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GermanFucker

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  1. GermanFucker
    Getting HIV from oral sex only is very, very rare. Also because the absolute numbers are so low, their statistical significance is sometimes debatable (e.g. because guys will rather admit to unsafe oral sex than unsafe anal receptive intercourse, especially those who had sex outside of a relationship). Realistically it's only possible when a number of factors are against you (e.g. open wounds or a syphillis chancre in your mouth and a top with an extremely high viral load). Other than that I (personally) wouldn't worry at all. I mean I could also worry about getting hit by another car while driving. Possible? Yes. But not likely, so I rather enjoy driving a car.
  2. GermanFucker
    I am truly sorry for your loss. What really counts in life is loving your friends and being loved in return.
  3. GermanFucker
    Totally agree. A towel slung around the waist is usually the best option. It's egalitarian, but you can show off your body. It also shows appreciation for the bathhouse culture. Being totally naked is a vaild option, BUT it usually screams "desperate bottom". Carrying the towel over your shoulder works much better, especially for tops who want to present their dicks. Leather and rubber is best used in moderation. Honestly, street boots are an absolute no-go. Many guys are barefoot (Flip-Flops are like condoms: You can use them if you want to show you're a pussy). If you step on my toes with heavy boots IN A FUCKING SAUNA, I will knock you out. Moderation means: you should show your skin, because that's what a sauna / bathhouse is about: Sweat and skin-on-skin contact. Covering complete regions of your body might make others feel uncomfortable or self-concious. Again: A bathhouse is about being equally naked and creating an atmosphere of manliness, physicality and sex together. It's not a fucking catwalk to show off your stuff, so rubber and leather should highlight your body, not hide it. Cock rings are a personal choice, if you're fit, potent and healthy, they can be fun to play with (the slight numbness makes you last longer and the orgasm is more gradual, not like a breaking levee), but are by no means really necessary. But you will meet many guys in saunas who wear cock rings because they have - often due to their drug use - problems maintaining an errection (said spongy, half-hard kind). My recommendation: Do what you normally do. If you don't need / enjoy them elsewhere, you won't need / enjoy them at a bathhouse.
  4. GermanFucker
    To me it's romantic in the sense that romanticism is all about the gesture, whereas true love is about caring for each other. The reality is: Most poz guys who truly and deeply love their boyfriends wouldn't want to poz them. We've all seen the complaints on the forum: "My boyfriend won't infect me....". Like parents wanting a better life for their children, love is about wanting the best for your partner. And while most poz guys live full lives without much problems, there's always a chance that your partner might be one of the few percent for whom HIV either means a neverending string of health problems or, even worse, untimely death. Even if can bare that risk for myself, I couldn't bare being the one who did it to my partner (all hypothetically speaking, of course). So more than all of the above it's just counterintuitive and weird.
  5. GermanFucker
    Fortunately the law in Germany today is quite sensible when it comes to cruising. Sex in public per se is not a crime, molesting or offending others by having sex in public is, however. So there is no incentive for the police to try and entrap you, because there would be no legal case, as no third party would be harmed. Even if the police caught two guys fucking at a popular cruising spot in the woods (albeit miles away from civilization), they would usually keep it at a bit of posturing and telling the guys to piss off, because it would be very to argue that their intention was to offend an innocent third party. If you got caught under the gym showers or a family called the police because they ran across you having sex at a highway rest area, well, then you're screwed. But that's pretty much your own fault. I live pretty close to a very popular cruising area in the woods just off the autobahn. I've seen police patrol the area. They knew guys were having sex there, but there was never a dramatic arrest. I think their biggest concern was littering, because the deer in the area might choke on rubbers.
  6. GermanFucker
    I'd say that 50% of all Germans speak English pretty well, 85% speak some English, so you will usually get along fine and be able to make yourself understood and if not there's usually someone around who is proficient enough to translate between English and German.
  7. GermanFucker
    If you fuck his ass raw and show openness to being fucked yourself, it is sort of implied that he gets to fuck you without protection as well. There are two ways around this: a.) Talk about the rules beforehand. I'd say your chances are about 50/50. Some guys will find a double standard a turn-on, others will put up with using a condom and still enjoy the raw fucking they get from you. On the other hand many guys will understand sexual versatility as sex between equals and will not put up with your demands. You can either take this chance or: b.) Stick to one role, i.e. either raw top or safe bottom during one session. Also, that way noone will gossip about you.
  8. GermanFucker
    The answer is simple: Get tested for everything including HIV. As stated before, you never how your body reacts to HIV. For some it takes twenty years to become acutely life-threatening, for others twenty months. The only way to know is to know your status and to monitor the progression of the disease. Also keep in mind that as long as HIV spreads to your body unchecked, it will do damage. Going on meds with 10 t-cells left because you're sick as a dog is a terrible idea, your heart health will suffer, your cancer risk and the overall likelyhood of medical problems will increase. Knowledge will give you the chance to start meds in time. Every guy I know who avoided getting tested slapped his head afterwards because of how stupid he was. A few moments of your time and a few drops of blood are not worth the trouble (hospitalization etc.) that not getting tested causes.
  9. GermanFucker
    Why does that surprise you? The times when only HIV+ guys barebacked are long gone. The 25-year-olds (or younger) of today have never really witnessed the AIDS crisis. There's a whole new generation that doesn't even think of condoms. I know only a few guys will call themselves barebackers, because "uuuuh, it's naughty", but most will fuck unprotected anyway. So I wouldn't even speak of opportunistic barebackers, but rather "men being men". I frankly love that new situation. When I advocate honesty and openness and speak out against stealthing, it's exactly because I don't want the young guys to go back to using condoms - ever.
  10. GermanFucker
    Of the guys who identify themselves as (promiscuous) barebackers, that number sounds somewhat realistic. That is guys who deliberately choose to bareback, are open about their preferences and repeatedly / regularly create situations that lead to bareback sex (e.g. frequenting bareback sex parties, having explicit online profiles, membership of bareback sex sites / communities etc., specifically seeking other barebackers when trying to hook up). If you define barebackers also as those that sometimes bareback, I would put it at maybe 20%. I.e. guys that do not specifically / exclusively seek bareback sex, but can be persuaded to have bareback sex. Those can be guys that in the heat of the moment rather have unprotected sex than no sex at all. Or guys that while they do not seek bareback sex per se create circumstances which give them an excuse not to use condoms (e.g. drinkers). Or guys that will usually forgo condoms within a certain social or age group (i.e. "he's under 25, he must be neg", "he's bi like me", "he's from that same small town as I"). If you use the loosest definition of "barebacker", i.e. also including those who normally insist on condoms, but will go raw under very special circumstances (typically guys who fall in love head over heels and do away with rubbers after three weeks) or only with a very select few friends / fuckbuddies, i'd say it's probably 10% or less. But I'm using German numbers here (About .1 of the population living with HIV, so about 5% or so of all gay men), I realize that HIV prevalence is much (5 times or more) higher in Switzerland and the US (however, especially in the US it's also a lot higher for straight men and women). If I remember the statistics correctly there are some (probably northern rural) states in the US with comparable numbers to Germany. But if you assume that 20% of all gays in big cities in the US are poz, the numbers shift upwards accordingly.
  11. GermanFucker
    If you're HIV neg or on a well adjusted HIV medication regime, Herpes is not a big problem. It's only really infectious if you have an outbreak, i.e. when just got it or once from time to time (in my case every couple of years in times of extreme stress) afterwards. During that time, if you have red itching sores, you will have to disclose or better abstain from sex. It's only one (to max. two) weeks and you can take medication like aciclovir which can lessen the symptoms and shorten the duration. Other than that, don't worry much about it.
  12. GermanFucker
    Even though you identify socially as straight, that doesn't make you straight. I means you are a bisexual man who lives a mostly straight lifestyle. Just like there are bisexual men living a gay lifestyles. A "straight", i.e. truly heterosexual man, is sexually fullfilled by sex with women. He doesn't cruise the internet for gay bareback websites. More importantly he wouldn't really understand the "tell tale signs", because his brain isn't wired that way. Straight (sometimes with the addition of "bi-curious") is a label many bisexual guys appropriate to show the world that while they enjoy sex with dudes, they are still real men (heck, I'm the guy that everyone in my apartment building asks when they need a toolbox or a jumper cable) - however, scientifically it's not correct. And it's a premise that sells porn. But I would never mistake any of the Chaosmen models for heterosexual. The scenes would be a lot more akward then. We need to distinguish between the label some guys use to describe their (life-) STYLE and the underlying reality. It's the same with "skaters". You might identify with the culture and have all the kit. But if you can't skate, with all due respect, you are not a skater.
  13. GermanFucker
    None of that really applies to me. It's not that I don't like being a bottom (I tried it twice as a teenager and kinda hated it), it's that the whole concept feels wrong and foreign to me. It's just absurd. I identify as a top not because it's a role I play or because of some coincidental attribute like HIV-seropositivity, but because it simply is what I am. I am a top because I'm a top. It's the way God made me. A contributing factor certainly is that I am a natural alpha (natural in the sense that while some other guys constantly need to assert their dominance and masculinity, I am secure in my masculinity, confident of my physical prowess and don't feel threatened intellectually). Don't get me wrong - I'm collegial and able to share (I love comradery amongst tops). But I am subordinate to noone. The coolest versatile guys I know are usually the easy-going type. The just do what they are in the mood for, they top or bottom because they feel like and / or because the other guy has something about him that rubs them in a certain way.
  14. GermanFucker
    Totally agree. I can easily forgive accidents. If I like you it's no biggie and we'll hook up again. But I still hate the smell and mention so beforehand. If it's clear that the other guy lied and / or just didn't care, he can go fuck off. Sex should be about both guys having fun, not one guy satisfying his needs at the expense of the other. If you don't want to clean out, find someone else. Just like I will find someone if your preferences don't match mine.
  15. GermanFucker
    they give me migrane, thus killing my boner and ending sex. a slight whiff is ok, but if I really sniff them, it's pretty much over. so i'm totally ok with bottoms using them, but please don't spill or hold them under my nose.
  16. GermanFucker
    In short: yes, but it's very rare. It's estimated that around 1 in 500 patients are so called elite controllers. It's also rare as these guys because of their genetic make-up usually don't get infected (not immune, but highly resistant to HIV).
  17. GermanFucker
    I think this is one question everyone has to decide for himself. Everyone should do what feels right TO HIM. I myself feel cheapened by being offered money so I won't fuck with guys that want to pay me for seeding them. But then again one of my best fuckbuddies - who has a great job, much better pay than mine - likes it. Not because he needs the money (he strictly spends it on fun, it doesn't go into his normal account) but because it's slutty and kinky. I think a good rule of thumb is: If you choose to accept money without being a professional whore, you a.) shouldn't have to rely on it as income (e.g. to make rent because you moved into a bigger appartment) and b.) shouldn't compromise your usual standards, even for a nice sum. Because that's when you turn into a whore - and if you don't want that, maybe then it's time to quit.
  18. GermanFucker
    Yeah, sure. I wouldn't count colds, stomach flus, noroviruses etc. That's just life and goes away after a ten days. I don't fuck when I don't feel like it, but I make plans, so no, those don't really take me out of the game. STDs do, especially e.g. syphillis. Other than that I think the last time I was out of the game completely for several weeks was a sports injury: smashed up face, multiple sprains (arms, hands etc.), body covered in bruises and haematomas. Everything just hurt, especially movement / activity.
  19. GermanFucker
    A lot depends on how one's health was before one first started meds. As long as you don't do therapy, the virus will build more and more reservoirs in your body, which will become active again once you go off meds. Be cautious, especially if you had AIDS before. 1 or 2 days sounds too short, 1 or 2 weeks sounds more realistic, at least according to: http://www.pnas.org/content/96/26/15109.full.pdf Other than that, Matias47 makes sense: IMHO a stupid strategy on so many levels. I wholeheartedly agree. Not because I'm a prude, but because I enjoy barebacking so very much and want to keep doing it for the next 40 years without fear or shame.
  20. GermanFucker
    Realistically as a 20 year old you will be experimenting a lot over the next few years and evolve sexually. Such an arrangement might work as stopgap measure for a few weeks / months. But over time it is quite likely you will see such a commitment as an obstacle and having sex with the guy as a chore. Or you will find yourself on a track to slavedom that you wouldn't have chosen otherwise. If you want to go for it, I recommend a.) not making yourself totally dependent on the other guy (by moving ALL your stuff in etc.), b.) clearly define the rules, otherwise "whenever" can mean INSTEAD of a date with a guy you were looking forward to, c.) have an exit strategy ready for whenever your priorities change. Personally I would recommend sharing an appartment with other likeminded sluts instead of above mentioned arrangement. Real freedom instead of exchanging your parents for a "daddy", one dependency for another. But it's your life to do with as you please.
  21. GermanFucker
    Not wanting to sound snarky, but: What's your point? EVERY man wants to fuck bareback, it's mainly a question of creating the right circumstances to have doubters go for it.
  22. GermanFucker
    On BBC3. For those who get BBC (in the UK or e.g. via Satellite, I think there's also streaming, but you probably have to use a British IP adress), I think it's worth a look. I got the feeling that many barebackers just see their own scene. The program is about an STI clinic and shows how young people nowadays really don't use protection anymore. It has a safer sex message, but it's not overly preachy about it. It rather shows boys and girls being stupid, which is often rather endearing than a warning as intended. On the other hand it shows the reality of STIs down to anal swabs in graphic detail. IMHO it's good to see that everyone likes unsafe sex. It's the new normal, it's not the early nineties anymore, where only poz men had bareback sex amongst each other.
  23. GermanFucker
    I think after the last post the point is pretty much moot. However shouldn't the thread title be changed to "I'm poz dating a poz guy" ?
  24. GermanFucker
    Too young.
  25. GermanFucker
    Maybe it's true that depravity craves innocence to feed on, but I do like them young and energetic. However far more important than the number of years is the amount of life that's still left in a guy. Young jocks are my favorite, but farm workers in their 30s or mid-fourties sportsmen are fun too. Drug addicts with dead eyes are not my thing, not even when they're eighteen. Neither are middle-aged walking skeletons.

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