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Once I started having sex I was pretty versatile from the get-go. My first BF/regular sex partner was 10yrs older and also very versatile. Lots of fun and was a good introduction to sex. Before him, I had only hooked up maybe 3 times before him, two of which were oral only. 1 time I was a total bottom, but didn't really enjoy it much - the top wasn't very good, and I was more distracted by the TV show that was playing (News Radio).

I agree with you, and I wonder if it's an attitude more common in vers guys than total tops/bottoms. Now and then I can enjoy getting into a 'sub' mode, but don't assume that is going to be a given. It's my ass, and my choice of when/how I give it up and what I let you do with it. Some times I may be a more aggressive bottom, other times I might be more submissive - and the act of submission can actually be rather empowering. But don't assume you can just make me your bitch and that my pleasure is inconsequential. Sex should be about mutual pleasure between people - either that be physical, mental or emotional. If I'm not getting pleasure out of the situation - then it wont be lasting much longer. If that makes me a bad bottom, then I'd consider you a bad top - and we best just avoid hooking up to avoid wasting each-others time.

Chances of staying neg, especially if you are a bottom? I'd say slim. The guys who take hundreds of loads (or more) and stay neg are the exception, not the norm. You may be allergic to something in the condoms - either the latex, the lube used, or the spermicide in it - look into some non-latexalternatives. If you decide to go bare, especially as a bottom : Inform yourself of HIV and Hep C - are you willing to accept these risks? You will probably get other STDs along the way also - will you be comfortable enough to go into your local clinic to get them treated as they appear, or be too filled with shame/guilt to get it dealt with? Are you willing to accept the impact of HIV on your life - daily meds, increased doctors visits, other STD risks (Hep C seems to only sexually transmitted from sex if you are HIV+). Also, the impact it will have on your dating/love life? Sure, the inhibited sex may seem hot when left as a fantasy in your head, but are you willing to accept the reality of it? It's not necessarily bad - it does complicate things though. Being turned down by HIV- guys who don't want to have sex with HIV+ guys. If you do decide to 'settle down into a monogamous LTR' - finding that 'special someone' that is also 'poz friendly' (or also poz) could be difficult. Do you want a choice made in the heat of the moment, have unexpected consequences later on? Do you live in a place that has programs to help cover the cost of HIV medication? do you have private insurance to help cover the costs? Your answers to these questions should guide your answer to the 'should I go bare or not'. Lots of guys (especially on this forum), seem to think of these questions and still say "Yep, going bare is for me". But the simple fact that you are asking "what are my chances of staying neg?" leads me to think that you have not thought this through very well. and you know, lots of guys seem to say "Becoming poz was the best thing for my sex-life", if anything - I feel as if it has made me more squirrely about it. I still have a great sexlife with my partner - but when it comes to playing outside of the relationship, it seems as if I have more hangups then I did before. Everyone reacts to finding out they are poz differently - and frequently on this forum, the point of view that gets expressed is usually the "fuck yeah, fuck all the things!" - so just giving an opinion from a different point of view.

I'm pretty versatile. I enjoy both top & bottom roles when fooling around - but depending on the situation I can either be a total top, total bottom - or enjoy a good flip partway through depending on what the chemistry is like. I've noticed in relationships I tend to be more top-oriented, but when I'm playing outside of it I tend to be more of a bottom - but that isn't set in stone. Sex is fun, and limiting myself to 100% one role or the other for the rest of my life seems silly - although sticking to one or the other depending on the encounter can be fun.

Yeah, I found a few of those articles also - very small sample. I did see an eye doctor the other day, and everything looked fine - no damage to the cornea, retina, nerves, etc. She was like "I wish I could find something so I could tell you what's going on, but everything looks fine.". She thinks maybe something to do with my focusing-system might be affected, and have a follow up in 2 weeks. It seems to be improving a small bit today - but still, it really has left me scratching my head and thinking "wtf?" - I've been using poppers for nearly 10years now and have never had anything like this happen before.

Just wondering if this has happened to anyone else. The other day I bought some poppers - no idea of the brand, they just came in a white box - no labelling on the box, or the bottle itself. Poppers were pretty strong - maybe too strong. I hit them a bit harder than I normally do - and my vision hasn't been the same since. It sort of feels like I've looked into a bright light a little too long and there is a fuzzy-spot in the middle of my vision that makes it difficult to focus. It gets worse as the day goes on, and by 5pm or so I start getting a headache/feeling a little nauseous. I last did the poppers about 5 days ago and my vision is still wonky, and can't really tell if it's getting better or not.

Depends on the person you are with. There are lots of guys who get off on making you cum, and having themselves cum is not their top priority. For lots of guys, there is a great deal of enjoyment in the process, and not just the destination/final act of orgasm. Think you just need to learn to read the situation, as some times the other guy will want to cum (and I dont think he should be looked down on for that). Other times, he's happy to take a load and leave it at that. For me, cumming isn't always the most important thing - the other night I had a 6hr play session with 3 other guys, none of us came - but we all had a very satisfying evening (more fisting/ass play/toys, very little fucking or oral). I'm a very versatile guy though, and think that mutual enjoyment/pleasure by everyone is important. But, what brings people pleasure can be different. You can be physically getting off (cumming, fucking, enjoying being fucked, body contact, etc), or mentally getting off (submitting/dominating, doing something taboo, role play, etc) or any combination of the two. I know when I'm bottoming, I've started to wear jock-straps that restrict access to my cock - getting fucked/fisted makes me rock hard - and I'd get into a bad habit of not being able to keep my hands off of myself. I'd then get too focused on my cock, not the sensations in my ass - cum too fast, and need a break/end things sooner than I'd like. Since I've started wearing jock-straps/etc while bottoming - my endurance lasts MUCH longer, and I'm much more focused on what's going on in my ass - and if I can go for a few hours of pleasure without touching my cock/cuming but enjoying what's going on in my ass vs cumming in 30mins and wraping things up, I'll go for the prolonged pleasure

Why not be honest and insist on bareback or nothing? What gives you the right to decide how safe or unsafe the other person wants to be by putting holes into condoms/being sneaky on them. Pretty shit thing to do IMO.

I like dim lights, preferably something a bit 'warm'. Don't like cold harsh lights, but don't like total darkness either - I like to see what is going on. As for music - I tend to like sort of deep throbbing techno/minimal. I'm really into electronic music so I'll try and find a set that fits my mindset. Tend to veer towards the 'trippier' side of things that are more chuggy and can sort of fall into background noise without demanding too much attention. But, I'd rather listen to no music than bad music. But, if I'm fucking at home - I have gigs and gigs of music to pick from, can usually find something. I hate it when bath-houses blast BAD music. I recall one time being at GI Joe in Montreal, and I swear they had 'Who let the dogs out' on loop - I heard it about 4 times and got so annoying I eventually left.

I really enjoy fisting (either top or bottom), more so than fucking I think. Every time I'm fucking/getting fucked - most of the time I end up wanting to take things further and turn it into a fisting session. Nothing feels quite as nice as a warm moist ass wrapped around my forearm. Also feels great fucking a nice sloppy hole after you've been opening it up for awhile.

I'm pretty versatile. I find in relationships I tend to top more, in hook-ups I tend to bottom more, but at the end of the day I really enjoy both and it comes down to the chemistry at that time.

Quickies and marathon sessions have their place.

Reminds me of the time when I was hanging out with a bunch of friends, and the topic of bath houses came up. Everyone was being all judgemental of them until I was "uhh, I go to them." and pretty much everyone in the group changed their tune and admitted to going now and then also.

I tried Extenze recently and was actually surprised at how well they worked. I haven't had an erection that hard in about 10 years I think.

What about buying something like the Streem Master? I just picked one up recently and it seems to do the trick.

Unlike the above, I can count the number of partners I've had bareback sex with on 1 hand, and the number of times I was the bottom is even less, and the number of loads I've taken (other than my boyfriend) is even less - and I became HIV+ The guys who take thousands of loads and stay HIV- are the exception, not the norm.

It's probably not a matter of people are more likely to bareback because it's X or Y night. But, the TYPE of people attracted to X or Y night may be more likely to bareback. In the end, it may lead to more bare-backing going on. But, it's not going to turn someone who wouldn't fuck raw into someone who would just because their clothes are off.

IMO if you have a girlfriend involved, don't do it. While you may be willing to accept the risks for yourself, you have no right to make that choice for your girlfriend and risk bringing something home to her, even if it is something that is treatable. That is, unless you have a kinky-open relationship with her and make her aware of what you are planning on doing, but for some-reason I doubt that's the case.

If you want to minimize the risk, then get into a monog relationship and bareback within that. Even then, that's not 0 risk, as there is always the chance of your partner cheating and bringing something home. IMO - guys who go online looking for BB sex and are expecting their partners to be either 100% sure of their status or 100% of their status are deluding themselves. Even if they are not intentionally being ignorant of their status, if they are taking part in high-risk behaviour they simply don't know. They could have tested negative 2 months ago, converted since then and are now sporting a high viral load and highly infectious - while they might not be trying to be purposefully deceptive about their status, they can't know for sure. You can try to minimize the risks, but going bareback out of a committed relationship is going to be high-risk, especially if you are being a bottom.

Not everyone has the same interests/attitudes/approaches towards hooking up online, and not every top is just looking for a 'hole to breed', and not every bottom is a 'hole wanting to be used'. The profile pics that you choose to post says something about you, and the type of person you want to attract. Maybe the guy who isn't into showing his hole on a hook-up site isn't the kind of guy you want to hook up with, and likewise - maybe your not the kind of guy he'd be into either. Not every guy is into being the kinkiest / dirtiest / sluttiest person online, or wants to hookup with people who are into that. Nothing wrong with that, variety is the spice of life and everyone doesn't need to be into everyone else. It's a preemptive filter - if a guy isn't willing to show his hole to you, and that's what you are into, then move on to the next guy who is.

A tight hole can be nice to an extent - but if its too tight, the amount of effort to penetrate can be a pain, the friction while fucking can make it more difficult to keep it in. I also like being able to do long slow strokes, or being able to pull all the way out and slide it back in - if a person is too tight this can become difficult, and almost like it forces me to go balls-deep and stick with shallow thrusts. Just the vararity if positions, speeds, depths that a loser hole allows is nice, and once they have opened up a bit it's nice knowing you can pretty do pretty much whatever you want with it without them tensing up and asking you to ease up. I'm just of average endowment also, so it's not like I have a monster-cock that needs a big hole either.

I enjoy fisting and like a sloppy hole.

It was the tops attitude once he was contacted saying that he might have something. I'm not sure how the OP worded the message, but when the response comes back " he replied that I got what I deserved and that slag bottoms deserve to get infected with all sorts." Yeah, there is personal responsibility and accepting risk - but taking that attitude as a Top and viewing bottoms as slags that deserve to catch STDs is bullshit. If he had been "oh shit, thanks for the heads up - I'll go get tested" that'd be one thing.

You would be surprised at how many people still associate poz with being 'Sick' and 'on the verge of death'. If anything, I'm now healthier than I was before finding out I was poz - there is a little extra motivation to keep an eye on my health and try to stay fit. Poz + Healthy means just that - outside of being HIV+, you don't have any other health issues, either that be other STDs/diseases/infections/whatever.

In an ideal world, where everyone knew everything about sex-education, abstinence wasn't the norm in sex-ed in parts of the country, 19yr olds were highly educated about HIV and no closeted-gay-guy was locked in a hetero-marriage sneaking out for sex behind his wives back and being too ashamed to take the necessary precautions to protect his health and his wives- then yes, I'm all for '100% personal responsibility for your own sexual health.' But we live in reality - not everyone is well educated or well informed on the risks of STD and HIV, not everyone is mature/knowledgeable enough to make smart choices and not everyone knows what to do to manage their risks. When the result of not disclosing your status is the transmission of a infectious disease, of which there is no cure - and if left untreated can be fatal, I think it's in the HIV+'s court to disclose their status - even if not asked. There are some exceptions I would have with this is in environment like saunas, dark rooms, bareback orgies, being the cumdump at a gangbang etc, or if you've hooked up off a site like 'barebackrt'. If your bending over taking raw cock in a darkroom of a bathhouse and you don't even see the face of the guy fucking you - then you accept the risk of not knowing their status. But if it's someone you've met at a bar, or another dating site and status didn't come up, or a young kid that's just coming out and doesn't know 'the sex scene' - you don't know their background, what their education/knowledge level is, and their understanding of the risks involved. They could still fall into the trap of 'Oh, he looks healthy - he must be clean.', or think they magically belong to the demographic of 'HIV doesn't affect me, it's only for those old trolls at the leather bar.' - Ignorant? yes. Deserving to be be infected and not have the HIV status of the other person disclosed? No. Hell, some times people just make a stupid mistake - there is a difference between 'I generally play safe, but had poor judgment for whatever reason/excuse' and 'I am a habitual bare-backer and the risk simply comes with the territory.' Going raw isn't some homo-exclusive act, there are many unexpected/wanted pregnancies from people who were not thinking with the right head one night when things got heated and heavy. HIV isn't something that can be treated with a few shots of penicillin to the ass, or a few weeks of antibiotics. Yes, it's treatable, your life expectancy is longer than it used to be, treatment options are easier. But, it can still have a big impact on your life, your future sex/dating options (not everyone is poz-friendly), it adds extra consideration to career options (Full benefits is now a priority for me if I look for a new job, even though there are options available to ease the cost of meds if needed). I generally played safe - like I've mentioned in another post, I can count the number of people I've gone BB with on one hand, and the number I've bottomed for is even less than that. There has been more than once in the past where I didn't fuck/get fucked because condoms were not on hand. I made a mistake one night, topic of condoms never came up, topic of status never came up - and there is the chance of if I asked, he either didn't know, or would lie (and hell - there is a good chance the guy didn't even know, I'm 90% certain of where I got it from). I take responsibility for my actions, and don't point the finger of blame anywhere but myself. That said, if your HIV+, I do think in *most* situations its your responsibility to disclose your status, honestly, even if it's not asked of you.