Versatility: a turn-on or a turn-off?

[JustProwling]

turn off for me. i prefer 100% dom tops. 

THANK YOU!  Doesn't even have to be "dom" for me, just a total top all about his dick and my ass.  Simple.

[bbzh]

I'm considering removing my "preferred" role from all of my profiles because I think that it's very limiting for all parties involved. Think for a minute how many incredible fucks that bottoms have missed out on because they pre-judged the other guy because he said he was versatile. Or how many nice asses that tops have passed up because the other guy didn't self-identify as a total bottom. 

 

Given the disproportionate number of guys who prefer to be bottom, this self-labelling only leads to more frustration. The tops sometimes make older average-looking bottoms feel even more insecure by selecting only the youngest or most attractive bottoms, who may not even be the best fucks. Meanwhile, bottoms in their quest to compete for tops inadvertently make tops (some of who are lousy fucks) overvalued in the sexual marketplace. I blame porn and our need to fit certain gay stereotypes for forcing people into narrow boxes which they then feel obliged to defend. Almost like religion in a way. You know the shit doesn't make sense, but you go along with it because everybody else is too and you don't want to be labelled as the crazy or weird one.

 

Going to sex parties (which I don't do anymore) taught me just how much more fun versatile guys have. When you've got your conquest in front of you, and you're damn attracted to him, you can do whatever is needed to have a good time - even if that means for a few minutes stepping outside your preferred role. I wish a few more hardline bottoms would pop a Viagra or Cialis and give it a go sometimes. You might end up changing your mind or at least becoming better at your preferred role.  

 

Another story and I'll stop. Back in 2012, I was getting bred regularly by this dude who I thought was a top. We ended up playing in a group and I saw him get fucked. I was shocked. But ever since then, when I see him, I fuck the shit out of him and we get into some very intense flip fucking. He's a multiple shooter too, but that's another story.   

[JustProwling]

I'm considering removing my "preferred" role from all of my profiles because I think that it's very limiting for all parties involved. Think for a minute how many incredible fucks that bottoms have missed out on because they pre-judged the other guy because he said he was versatile. Or how many nice asses that tops have passed up because the other guy didn't self-identify as a total bottom. 

 

Given the disproportionate number of guys who prefer to be bottom, this self-labelling only leads to more frustration. The tops sometimes make older average-looking bottoms feel even more insecure by selecting only the youngest or most attractive bottoms, who may not even be the best fucks. Meanwhile, bottoms in their quest to compete for tops inadvertently make tops (some of who are lousy fucks) overvalued in the sexual marketplace. I blame porn and our need to fit certain gay stereotypes for forcing people into narrow boxes which they then feel obliged to defend. Almost like religion in a way. You know the shit doesn't make sense, but you go along with it because everybody else is too and you don't want to be labelled as the crazy or weird one.

 

Going to sex parties (which I don't do anymore) taught me just how much more fun versatile guys have. When you've got your conquest in front of you, and you're damn attracted to him, you can do whatever is needed to have a good time - even if that means for a few minutes stepping outside your preferred role. I wish a few more hardline bottoms would pop a Viagra or Cialis and give it a go sometimes. You might end up changing your mind or at least becoming better at your preferred role.  

 

Another story and I'll stop. Back in 2012, I was getting bred regularly by this dude who I thought was a top. We ended up playing in a group and I saw him get fucked. I was shocked. But ever since then, when I see him, I fuck the shit out of him and we get into some very intense flip fucking. He's a multiple shooter too, but that's another story.   

I definitely agree with ALL this.  But the fact is, different minds operate differently.  Whether it's because of some outside stigma or internal "struggle", it just doesn't FEEL right for lots of guys, mentally.  Considering your words, I'd STILL prefer to have an "alright" TOTAL top in my ass, over a dude who's ALSO a fuck-hole.  If it were easier to get out of that kind of head space, of course I'd enjoy it all, but it's the mentality that drives me, unfortunately.

[atlfukbud]

I find versatility hot in group/orgy settings where men just go with whatever feels good in the moment -- I've had some amazing sex with my dick buried in a tight (99% top) hole and with a 99% btm dude plowing my arse.

[GermanFucker]

Too me,if you're not versatile it gets pretty one-sided.I believe everyone should leave with a smile.

 

Some guys just aren't versatile at all. I'm a total top by nature. To me the concept of bottoming is as absurd as having sex with fish or poultry. I just love ass. I love rimming it, fucking it, seeding it. My sex life never gets boring.

 

 

Curious about how others feel about this. I know that for many guys versatility is a turn-on, and it certainly makes for more variety of configurations. However, for whatever reason, versatility is a turn-off for me. I'm really turned on by total bottoms, and when I chat with someone online I always find myself making sure that both of us expect a situation with purely opposite roles. I don't even care if the bottom boy gets hard or cum, as long as he totally and unambiguously loves getting fucked and I see that in his face with every stroke. I'm not into pain or sadism or anything like that - I just want hungry slut bottoms who love cock and dare show it.

Which brings me to my question: Am I atypical in feeling this way? Are you more turned on by versatility or by contrasts? Interested in hearing from both sides.

 

To me, it's more the other way round. Personally, I find knowing that the other guy is versatile more of a turn-on. Don't get me wrong, as NCPOZTOP said, the guys I have sex with all know that I myself am not.

 

But its hot knowing that the guy I'm seeding will in turn breed other guys himself.

 

Also it feels special if a guy as more of a top himself and will only get fucked by a select few.

 

Also I find that I do instinctively "click" with tops and versatile tops rather than bottoms, especially fem or submissive bottoms. It's just so very relaxing to know you're on the same wavelength.

 

I'm an alpha male, totally masculine. I'm not straight ACTING, I actually DO like cars, sports and home improvement. I'm a guy's guy who enjoys hanging with other dudes. If you're a bottom bitch, I'll use you. But for a real connection there has to be something more.

 

And lastly,  I do love a challenge: If you have 90% straight sex with women, and when having sex with guys you're 99% top, give me a call, you're just my type. I so wanna get into that ass of yours.

[Guest]

I'm mostly top but definitely love playing with versatile guys. Nothing hotter than spewing my bug in a poz pig's cunt and then getting his bug in me. Our DNA is connected forever!

[btm2bbred]

I've always been a total bottom and a cumslut.    However, I enjoy occasionally fucking ass--no problem getting hard, but I tend to be a quick shooter.    So I'm not likely  to please many bottoms who, like me, want a rough, hard and long pounding from a Top.

 

Now that I'm middle aged, I found I got more hits if I advertised myself as a Vers. bottom.     Most of my hookups are with total or Vers. Tops, but I have hooked up with a few Vers. bottoms, and even flip fucked with some of them.

 

I really prefer to have a Dom Top breed me, but all sex is good.     So being a Vers. bottom seems to widen the pool of men, so I'm going for it.

[bbzh]

@JustProwling: you wrote: "Considering your words, I'd STILL prefer to have an "alright" TOTAL top in my ass, over a dude who's ALSO a fuck-hole."

 

I understand what you are saying, but experience has taught me, things are not always what they seem. If I follow your logic, then all a guy has to do is tell you he's a "total" top (when in reality, he may not be) and you're good to go. He could very well have a load in his ass when he fucks you.

 

See here's where the internet and personal ads (some of us on here remember them  ) fucked up the game. I really do miss the days when you cruised guys on the street or in bars and you had no idea of what his preferred role was unless he was flagging it with a handkerchief (some of us on here remember them  ) or he told you.  If you were looking to get fucked and he fucked you, you were just fine.  

 

But nowadays we use the search function on a website, look at a pic (which might be very old), ask for more pics and then decide if we are going to hook up with a guy, knowing full well that guys will say just about anything to get laid. We look for things to use to screen people out. And while the internet has allowed us to organize ourselves into subgroups by fetish/interest, it has also cut us off from a wide range of men that we might otherwise find interesting. But alas, our Prince Charming ticked the wrong box on his profile and now he's in the reject pile. That's what I find sad. 

 

If you are turned off by versatility, I accept that. However, just remember things are not always what they seem. Maybe my next project is to create several profiles - one top, one bottom, one versatile - with a variety of different photos and report back on just how these labels are nothing more than our attempt to get what we think we want. 

[Guest bbbearlover1]

I have fucked versatile guys in the past (and note that I've written that I have "fucked" them), but I've never been fucked.  And I continue to have zero interest in getting fucked, just not my thing.  Now, I am looking exclusively for white subs whose dicks are just there to remind me that they are male.

[not_sure_bb]

100% bottom here, i will take a vers cock but really prefer a TOP cock much more. 

[MackyJay]

  I am a bottom and versatile is not much of an option for me.  Seems most vers. guys are like me,  a bottom, and not very vers. at all.   I find it somewhat of a turn off.

[NWUSHorny]

As a versatile guy, versatility is definitely not a turn off.  I love both fucking and getting fucked, and as a big, masculine guy with a big cock I top a lot more than I bottom.  Nine times out of ten when I do find someone interested in fucking me we wind up flip flopping, which as far as I'm concerned is the ultimate session.

 

It may not limit your sex life if you are a total top, but bottoms that guys they know are versatile will eventually eliminate almost all of their potential partners.

Edited January 10, 2015 by NWUSHorny

[wanttobeseeded]

It can definitely be frustrating because, unlike in straight communities (where sexual roles are to some extent predetermined by obvious  genital/gender assignment), fucking in gay communities necessitates negotiation. And there's tons of pitfalls in that negotiating. Added to that, what people have pointed out already: guys who want to bottom seem to outnumber guys who want to top in pretty much every instance. It's a recipe for dissatisfaction. If you're a bottom, you're a dime a dozen, and unless you can command a lot of men's attention with your body/face/sexual attitude, you're not going to get fucked. (I know. I've been there.) I am always championing developing diversity in our desire for this reason. It is silly to overly limit whom we will have sex with based on race, age, ability...but I have to acknowledge the hypocrisy of wanting people to not discriminate based on, say, race, while discriminating based on position. So yeah, it would just make more sense for more of us to be versatile, just like it would make more sense for more of us to care less about race, body type, age, and the rest when it comes to fucking.

 

But that said...I just love to bottom. I can be a "serial vers," and when I top (the right) guy, I can be very, very good. But in terms of the interaction I crave from men? I want to be a bottom bitch. The more bottom, the more better. I'd be fine if I never topped again. I hate when guys even allude to my penis when we're in a sexual situation, like a top who comments that I am bigger than he is. You think I don't know that? It's obvious I have a bigger penis than you; it should be even more obvious that it doesn't matter. This is why I prefer being with total, total tops (ideally, even straight guys who only know how to do one thing: get the seed in): nothing but my ass or my mouth should be of interest. I think what it is is I want to be completely dominated, controlled by a top whose priority is only making sure his cock gets what it wants and who won't let me go until it does. As an all-loads-taken bottom, I would never refuse a vers guy, or even a total bottom who wanted to get off in my ass. But for maximum pleasure--and let's face it, if I go through the work to be ready for sex, I want the maximum--I want to be with a top who cares more about fucking his way even more than he cares about me as a person. Flip-flopping, or seeing guys who topped me in different roles ruins that for me.

[bbzh]

I've played all the roles, having started out as a top, then switched to bottom and now somewhere in between. I'll never limit myself. I get having a preferred role, but I guess what I don't get is having a preferred role (e.g. bottom) and then being frustrated that there are not enough tops - because to me, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Or you look for a solution.

 

I'm lucky in that I am in a long term open relationship with a versatile top. He only occasionally bottoms for me. So when I want to top, it's clear I get to fuck other guys. But when I want to bottom with other guys, I don't sit online for hours, getting frustrated, hoping that a "total" top picks me. Luckily, I have a few regulars from years of living in the same place and that works for all parties involved. In fact, one of my buds is bottom in his relationship but only tops me. The other thing I do is travel because it just exposes me to more people. And when I no longer get my sexual needs met through my man, my fuck buds and my travels, then I guess I'll turn to escorts or find the sites where younger guys are looking for grandpas. LOL.

 

For the bottoms who say there aren't enough tops, I've heard some of my top friends say, the guys they are most interested in don't want to bottom. Go figure! I think sometimes as men we are wired to chase after what is often the most difficult to acquire. You would think that with all this technology - i.e. knowing who is within feet of us and looking for sex - that we as gays would be the most sexually satisfied group ever!!! I think it has made us even more demanding and more selfish and less sexually satisfied.

[atlbtmpig]

I am a total bottom.  I will suck cock and eat ass, but do not expect me to fuck you.