AgentColby

I have had done a few videos at home with a few tops. Up until a year ago I readily shared them with friends and online. I posted them on a few BB sites and xtube. The videos showed my face fully and the pix I posted, were face pix with full body. At the time, I was not concerned about others finding out. I was working for a small organization and not many gay men there. Also, I was living in a metropolitan city but not as large as NYC, where I live now. Fast fwd to a year ago, I took the videos down. I moved back to NYC a year ago and decided to take the videos down because I now work for a major corporation. To top it off, I work in an industry that is mostly bitchy women and gay men. Majority of the men in my field are gay. With that said, someone can and will come across these videos. I do not fear being judged or someone finding out but I fear it will have a detrimental effect on my career. I plan to leave this job next year to work for a much smaller company so I will most likely put the videos back online and even make new ones. I do not fear anyone finding out I BB or my videos but I just do not want to deal with any potential negative effect it may have on my career. An interesting thing has happened. A few months ago, I came across the profile of an executive at my office on a BB site.

Every black man is different and has a different feeling about the word "nigger". What is important is for any white person to understand that and not every black guys likes it. If you meet one black guy that is into it, doesn't mean a lot of us are. For me, I abhor the word and find it utterly disgusting coming from a white person. I even have issues with black people calling each other that word when in public as it lessens the severity and history of the word. I had the unfortunate experience of being called that word by two different white tops. First time, I was blowing a guy and in midst of it he called me a nigger. I was completely appalled and just couldn't believe it. I stopped what I was doing, put my clothes back on and left without saying a word. I later received an email of apology and he explained that he had done it few times before with other bottoms and he thought it was ok. I had to tell him that despite the fact that white people think all black people are the same, WE ARE NOT. The action, lifestyle, or likes/dislikes of one black person doesn't speak for the rest of the population. To presume if one or few likes it, then we must all, is ignorant. Only other time I was called that was online by a guy who couldn't wait to fuck my "nigger hole". Let's just say that was the end of the discussion. I personally dislike the word b/c it brings back bad memories of my H.S. years. I had the unfortunate experiencing of attending an all boys school where I was one of 10 black boys in a school of 140 students. It was not the greatest experience and it was especially difficult considering that I did not meet the stereotypes that many of my white classmates believed about black people. This led to many situations of being called a nigger and twice being suspended for beating a crap out of two students who used that word. That being said, when I fuck with other black or latino tops, the word "nigga" is used between us. In this context I do not mind it as it is b/w two members of a minority race and also, it is done in private. If I were to be called "nigga" in public setting by another minority member, I would not like that either. This is no different than the word "faggot". I think it is disgusting coming from someone who isn't gay but also inappropriate when gays use it publicly. If used in a gay social setting by gay people, I do not mind it.

You do not need to opt me out. I do not go into the backroom section to begin with. I look at threads based on what pops up on the front page. You are right, I may think these people are crazy and soon enough they will be gone due to their choices. Live and let live.

In a lot of cases, people have to hit rock bottom before they get the message. A buddy of mine is a social worker and specifically deals with gay people men with HIV. He tells me how often he has men come in to his program completely addicted to crystal. He always says that if a man is on crystal and poz, he can not be trusted to take his meds or do it as his doctor informs to. In fact, before an addict can successfully take his meds, they have to work on his addiction first.

Yet on this site and on this thread, this is glorified with guys posting idiotic crap about how much they want the bug, how much they want to look like they have AIDS, how much they want a booty bump, how great "x" experience was thrilling because they did drugs. I like this site for the fact that it is a safe haven but dislike it b/c I can not take it seriously because of the crazy fetishing. Unfortunate to say that the image out there that men who knowingly BB are HIV infected low lives who are drug addicts. This site and your blog (some of the bttms you blog about appear to be addicts) gives ammunition to that stereotype. I look fwd when the image isn't so much that but people like me: professional and drug free who just happens to like his sex raw and isn't on the hunt for a bug.

I have been to both and found both to be boring. I haven't been in a while but I found both experiences to be lackluster and I left after an hour and half. I went to East Side when I first moved to NYC after college in 2004 and was disappointed that there was little action. Most guys just simply walked around the facility in their towel. A year ago I went to West Side and it was the same story there. I did get a blow job but I found the experience to be a waste of my $$$. I haven't been to some good baths but not in NYC. When I went to college upstate, there was a bath house in Rochester I went to and it was fun. Each time I went, I managed to get fucked and loaded by 3 or 4 guys. Perhaps this was so b/c it was a smaller gay community and a lot of guys needed to get off.

I have to ask, what is point of saying "safe only" when you prefer BB? I do not get guys on MH and other sites that say that yet want BB? If I see safe only on anyone's profile, I move on. Just yesterday a guy on adam emails me for hook up and his profile says safe only and is poz. I told him we aren't a match b/c I only BB. He then tells me he BBs too and for the life of me, I can not figure out why he says safe only. Please explain.

Your doctor was sadly misinformed. Warts manifests different for people. Some get the warts, others don't. Some need medical interventions and for others, it heals on it's own. I have to say that bottoms, more so than others, need to have their anus and rectum checked regularly. I see my doctor every 4-5 months for blood work. Each time gives me a physical. I am very very honest with him about my sexual activities. He knows I do not used condoms and haven't done so in 10 years, he knows I have multiple sex partners. I always have him not only run my blood for all STDs but I also have him check my anus to ensure no warts and that things look good.

I would NOT carry on with having sex. HPV can be passed on to people. Whether or not people have the virus is irrelevant. Your next option is to have them burned off. Since you have tried creames and freezing them and they didn't work, you should go have them burned off.

Well I just lost my appetite, guess I will not eat the rest of my sandwhich. I wasn't really hungry anyway.

Well said, couldn't have said it any better. My experience has been that white men who say that they "aren't into blacks, Asians" etc often always have no black (or asian), no social interactions with blacks other than saying hello to "Tyrone Jenkins" at his office. Their "sexual dislike" of the race is purely based on stereotype and what they think they know about the race. People live in bubbles and white people live in their "white bubble". I see this a lot in NYC. Despite living in diverse community, I see people who live in white hoods, have white friends, and totally oblivious to the melting pot surrounding them. I do not necessarily think they are racist, just blisfully ignorant. I myself used to be one of those "not into asians" guy until I actually met one. All my preconceived stereotypes were shattered. I leared that one stereotypical asian does not speak for all asians. I often come across men, esp. white, who think b/c I am black I must be "X": a top, a thug, a "yo yo yo" hip hopper. I can see the dissapointment in their faces when they realize I am none of that. It is quite disappointing but I then understand that the experience says more about them and their ignorance than about me.

This is where a lot of people get it wrong, esp. white men. Latin culture is VERY diverse and it consists of light skin, dark, and in between. Latin culture is largely influence by the Spainards but it also has a very very heavy African influence. The slave trade dispersed Africans in many parts of the eastern world and the Carribbean, So. America and Central American had a lot of slaves. There's a lot of culture mixing in the latin culture. Brazil has the second largest black population in the world. In Cuba, Central America and Dominican Republic, you will see a lot of light skin latins but equally see a lot of dark skinned African latins. Brazil may be been a colony of Portugal at one time but there is nothing Portuguese about the culture. Many Brazilians have a lot of African blood in them but many have European ancestory. One fact: After WWII, a lot of Nazi soldiers fled to Brazil and Argentina. To that end, one can not paint latin culture with one brush stroke. In my opinion, when white men say they like latin, it is all a fetish. I sincerely believe a lot of white men go for latin guys b/c it is the closets "ethnic" thing they can get without having to go to black/dark skin toned. Latin men have a lot of the same features as black: big butts, big lips, above average dick, and in alot of cases, smooth skin. Where the bonus point goes for white men is that they can get all these features while still having the "white skin".

Taking hung cock is not as bad as guys make it out to be. For starters, you can not rush into it. Go slow. I find, for me, if a hung guy spends a good amount of time rimming me, it relaxes me. Also, when you're ready, have him go in slow and I do mean SLOW. If you get to point where it hurts or feels comfortable, ask him to pause right there. Let him stay in you but do not move. When you're ready, you can go in another inch. I also find breathing helps. If I am with a guy who is fucking me for a long time or is larger than average, I find breathing exercises as I get fuck help.

There are a lot of variables in answering that Q. I can speak for myself in saying that in some places, I have difficulties getting sex. For ex: I am young black male and that can work against me in some places. When I lived in DC, I couldn't get my ass fucked b/c DC is a pretty racist place. A lot of white guys in that area stick to their own kind and if they are open to other races, those guys are mostly bttm. That is a dilemma for me b/c I am mostly bttm. If I top, then I have no issue. I live in NYC now and I do not have any problems getting guys. Only thing that makes it difficult is that a lot of guys online are flakes. This is why I do not spend too much time online looking. I also find location can play a role in your ability to BB. When I travel to Ft. Lauderdale, I have absolutely no probems whatsoever finding guys who BB and very little issues finding white tops, black tops. Flip side, a few months ago, I went to PA for a couple days (not philly) and despite going online, could not find any guy who wanted to BB. So the answer to your question is, it all depends.

Great idea. I wouldn't mind volunteering to bttm.

I think the comments that monogamy is boring is unfair. In addition I find it offensive at comments saying it is natural and that men are natural whores or incapable of being monogamous. Not every guy has a need to fuck everyone, not every guy is a whore, and there are many men capable and very happy with just one man. I have been on both ends of the table. My first relationship, I was with the person 3 years. We had 3ways and 4ways but they were not a regular activities. I enjoyed getting fucked by others and he loved it but he also had a great dick and loved seeing bttms enjoy it. We only did this occasionally, once in a while. Most of the time, we often set things up when we went on vacation. On the flip side, I dated someone for a 2yrs and we were monogamous and I was perfectly fine being with just him. Sure I had fantasies and temptations to hook up with others and I know he did as well but at the end of the day, I really was more happy with just going home to him and being with him. There were many hot guys I could have met up with but at the end of the day, I just wanted him. We broke up b/c I had a great job opportunity and he couldn't move. Monogamy is possible but it does require some work. I will say it isn't easy b/c when I was in my monogamous relationship, there were times where I wanted to have sex with others. It isn't because I loved my guy less or the sex b/w us wasn't great, it is just that once in a while, I wanted to try another dick. That being said, at the end of the day, the other guys are nothing more than just dicks and I really wanted to be with my guy. Anyone can be monogamous but it isn't for everyone.

You sound like me. I became exclusive barebacker at about age 20. I tested poz at the age of 29, 9yrs later. When I decided to become active BB'er, I made the decision knowing full well the consequences and all the risks involved. Please, I was NOT a bug chaser and in no way seeking to become poz. When I converted, I knew immediately. I got the "fuck flu" and I had enough poz friends to know the signs. Four of my poz friends recommended the same doctor to me and he immediately placed me on meds. Within few weeks I became undetectable. I have not had any problems whatsoever with side effects. Keep in mind that a lot of the side effts of HIV, especially lypodystrophy (sp) are quite uncommon these days. The new meds we have drastically lower such occurance. It is mostly associated with long term poz people who were on the old HIV meds. As for STDs. Although I am having more sex than before, I have not experienced any STDs. From time to time I involve myself in play parties or multiple fucking but for most part, I fuck with guys I know and have known. If you do test poz, my advice is to ensure you have a good doctor. I would get one that specializes in HIV and even better if they are gay. My doctor is gay and specializes in HIV and gay men's health. This helps a great deal b/c I am able to be VERY honest with him. He knows I actively BB and have an active sex life. I do not hide my sexual activity from him b/c he knows that when I come to his office, he automatically includes STD testing as part of my blood work. My last visit with him was few weeks ago and I fully revealed to him that a month before I went to Florida and had 5 sexual partners while there. He knew the drill to order STD testing.

Please look into psyllium husk. It's a plant and in it's powder form, which you can find at any health food store, it works as a cleanser. Taken 6-8 hours ahead, it cleanses your bowels. It is very similar to Metamucil. The active ingredient in metamucil is psyllium but metamucil is mixed in with other stuff to hide the taste. Every night I drink psyllium with water and next morning, I am shitting out a lot, totally cleaning me out. I take it every day not only b/c it is good for my body but also, whenever I want to get fuck, I do not have to do much cleaning. Douching in preparation for fucking is a breeze for me. After taking a good shit with the help of psyllium, I do not have to spend more than 10-15 min cleaning out. I swear by it and it is god send.

Every brand of poppers is different and has a different effect on people. It really takes trying a few brands to find the one that is just right for you. Some brands give people headaches, some do nothing at all, and some just put you in a state of euphoria. Not all brands are created equally and all have different chemical compositions (little less of this, more of that, none of this etc etc). I will say that the brands that we know today (rush, jungle juice etc etc) are quite diluted and the effect you get from them is nothing compared to real Amyl Nitrite. I myself only use Junge Juice as it is the only thing I have tried that gives me the feeling of a poppers. The original poster ask what poppers do for you? For me, it is a relaxer. When the top is ready to fuck me, I can take a small sniff and immediately I feel light and my hole feels ready to take a cock. A longer sniff can bring me to a point of rage and agression and I find myself just wanting it hard and rough. I will say that real Amyl Nitrite is an feeling like no other. A few yrs ago I had the fortune of meeting a top who was a chemist and he knew how to make his own batch of poppers. He and I had a 3 way with another top and I was the bttm. I took a sniff of his and WOW, I mean wow. The sex was amazing and I was shocked as to how much fucking i could take as a bottom. That poppers experience took my fucking to another level. Had two guys who spent 3hrs fucking me and I am not even exaggerating on the 3hrs.

I would actually have to agree, NYC is not a major cum whore type city. A lot of guys online, yes, but most are just that, online. I moved back to city a year ago and I get around hook up wise but it is a mountain to get guys to commit to meeting. A lot go online to hook up but when its time to make plans, you'll get a lot of "I am free after 5, I can not today how about tomorrow", needless to say, commitment is hard to get. Way I go around it is try to get guys as fuck buds. Right now I have one I go to each week. In terms of finding places to hook up, that is hard to come by. There are few baths here but most ppl do not go. I have been to couple and have found them boring and waste of $$$. When I lived here a few yrs ago, there used to be a members only BB group that meet monthly but it since has closed. Anyway, NYC is bit hard one. I have better luck other areas. When I visit Fort Lauderdale, no issues. I easily get guys coming over my hotel to load me.

Anal warts are a lot more common than people think. Most people who have it do not know. Where it gets tricky is that for some, it heals on its own but for others, medical intervention is needed. A lot of people, especially bottoms, do not know they have it but ignoring it turns into a big mess where major surgery is needed to remove it. I had a 3 wart yrs ago. Thankfully, I was clued in about it that I immediately went to a doctor and he froze and zapped it out in one visit. My case was rather mild that I was able to resume sex after two weeks. Your case sounds like a more serious one. I would follow your doc's advise and instructions and to be safe, lay off sex for a while.

I am not into long term chastity (i.e. locking my cock for days, weeks) but I do own a cb-6000 chasity. I wear it when I am going to be involved in long fucking or multiple fucking. I do not use it for any form of role play or control but I DO find them very helpful in ensuring that I do not jerk off. When I get fuck, I can sometimes focus too much on my dick and stroking. When I put the chastity on, it removed any temptation to touch my dick and helps me focus on my hole. I find chastity good at helping bottoms focus on what is more important, their hole and ensuring the top gets what he needs. When the top cums and leaves, that is when I take it off and allow myself to cum. Last time I used it was a month ago. I was meeting two guys for a 3 way and I was the bttm. I put on my chastity and left the keys at home. Got fucked for 2hrs and it was a good experience b/c I was able to channel my focus and energy on my hole.

I am 30 years old and I have been BBing since I was 16 but exclusively since the age of 20. At the age of 20, I made a full decision to embrace BB and ever since then, I have actively practiced it. I have not used rubber since then. I have passed up a lot of guys because they do not BB. If a guy wants to fuck with me but doesn't want to BB, I pass. About 3yrs ago, I started to open up about my BB lifestyle. With friends I have close relationship with, they know I BB. Most of my friends have no issue with it and even a couple admit that they BB once in while with hook ups. My manhunt and adam4adam profile CLEARLY state that I ONLY BB, NO EXCEPTIONS. I rather be upfront than tip toe around the subject. Surprisingly, I have a lot of guys hitting me up. One thing I lament about is the lack of BB voice out there in the gay community. We have many sub groups: Bears, Leather, Muscle, Twinks etc etc but BB is a lifestyle choice but we do not have a vocal voice/representation. This annoys me as I believe there are A LOT of gay men who ACTIVELY BB but far too many are in the closet about it. I recognize the topic is taboo but I think it is time we start building a voice. I myself call myself a BB advocate. Not only do I practice the lifestyle but I am relatively open about it where appropriate. If I am asked about it, I speak about it. The biggest way I came out was in college, I did an interview for a now out of print online magazine and spoke freely about my BB lifestyle and used my real name. I am in no way shy about my BB lifestyle and I am not ashamed, embarassed, or scared of what others will think. My biggest wish is not only that the BB lifestyle will begin to have a voice in the gay community but also the image will change. I am very tired of the image that those who BB are tweakers/drug addicts/meth heads and therefore unable to know what they are doing. I am not a drug user and have a disdain for it and my choice to BB was done of sound mind, knowing full well the risks. I am a pretty normal guy, with normal job, no drugs, normal life. I didn't have some traumatizing experience that turned me on to BB. I didn't have some messed up childhood, it was rather normal one.

No. I was BB'ng long before my first bareback film. I recall the first BB film I ever saw was "Once in Blue Moon" and I was in my junior year of college. By then, I had been BBng for 5 years. So no, BB porns did not influence my activity. My first sexual encounter was BB at 16 and until I was 18, I only had one sexual partner. In college, I didn't play much as I went to school in middle of nowhere. The few guys I hooked up with were safe sex and then I started dating someone for 3yrs and we only BB'd. I moved to NYC after college and from then on, I only BB'd b/c that is all I knew. Sure I knew about condoms and safe sex but b/c it never was something I practiced, it never felt like me to do it.

I am one of those guys where once he comes, he is done. That being said, when getting fucked, I try my best to not touch my dick. I have told tops that if I am getting to caught up in jerking off as be fucks me, just pull my hands away. A few times I have jerked off while top is fucking and what I have found that although it is unpleasant, if you can just try to take the dick for a good 5-10 minutes, the pain or discomfort actually passes and you'll be able to keep going.