GermanFucker

I have no problems being open about my sexual history. Except for HIV and HepC I've had everything on your list. A thousand or so bareback encounters will do that. And I've dealt with every bug swiftly and I've informed my sexual partners the best I could. I've also had crabs and scabies.

Low Viral Load?

That would be an autoimmune reaction. Cancer is more like cell replication that has gotten out of control, suffocating other healthy cells. Viruses, too, induce a forced change, they reprogram cells to do their bidding, often with even worse side effects. Herpes viruses can e.g. lead to cervical cancer in women. Also, background radiation, toxins in nature, heck, even the oxygen we breathe cause cells to degenerate. A working immune system is the thing that keeps the balance by destroying those cells whose DNA has been damaged. By being immunocompromised / -deficient over a long period of time, more of these cells get the chance to do harm. Of course antiretrovirals cause mutations. So does the alternative - namely not taking them or waiting until the last minute. We know waiting too long causes additional health problems in the short to medium term. So it would be ludicrous to assume that there won't ALSO be long-term effects 10-30 years from now.

What you seem to forget: A working immune system kills off defective and malignant cells on a daily basis. A compromised immune system lets more of these slip through, allowing them to eventually turn into cancer. The question is not: Do antiretrovirals increase the cancer risk compared to a HIV-neg person. That's irrelevant. The question is: Do they cause more or less cancer than not going on meds when having HIV.

No. Other than, say, 16-year-olds, practically all 13-year-olds are still children psychologically. Yes, they do start to experiment, but who would want to get involved with that annoying chaos that is early puberty? Only a pedophile could find that interesting or sexually attractive. So no, hell no.

If I read it correctly, he wasn't. What surprises me is that someone who is usually safe would ask such a question on THIS forum. As to the initial question: Asking around on internet forums doesn't really help you. Get tested. It is very unlikely that it is HIV. Most flus are just that: flus. So go into the test situation expecting to be neg, which should calm your nerves. Also: It's probably better to get an anonymous test instead of asking the family doctor. But get tested. Knowing is always better than not knowing. Also: If you were poz, you are it whether you get tested or not. Testing gives you options. But most of all: don't worry. It's gonna be fine.

It's indeed very common. It usually takes a few weeks for the brain to adapt to the medication and it usually gets a bit better after that. It might still be hard though (pun intended, antidepressants usually rather help the errection). I found that relaxation helps to "let go". I.e. taking away the pressure, discussing beforehand that one partner might not cum and both being ok with that. When close to climaxing not intensifying the rhythm, i.e. instead of cumming during the hardest part of the fuck, cum during the slow and relaxed part of the sex.

But you don't know if you're neg or not. You could just as well be poz and a slow progressor. Ironically, e.g. getting a bad cough every year can be a sign of an agressive immune system while not getting sick at all can be a sign of a compromised immune system, which doesn't put up much of a fight. The problem with assumptions is that many people just draw the wrong conclusions. You just don't know until you know. This is the internet age, you don't need to go to a doctor to get an HIV test. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to attack you for not getting tested. It's your choice. But then I wouldn't put "neg, recently tested" in my profile. If I choose not to get tested, I should be able to stand by that choice and admit: I don't really know my status. Real men don't live in a phantasy world. Man up, face reality - either get tested or be real with other guys.

Used rubbers, fresh rubbers, rubber dildos, it's all the same: JUST SAY NO! To me bareback means fresh cum and skin on skin action. If I see you playing with rubbers - used or new - I'll probably walk away. One excpetion would be when I have a threesome with one of my buddys and we're trying to get a save only guy to bareback. But that's more or less it.

Probably because of this: http://tinyurl.com/3l8na You can have the forum software censor words that sound like links to filesharing sites.

I disagree. What you said works great with submissive bottoms - and sure, I do it myself. There are a lot of submissive bottoms out there, probably even a majority. BUT not everyone can be won over with this approach. So the first rule would be: 1.) Know your bottoms. Learn to read guys. Many are submissive. Those you can smack around and tell them what to do. Others go for latin-style passion. Inexperienced bottoms need an understanding top that makes them feel comfortable. 2.) Keep it interesting. Even if you start out slow, you can progress to jack-hammer. Vary the intensity. Fuck a bottom just a bit harder than he can take, then let off to give him hope just before assaulting his ass again. A mechanical in-and-out soon gets boring. The trick is to a.) make the bottom feel your power so that he knows who's in charge and b.) keep him guessing guessing what will come next time (e.g. suprise him by bringing a top buddy over, fuck him silly for hours, angry fucking etc.). That way he will come back for more. 3.) An awesome top is all about fucking and seeding. Nothing else. If your mind is on pozzing, on drugs, on anything else, that might work with like-minded fetishists (ever seen internet videos of guys on drugs fucking? They might feel great. But it's usually not a pretty sight for others.). But if you are completely in the moment, it is the sex itself that becomes mind-blowing. That way you are a great top for all. But the most important thing of all: 4.) Be a real man. I'm no top model. But I could fuck ten guys a day even though I don't live in New York or LA. The secret is: Most guys just want to be fucked by a manly man. It's all about the attitude (I think it was called "the strong, silent type" on the Sopranos).

Daddy-Son scenes are not my thing. I also find that merely descriptive nicknames (cumbucket) work great for bottoms, but not for tops (seed planter?) Maybe because it can be fun to objectify a bottom - but that simply does not work for tops. I find that the best nicknames for tops are those that endearingly stroke the top's ego, like "stud" or "hunk". But my absolute favorite is "killer". One of my bottom fuck buddys always calls me that. Makes me cum twice as hard.

Bareback sex parties (private or public). 100% success rate - but then I wouldn't go to just any party just because it's bareback. I usually go because of recommendations or because I'm into the guys on the guest list. Saunas. 90% bareback. If it's well attended I usually find some guys to my liking. The local highway rest area. 80% success rate. Most guys bareback, but there's the occasional day when there's absolutely noone interesting to find if you're not into the 55+ crowd. ABS / porno cinemas. Hit and miss (i.e. 50-60%). Often leave without having fucked anyone. But sometimes you get to seed a straight bodybuilder type there and that makes up for a lot . General gay social networks / dating sites - using a bareback-specific profile. Works great for me (70+ %).... I just like the boy next door type that wants to get fucked by a bad boy. Bareback websites. Ironically not much luck there (5-15% success rate?) - except for the guys I know anyways that are also on the site. Otherwise lots of guys just looking for drugs or indifferent sluts.

Yeah, I like the smell of piss and cum (the writing on the walls and the glory holes, too) - but not that of diarrhea. Yuck! So it depends on the type of restroom. College restrooms are usually great fun. Airport toilets - not so much.

It's only girly if you kiss like a girl. If two guys kiss like men it can be a force of nature... (gasping, breathless, slammed against the wall). I think an important aspect is: Many guys just can't kiss. That's not meant as an insult to our gender. Just a statement of fact: one can't be good at everything. And many men are lousy kissers. If the other guy knows how to kiss, it's great fun and I enjoy it a lot. But not with everyone. To me, sex should be playful, a bit of an adventure. That can mean turning a guy on by kissing - or just the opposite: intentionally not kissing, macho play etc. I never enjoyed purely mechanical sex much.

No. Never. I seed asses. I don't get fucked.

I think it's the other way round: Guys with an insatiable libido are more likely to end up poz

If you take a sober look at it, there is a certain logic to cheating. Men are men: They are both possesive and promiscuous - at least statistically speaking a lot more than women. That means: If I'm in a relationship with a woman, it's likely that she is faithful. If I'm in a relationship with a man, it's likely that he wants to fuck around, too. Some have open relationships. But that only works if you're not posessive. In reality most men want to fuck around themselves but have a faithful partner. The only possible solution is cheating: You have the sex but your partner's ego remains intact - and vice versa. And you can more easily justify it knowing that your partner is a men - and all men are pigs. Because of that the penalty for cheating is usually far steeper with heterosexual couples, especially when the tought of starting a family is involved. Gays are less likely to break up over "just sex", a few days in the dog house and that's usually it.

Of course you can. As far as the CCR5 delta 32 mutation is concerned, yes there are tests. AFAIK common gene tests like the one offered by 23andme.com include HIV resistance and progression likelyhood. A specific test ONLY for CCR5 might be even cheaper than the 300 dollars they demand. Getting tested is the only way to be somewhat sure, and not even that's 100% (e.g. if you have only one copy of the gene, there is still a risk). Otherwise I wouldn't bet on being immune, I've seen guys get it after 7, 10, 12 years of fucking bareback. Sometimes staying neg just means sheer dumb luck.

AFAIK the study was done with more or less monogamous heterosexual couples. Also the conclusions / predictions relied on mathematic modelling. So while its conclusions are certainly relevant, it doesn't apply 100% to the promiscuous gay community. As you pointed out correctly, other STDs can increase viral load and risk of transmission. The best summary of the study I read is: THE RISK IS NOT ZERO BUT COMPARABLE TO OTHER GENERAL LIFE RISKS (car accident, cancer, broken condom while practising safer sex etc.). If both partners are reasonably careful with regard to other STDs (getting tested regularly, effective treatment, no sex during STDs) and the poz partner adheres to his meds schedule, the risk is so very, very low, that the neg partner shouldn't worry much about it. Simple: Get tested. Everything else is just idle talk. I have to disagree with poznative: If he is truly undetectable there's a really good chance (certainly more than 5%) that nothing happened . On the other hand, if a guy wanted to cut my anus with a razorblade I wouldn't just take his word for it that he's undetectable. So it's a question that noone can answer for you. If you want to know, please get tested.

Several hundreds... lost count long ago.

Oh yeah! Agree!

So it seems that in the end it actually was a good thing to talk about it.

Well, if you're able to buy a luxury condo, you making something like 6 figures a year. So one could still feed oneself on a third of that. Money is only an issue if you care about having stuff. So the question is: Is he a materialistic kind of guy. If he isn't the income difference alone isn't prohibitive. You'd need to find a balance between the two extremes of one guy always paying for everything and often staying at home because one guy can't afford going out. But it can work. If he's only after a comfy live... well, the other guys have already issued a warning.

A guy who's cheating on his boyfriend will freak because of a syphillis which can easily be cured. Imagine you just rented an appartment together and made plans for the next decade and now your bf has proof that you're not only unfaithful but also don't care much about safer sex. So actually I wouldn't make an issue out of HIV status: The other guy knows that you (bbzh) are poz. He knows what kind of risk he's taking (a miniscule one at best) and should he against the odds test poz he will probably learn how to deal with it. At least that's much easier than for example also dealing with having infected your boyfriend whom you swore monogamy. That can fuck you up quite a bit more. IF EVERYONE IS FULLY INFORMED AND ACTING ACCORDING TO HIS OWN FREE WILL, HIV STATUS SHOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE. So the question if I would date him would have nothing to do with HIV. There are other aspects to consider: - The guy has problems with being faithful. So if your ideal is an open relationship and you're willing to either grant each other certain freedoms or to overlook some fucking around, it might work. If you wanna marry this guy and want to have him all to yourself, i.e. if you expect him to change for you, that could be tricky. - Then there is the honesty issue: It seems that he didn't tell you back then that he had a boyfriend and he of course was dishonest to his boyfriend. That's no problem if all you intend to do is casual fucking. Beyond that the question is: What makes you believe you can trust him enough to build a relationship with him? - He seems to lack some emotional sensitivity. You have to define what you're looking for in him and whether this could be an issue. - He hurt you. Intentionally or not, the question is, whether you can truly forgive or forget. Or whether this will boil up again as soon as you have your first argument. In the end the heart wants what the heart wants. So does the dick. You'll have to do what you'll have to do and don't think there's much some guys on the internet could say to change your mind.