Ultimately It's for the Top to decide how he fucks me, but I used to have regular Top who got to know me well and learnt how to push my limits. I thoroughly enjoyed both the pain and the pleasure and he would edge me for ages with me begging to be allowed to cum. He also used to wank me to orgasm and then have pleasure in fucking me post orgasm. It takes time and energy to build up a relationship like this. It was good while it lasted! To answer your original question, I prefer a Top to be cruel, but be aware of what he is doing and how far he can push. Despite the fantasy, we all quite rightly have limits and if the Top completely ignores your limits, you won't being going back for a re-match!