PozTalkAuthor

I had missed this one! These are stories I love: where the neg (naive) guy becomes -biologically- bonded with an experienced gifter. Well, they have much more than a ring: a golden wearable jewel can be stolen but not what your man shares with you through sex and resides in your blood cells forever.

I remember a guy here who met a married older poz couple and he got pozzed by them in 2021... He told all his story here. Now I forgot his nickname. Yes, I have lurked here since a long time before joining with this profile

I suppose it was the final part, how could it continue?

Looking for it too, maybe I missed it!

Versatile? Well, if I must label my sexuality I'd call it "side-verse". Having had experiences both with males and females, I've learnt to use my whole body both actively and passively. Tongue and fingers come much before penis and anus stimulation, my value in sexuality is to explore my partner's sensations and limits, together with mine. I'm honestly annoyed about a sexual relationship where body contact is considered just an introduction to achieve the penetration event. Penetration is _one_. Then, we are all to explore! Ear play, nipple play, armpit or foot play... God or whoever created us, gave us a body. Let's use it! I want to be honest with myself and you: all kinds of body explorations have been something I've learnt after I got HIV. Fear to transmit, forced me to explore something different. What my ex (the abuser) did, was introducing me to know "rimming world" better. Nationality? More than the country, the kind of education is important; how difficult it was to convince my partner about rimming, and fingering a man's ass -mine-. He said "ladies do not want fingers to go too deep"... Culture and education do the most of the job.

My psycho-therapist I attended when I had to deal both with long-term relationship breakup and with HIV, told me I could not think to love others, if I didn't start loving and accepting myself. HIV included. Damn if he was right, he was so fucking right! It only took years and years for me to embrace what "accept your HIV" really meant! I've managed to really feel what love means, when together with my virus I accepted my sex fantasies and stopped feeling wrong with them! So, I have started to dare a little, love means trust. And for now, I've been lucky.

Oh fuck, it was long time I didn't go to church!!! LOL! I was waiting for the appointment and here it was, double reward! Anyway, there's Will who thinks he hadn't converted anyone on his own, but his brother (Jay) is still keeping the secret!

The fairy tale idea of "soulmates", "our half", "mr. right" and so on, have ruined our approach to relationship in general, this is what I think! My first ex for instance, he's been a drug addict for years and he recovered, finding me and being my very first sexual partner made him feel in heaven, then 11th September 2001 came, Twin Towers attack and all that stuff... Many matters linked to points of view about this tragedy, led him to feel excluded at work and among friends, he had just me but I could do nothing as he started chems again. Drugs have destroyed our relationship but, know what, we are still very good friends, now he's sober again. The others, one died and the last I don't want even to see his photo around... And this one? What you said about trust, communication, knowing (and loving) ourselves, started much before I even suspected we could ever become a couple. He has been, and is, the person I can trust most. The first man to know I am HIV positive, for example; before my biological family. If I think the former drug-addict guy is my very first love? Yes, I do. If I still love him? Yes, I do, not in the couple/romance way though. When I was with my ex (the abuser), he never liked him and I didn't listen as I thought about him being somehow jealous. No, he was in "former drug addict mode" and attempted to warn me that the person in question was an abuser, an alcoholic, but I was caught by the, let's call it, blindness of love and "I'll save your life, I'll make you change". Oh gosh, you, 31 years with a female hiding your real sexuality... It could have been not so easy for you! I had a short flirt with a girl when I was a teen but I didn't really manage to make it last, my heart brought me elsewhere. To MUSIC, and GUYS! These were times of full AIDS emergency so music was my only love then.

Personal experience makes no statistics, but I can share mine. I've had 3 long term stories with guys in those 27 years, the fourth is the current one and we just celebrated our first year but... Despite being a fanatic computer geek and professional, I've never used (and liked) dating apps! Maybe it's a prejudice but I have always considered them as OK for sexual adventures but not for something more important - a friendship or more. Then, I met one of my boyfriends into a forum about books, I found my best friend searching for information on TV shows and encountered her blog, the guy who gave me HIV was introduced by my first ex who insisted on "if you fall from the horse, jump on it again". My last and worst ex, it was a random meeting you know one friend meets another and another more! My current love... He's been my co-worker and friend for 12 years! And our affair started after a very long confidence - I'm convinced he has loved me for long but always denied his real sexual desires, marrying a woman and betraying her with other girls day after day. To be honest, after I got HIV from the serial cheater, I fell in that phylosophy about "gay men are like this. Promiscuous. Forget monogamy and get laid with whoever, love but get sex freedom as a value". With that I met my abuser who I was in open relationship with, but he's used me in many ways! Romantic relationship with the current guy, was completely unexpected and... Unexpressed! He's continued for months saying "we're doing something wrong, I shouldn't"... I shouldn't, nothing! Now it's going ahead. No projects of living together at moment, we have our own spaces but we're currently monogamous as we feel it's the condition making us more comfortable with ourselves. Well, I'd be stupid saying "love comes when you do not even expect", it's a pre-built sentence as "gays are promiscuous, accept it and give up with love"... Only thing I can tell you is that everyone has their way of living. If I believe in love found via apps... To be honest, no, as in the apps you can be anyone. If this can help you, I came here with just the writing and fun purpose. And found both good sexting buddies, and even some guys I confront myself in serious topic. Not calling it friendship but nothing can be excluded in life! I just say don't give up and don't listen to people suggesting you to. Hugs. Here for confront if needed.

I love it too, waiting for more! I bet he wakes up with fuck flu...

may I say I hate incels... Those are worthless trash and deserve to be used as dolls by real alpha (poz) men!

Several times a week! Despite having a satisfying sex life I find also enjoyable to have some time for self pleasure - it means penis stimulation but also anal stimulation; finding it important as only knowing yourself you can share your sexual needs with partner.

Oh, LOL!!! I'm not a philosopher at all! 🤣 Sorry for your loss, unfortunately death is something we never consider, till it knocks our door! If only it could take assholes away from earth! Well, to people saying "love is an illusion" I just reply "talk for yourself" now but those became my feelings when so-called "mr. right" gave me HIV by cheating on me continuously. In that background I lost all my self-esteem and it took years to get it back! Now I've changed my prospect and give higher priority to myself. I'm partnered (happily partnered) and do not ask myself too many questions. At almost 50 years old, it's time I live life as it is without chasing ideals. Is my guy the love of life, will it last just some time? We don't know the future, and with this way of thinking we're going to celebrate our first year together. I understood what "self respect" was, as soon as I found myself in my current man's arms and felt safe, loved, as I haven't felt for long. Not by the man who lived into my house and that I called "boyfriend" before. Well, to make it short, I kicked my abusive ex out and changed the door lock, one week after! And admitted to myself I could have done it just after covid lockdown emergency. Self esteem and respect have not an expiry date. Yes, true, the sooner you find them the sooner you enjoy life. But I can say it aloud, Breeding Zone community has contributed to help me in many ways - even without me asking for advices every second.

I agree with the original poster's thoughts. Totally. I know posts you're talking about, and instinctively I'm quite sad for people with no self-respect because I'm aware it's the result of a world where homosexuality is treated as something disgusting - and yes, there are also many hetero men getting excited by degrading and women who enjoy being degraded. What I think about it, I always compare it to sweets or non-healthy food. It's obvious that, generally, fried stuff and/or sweets, chocolate and so on, taste so good. But a life in this way means self harm! Sexually, I always say it's matter of understanding the huge difference between fantasy and desire. Fantasy is made of exaggeration, transgression, to break boundaries. But real life is other thing! I heard many men getting excited to have their tops spit in their face as a degradation sign, well, I would never allow someone to do that, I'd never allow a stranger to call me slut as, currently, I do not look for that kind of experience! Then with my long-term partner I do and say whatever but it's another background. The author also said about being "psycho", well, I don't think so. When you come from a background where you feel refused even by your family, it's very hard to feel self-respect unless you find the reason to, yourself! I personally fell in the arms of an abuser because I had no self-esteem, because the world (even gays in my area) made me believe that "gay men are in this way, accept it!" and "this way" means "love is an illusion, be promiscuous and proud of it" It's a matter of models we choose, I think. We shouldn't refer to "models" as every person has their own life and background, but it's really hard to feel self-respect in these days, where the world wants us to be more perfect and less humans. In general. Yes, we must help ourselves to be human, with everything it means. Including kinks (even extreme ones) and desires. They're ours, and we must make peace with everything.