Baralvr26 Posted yesterday at 06:13 AM Report Posted yesterday at 06:13 AM Im 25 and been dating this guy for 4 years and honestly has been the most emotionally fulfill relationship but at the same time I crave sex with multiple guys and want him to join me in the sex adventures. I personally feel board with only one dick and miss the rush of going to a bathhouse or video porn theater getting loads from other men. Was anyone here ever able to go from a monogamous relationship to a sex filled open relationship while still maintaining intimacy? Like I want to have a partner who can show intimacy but also genuinely enjoys being cum hungry together. im on the verge of just ending things with my current bf because of our differences and how I feel trapped and forced to be someone else. the dating scene is already tough and a lot of the bathhouse sluts near my age either are competitive/territorial over the amount of dick they can secure or have zero ability to emotional connect with someone. sorry for the mess of pacing in this post. 😔 2 1 Quote
bareback-flipflop Posted yesterday at 06:41 AM Report Posted yesterday at 06:41 AM I totally understand you and have sympathy for your problems. I can’t open the secret box for you because I don’t know the trick. I lived with my boyfriend for more than 16 years and we not only didn’t have sex with a third, or fourth one but even with each other. I cheated on him from time to time and suffered from remorse sometimes for a year. After he had left me (not because of this) I enjoyed the free life of single sluts for almost 7 years. I tried to find someone, but I always shared the fact at the very beginning that I was not able to be in a monogamous relationship. The first date was the last date. 🤣 I accidentally found my love less than a year ago, who is thinking about this like me. We are in a strongly bonded emotional relationship with open doors (more precisely open pants and holes) and it works and we are happy. So, you know your boyfriend. You can carefully mention the opportunity to open the relationship. Probably he will be in. If he strictly monogamous, you should consider what you won and what you lose. Then I decided on keeping the relationship. Although it worked sometimes I felt awful because of cheating, lying and being afraid of meeting anyone in the sauce or the apps who can cover up my secret. Finally I was left because he didn’t feel free in our relationship 🤷🏻♂️ A slut can’t be kept in a cage for a long time because it gets away from there sooner or later. 1 1 Quote
RubberAustria Posted yesterday at 07:01 AM Report Posted yesterday at 07:01 AM 44 minutes ago, Baralvr26 said: open relationship You two must find your definition for an open relationship. It can also mean that you two go together to bathhouses/ sexclubs/ sexation- but always go home together. Maybe he is ok with that and he can also fulfill his (sexual) dreams which he certainly has. 2 Quote
Pozguyinchi Posted yesterday at 10:43 AM Report Posted yesterday at 10:43 AM I have been in a few Dom and submissive relationships where it was open for him and he would select who bred me. It didn’t work out because ultimately the sex between us stopped and I was just waiting around to get used. I think a true open relationship is hard to find. As you get older you will appreciate the fulfillment of a true loving realtime you have now. It may be worth it to stay. I have been getting used by random men for decades now and it’s not fulfilling. 2 Quote
TownTravellerMan Posted yesterday at 11:47 AM Report Posted yesterday at 11:47 AM (edited) 5 hours ago, Baralvr26 said: Im 25 and been dating this guy for 4 years and honestly has been the most emotionally fulfill relationship but at the same time I crave sex with multiple guys and want him to join me in the sex adventures. I personally feel board with only one dick and miss the rush of going to a bathhouse or video porn theater getting loads from other men. Was anyone here ever able to go from a monogamous relationship to a sex filled open relationship while still maintaining intimacy? Like I want to have a partner who can show intimacy but also genuinely enjoys being cum hungry together. im on the verge of just ending things with my current bf because of our differences and how I feel trapped and forced to be someone else. the dating scene is already tough and a lot of the bathhouse sluts near my age either are competitive/territorial over the amount of dick they can secure or have zero ability to emotional connect with someone. sorry for the mess of pacing in this post. 😔 I would say just be honest about how you feel. I wouldn't phrase it as bored with one dick though maybe just say how you crave more and want to open the relationship. Maybe it's something he wants to. You can also maybe see if he wants to try to play with others with you together as well. It's both of your relationship though so you can both define and talk about how you want it to be. I can understand completely being nervous of the dating scene if you become single afterwards. I don't know if all the bath house sluts have full territory over everything though lol. I know exactly how you feel though. I've been in a monogamous relationship in the past where after getting fucked too sometimes I wished I could have just gone out after and gotten more. The intimacy aspect of relationships are nice though. If worst comes to worst and you do end up being single it has advantages and disadvantages too. I will say that trying to surpress the urges or just stay monogamous because the other wants you to or you feel that they want you to might not lead to the best results later on. But I would start with open communication and talking and explain what you want and ask what he wants. And go from there. You never know he might surprise you. Best of luck though. I hope that he is also open and wanting to explore other things with you as well. Edited yesterday at 11:52 AM by TownTravellerMan Quote
bbpigbtm Posted yesterday at 12:33 PM Report Posted yesterday at 12:33 PM Finding the person for you is hard( and don’t always happen) i have seen friends leave true loves - thinking better coming, alot it didn’t. I also left partners who i knew was not right, but if you find a person who you bond with, ( sex fades) but love is love , stay, now i do stray , and i know my partner couldn’t handel truth, ( but he knows) so i keep that separate , life short, we gay men, do u Quote
Moderators drscorpio Posted yesterday at 12:46 PM Moderators Report Posted yesterday at 12:46 PM My first husband insisted on monogamy even though we had both been very promiscuous up until that point. After six years, we decided to try being open. He quickly discovered how much he enjoyed watching me take loads and then fucking my cummy hole. After a few years, he had to be a couple of hours away taking care of his sick mother a few days each week, and we started to play separately. Our intimacy and connection never suffered from being open although he eventually died after a stroke. 2 Quote
norefusal Posted yesterday at 04:11 PM Report Posted yesterday at 04:11 PM i've never been in this situation because for me when things go wrong it is primarily due to the emotions and not the sex. my first attempt at a OR went south not because we were fucking other guys but because my BF increasingly started making them the priority over me. they were easy and didn't expect emotions from him like i did. my second attempt was probably too little too late w my ex husband. i was happy when he agreed to open things up but once the suggestion by a hook up that we do a 3 way repulsed me i realized that i was way more angry w my husband then i even realized and that the relationship was damaged way beyond "im bored w monogamy". Quote
hungry_hole Posted yesterday at 05:51 PM Report Posted yesterday at 05:51 PM 11 hours ago, Baralvr26 said: Im 25 and been dating this guy for 4 years and... How old is he? 11 hours ago, Baralvr26 said: I personally feel board with only one dick and miss the rush of going to a bathhouse or video porn theater getting loads from other men. Most men have tons of fantasies and fetishes which cannot be fulfilled by just one man. So it's impossible for two guys who are in a relationship to depend only on each other for sexual gratification. Especially because it's many times more fulfilling that a sexual adventure be anonymous than with someone you know. If two guys like each other, enjoy each other's company, I recommend they first focus on the sex, but when emotional intimacy becomes a possibility, ignore the sex with each other because it's meant to die off, and focus on each other in every other aspect of life. I know a couple of guys who met at a sauna. They first had sex in the dark room, a totally anon encounter, and they have been married for many years. Their relationship reminds me of the British TV program "Naked Attraction". I think that every guy should care of their own "sex department" and can of course meet if the they want. Just focus on all aspects of the relationship. Quote
Baralvr26 Posted 13 hours ago Author Report Posted 13 hours ago Massive thank you to everyone that provided their thoughts on this issue and I greatly appreciate the advice!! If my account allowed me to like/upvote everyone I would’ve done so! some additional information, bf is also 25, we both have had sexually active pasts while mine was a lot more active haha. I do plan on telling him more about my feelings in wanting to try more, especially with how I am slowly trying new things such as fisting and large toy play. I truly wish that things go well between us since I have never felt closer to anyone compared to the many past relationships I’ve had. About a year ago I did try to bring up inviting others or going to sexual places like a bathhouse or event but he ended up saying an awkward maybe to the idea. He does view sex as love and can only see himself having sex with only those he cares more on an emotional level while I view sex as just a fun activity. worse case, if the relationship fails, I do have multiple friends from my sexually promiscuous days that keep trying to invite me to play, and im on the right track to get my own place to freely do what I want. I’ll try to provide any updates to this thread as the situation progresses. Let me know if you have any questions or if you would like to dm sometime! 1 Quote
Ieatcumholes Posted 1 hour ago Report Posted 1 hour ago A quote I came across yesterday seems relevant here: Quote Don't just pursue the path of fastest relief or of least effort; pursue the path of least regret. I'm one of those men who doesn't necessarily feel the need to watch you have sex with other men, but I would definitely enjoy the fruits of your labor, as it were. 😍 1 Quote
atlfukbud Posted 1 hour ago Report Posted 1 hour ago originally married to women, my husband and I (over 25 year together) made the transition from Mono to “together 3-ways” to eventually fully open and even have had some poly experiences. We were fully monogamous for 4 years and had tons of sex (in our 20s and early 30s) — we happened into a 3 way and after crying about it — admitted that it was HOT and we’d be open to it again as long as it was “physical only” — we have had and continue to have amazing sex, but we have always worked to put our primary relationship first (time, romance, care and finances) — Today we share a bottom boyfriend (he lives with us), we all 3 fuck or date whoever we want on the side, but generally speaking the only rule is ‘we support each other’s happiness and take care of each other above anyone else' Quote
Recommended Posts