tried out 4 counselors with different approaches. The sole outcome is that I am feeling even worser and depressed. I know well what is counselor's task. It turned out that a mix of deviant behaviors are due to some past and present social stress/ptsd that, even explicated, won't help to overcome them.
I cannot say how much of disfunctionality I am aware of. Maybe there is much disfunctionality still buried somewhere that drives me to gel sleazy, or, subconsciously, I refuse to accept some bullshit psychologists say. I.e. they can't tell me: you're done for. They will tell me: you are always worth something, even if objectively it is not true.