Got a couple of m8s who are Poz. Both struggled to come to terms with it, but both are leading happy fulfilled lives now and say that it is not really a great deal.
I have also recently been to the funeral of a (straight) friend who took his own life in the early stages of severe depression before the docs had a chance to get his meds right. His family and friends are all in a bad state now and will take a very long time to get over it.
So.... Please, please go and get help for the depression NOW. It may take a while, but with good treatment you will eventually be able to enjoy life again and spare the people that you care about.