Is sex addiction real?

[brnbk]

Many of us, would have at some point  come across the topic of sex addiction and some perhaps some even 'explored if we are one!

Sex addiction is a term used to describe an alleged addiction to sex, similar to alcohol or drug addiction; the only difference here being an addiction to a process as opposed to substances.  Some other process addictions including gambling, shopping, debt, codependency; and food as well which I guess, is somewhere in between a substance addiction and a process addiction. 

There are groups/fellowships out there that purport to help sex addicts including ones specifically tailored to meet the needs of gay sex addicts or sexual compulsives

Are these people really helping gay people who need help OR just legitimizing social homophobia — into forms that look like they are trying to help (conversion therapy etc.) but are actually harming homosexuals in the long run! 

 

Edited November 22, 2023 by brnbk

[ErosWired]

From the point of view of the professional medical/psychiatric community, sexual addiction, as addiction, is not a recognized condition. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual V (DSM-V), the manual used in the United States for diagnosis of mental disorders, does not contain a diagnosis for sexual addiction. The International Classification of Diseases-11th Edition (ICD-11) includes a formal diagnosis of compulsive sexual behavior disorder, but it’s classified as an impulse-control disorder, not an addiction. So, technically the answer is No.

However, the degree to which certain impulse-control disorders can be considered behavioral or “process” addictions is a matter of debate and research in the professional sphere. The prevailing hypothesis appears to concern the dysfunction of reward centers of the brain due to a reduction in response to dopamine as a result of frequent exposure to stimuli, but a number of factors, including genetics, environment, and comorbidity of other mental conditions, may be implicated. In the case of substance abuse disorders, the substances themselves may cause physical changes in the brain that precipitate the addiction, but a behavior does not have this effect directly. So, hypothetically, the answer is Maybe.

Undeniably, there are persons who suffer from an impulse-control disorder that is termed Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder that causes them distress and drives them to behavior that interferes with the normal, healthy function of their lives. To the extent that one might consider addiction in a broad, vernacular sense, the answer is yes.

But none of the answers provided in the poll are really helpful in assessing the question.

 

[DaWhore]

When the color on your dick fades out because of years of friction, you just can't answer anything but ”yes”.

[KingB028]

Yes it is. And i am one, and proud too.

Some are coffee addicts, some are addicted to social media. the list is endless. Addictions become an issue only once they start harming someone. mine Doesnt so i fully embraced it

[Pozguyinchi]

I like how you think. I am sure I am an addict too. When I was young and getting bred I knew I wanted that feeling daily. Most boys sort of grow out of it some as they get older. I did not. I am now 40 and need to serve daily. Since starting my journey at 13, literally thousands of men have used me to get off. Because I know what I am I can never really have a relationship ship. I have resigned to know that it is just who I am.

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, KingB028 said:

Addictions become an issue only once they start harming someone. mine Doesnt so i fully embraced it

That’s the thing, though. Addictions, by definition, aren’t considered addictions until they begin causing harm to the person having them. Not everyone who has sex at every opportunity is a sex addict - some people are just promiscuous sluts. For them, a claim of addiction is just another way of saying ‘the Devil made me do it’.

Edited November 23, 2023 by ErosWired

[ErosWired]

The measure of whether a person is addicted is if in order to obtain the thing to which they are addicted they will do things that put their interests and wellbeing at risk - risk incarceration, loss of employment, financial destitution, social shame, ruin of personal relationships - and find themselves not only compelled to do these things but unable to stop themselves from doing them, regardless of the harms risked; and having experienced such harms does nothing to restrain them. They are unable to learn from such experience as one might from touching a hot stove. The addict would touch the hot stove again if it meant getting a fix.

[justsexnowatl]

2 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

I like how you think. I am sure I am an addict too. When I was young and getting bred I knew I wanted that feeling daily. Most boys sort of grow out of it some as they get older. I did not. I am now 40 and need to serve daily. Since starting my journey at 13, literally thousands of men have used me to get off. Because I know what I am I can never really have a relationship ship. I have resigned to know that it is just who I am.

You could have a relationship for sure! I would only consider dating another slut. I need constant variety of sluts to fuck with even though I’d like a partner again at some point. I would love if my hot partner text that’s he’s gonna get bred on his way home and offer me sloppy seconds or bring random guys home and let me share if I want or just come in and eat/breed his fucked ass after. I love “good” jealousy. Don’t get mad, get even 😈😈

[scotty9]

15 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

You could have a relationship for sure! I would only consider dating another slut. I need constant variety of sluts to fuck with even though I’d like a partner again at some point. I would love if my hot partner text that’s he’s gonna get bred on his way home and offer me sloppy seconds or bring random guys home and let me share if I want or just come in and eat/breed his fucked ass after. I love “good” jealousy. Don’t get mad, get even 😈😈

Same here, if the guy is as slutty as me, there's no problem having a relationship, if everyone is on the same level as I am. 

[BadBob2023]

Yes, without doubt. I'm totally addicted. Most days I have long periods when I can't think of anything else. The urge for sex takes over and all common sense goes out the window until I get cock, preferably, up inside me. It has to be bareback and I have to receive a load to get the satisfaction I need. Sometimes I need it multiple times a day. I've tried to distract myself with other things but the desire always overcomes everything. 

[Heir2012]

There needs to be a difference between loving sex and being addicted to sex. That's the issue I'm seeing here. 

Yes, you can love sex and feel as if you're having sex all the time. You may even like to think of yourself as an addict because the idea gets you hot. That isn't addiction exactly. 

Addiction, in a simple definition as it is explained well in posts above, is when there is something the person does that creates a harm to their life. This can include actual physical harm, but it can also be a harm that causes issues in their everyday life. If your desire to have sex has created issues at work where you've gotten in trouble for sex-related issues, skipping work to have sex multiple times, or have harassed someone, then there could be cause to see your issue as being an addiction. There is a film called "Thanks for Sharing" that examines people with sex addiction. It shows a range of people, but it shows how these people are actually struggling with their addiction because it has created issues for them in how they need to live. They can't hold down jobs. They find their behaviors to be self-destructive. That last issue is the one that some men here may find a connection; is trying to get a disease considered self-destructive behavior. I think many would say that it is. 

Overall, it's a complicated issue. Not everyone is going to agree. The medical field doesn't even agree the whole time. Basically, if you find that your life suffers because you can't stop thinking about or having sex, then maybe you do have an addiction. It's up to you to decide if you want help or if you love living the way you are. 

[ErosWired]

7 hours ago, Heir2012 said:

Overall, it's a complicated issue. Not everyone is going to agree. The medical field doesn't even agree the whole time. Basically, if you find that your life suffers because you can't stop thinking about or having sex, then maybe you do have an addiction. It's up to you to decide if you want help or if you love living the way you are. 

It is complicated. I personally conjecture that there is the potential for a true addiction-like state connected to sexual behavior, but I would submit that it isn’t purely a process- or behavioral- based phenomenon. Based on my own experience of having been exposed to coitus in high volume, I believe that the chemical changes that take place in the brain during serial sexual encounters, both as a result of normal systems operating at abnormal frequency, and the introduction of unusually high volume of pleasure-stimulating chemicals from partners, results in effects that take on some of the characteristics of substance abuse.

Undeniably, getting loads makes me want more. Having repeated extreme or intense sex makes normal sex unsatisfying. Eventually, you could fuck continuously 24/7 and feel nothing but desperation. I have felt the very edge of that sensation, and am extremely wary of getting much closer to it - beyond lies a black, howling void. It is little wonder that those who find themselves within it do irrational things to try to get out.

Those who use ‘addiction’ as an excuse to cover up personal shame, embarrassment, or inner conflict about their promiscuous nature are dealing with an entirely different set of psychological issues that have nothing to do with addiction. Similarly, those who claim addiction because they become aroused at the thought of being addicted to sex are not addicted; they are fetishizing it. Admittedly, this can become a confusing mental roundabout - the more the person feels aroused at the thought of addiction, the more the person supposed he must be ‘addicted’ because of how aroused he is, which makes him more aroused at being so ‘addicted’, and so on…if anything, he becomes addicted to the idea of being addicted.

One might think that a measure of true sexual addiction might be to ask if the person has sex even if he really doesn’t want to - if the compulsion drives the behavior independent of desire. I’m not sure, however, how reliable that is, based on my own experience. There have been quite a few times when I have taken a fucking even though I really didn’t want to - I might have been very tired, or very sore  because a Top had used me particularly brutally that night, or I found the Top personally distasteful - but I took the cock anyway. I didn’t do so because I was addicted to it and just had to have it; I did it because it was my duty, and I was trained to fulfill that duty regardless of my discomfort or distaste. Some might argue that that still points to some kind of psychological maladaptation, and objectively I concede that is a possibility, but it does not cause me distress (quite the contrary, it’s very rewarding), and it in no way bears any of the characteristics of addiction.

As you say…complicated.

[brnbk]

  

On 11/24/2023 at 9:37 AM, Heir2012 said:

Overall, it's a complicated issue. Not everyone is going to agree. The medical field doesn't even agree the whole time.

On 11/24/2023 at 6:02 PM, ErosWired said:

As you say…complicated.

It sure is complicated! and I have started wondering about people who gather in groups/societies 🙂 and claim they are sex addicts. Not that i don't think its possible but it sure seems like they are very keen to ascribe this 'title' to themselves, almost like some kind of self flagellation of their christian church upbringing, of their parents or grandparents memory as many did grow up without any personal attendance to a church but their religious ideas mostly came from society around them.  

I have seen self proclaimed sex addicts-gay men talk about how it was horribly 'addictive' for them to visit a sex bookstore in the 80's and I kept thinking to myself, how else would u have had sex back then, considering many parts of the US did have active anti-sodomy laws which meant that u could go to jail for homosexual sex. How these men can consider their sexual activity as being "addictive" often with the justification that they could get AIDS added it, as being proof of their addiction is beyond me.

As far AIDS is concerned, I have shared in my earlier post ( which I am not going to repeat, lest i get banned again!) that the U.S. government with it medical negligence did end up creating HIV Aids into a problem for gays and blacks and eventually a global problem, that it is today. A speech that Hollywood hero, and  President of that era, Ronald Regan made in 1987 is very telling of his views, "It's also important that America not reject those who have the disease, but care for them with dignity and kindness. Final judgment is up to God; our part is to ease the suffering and to find a cure". I wonder if he would have referred to those with heart disease or cancer or some other medical disease, as awaiting a Final Judgement from God.

To our self diagnosed sex addicts who believe Aids is a proof of the addictiveness of gay sex I have to ask: Going out in the cold can make u catch a cold or worse get pneumonia. Thus, is going out in the cold, addictive and those who do such things, "addicts".

Sex is as complicated as human life. Studies point to the complexity of human sexual existence and experience. Regular ejaculation, atleast according to existing studies, says can prevent prostrate cancer in older men. (Havard published research. )To those who are anti-sexual, that should be food for thought. 

 

Edited November 26, 2023 by brnbk

[PigBoyDallas]

Yeah...not gonna lie. I am a sex addict. Need it all the time. Kind of ashamed about what I'll say and do to get sex, but also not really. I have needs.

[ellentonboy]

I believe it is.  I spent a summer hanging with a guy, around my age, whose number of sexual partners, per day, per week astounded me.  In his home, he had a play room and sometimes he and his partner would have maybe 4 to 5 guys over at a time.  I met him, randomly, though a mutual friend and he invited me back to his house to meet his partner.   This new friend of mine, Johnnie taught me so much about sex being  a "numbers game". and he proved it time and time again.  Those participants who used to come to his house to play with Johnnie and his partner, would also come over within an hour of his partner going off to work.  Johnnie was on unemployment that summer, and had me come over and meet some of these guys who he had sex with 4 to 5 times a week, many of whom were married with children and were unemployed.  After finishing with them, we ate a small lunch, and got in his car.  He would proceed to head to every book store in the Tampa area.  He knew where to get the lunch crowd, he knew where to get the "just left work crowd" and there was one guy who he had a standing 6 pm fuck reservation  with at a larger bookstore that had a huge booth in the back where they could get completely naked.  There was also an upstairs area, where for a $10 fee, you could take all your clothes off and no one said a word.  This upper floor was divided into different movie rooms, showing a variety of porn.  I saw my friend going from video room to video room, stark naked with the exception of sneakers.  We wore tank tops, shorts and a jock under our shorts so our clothes could come on and off easily.   There was a downstairs area that was a maze, where there were dark corners, small areas where two to four guys could fit.  In ONE day, he was fucked by 47 different guys.  I valued his friendship, he and his partner even set up a room in their house so I  could crash there, with a day bed and a private bathroom for me.  I never got the impression that his partner resented me,  but there were many mornings where I was already at the house and his partner was getting dressed for his ten or twelve hour shift at a hospital.  He had to know we didn't sit around all day watching tv.   I purchased the two of them a web cam program, and Johnnie got on that and showed me the video-private messages  he had received from all the "elite" top guys in Tampa (in other words, those with 9 plus inches).  Some would just send a pic of their dick, and that meant for him to head on over.  I don't exaggerate the totals of men who went through that house, that play room had a camera set up in it. and they recorded  EVERY session, just no sound.  I mean I spotted the camera the minute I got there, they had merely put a piece of tape over the red light so people wouldn't notice it.   Everything, at that time, was shot onto VHS.  Oh, they didn't tape over those videos, not by a long shot.  In the play room, behind a wall, were all the videos from over the years, with the dates on them, 100s of them. You could see some guys would actually look directly into the camera, but from the exterior it looked like it was non-functional.  My favorite night had to be when I had lost my ignition key, and I was waiting for AAA to make me a copy.  A French tourist drove up, looking for Johnnie's house.  I just pointed, and said "That's Johnnie's house".   While waiting for the AAA guy to finish making my key, we heard something like a crashing noise.  Here.  the French man had fucked Johnnie so hard his sling came out of the ceiling and the two feel forward.  No penis was injured in this accident.  They just finished on the floor.  I asked him, after one 9 am to say 10 pm day, how many men he had sex with.  He was unimpressed with his tally - he modestly said "47".    47 guys in one weekday, like a Tuesday or Wednesday.

Johnnie got a job that fall, and I told him I thought we should slow down on the amount of time we spent together.  I don't work, I wasn't working then, and I was a bad influence.  I didn't want him to lose what was a very good job offer, and hanging out with me can be a distraction and will only deplete your sick leave balance (because you will be calling in and taking the day off, no doubt after listening to me rationalize why that is a good thing).

So, do 47 partners in a day, (and that was an "average" day) prove that sexual addiction exists?  I think it does.   Sure I have read posts from individuals who say there is documentation from certain medical associations who claim "there is no such thing" or "no, it doesn't exist".   But I am not here to go back and forth over who may be right.  However Johnnie proved to me that sex can be a "numbers game".  We are still friends to this day.   He has mellowed some, he is still with his partner, but he does now work from home while his partner is still at the hospital.  I don't ask personal questions because too much time has passed.  He's having a Christmas party this year and I was invited, in the past, they have locked down the "play room" and I am sure that routine will continue.  They're something creepy about getting fucked while Santa watches. They are big into Christmas, they have a huge home I don't know how long it must take to decorate but it must take days.

Sorry, but I think sexual addiction does exist, some of us are better at controlling our addictions than others.....