blackrobe

Your overall point is well taken. We are in the realm of evolutionary biology here, so it's not about feelings or a mind-set. I used the word instincts above deliberately as it's the closest I could come to asking about what impulse we might get from our most basic "reptile brain" where our deeply instinctive drives come from. It's no surprise that we are mostly not aware of them at all except when they drive risky behavior that we look back on and wonder why we did that. Fucking is the powerful drive - passing on our DNA is just something that happens when we do. I was wondering whether there was an instinct about evacuating previous breeders seed or whether our basic instinct to fuck hard and deep plus the natural selection of males with a more pronounced coronal ridge (better removing competing seed) resulted in their sperm being more competitive and successful. Less effective penis morphologies just didn't get passed on as much as the most effective ones with a larger coronal ridge.

A few things come to mind. Firstly, I hope you are getting some self care and talking to a professional about what is provoking your feelings and reactions to other men's experiences here. I'm not clear on what you mean by "sexualizing" the experience since it's already sex. The much older partners sexually assaulted these boys under the law in most jurisdictions. I'm guessing you mean either reliving and re-enacting the experience with similar male archetypes, or making an adaptation to their experience that allows them to cope and process what they experienced and how it has affected them. The former is concerning since it's an on-going cycle of retraumatization. The latter is where the survivor finds a way to integrate what happened to them into their lives in a way that is positive for them. That's how I'd characterize my experience after having been drugged and raped by a mid to late 40s man when I was a 12 year old. Being sexually, physically, or emotionally abused makes you many times more likely than the general population to have poor physical and mental health outcomes throughout your life. This kind of abuse is a problem for all of humanity, not just a gay community problem. I was raped by a straight identifying member of a religious order. Sadly, young gay and queer boys can be easy for predatory men to spot and take advantage of. Some of these young boys grow to become part of the gay community so that's where the aftermath of poor outcomes lands. I know many straight men who've had the same experience but who suffer in silence. Yes, it's a common tactic for abusers who are confronted with their abuse to attack the credibility of the survivor based on the terrible impact the abuse has had on them (addiction, homelessness, mental health challenges, etc.). All institutions where abuse happens end up in this pattern of attacking and discrediting them. There are lots of factors that give drinking and drug use the place it has in the gay community, the abuse we experience as children is just one of many.

I keep an eye on research topics of interest and I found one that is pretty fascinating. It discusses the penis as a semen displacement device, how penis length, shape, and ejaculation pressure may play a part in competition to impregnate females. After reading it, I started to wonder about the instincts of top breeders when fucking a recently bred bottom. I've noticed when I have multiple loads in my ass, and especially when men have watched other men fuck them inside me, subsequent men seem to fuck vigorously and I always end up with a pool of mixed seed on the sheets and floor under where they mounted and fucked me. I wonder if they are responding to an instinct to evacuate my hole of previous seed before they plant their own. So, top breeders, what are your instincts when you're fucking a recently bred hole? Does your fuck pull all the previous seed out before yours is bred inside? Do you just enjoy the cummy hole or is there some evolutionary sperm competition creeping in? Also, how do you think the size and shape of your dick and the coronal ridge contribute to whether the seed stays in or gets fucked out?

Please continue...

I have a time/distance travel rule. Ideally, the play is twice as long as the round drip travel time, but never less than the round trip travel time. 30 minute each way needs to be between 1 (minimum) and 2 hours of play. If I get pushback I tell them if I'm making a commitment of my time and resources, they need to make a corresponding commitment of their time and effort. I had a character on Sniffies tell me he had a proposal for me. He asked me to pick up a traveling guy he wanted to play with from his place and drive him to the hosts place. That was a 45 minute one-way trip. He didn't say what was in it for me, so I asked him what the inducement would be. It hadn't occurred to him he'd need one! He muddled about and said that I could watch. It astounds me what some guys have the gall, the effrontery, to expect from strangers. I passed.

What you're describing here is not a "typical sub" in my experience, it's a bossy BDSM bottom (not at all submissive) who has confused what he wants with actual power exchange. Nor is the performative domination you describe what actual power exchange usually looks like. These bottoms are either ignorant, manipulative, or fundamentally misunderstand what submission is. A typical submissive bottom is there for whatever experience the top requires. Good alignment in interests can make the experience better for both, but it's not usually what drives a submissive bottom. They want to please the top as the first order goal. Wilde was right, "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." Meaning there are power dynamics at play in all sex. What you describe as using a bottom definitely has elements of your control and your desires being met your way. Lots of bottoms who don't identify as submissive will *love* that energy from a top. How you deliver that use determines whether it's read as demanding, selfish, piggy, dominant, etc. You can be a cumdump without being submissive and vice versa, but plenty of bottoms become cumdumps because of their submissive journey.

Welcome! You're the dad we all want to help out with our hungry asses.

I think the point is that there is nothing wrong with you. Whether you are just curious and exploring, or whether this is a part of your sexual evolution, you're totally okay.

bdsmlr doesn't render any content in my feed, just ads. I've researched, flushed caches, tried different browsers, etc. but it's worthless on Safari and Chrome on MacOS.

No, not at all.

... is the correct answer!

...aaaand now I have questions.

There are plenty of asymptomatic STIs that you wouldn't know to test for. That's the reason regular testing periods are the gold standard. Not having symptoms of an STI does not equal being STI negative.

Dentists are very poorly trained, both in what the varied clinical uses of Truvada and Descovy are, and in how to communicate and ask questions about them. I went to the UW Dental School clinic and they assumed I was HIV+ after seeing Descovy in my meds (even though it wasn't in my history) and when I explained that it was used for PrEP and how it worked they had no idea about it and didn't believe me. I spoke to one of the supervising instructors and told them that the students need to be better educated for their clinical work? Also, how was it that the UW Student Health people hadn't educated their students about PrEP as an personal option for all sexually active students?

To me, the topic title and the contents of the topic aren't the same subject. For me, "a man I don't like" isn't about their looks at all. It's about them being unkind, an asshole, etc. In other words it's about their behavior and impact on others, not their looks. Now if it had said, "a man I don't find attractive" I'd have understood. When you're presenting your ass with the door open in the bathhouse, you don't know who they are, or anything about their character. Just what you might glimpse in the dim light as they rub their meaty cock over your hole and dip it inside you. If I recognize an unkind/asshole guy or someone makes me feel unsafe I'll wave them off, but otherwise all men get hole. It's how they fuck me and how much they enjoy themselves that determines how I end up feeling about, and remembering them.

In the absence of a CNC negotiation, hell yes.

Deep impregnation for the win.

Drugged and raped, so very negative.

Squirt.org is dead. They're being outcompeted more broadly, their in-person cruising niche has less and less value as cruising becomes more online, with less users their user sources cruising data gets more stale and less useful, and their user experience is so old it's kind of embarrassing. They're also compromising that user experience with all kinds of annoying ad email (I suspect to try and keep the lights on). Unless they have a brilliant pivot they haven't signaled, it's a matter of time before they sell their cruising location data or fade away.

While I'm into watching an attitude adjusting fuck, I'm not wired to administer it. Nor will the change in attitude be enduring. Men like this often pendulum swing hard back into their usually behavior (seeing the way you spelled this word made me a little homesick) as a way of invalidating that kind of experience.

Incidentally, these kinds of men are repellant to me and they end up on my "unfuckable" list.

Interesting. He reads as manipulative, sexually predatory, and controlling. The impression I get is that he has an underlying insecurity and enjoys having power over others.

When they say they are not sure, what they are really saying is "we haven't done the research yet". In the beginning, the HPV vaccine was only for girls before they became sexually active (9-12 years) and they were only focusing on cervical cancer. Then they realized it was boys of similar age that might give HPV to them, and that men were getting HPV related cancers in the mouth, throat, dick, and ass, so eventually boys were included too. Then they gradually studied more age groups and saw that there were benefits. Doctors serving gay men knew it would be important to give to any sexually active gay male. Anyone who knows basic probability can see there is benefit to being vaccinated for HPV regardless of life-stage. 150 strains overall, 50 genital strains, 13 or so cancer causing. Imagine being the guy who caught one of the cancer-causing strains *after* he let his (ignorant/sex-negative/homophobic) doctor talk him out of getting the HPV vaccine. Fuck that noise. Be your own advocate and insist on it.

I think of what tops grab with their hands as they thrust inside me as my ass, and what tops stretch open with their cock and that enfolds them fully while they thrust as my hole. Most every top has an erotic context and name for our asses and holes. I'm happy to hear them call my ass and hole whatever names get them erotically fired up to breed. The most frequent I hear used are hole, pussy, and cunt. The most frequent prefixes for those names are slut, whore, cumdump, dad/daddy, and boy. Some men like white and pink as additional prefixes as well. What turns them on works for me.

Agreed. Preventative health care such as vaccines should be covered and at no out of pocket expense. Check with your local health authorities if you get any resistance from an insurance company.