phillygwm
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Great point. Nobody is horny ALL the time. Maybe you just came. Maybe there are issues at work or with family or finances. Those tend to squeeze out your bandwith for sex. If it's one of those things that ebbs and flows, that's absolutely normal for all of us and you can usually determine what's getting in your head.
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For me, especially with oral where the bottom is in control, I don't WANT you to give up your decision making power. You've sucked a lot of dicks and what works for one guy won't work for another. I'll give you guidance (usually a moan when something feels good.) But unless I know you're inexperienced and need explicit coaching, I generally won't TELL you what to do; use your judgement. Even with anal, you have tricks. I'm not a necrophile; don't just lay there and play dead (yes, this happens!)
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I try to reinforce that when a guy gets me off especially well. Every load feels good, of course, but some are a lot better than others. When it's great, I'll say something like "Your ass/mouth seems like it's specially molded for my cock." Even a cumdump likes knowing he's appreciated. Of course, the ultimate compliment is if I ask for your number and we play again. Even if it's "meh" I'll usually mumble a perfunctory "thanks" as I withdraw.
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It might be a physiological issue. Low testosterone is one possibility, meds are another (i.e. anti-depressants etc.) I'm not a bottom but interest in sex affects gays, straights, tops, and bottoms. I had prostate cancer and for years after didn't have a strong sex drive. Turns out my T was low. I can't take T supplements because it might aggravate my PC. But you could, if that's your issue. I'd start with bloodwork and go from there. Assuming that's normal, I'm not sure how you "motivate" yourself; maybe a gay friendly therapist?
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It's funny. When I've been with black guys, I've been asked more than a few times to get into race play. Sometimes the guy wants to dominate (which is rarely my thing.) Once, I had a guy who wanted to be my antebellum house slave, "yes, massa" and all. I rolled with it because he sucked a mean dick and, outside the role playing, he was a good guy. But role playing (whether racial, dad/son, rapist, whatever) really isn't my thing. It's only happened one other time: An Indian guy who wanted to do race play which kind of stumped me. Like what does that even entail? Was I supposed to call him for tech support? 🤣
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Anyother bottoms have trouble saying no to a Top
phillygwm replied to Pigmansex's topic in General Discussion
If a guy is orally talented, I'd rather sit back and enjoy (and I'll suck him too if he wants.) The older I get, the more I prefer it that way. -
Race isn't a prerequisite for me. Neither is size, in fact if I'm sucking, I'd rather have a small guy I can throat versus someone I just cant take. Those are nice to look at but can be impractical. I don't like a lot of tats or piercings, especially PAs. Uncut is a big plus. Most important is attitude. I know some guys like being treated poorly but that doesn't work for me. Be a good human, especially if you want to make it a regular thing.
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Anyother bottoms have trouble saying no to a Top
phillygwm replied to Pigmansex's topic in General Discussion
As a top, I totally understand this. I've been with my share of guys who have been dirty. No bueno. But my response is often "Do you have another orifice I can use?" TBH, at this stage of my life, I'd rather go down someone's throat anyway. Sometimes I even like to watch/help a guy prepare himself (though I exit when he moves to the toilet!) 🙂 -
I agree. I guess I, personally, draw the line at harm to others. If I'm in a secluded park having sex, that's illegal. Same for the adult theater/bookstore scene. The people who see me are trying to see me. OTOH, if I'm poz detectable and stealth someone? Yeah, there's a victim there; you're knowingly trying to poz someone. But I'm a big boy and have a healthy dose of built in cynicism. I assume everyone has nasty bugs and I try to take appropriate precautions.
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Where Are All The Feeders (Oral Tops)?
phillygwm replied to Letmeworshipit's topic in Cocksucking Discussion
I consider myself orally vers but I definitely prefer feeding. I simply lack the patience (and jaw strength) for long blow jobs so I'll start a guy off, he'll jerk himself, and I'll finish him off. Anally, I'm a top but I could live without that. As I've gotten older, I really prefer being serviced.- 13 replies
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Funny. I grew up in a very homogenous area in Philly. There were zero black kids in my grade school in the 8 years I was there. There were 2 in my HS but they were a year or two behind me so I had no interaction with them. These were decent sized schools: 800 and 1600. The Internet wasn't yet a thing so I saw my first black cock in a porno. Then I saw a guy in a shower. My first black guy experience was someone from the Caribbean so he was also uncut (which I'd never seen aside from a glimpse of my dad once or twice). So I get his pants off and he's fully covered. I was trying to act normal and figure out what I'm supposed to do with it. I then realized it retracted and, when it did, it looked sort of like mine. So I figured what works for me would work for him and I started rubbing his head. Yeah, he screamed 😞 Sadly, I didn't get a second date. I still feel badly about that! I subsequently dated a Colombian guy so, I promise, my technique has improved!
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This is sort of off-topic but when I see an uncut guy, sometimes I can tell why: he was born outside the US or he's Latino American, sometimes Asian. When I see a white American guy, I'll sometimes ask (if we're one on one, not public) how he escaped 🙂 and whether the other men in his family are intact. It always amazes me how many guys don't know. They never saw their father/bros growing up? Not once? I was the only boy in my family but I saw my dad. Rarely, but I saw it. He was uncut, I'm cut (WTF, Dad!) But I was born in a hospital, he was born at home. Back then, in the 60s, they probably didn't even ask and my parents wouldn't have been the type to question a doctor.
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Nice. I think a lot of guys conflate "rape" with rough sex. As I said earlier in the thread, the closest I ever came, the bottom could easily have escaped and he wasn't impaired or anything. So it wasn't really rape for him, it was sex that I intentionally meant to be unpleasant. As someone who usually goes out of my way to please my bottom, this was pretty dark for me but I'd have to admit it's in my top 3-4 experiences, even 20 years later. Never really knew I had a sadistic side before that...
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I enjoy giving it rough to a guy but would never intentionally try to HARM someone. When I'm having a dark fantasy, I go there but would never do it in reality. Once, when I was young (early 20's) I fucked a much smaller guy and actually made him bleed, unintentionally. He was fine but in the moment my mind went wild and I thought I perforated his colon or something (as if I were that big! 🙂 ) Once I realized I did no permanent damage, I went from panic to feeling like a stud. Ah, the good old days!
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Super hot pic but wish it were possible for a guy to retain everything. How are you going to get pregnant if the cum is dripping down your balls? 🙂 I used to like enema videos. Watching a guy's gut become distended was super hot. I really wasn't at all into when he released it, though. Similarly, the only time I ever fisted a guy (I got 2/3 to my elbow) I could literally see it pushing against his gut; I actually fist bumped myself... So 8 loads in an hour? 7.5 minutes per load. You must be really talented. I like to think I'm good but I don't have a 100% success rate, let alone finishing them that quickly.
