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Misleading profiles


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Why is a bottom having an amazing cock "misleading"?

I don't, but I don't see why that's in any way "misleading". It sounds to me more like you're imposing expectations on someone you don't know and are then disappointed when they don't live up to whatever expectations you've placed on them.

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On 7/23/2024 at 2:26 PM, Bibttmmiami said:

Never understood why bottoms show off their cocks as their main pic. I don’t mind seeing  their cock, but it shouldn’t be the main focus if they’re a bottom. 

A surprising number of tops want their bottoms to be hung and/or muscular and/or gorgeous, because they want the validation of "this stud wants ME to fuck him." Quite a few such tops want nothing to do with a bottom who has a smaller cock.

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I get what you're saying.  It's like a top with too many ass pictures.   These websites are  not get to know you sites.  You have 10 seconds to make your "pitch" often with  no words, just the lead photo.  I read the profiles but others don't.  Maybe that's why I keep getting hit up by bottoms, not even verse bottoms despite my ass pix and a clear statement of position. Go figure. 

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7 hours ago, BBBxCumDumpster said:

I get what you're saying.  It's like a top with too many ass pictures.   These websites are  not get to know you sites.  You have 10 seconds to make your "pitch" often with  no words, just the lead photo.  I read the profiles but others don't.  Maybe that's why I keep getting hit up by bottoms, not even verse bottoms despite my ass pix and a clear statement of position. Go figure. 

This. I swear most guys never read the associated text. Just look at pic and hit message.

I saw it explained once, and I guess it made some sense to me, that a lot of these messages are just a fishing exercise. Throw out enough bait and hope for a bite. Unfortunately it results in a lot of messages that go nowhere.

That said, and slightly more on topic, I am a bottom and some of my pics do indeed show my cock in what I like to think of as all its glory. Most of my pics are from behind so it should be obvious the focus but a lot of guys want to see the whole package to make any kind of progress. I always make it clear that I am a bottom from the get go so there can be no mixed signals.

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Sniffles is a good one for this. I've found four types of "top" profiles.

1) Circles on the map with cock pics, and when you open the profile and read through you find in the status they are a bottom.

2) Cock-pic profiles that have "top" as profile status but then in the free-text description they say that they are "looking to suck cock and bottom".

3) Cock-pic profiles that have "top" as profile status AND  in the free-text description everything they say indicates they are a top, but when you message them during the back-and-forth they say "today I'm looking to bottom"

4) And finally the ones that are a top in every way from the initial cock-pic through the messaging back and forth, then when you actually meet they sprIng it on you that they want you to fuck them.

I've also found that most of the ones that put top and bottom in their profile to avoid the filters always seem to want to bottom that day.

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lol, yeah, totally get both sides of this discussion.

The emotional, sexual side of my brain says: "Cock pic equals Top." The rational, experienced side of my brain knows better.  

i don't think there is a simple, one size fits all answer to this query. Are there guys out there who purposely mislead, sort of a 'bait and switch' approach? Absolutely!!.  Anyone who's been living in gay hook up culture for awhile can attest to this.

But they do not represent all gay bottoms. Reality is, there are infinite variations of who and how we are, no two alike, even though we have enough similarities that we group and categorize each other. 

And profiles on gay sites? They are the bane of my existence lol. i'm one of those guys who writes a book, especially on sites that are (supposedly) geared more towards relationship than simple hookup. But again, we're all different, and even if the site is supposed to be relationship oriented, that does not mean guys looking for a hook up are not going to show up and effect the environment with hook up attitudes and approach. 

i encounter and identify a broader list of guys online profiles (and this list does not begin to be exhaustive, there is no such thing in an infinite universe, it's  just longer).  i don't see most profiles as misleading, though they are a definite category, to me, most are simply clueless or purposely hiding for one of many reasons.

1) Guys who have a 'profile' with virtually no information, just a screen name, no pics, profile, not even the little boxes like "Top, bottom, versatile" checked. i'm amazed how many of these there are. 

2) Guys who have one of the little boxes ("Top, bottom, versatile") checked, and nothing else. 

3). Guys who have one of the boxes checked and a pic

4) Guys who have no boxes checked and a face pic

5) Guys who have no boxes checked, a face pic and  a paragraph telling us in broken English that they are "serious,"  looking for 'the love of their life" or "Ltr." (i'm convinced most of these guys are scammers who all seem to follow the same script). 

6) See number 5, but with amazing, sexy pics, the proverbial bated hook.

7) Guys who have no boxes checked, and a short written profile with no pics, saying absolutely nothing of value like: "i never know what to write, ask me anything,"  (they don't seem to connect that most of us ask questions in response to some form of substance).  Or "looking for fun" (with no hint given as to what they consider "fun"). 

8).  See 7, but a box is checked, may or may not have a pic.

9) Guys with, boxes checked,  face and body pics and long descriptive profiles explaining who and how they are and what they want.

10) See 9, but everything except the face pic.

11). See 9 and 10, but the pics are not theirs or the pics are 10 years old.

 

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43 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

lol, yeah, totally get both sides of this discussion.

The emotional, sexual side of my brain says: "Cock pic equals Top." The rational, experienced side of my brain knows better.  

i don't think there is a simple, one size fits all answer to this query. Are there guys out there who purposely mislead, sort of a 'bait and switch' approach? Absolutely!!.  Anyone who's been living in gay hook up culture for awhile can attest to this.

But they do not represent all gay bottoms. Reality is, there are infinite variations of who and how we are, no two alike, even though we have enough similarities that we group and categorize each other. 

And profiles on gay sites? They are the bane of my existence lol. i'm one of those guys who writes a book, especially on sites that are (supposedly) geared more towards relationship than simple hookup. But again, we're all different, and even if the site is supposed to be relationship oriented, that does not mean guys looking for a hook up are not going to show up and effect the environment with hook up attitudes and approach. 

i encounter and identify a broader list of guys online profiles (and this list does not begin to be exhaustive, there is no such thing in an infinite universe, it's  just longer).  i don't see most profiles as misleading, though they are a definite category, to me, most are simply clueless or purposely hiding for one of many reasons.

1) Guys who have a 'profile' with virtually no information, just a screen name, no pics, profile, not even the little boxes like "Top, bottom, versatile" checked. i'm amazed how many of these there are. 

2) Guys who have one of the little boxes ("Top, bottom, versatile") checked, and nothing else. 

3). Guys who have one of the boxes checked and a pic

4) Guys who have no boxes checked and a face pic

5) Guys who have no boxes checked, a face pic and  a paragraph telling us in broken English that they are "serious,"  looking for 'the love of their life" or "Ltr." (i'm convinced most of these guys are scammers who all seem to follow the same script). 

6) See number 5, but with amazing, sexy pics, the proverbial bated hook.

7) Guys who have no boxes checked, and a short written profile with no pics, saying absolutely nothing of value like: "i never know what to write, ask me anything,"  (they don't seem to connect that most of us ask questions in response to some form of substance).  Or "looking for fun" (with no hint given as to what they consider "fun"). 

8).  See 7, but a box is checked, may or may not have a pic.

9) Guys with, boxes checked,  face and body pics and long descriptive profiles explaining who and how they are and what they want.

10) See 9, but everything except the face pic.

11). See 9 and 10, but the pics are not theirs or the pics are 10 years old.

 

Not exhaustive, but you've definitely done your research! 😄

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On 7/22/2024 at 8:20 PM, UKFFBBBtm said:

Don't you just hate looking at a profile, seeing amazing cock pics then read their a bottom.

So misleading and annoying

There's some of the bait-and-switch, for sure, but that's certainly not all of it.

Let's be real, on some sites nothing but a cock pic gets any traction at all. I think sometimes guys learn that lesson and think it's the same on every site and app and, in some locations, maybe it is. We all try and learn what works through experimentation and iteration. I've ditched these cock-gazing sites as they are primarily old technology and the user base is more about getting imagery for their wank back than hooking up.

OP, I don't think all these guys are intentionally doing a bait and switch. I think at least some of them learned what works on legacy sites and they are mentally stuck there.

I tried going with no cock pic on Sniffies, but then everyone wanted to see one before getting together. So, I put up a cock pic and, then even though my main profile pic is my ass full of dick and the others are two hungry ass pics and my profile clearly says "Submissive Bottom", I still got guys asking me to fuck them. Sigh. Then I tried a caged cock pic to send the message that I wasn't going to be topping anyone, but that reduced and narrowed the guys who I connected with unacceptably. 

In the end I deleted the hard cock pic, found one that was semi-hard, and put that on my profile to satisfy the tops who need to know what you're packing (either for a fetish or insecurity), and a head-fake to the zero reading comprehension crowd that my dick isn't going in their ass.

In the end, it's all wishful, or more accurately, dick-ful or ass-ful thinking.

No matter how diligent you are about representing yourself accurately, someone is going to be so single-minded about what they want that they completely ignore what you want and project their needs onto you. 

P.s. On tops with ass pics, put me in the 100% support column. I absolutely love hot-assed top men, so seeing an ass pic on a top's profile totally works for me. It's one of the things that encourages me to contact them. Not everything is strict position signaling. Sometimes tops just have hot asses that bottoms love to grab and pull into them while we're fucking. 

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I usually post ass and hole pics and maybe a cock shot as well (I AM vers, after all).  Inevitably, someone always focuses on my foreskinned dick.  Being Latino, that's usually the first thing someone thinks is "He must have a big uncut cock".  Spoiler:  It's average, but very pretty.

I like to admire both cocks and ass. Sometimes, I'll use both.  Other times, it's just curiosity.   I don't know WHY people do it, but I do see it quite often.

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22 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

they want the validation of "this stud wants ME to fuck him."

In the context of the fuckapps though, why would a guy advertise something he has no urge or intention to actually offer for use?  I never posted a pic of my ass, just my Cock/balls - since that's all I was offering.  Whether I have a "nice" ass or not is irrelevant.  If I were a bottom, the pics would be reversed - ass only, no c/b photos.    

The only context I can think of for advertising both front and back would be if the advertiser is versatile; happy with either position.  But then, all the phony bs associated with the apps is why I just stopped bothering with them a few years go.  

As to the validation mentioned above, what good is validation from a bunch of guys out there in the ether, that one will probably never meet in the first place? 

I don't get it. 

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