Sex IMO is a Team Effort, be that team 2 or more. The parties involved need to work together to make it enjoyable for all involved.
Being a Hole does have its moments, as does the Top just wanting a hole.
I hooked up with a guy in Vegas last time I was there. He stated in his profile that he didn't really fuck. I can't think of his exact words at the moment.
Basically, he laid on top of me with his dick in my hole and barely moved at all, but he shot a nice load deep in my ass. Granted I do enjoy the actuall fucking part especially once they get past the 2nd sphicter then I am in HOG heaven and really moan and groan. The still fuck was a new experience for me I admit, but it wasn't horrible, just different.