mdol1980
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Everything posted by mdol1980
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Do you regret training your ass to take big toys?
mdol1980 replied to Cypher35's topic in General Discussion
No regrets at all. I'm a loose hole, but I can still squeeze - mind you my natural habitat is the dark room offering myself up to strangers so I suppose nobody's being terribly picky, but I haven't had anyone slip in then pull out in dismay at the state of things, that's all I really need to not feel guilty for inflicting myself on unsuspecting men. For my part, a regular sized cock doesn't give me the rush a big toy or a hand does, but it's not by any means unpleasant - it's even a bit exciting in its own way, the sloppiness reminding me what I've done to myself - and when you get down to it, I'm ultimately there for the feeling of him cumming inside me, and loosening up hasn't diminished that one bit. -
The earliest relevant to the question thoughts I can remember were to do with a friend who had a stash of porn magazines - just a handful and very tame, but we were very young so they were catnip to us anyway. I don't recall how the idea came about but we wound up playing a game of reenacting the photo shoots, and I was automatically the 'porn star' posing nude while my friend 'interviewed' me about how much fun it was to show off my body. The magazines were straight and I was playing the girl (on a couple of the most adventurous occasions I was his 'hooker', but we were too young for anything much physical to happen, just some cuddling and rubbing), but looking back that seems like just lack of any clue at the time that there were other options - I never really found out if my friend wanted to be in charge of things all the time (we weren't that close by the time we'd grown up enough to know what we'd have been talking about to have that conversation) but I clearly remember never wanting to take any other role than the sex object, and those experiences quickly bled into (similarly rudimentary) fantasies on my own time about men seeing me naked. And ironically now my natural habitat is the dark room where nobody's seeing anybody, but now it's clear that just being looked at wasn't really what I was interested in anyway.
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I don't get hard when I'm being fucked, even if it gets to the point of making me spurt, only from jerking myself solo. I've had the occasional guy be dissatisfied that he couldn't masturbate me with any visible result (and one memorable occasional when a guy watching my cam got upset that I was 'wasting his time' if I wasn't going to get hard and cum for him, even though I was just showing my body around and never said I'd do anything more, so that left me in a great mood...) but even ignoring the local dark room and glory holes where it's not even a factor, I've had far more tops either not care at all, or at least not consider it any kind of deal breaker.
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I've been shared many times, the kind of man I gravitate to is the kind who'll want to, but usually that's more a case of 'surprise threesome'. But more years ago than I care to think about, I had a guy message me out of the blue on a site I was on at the time asking if I wanted to be pimped out. He didn't seem overtly crazy, and his profile seemed like it was his kink, so I went along with it. We never met, but he sent me the time and place to go to - I was nervous on my first 'job' but horniness won, I turned up at a middle of the road flat and got used by a nice middle-aged man, didn't end up being hunted for sport in the outback or with my kidneys in an esky full of ice on their way overseas. My 'pimp' evidently got a good report so he kept in contact, for the better part of a year and numerous jobs for a number of his friends/acquaintances before messages became less frequent then finally no more. So a bit of a fizzle-out of an ending, but it was (and still is when I think back) hot as fuck being recruited as a whore by a pimp I never met or really knew anything about.
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I'll echo what others have said about bare cock being far superior to toys, but from my experience practice with toys has its place. Waaaaay back when I first started loosening myself up, it began with a very modest little butt plug, and I think it helped a lot just in terms of communicating to my hole that 'heya, something's going in the out hole' was to be met with 'awesome let's do this' rather than 'wait what?' Just starting, in a very low-stakes no-nervousness way (because seriously, the only way that plug could've hurt me is if I duct taped it to a brick and hit myself in the head with it), to build up muscle memory in my butt that the feeling of penetration automatically caused relaxation, without having to think about it. And of course then upgrading to larger toys and cocks and forearms and what have you, I didn't get loose just by being relaxed with a small plug, that's a given. But I don't think I'd have gotten where I am if I hadn't started with making relaxation automatic then moving up in size. It may not feel like it's achieving anything much to begin with, or even be much of a turn on, but five minutes sliding a modest plug in and out every day will pay for itself big time down the track
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My first fuck I was blindfolded (first two actually, him and his flatmate), and if you'll forgive me mixing metaphors, I never looked back. It was a while before I got my nerve up to start taking genuinely anonymous loads, either blindfolded or in the darkroom, but even in the beginning when I knew who I was with, I also knew it was really getting to me that they knew exactly what they were about to do to me, and I knew basically nothing until it was happening. Darkroom's not 100% the same of course since they can't see me either, but I love it anonymous either way, and being seen by the crowd walking in and out gets me going in the same way even so. But if the opportunity's there I'm always up for a blindfold.
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I'm old enough that my 'apps' for hooking up were just websites... I had some success with them, not a lot compared to the amount of time spent in chat rooms or looking through profiles, but met a few people and had some good times, and I don't think there's any way I'd have had the nerve to get started somewhere like a bathhouse, so that was good. But once I had a few meets under the belt I wasn't wearing and tried out a venue (the first I went to didn't have any bath or sauna type facilities, it was just a 'cruising lounge') I knew I'd found my place. Some good options in Sydney and I can be pretty confident of getting at least a load or two any given evening - very few times has that led to any return engagements away from the venue (nowadays most of the time it's in the dark room so I wouldn't even recognise them if I saw them) so apps/sites have that advantage I guess, but I get what I want from the bathhouse.
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No interesting stories to speak of, but yeah, it's a hell of a thrill. Can't really pin down why, unless it's the feeling of throwing caution to the wind and doing something 'inadvisable' purely because lust says do it - I wouldn't be on hands and knees in a darkroom every couple of days if that kind of thing didn't do anything for me. Mostly I've played with toys that wouldn't be difficult to retrieve, balls with cords attached, that sort of thing, even though the little cord's still trailing out, there's that feeling of the main toy being swallowed up and my hole closing (loosely) after it that gets me going. That plus suitably shaped dildos, double enders for instance. But there are times I just need to do something probably kinda stupid just to get off, most notably a decent sized plug in my collection, with a rectangular base that's squishy enough that I can push it in, and it'll flex enough to let itself be pushed out again without a herculean struggle. Back when I was starting out I used to push it just to the edge of popping in, then I moved up to squeezing one side of the base into me, and finally there came a day when I felt like I was loose enough and everything was moving in and out freely enough that I ignored my better judgement and pushed it fully inside, until all I could feel from outside was my hole held about a centimetre open with the flat bottom of the base sealing me up from the inside. Dumb thing to do? Yep. Felt like I'd discovered a whole new way to fuck myself? Also yep. Has it ever all gone wrong? Not yet, and touch wood it won't, but if it does, I'm not going to pretend it's not my own damn fault. But like I said, that's how I am apparently, doesn't seem like I can shut that impulse in myself down, so may as well ride it and enjoy as long as I can.
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advice What Advice Do You Wish You Could Give Your Younger Self? 😀
mdol1980 replied to Carlos1881's topic in General Discussion
Nothing that'd surprise anyone here I'm sure. I think what I'd try to get across is that taking the plunge on the fantasies I was having wouldn't leave me feeling like I'd done something I wished I could 'take back'. Assuming nothing awful happened of course, I wouldn't be telling myself to go hang around a truck stop on the off chance I got fucked instead of bashed, but there were occasions when looking back I think I was on to a good thing with certain men, and I kept my distance because I wasn't sure it was 'for me'. "Call them back you idiot, set up a second meet, let them turn you into their personal fleshlight," that sort of thing. -
I live for it - having men use me in other ways and settings is great, but dark rooms have always been my obsession. Early days of going to saunas I'd imagine what was going on in there, even when I was elsewhere slowly working my way up the ladder of how far I was willing to go I'd still be thinking about 'one day' going that far, and bit by bit I psyched myself up to being closer to that goal, until I was there. If I was being unnecessarily dramatic I'd definitely say it was my destiny.
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My first fuck was courtesy of gaydar, we chatted briefly, not in any great detail, but he said the right things - I'd be his sex slave for the duration of the meet-up, but he was casual and friendly, it was clear the 'sex slave' thing would be just a game, not anything that'd make me nervous about meeting him (it was my first time, anything intense would've had me scuttling off to hide). We met on Oxford St, which is the gayest bit of the city, he as promised in our chat took me to a sex shop to show me some toys he'd like to use on me (nothing gargantuan), I felt pretty good being around him for 15 minutes so I got in a taxi with him back to his place. A short ride later I was in his apartment, introduced briefly to his flatmate - with it pretty clear I was there for sex, and since the flatmate was likewise laid back I was excited rather than worried about him - then into my guy's bedroom, where I stripped and put on a blindfold (that was really the extent of the 'slave' play), he lubed me and used a couple of modest toys to pave the way, then got me on hands and knees and fucked me. Nothing earthshaking, but I think I'd have been intimidated by a less relaxed approach, so that was a good first for me. After he'd cum - I swear I'm not making this up, even though I know it does sound a bit like it - he asked if I wanted his flatmate to fuck me as well, and since my first fuck had gone off without a hitch I immediately said yes, so a moment later I was on my hands and knees again with the other guy fucking me (a bit more vigorous, but I was relaxed for it), and asked to suck my guy while he did. He warned me he didn't expect he'd be able to cum again so soon, but I guess I was putting on a good show for him since I ended up getting a mouthful out of him. Pretty proud of that. 🙂
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Bottoms - do you like your cock played when you are ass up?
mdol1980 replied to Bttml00king's topic in General Discussion
I'm not against having my cock touched, but if someone's doing it in expectation of getting it hard and cumming, that's not going to happen. No problem with any who like their fun both ways, but I make it pretty plain to tops that I'm here to be fucked, it can get frustrating when some of them still assume I want to be jerked off and won't take a hint. -
Hadn't really given it much thought before now, but no, I wouldn't say my standards have changed, just my willingness to put myself in fuckable situations. I've always had a thing for older men and that's still true (even though I'm tipping over into being 'older man' myself) but that's never been exclusive, from the beginning my feeling has been that a cock is a cock, and the only thing that really makes me not want to take one is if the guy makes me feel physically unsafe (which thankfully hasn't ever been an issue, the places I cruise in are pretty decent). I used to at least have a five minute chat before offering myself, but that was never standards, just nerves - I wanted anonymous loads in darkrooms and similar venues (which I guess means my only standard was 'the venue let the guy through the front door'), all that's changed is now I've put my worries to one side enough to go through with it.
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What turned you into a bare pig?
mdol1980 replied to germancumbear's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
I used to have tops cover up, but it was only ever out of fear of STDs, for as long as I remember having sexual urges at all I'd wanted to feel used, and fantasising about taking strangers' loads was a very natural part of that. There wasn't a single incident that pushed me over the line, I just gave in bit by bit, swallowing to begin with, then not mentioning condoms and leaving it up to whoever I was with to decide (and to begin with going through all the anxiety after a bare session), and eventually I felt like since I was ignoring safety from time to time anyway, and you never know which fuck might be the one to leave more than a load of cum in me, I may as well just get the most I can out of it, stopped loitering around the perimeter of the dark room at the sauna/club I go to, and got down on hands and knees in there instead. Looking back it just seems inevitable. -
bareback What do you do when the top wants to use condoms?
mdol1980 replied to a topic in General Discussion
Obviously I'd prefer not, but I take cocks in a bathhouse/club with all the usual amenities, condom dispensers in every room and all that. I'm not going to say no to a cock whatever its owner chooses to do with it. I love cum ever since I started taking it, but before that I loved being fucked and I still do, so it's not a waste of time for me. -
I love it. I'm a quiet type by nature so I don't go out of my way to get tops talking, since I don't want them to feel they're doing all the work if I'm mostly staying quiet with just a 'yes' when prompted, but I've been used by several men who liked telling me just what I was while they were in me, and weren't bothered by it not being a two-way thing. Humiliating, degrading talk, I just love it. Having them tell me what a worthless used-up cocksleeve I am, and they know it doesn't matter what they say, it just makes me hornier and more desperate for their loads.
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Why Did You Start Barebacking?
mdol1980 replied to west933's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
I feel like it was being cooped up while my favourite sex club was shut that did it for me. I'd used to go in fairly often, cruise a bit, sometimes have some safer fun, always wanted to take it raw but never had the nerve to do it. Having no outlet for so long while everything was closed, even just for that bit of not-quite-enough fun, I guess built it up in me past the point of no return. Not really sure when I made the decision but when I was setting aside a time to go back I was thinking maybe, and when I was actually there I felt like I was just letting things happen, not really making a choice, but I loved it and haven't stopped. No indications of picking up anything yet but I feel like the time for changing my mind and backing out has passed for me.
