ErosWired

Tops. Using. Poppers. It seems like half the Tops who fuck me want to use my poppers. I tell them, “Poppers kill erections.” ”Oh, no, man, that never happens to me.” *~snifff~* Then he spends the next fifteen minutes trying to stuff his limp noodle up my cunt, and taking more hits of poppers as though that will harden him up again. Mister Top - Yes, I’m talking to you - you are not magically immune to the effects of poppers. Please, please stop.

That’s it exactly. I have an Asperger’s diagnosis. The ‘lumping’ of everything Autistic into one seamless spectrum for purposes of psychiatric convenience is by no means a widely accepted decision, and many of us still self-identify as Aspies. @hntnhole - I don’t, however, think that what I’m describing in terms of the sound of men’s voices is something I pick up on by being Autistic, other than that being Autistic forces me to be a bit more observational of other people to try to pick up on subtle cues. I don’t think I have any special ability in this regard; I think the vocal quality is there for anyone to discern. It may be that I have a good “ear” for spoken language, and that I may detect nuances, but the quality I’m talking about isn’t in the words, or the content, or their delivery. It’s not a question of affect. Timbre is the best term I can think of at the moment to describe what I mean.

My inability to cruise is baked in - it’s part of the Autism package. A guy could be signalling at me for an hour in such a way that everyone in the room is saying, “Get a room, for Christ’s sake,” and I would have no clue. Someone would have to either day something absolutely explicit to me - “I want to fuck you” - or actually grope me on my ass or crotch before I would twig that something was up. Interestingly, though, even though I can’t pick up on most nonverbal cues, I find that there’s something about the timbre of gay men’s voices that sets them apart from straight men. It’s a quality I can’t really define, but it presents regardless of whether the man is an extremely masculine, deep-voiced, straight-acting type, or a femme, willow-wand queen, or a timid submissive. I guess you could say that sometimes I can hear gayness even if I’m blind to it.

Well, I was actually thinking in terms of a golden marmoset. They’re sort of the right orangeish color, and their hands are very small.

Out of curiosity, do these extra-obliging masseurs tend to be Tops or bottoms? How do they know what additional service to offer?

One could make the argument that it was a Russian invasion of the United States - inserting itself as it did into our electoral process through attempts to manipulate the voting public - that installed Trump to begin with. The fact that Trump hopped around Putin like an organ-grinder’s monkey at every opportunity is ample evidence that Russia could consider that “mission accomplished”.

If you were a bona fide TMNT fanboy, you would also have TMNT undies, but you make no mention of this. Your credentials are questionable. The comparison is particularly apt when you consider that the call of male bullfrogs is sometimes said to sound like “Jug o’ rum. More rum.”

This question gets asked frequently by new arrivals who have not taken the time to become familiar with the forum. This topic has been answered exhaustively throughout the forum. Please use the site’s helpful Search feature to find topics already in place that address your question. Each time the question is asked, we tend to become less interested in repeating the answers, so your best source of good information will be the previous threads, many of which contain excellent advice. I will say that if you want to do it and you could but just don’t and don’t even know why, there’s nothing anybody here can do to help you with that.

A lot of my thinking during sex is centered around craft - observing each cue the Top gives off and trying to figure out the best way to cater to that man’s desire. I often feel like my mind is very busy, trying to balance all kinds of factors - internal muscle pressure, pelvic tilt, vocal control, maintaining my own pain level (when necessary), judging amount of reciprocity versus submission - everything necessary to ensure that, for that moment, the man fucking me feels and believes that he is the most potent, virile, desirable man on Earth and is receiving the reward that is his due just for being who he is, and the moment he sends his load home deep into me where it naturally belongs, he has a sense of deep fulfillment, if not triumph. There’s a lot of behind-the-scenes brainwork going on on my part trying to ensure that that happens with every Top, every time. But sometimes, especially when the Top is highly proficient and/or highly motivated (what I might call ‘low-maintenance’) and is fucking me with a degree of mastery of his own craft, I do find myself thinking in sort of existential terms about myself in that position, and realize, He’s breeding me. Another man is breeding me like an animal. I don’t know who this man is, but he’s inside me and is about to fill me with his seed, and he can do that because that’s what I’m for. Thought that arise like that during sex are like suddenly seeing myself from the outside being fucked and saying, “Look! See? I told you this is what you were made for, and this is the proof! You’re a whore and you’re so good at being a whore that that man is about to cum inside you. Told you so. You’ve been cunted so many times you’re just a cunt now. You know those guys who used to call you a faggot? They were right. You just didn’t know it.” That’s the sort of thing that sometimes runs through my head while I’m being rutted, and it reinforces itself each time.

This ^. Or, for that matter, for a Top to go about randomly inserting his latex-covered phallus into men’s potentially allergic holes and rubbing it vigorously back and forth. It’s unrealistic to expect complete safety in a room full of males in full rut where everyone is functionally blind, deaf and mute. You have to go in willing to endure a certain amount of hazard and risk that might not otherwise occur if people could see what they’re doing and discuss it. But in a darkroom, there is zero opportunity for negotiated coupling - no chance to set parameters, indicate preferences, set boundaries. Therefore, when you go in, you can only operate off assumptions based on what must be logically true for any man you may encounter. Among these: * He wants sex, either oral or anal * He is willing * He will accept most any partner * No source of light is acceptable * No generally audible communication is acceptable (aside from sex noises) * Bottoms will be prepped before entering the venue (necessary to avoid sanitary conditions that would require closure of the venue for cleaning) * No one entering the venue will be involuntarily exposed to a potentially harmful object or substance - this would encompass being surprised by a condom if you have an allergy equally as much as someone smoking meth or pot in the space I’m sure there are other ‘unspoken rules’ that logically derive (including that one does not speak the Unspoken Rules whilst in the room), but I would think that ignoring a potential latex allergy is among them. I think it’s perfectly fine to simply push away the guy with the condom and find someone else - the room is full of someone else. If this happens enough, perhaps the guy will learn that one doesn’t offer condoms in a darkroom.

So, you’re saying that basically once or twice a year you work yourself up to actually messaging someone to hook up, and you tell him you want it bare, you then back out? What you’re saying is you just told him you wanted it when in fact you weren’t okay with it. But you’re also telling us that even though you’re not okay with making the decision to take the risk to have bareback sex yourself, you want someone else to force that risk on you because you really do want to take it bare. 😐 Brother, I’ve got to tell you, that’s some messed up, there. If you’re not man enough to take responsibility for your own choices and your own sexual risk, then you have no business fucking around with other men’s sex lives. You want to be raped? No, you don’t. You want somebody to fuck you bare while you pretend to be raped because that way you can say you “didn’t have a choice” but to take it bare - and lay the blame on the Top who just gave you exactly what you wanted. Besides, you can’t “want to get raped” - you can’t rape the willing. If you ever find yourself being actually raped, you won’t want any part of it. But how does being “raped” make the risk any different? It’s the same risk, you’re just trying to make someone else take the responsibility for it for some bizarre reason. To answer your original question, in this context, it is possible to encounter a Top who is short on ethics and will impose his desire to bareback on you. You mention putting on and then “rolling off” a condom - that’s usually considered stealthing, and us now a crime in some jurisdictions. But yes, there are morally challenged men who will load you up given the chance. Given the chance. It doesn’t sound like that’s likely to happen with you, though - by your account, you don’t even attempt to hook up more than a couple of times a year, and when you do, you never actually close the deal for a fuck. Following that pattern, it’s never going to happen, and here’s why: Because to make it happen, you have to decide to take the risk. Even if you tell yourself you aren’t taking the risk because you’ll be forced, you’ll never be in a position to be forced unless you make a decision to do it, and that means a decision to take the risk. You can’t escape the responsibility for making that choice if you want the sex. It’s as simple as that.

I’m confused. Are you saying that you want Tops to bareback you, but if they know that you want them to you won’t meet with them? That you want it but you don’t want it unless you’re forced to take what you actually crave? That in order for the fuck to happen the Top has to think he’s got to coerce you? Or stealth you? What exactly do you mean by “push the envelope?” You say that you want it bare, so what envelope is there to push unless you’re playing some hard-to-get game to try to manipulate Tops into aggressive behavior, which I think most Tops would find tiresome and annoying. Perhaps I’m totally misreading the question, and you might be able to restate it in a different way.

Exactly. Unlike in Direct Cinema in which the subject and audience seem essentially unaware of the presence of the camera, these men are very much aware of the camera’s eye and stare so directly into it that we get to peer in through the window of their lusts with an unobstructed view. There’s a point about midway through the Top’s performance when he glances at the camera with an animal’s eye. Riveting. Although this is undeniably a performance for the camera, at some point this Top stops performing and obeys the call of his instincts, and we watch that play out because we can see it in his face. The French Cinéma Vérité means ‘Truth Cinema’ and these guys are telling the fucking truth.

The trust and respect is not always both ways. There are men out there who feel entitled to use a bottom and have scant respect for his rights, wishes, comfort or well-being. There are men out there whose sexual gratification is increased by the degree to which they can cause a bottom pain. There are men out there who are callous pricks only interested in getting their nut and view any ass as a means to an end. There are men out there who don’t care if they have an STD and don’t care if they give a bottom one - or think it’s fun to. There are men out there who will try to intoxicate, drug, and/or hypnotize a bottom to coerce submission. There are men out there who will rape, rob, and traffick a bottom, and not lose a minute’s sleep over it. To some degree, I have experienced all of the above. The most recent Top I serviced robbed me after he fucked me. To suggest that a younger bottom can always trust an older Top to respect and ‘look after’ him is dangerously naïve advice in the world of mansex. Trust is earned, and the wise bottom carefully weighs his risk in dealing with a man he does not know.

It’s not anatomically possible for you to “burp up cum” through your esophagus that had been introduced into your body via your anus. In order for it to make that trip, it would have to travel against the positive forward force of your digestive process, which would require it to have a form of propulsion, which it doesn’t. Plus, it would have to circumvent the obstacles posed by waste matter blocking the passage at various points along the way, defeat one-way valves and sphincters, and survive passing through a sea of stomach acid. Plus, your large intestine is about five feet long and your small intestine is about 22 feet long, so by the time you add in the stomach and the esophagus, that load would have to travel nearly 30 feet against all that resistance to end up in your burp. In short, you’re either imagining it, or forgetting that you gave the previous guy a blowjob. Now, it’s possible that your nose is fooling your tongue. What we perceive as taste is highly influenced by our sense of smell, so if you happened to burp whilst a top has your cunt so churned that the fragrance of cum hangs in the air (a highly desirable state of affairs) then you may well feel that you can “taste it”. But it’s not coming up from the depths of your ass and out your mouth.

By contrast, this is what you enjoy when face is unblurred and full range of expression is on display: [think before following links] https://newtumbl.com/x_jSDk15tvp2QP (Thanks to @DenverBtmDude for bringing this to our attention.)

That’s actually the first thing that came to my mind. If you can get men to agree to be in videos but they don’t want faces shown, I wouldn’t think it would be that hard to convince them to wear a hood or a mask. Well - these days, maybe so…some people get ridiculous if you suggest they put on a mask…

I’m 55 and I have a face made for radio. I’m not overweight, but my body is unremarkable. I go to bathhouses. I get a room, I leave the door open, men come in and fuck me. It can be done. Yes, your age will limit your potential; it’s unfortunate, but the overripe fruit at the grocery isn’t usually anyone’s first choice, is it? Still, there are plenty of men who prefer older men, and if you do a search here you’ll find whole topics discussing what it’s like being an older bottom today. Yes, your weight will unfortunately limit your potential also, but there are men positively attracted to chubbiness, so there is potential. The key to feeling successful in a bathhouse visit is to set reasonable expectations for yourself - if you go in expecting men to form a line at your door to breed you nonstop for hours, you’re almost certainly going to go home disappointed; that almost never happens. But if you go in thinking that any encounter would be great, and you’re going to enjoy yourself no matter what happens, then you’ll be fine. However. Shy, bashful and reserved will get you absolutely nowhere in a bathhouse, and is a great combo for going home unfucked. If you’re going to do this, you’re going to have to first get over whatever hangups are keeping you in your shell, because mansex is a full-contact, mix-it-up, free-for-all hullabaloo of a pursuit, and if you expect to get anything out of it you’re going to have to jump in with both feet. Buck naked. With a grin. You can’t hang back and wait for them to come pluck you off the wall, because they won’t. There’s a roiling sea of ass out here - hordes of hungry bottoms and nowhere near enough Tops to meet the need. If you want some of it, you’re going to have to be competitive, and by that I mean you’re going to have to make sure you stand out from the crowd. There’s nothing special about me at all that anyone can see at a glance, so I just throw myself out there as though I’m Michaelangelo’s David come to life and let the confidence pull them to me - once I have them, my ass is all I need to seal the deal, because the ass is good. That’s the other thing. If you’re new at this, you probably have some things to figure out about how to bottom successfully, from cleaning out for use to conditioning your hole, lubes to use…I recommend spending some time searching through and reading the Topics on this forum rather than spending time asking broad questions on basic subjects - I assure you, just about anything you could think to ask has been covered here at some point, an likely multiple times. The search function on the site is quite robust and useful.

When you say, “take dick with no issue in front of the bar” I take you to mean that you’re being fucked openly in plain view of other bar patrons. One is inclined to point out that if you’re engaged in anal coitus in a public room full of people, you really don’t have a lot of latitude to complain that people are talking about it. But I’ll take the question at face value. On the one hand, you’re perfectly within your rights to approach your friends and simply explain that what they’re doing bothers you, and why, and ask them to stop. If you don’t, you can’t continue being annoyed with them for doing something they don’t even know troubles you. On the other hand, you are presenting a public spectacle. I’ve been there and done that, in different venues, and providing your sex for public view inherently invites public reaction and comment. What if it were not your friends, but instead some unknown bystanders who were doing the cheering and commenting about you and your fuck? Would that have the same effect on you? Because you can’t very well ask those people to be quiet and let you have your very public fuck on your own terms - they’re going to say what they’re going to say. If it’s just the fact that your friends are commenting about you, then consider that the problem might not be with them, but with something unresolved in your own head that places too much weight on what they’re saying or how they say it or how you think they perceive you. If you can figure out why their behavior bothers you, you might be able to get past it without having to confront them - and after all, they’re cheering for you.

It should be relatively simple - if you fuck him hard and fast enough to make his head snap back and forth uncontrollably, his face should never be still long enough for the camera to get a clear shot of it. 😀

There’s nothing wrong with @1999bottom’s reply per se - in fact, it was an exact illustration of the point I was trying to make in (A) above. The issue is the context: This is the HIV & Sexual Health Board, the one place alone on the site not given over entirely to wanton smutfuckery, and the one place where thoughtlessly encouraging someone to abandon safe sex practices without even a nod to the consequences is not appropriate. I take your point about acknowledging temptation and moving on to risk reduction, and agree - it’s sort of what I was trying to get at talking about willpower above. But the post in question short-circuited that process by swooshing in with a ‘Just Do It’ imperative that calls for no thought as to consequence. Literally anywhere else on the Forum, that comment would have been perfectly suitable and welcome - after all, most respondents here will likely reply saying essentially the same thing. And, given the caveats I’ve added, I don’t even disagree with him. But I’m not going to try to take a guy who might be balanced on top of a fence between safety and risk and give him a push by telling him what I think he should do. Safe sex is a totally personal decision. Just trying to help keep this board from losing it’s important focus.

Thank you for that carefully thought-out and helpful contribution to the HIV and Sexual Health Forum.

A couple of things. A) You’re asking this question on a site whose focus is the promotion of bareback sex, so you should not expect most responses to give your question serious thought. Most are simply going to tell you that bareback is the only way, there’s nothing to be afraid of, once you do it you’ll never want anything else, etc. It’s like walking into a cathedral and asking whether you should worship God or the devil - you’re pretty much going to get one answer (here, people mostly consider condoms the work of the devil). B) Almost any bareback Top will tru to seduce you to want to go bare in some way or another. This guy is just being refreshingly honest. Get used to it. C) Your body belongs to you. You are the one who gets to decide how far you’ll go to keep it safe, and how much risk you’re willing to take. If you insist on protected sex, that should be the final word. You do not have to succumb to attempts at seduction. If you stand your ground, a bareback Top may decline to fuck you, and you should be prepared for that. If you stand your ground and he forces you to take him raw, that’s a rape. D) Bareback sex is not a safe activity, and cannot be made 100% free from risk of contracting HIV or other STDs. Before you contemplate taking someone bare, you should prepare your body to the greatest extent possible by getting vaccinated for all STDs for which vaccines are available, getting on PrEP and using it as directed, and make sure you are tested regularly - this is a necessary part of playing in the bareback arena. Then, if you are infected, get prompt treatment. If you choose to have bareback sex, you will ultimately have STDs. But you treat them and carry on with life. E) Willpower. Should you meet this man who plans to make you drop your resistance via seduction? How much willpower do you have? Me, I’m stubborn as a team of mules when I set my mind to something, and you can seduce me all you want but it’s not going to change my mind. If you know you don’t really want to go bare but aren’t sure you have the willpower to resist his seduction, then no, you probably shouldn’t go - he may very well prevail and breed you. If, on the other hand, you actually kind of do want to take it bare and you’re only asking this question because you want someone to validate a decision you’ve already made but feel guilty about making (as I rather suspect), then see (D) above, and take responsibility for your own choices.

I think you meant the sites and people the right holds up, rather than the left, did you not?

I’ve never understood how this sort of thing happens (outside of a bathhouse/sex club venue) where the masseur could be serving clients who are straight more often than not, and would run a risk of a negative reaction to any kind of sexual advance. How would he know that the client he’s working on was a candidate for ‘special attention’?