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Visible Red Flags

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What do you do when you recognize the red flags, but something in you chooses to ignore them? 

 

I guess that is what sets each of us on our own individual path.  I don’t have to say, “Looking back I see the red flags” no, I clearly saw the red flags at the time, but choose to keep going despite the severe warning and that is how I got to where I am today.  I guess I should start this story in college.

 

I absolutely loved college, I was smart, so good grades came easy, I had lots of good friends, and we partied way too much, I was an attractive guy, so I found it easy to get girls and I took full advantage.  I would say that I slept with several of the most attractive girls on campus.  I was always careful, well most of the time I was very careful, because despite all the partying and sleeping around, I knew exactly what I wanted out of life and I didn’t want an unexpected pregnancy or std to interfere with that.

 

Since high school I knew I was going to be a lawyer with a trophy wife, making bank and living the good life.  I had no doubts that was my life’s direction, and it didn’t matter how much fun college was, that was my top priority, so I wasn’t going to do anything to risk that.  I made good grades, I read books, I exercised daily, ate well, used condoms, and stayed healthy.

 

Now, as careful as I was, there was one thing I wanted to try that did risk everything.  I really wanted a blow job from a guy, but there was no way I would risk getting caught, so there was no way I would ever act on it.  I guess you could say I was a little bi-curious.  It wasn’t a dominating thought or anything, I have no doubt that I was way more attracted to girls, and loved having sex with girls, but I did want to see what this experience would be like. 

 

Occasionally, if I had a boring weekend I would get on my fake email and get on craigslist and chat with other guys who were looking for a “secret hookup buddy”, but I was always worried it could be someone that I might recognize or run into while I was out with friends, so it never went further than that.  Well almost never. 

 

My senior year, I had one of those boring weekends where I got on Craigslist and posted “college hunk looking to chat”.  As you all know, you get a ton of spam, but there were a few serious ones, but most wanted to chat for 10 minutes and then meet, which I wasn’t ready for.  But there was one guy, Dan, who was totally happy with chatting and nothing more.  Obviously, he was bored and didn’t have many friends, so he was happy for someone to talk with.

 

I explained to him a little about myself, even though I changed up some key aspects to try and throw him off my trail if he did try to investigate.  He told me he was in his late 40’s (no chance of us running in the same crowds), worked at a gas station at night, as he told me it’s the gas station right by The DipStick, the only gay bar in town.  I laughed and told him that has to be convenient and he said that it was and that occasionally some drunk guys leaving the place would stop in for beer or cigarettes and he might get to blow them or something in the bathroom.

 

We chatted for a few hours and when I was about to leave the chat he said “I know you’re not ready, but if you ever want a really good blow job I live over at the Lake View apartments on MLK blvd.  You could stop by real quick and get off and if you wanted you could touch my cock if you’ve never got that opportunity before”.  I told him that I appreciated the offer, but wasn’t ready.  I logged off and went to search his apartment, which was directly behind the gas station he worked at, and it was really run down and looked sketchy and dangerous, like you’re going to get mugged or shot.

 

Over the next few months leading up to winter break we chatted quite a bit and I grew to really enjoy talking with me.  Of course the conversations grew more sexual, with him talking about how much he wanted to see me naked and suck my cock, and I was definitely turned on by the thought of it and I would reply somewhat vague, like “Oh yeah”, I was still super nervous, like all of a sudden he would respond “this was all a joke, this is your friend and we are punking you, you fag!”.   I know how stupid that sounds, but my mind was crazy. 

 

The more and more we talked the more comfortable I became with him, I ended up sending him a body/dick pic, which he almost melted over.  Not trying to brag, this statement is more about the lack of attention this guy would get rather than how hot I was, but I was pretty damn hot.  He responded with a pic of him jerking off, and he had a really big dick, long and slim, just like the full body and face pic he sent next.  He was an older guy, looked like he had a rough life. Tall and skinny.  Behind him I could see his bed mattress on the floor with a box tv on a milk crate in a room that was absolutely trashed with clothes and trash on the floor, definitely a guy who doesn't have much company.

 

Despite all that mess and sketchy apartment, I was turned on, mainly because it felt safe. There was no way I was going to run into this guy anywhere I went.  We were definitely not running in the same circles, but he was lonely and bored and had plenty of time to try and investigate who I was and find my real identity, so I still kept my guard up.

 

Finals week right before winter break, I was one of the few people on campus that got stuck with a Friday Final, so by Thursday almost everyone was gone.  The campus was a ghost town, but that is ok, because I needed to study for my final.  Thursday night I was studying, until I got too bored and decided to jump online and see if Dan was online and wanted to chat.  I got online and sent him a message “Enjoying the snow?”, within 2 minutes he was online and replied

·      Dan: Bundled up in bed naked staying warm, you?

·      Me: Trying to study, but bored and now thinking about being naked in bed

·      Dan: Naked In bed is a lot more fun when someone is with you

·      Me: I bet your right, its too bad you don’t have someone there with you to help keep you warm

·      Dan: I know, I wish someone would cum over, I would definitely show them how much I appreciated the cumpany

·      Me: You mean you can’t find anyone on craigslist to cum over on a night like this?  I would think it would be easy to get a one-night-stand

·      Dan: Yeah, if I looked like you!

·      Me: Well, I think you look like a great one night stand

·      Dan: Be careful what you say

·      Me: Why is that?

·      Dan: if you ever do come over for a bj I might try more

·      Me: more?

·      Dan: Make you fall in love with me

·      Me: Lol, how so?

·      Dan: I will get you on my bed and you will be asking for a bj and I will start blowing you and then I will stop and pull your pants all the way off and start kissing you up your stomach to your mouth and you would be surprised as I kiss you, but even more surprised to feel my giant cock pressing up against you as I tell you how much I want you, you reply “I only want to be with you” as I slide my giant cock inside you and make love to you until we cum together

·      Me: fuck man, that got me hard!

·      Dan: cum over, please!

·      Me: I’m driving around now going to get something

·      Dan: cum over here now!   Take a left off MLK to 13th, the second building facing the road, second floor, apartment 2B, door is open and its cold outside please come shut my door

·      Me:

·      Dan: you there

·      Me: I’m parked outside

·      Dan: cum up baby, I want you

·      Me:

·      Dan: please baby!

·      Me:

·      Dan: I see you sitting in your truck, want me to come down

·      Me:

·      Dan: I’m coming down

 

I see him walk out his apartment door, down the stairs and I’m panicking.  My heart is beating out of my chest, not sure what to do, but I can’t move.  He knocks on the passenger window and opens the door and sits in the truck.  He tries to talk me into to coming up stairs, but I can’t move.  I am so scared that I just sit there giving him one-word answers.  We sit like this for 5 or so minutes until he reaches over and starts rubbing my leg.  I am so nervous my body is shaking as his hand goes to my cock that is rock hard.  As he feels my cock, he smiles at me and starts to pull it out from my sweatpants.  He starts rubbing my cock saying how much my cock wants him, and how much I want to be with him, as he is leaning over to my cock he says “don’t worry, I want us to be together too” and he takes my cock in his mouth.

 

It felt so fucking good, I had never felt anything like it before. Everything around us was quite, no-one around, dark and super cold with snow falling as this old man is sucking me off in my truck and I’ve never been more turned on.  It didn’t take long for me to cum and he swallowed it all up.  He sat up licking his lips to see my face completely in shock at what just happened, he then leaned over and kissed me.  The high was wearing off and I began to come back to reality and what had just happened and what had almost happened if I had went in the apartment. 

 

He noticed the change in my demeanor and made a quick exit, but before he left he said “see how easy it is, you’re not going to jail, you didn’t get caught by anyone, you don’t have to stay for dinner after.  Any time you want to, you know where I live” and he left and I drove home.

 

For weeks after, I will still in shock, promising to myself that it would never happen again, but that only lasted for a little while before I got curious.  I really wanted to see what messages he had sent me since our encounter, so I logged on to see, and there were several messages about how good that was and would have been better if I had come inside the apartment and how much he missed me and thought we could start something amazing.

 

Despite all this, how good it was, how often we chatted, my final semester at college, we only chatted. I never went back over there.

 

After graduation, I was going to law school about 1.5 hours away, so after the semester had ended my dad and younger brothers came to help me pack and move me to my new apartment in a new city.  They packed up all my clothes except the clothes on my back and were about to leave when I decided I wanted to stay one more night and head home in the morning.  My dad responded, "but you don’t have a bed or anything here", it's ok, I will sleep on the floor or over at a friends.  Its my last night here, probably ever, I want to go out with friends and have a few drinks, they agreed and left, but I had no intentions of going out, well not with friends.  

I went to the gym and got something to eat and some beer and came home and showered and got clean and shaved up and around 10pm, decided to jump on chat and see what Dan was up to:

 

·      Me: well this is it.  I am heading out.  I can say I am honestly going to miss you and our talks

·      Dan: Come say goodbye

·      Me: lol, I cant, I am with my family

·      Dan: Damn, I wish you had come over last night so I could say good bye to you

·      Me: me too! 

·      Dan: I am going to miss you two!

·      Me: us two?

·      Dan: you and your little friend, to bad he never got to meet my friend, they would have liked each other

·      Dan: sends a picture of him holding his cock

·      Me: wow! I swear your cock is a foot long

·      Dan: lol, no.  I wish it was wider

·      Me: is that better

·      Dan: most people want it thicker rather than longer

·      Me: Oh, it looks good to me

·      Dan: I really liked yours and really wanted to see it again

·      Me: would you suck it as good as you did last time?

·      Dan: better!

·      Me: How so?

·      Dan: we would be naked in bed together and I would make you never want to leave me

·      Me: Don’t go falling in love, I am leaving tomorrow

·      Dan: tomorrow?

·      Me: maybe

·      Dan: don’t go falling in love

·      Me: lol touché

·      Dan: Cum over and let’s make love 

·      Me:  Make love?  getting serious here Dan?

·      Dan: Maybe, by the end you won’t want to leave, I may get you pregnant so you have to stay

·      Me: that might be hard, not sure I can get pregnant

·      Dan: lol, that means we are going to make love bareback and I’m going to cum deep inside you, so we are together forever

·      Me: Oh lol!  But I always use a condom, no offense.

·      Dan: you won’t want to tonight, it feels SOOO good to have someone cum deep inside you

·      Me: really?

·      Dan: yes!  You will love it.

·      Me: I don't know if you're clean or have something.  Are you clean?

·      Dan: I think so, I am trusting that you’re clean. 

·      Me: lol, you didn’t even ask me if i was!

·      Dan: I guess I honestly don’t care, I just want us to be together, even if you do have something.   How about this, I will put it in you and if you don’t like the way it feels I will pull out and put on a condom?

·      Me: I can’t believe I am saying this, but I think okay

·      Dan: you think?

·      Me: I’m having a few drinks trying to build up the courage to come over.

·      Dan: Come over baby, please.  We can make slow sweet love, and if you decide to move, we will have this one night and we will both know that my cum will always be inside you

·      Me: Ok!

·      Dan: YES!  I fucking love you

·      Me: hold on, someone is knocking on my door

 

I got to the door and 3 of my friends where there and just came inside saying let’s go out and get wasted.  I didn’t return to my messages that night and completely left him hanging.

 

The next day I left and moved off, started law school, met a girl, and started a new life, completely leaving dan behind.  As I started my new life and had a clear vision of my future, I was thankful that that night ended up the way it did, but I did feel terrible about just leaving him without even saying goodbye. 

 

It was almost 2 years after that night that I was home alone and bored and decided to log in and see what he had said after me ditching him. I was very nervous because I knew he would be furious, but to my surprise his messages weren’t hateful or angry at all.  For the next few months following that night, he apologized for trying to rush me, he asked if I was ok, he expressed concern that maybe something had happened to me and he would never know, he messaged me about missing me, but nothing hateful.

 

I sent him a message trying to explain what had happened that night and what had happened since then, and how I hoped he could forgive me for just disappearing. Within a few minutes he was online and was very nice.  He was glad to see that I was ok and wasn't dead, and said that he understood.  We chatted for a little while about life, nothing sexual, just catching up.

 

Over the next TEN YEARS we continued to chat, not on a regular basis, but once or twice every 6 months and some instances going over a year without talking.  Most of our talking was about life, just how things are going.  I told him about me getting married and working for my wife’s dad’s law firm and basically living the life I had always dreamed.  I wasn’t trying to brag, but when you’re talking about your life, this stuff was bound to come up.   He was still living in the same apartment and was working at the same gas station; he said he was really depressed for a year or so after I disappeared.   He almost seemed angry or resentful that my life was going so well and his wasn't.  This wasn't the life he had dreamed of, nobody wants to be almost 60 years old working at a gas station and living pay check to pay check.  I felt like he believed that if I had just come over that night, then me and him would be together and we would be living together and he would be the one driving the mercedes instead of my wife.

 

Although I did enjoy talking with him, he did not seem like the same guy I knew, he lived a more carefree lifestyle.  As if tomorrow didn't matter, living life without fear of consequences, and was almost happy to tell me about it, perhaps trying to make me jealous of his sexual escapades.

Over the next 10 years, he would send me messages about guys leaving DipStick that he would hook up with in the bathroom or occasionally go back to his apartment.  Inevitably, one day I got a message that he got herpes, then a couple years later he said he tested positive for Hepatitis C, this one really seemed to hit him hard, he was depressed and angry with himself.  After this he seemed to be almost on a downward spiral, not caring about his actions so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I got a message one day that he tested HIV positive. 

 

This one really got him angry and depressed; I believe he hated seeing how my life turned out and how his was spiraling downwards.  I believe he was honestly believing that me and him would end up together and maybe I would take him away from his life working at a gas station trying to suck off drunk strangers in the bathroom because that was the only action he could get.   He never came out said that, but he would get upset if I spoke about my wife or anything positive with our life, but did seem to enjoy the problems I had working for my father-in-law and my wife always took his side.  

 

After his new found status, he went on a while sleeping with people without a condom and said he enjoyed giving them what he called his “Happy Meal” because it was a combo of Herpes, Hepatitis and HIV.  He rationalized it as though the person didn’t want to wear a condom or ask him if he was poz, so he had no problem sharing it with them.  In his mind, if his life was falling apart, he wanted everyone else to experience the same feeling.  

 

We would continue to chat every 6 months or so, and eventually he began to embrace his new life and didn’t look at it as if it was a curse.  He said he couldn’t afford medication, so he would just live his best life and enjoy his life.  He honestly seemed a lot happier, like the Dan I remembered from college, if not happier.

 

One day I sent him a picture message of an office building.  He replied what is that?  I told him that it was my new office.  I left my father in law’s firm after being passed up for a partnership.  He never really liked me, so I quit and started out on my own.  This ultimately led to some serious issues between me and my wife and caused some friction because I was making way less money and she was daddy’s little girl so I was always the bad guy. 

 

But what really caught me off guard was Dan’s response, he replied to my message of the picture with the address. I asked him how he got it and he told me that he did an image search and found it on the realtors site with the address.

 

Thankfully I don’t think Dan had a car, so he did have immediate access to me.  My biggest fear, being found out was closer than ever, and I had more to lose than ever before.

 

Dan started to tease me about how he was going to show up one day at my office so we could pick up where we left off 10 years ago.  Thankfully, nothing ever came from it, because again, I don’t think Dan had a car or transportation.

 

One night I was home alone because my wife had gone to a fund raiser for dog charity she works with and we were still not doing very well, so she went alone.  So, I got online to talk to dan.

 

·      Me: What’s up

·      Dan: Cuming to knock on your door

·      Me: (panicking) WHAT?

·      Dan: I know where you work now

·      Me: (relieved he didn’t know my home address) and what are you going to do when you get there?

·      Dan: Take you back to your office and give you what you’ve been dreaming of for 10 years

·      Me: and what is that?

·      Dan: Me, all of me!

·      Me: All of you?

·      Dan: yes, all of it!  Nothing between us, you and me joined

·      Me: well too bad im not at the office

·      Dan: yeah!  Move back here!

·      Me: Lol,

·      Dan: You wouldn’t ever want me to leave after

·      Me: after?

·      Dan: after I knock you up!  You’ll fall in love

 

After this conversation I realized, he wanted to be with me.  He doesn’t just want a one-night-stand, he wants to be together and I may be treading on dangerous waters.

 

But still, a couple of months later I find myself logged in again to talk with Dan.  Why am I ignoring these red flags!  But the next red flag was unmistakable, this message that he sent a couple of days after our last conversation:

 

Dan: I know you want me, why are you lying to yourself.  You know you want to be with me.  We have been talking for over 10 years, and still want each other.  I just wish you would give in to what YOU want.  You know you’re not happy, only I can make you happy, just like only you can make me happy.  We are meant to be together and if you would just meet me you would see that.  Just one night together and you would see we are meant for each other.  I would treat you so much better than your wife does.  Does she think about you all the time, does she get your dick as hard as I do.  Just come here for one day, one hour and you will see it.  I know you’re nervous, but I would be so gentle.  I would start by kissing you and telling you how much I love you and then I would lead you back to the bed and I would lay on top you kissing you so softly as we started taking each other’s clothes off.  I would work my way down kissing your chest and stomach and then your beautiful cock.  You would moan as I sucked it like I did last time, but I wouldn’t let you cum yet.  I would work my way back up between your legs as you look up at me, looking in my eyes as you pull my giant rock-hard cock out of my underwear.  You have been wanting this so long and here it is, right in front of you, its yours forever!  I bend down and start kissing your ear as you feel my bare cock pushing up against you.  I ask you if you want me, as you reply “Yes”, but I want more, I want to hear how bad you want me baby, you reply “So bad, I only want you”.  I tell you to grab my bare cock and aim it towards your lubed hole.  Do you want my bare cock baby, you reply “Yes I do”.  Tell me how bad you want it “I want you to fuck me raw, impregnate me, give me what you have so we can be together forever. I want to be with you only you, make me yours now, plant your seed in me now baby, I love you!”  as I put my cock inside your raw, you’re so happy to finally have it, I make a few small strokes and finally get all 10” inside you.  I stop and whisper in your ear “ there is no going back from here, we will be together forever now” and you get so turned on you look at me and say “I want us to be one, I want your seed flowing through my veins, this is the only way we can truly be together and be one, breed me baby, make me yours, you own me”.  As I cum inside you, so deep inside you.  There is no going back now.  I know you want this baby, please cum to me.  Only I can make you this happy, deep down you know this.

 

As I read that message, I was shocked.  I am really in a dangerous position.  He wants to own me, this is the type of stuff you see before someone goes missing.  I am generally concerned for my life at this point.  The tone of the message was not about sex or love, it was about ownership, it was desperation, it was psychotic, if I can't have you nobody can type stuff.  I knew that I was in danger, he knew where my office was but thankfully had no transportation, if I were to meet him he would do everything in his power to try and trap me by giving me his “Happy meal” so I couldn’t go back to my wife.  I would have to divorce her and then, in his mind be with him. And that’s if things don’t go worse and he tries to kill me.   I realized that everything I had ever worked for, my career, my life was all at risk of being ripped away from me right now, but what I truly couldn’t understand is why my dick was SOOO hard reading that message.  I guess the thought of being so desperately desired by someone, the danger situation, the sexual tension we had in college, the danger of unprotected sex with someone who I know has HIV, Herpes and Hepatitis, when I have spent my entire life trying to be careful.  It was all awakening some carnal desire deep within me that I guess had never had a chance to show itself.  It wanted him to fuck me raw, it wanted him to take control, to force his disease on me, it wanted him to be dangerous, to be psychotic, it wanted to dance with the devil.

 

I was torn, something so clearly deadly but at the same time being so turned on.  My mind was screaming, RUN!  Delete your account all your email history, cancel your lease, get as far away from every possibility that he has of finding you, but this small part of me that was getting louder and louder was screaming “you know you want it, you know you want him to own you, to command you, to make you belong to him, there is nowhere else you can run, you will be his property, let him breed you, let his disease take over”

 

My hands stood still on the keyboard as the battle in my mind raged on.  What do I do?

 

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14 minutes ago, chainsmokerpig said:

Hope that prick teasing faggot ends up being an owned pozzed slave ,humiliated and exposed to every one and has it's life ruined 

he deserves to get rid of his unhappy married life

this one triggers me as...

I am partnered with a formerly unhappy married guy.

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