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negchaser, I think practice makes perfect. Being really into the guy you're fucking helps, too! I usually like to drop two loads in a bottom. I'll either pull out and make out with him for 10 minutes while I get hard again, or stay inside and fuck with a gentle motion until I'm recharged. As others have commented, fucking a hole you've already cummed in can be a great feeling. I find it warm and silky, and it turns me on to know that I've injected my DNA into the guy and will be adding more. Sometimes my first orgasm will be really fast and intense, and in other cases, the second one will be. One other point: always relax and enjoy the fuck without putting pressure on yourself! If you breed twice, great, and if not, it was still fun!

Chrome is worth supporting but Firefox has become a bloated, slow, sucky browser over the years. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

First, thanks for the update! The new site is more attractive, and the new software has potential. As more and more people access Web sites from mobile devices, Apple's Safari browser on the iPhone being the largest single medium, it's important to check page layouts on that platform. The new site is better, but some pages still don't render correctly or usably in Safari on the iPhone. I also notice that some meaningful user interface idioms have been lost. For example, in reading other people's comments just now, I noticed that there was no indication of how far I had scrolled, or had yet to scroll, through the long thread. A visual scroll bar isn't needed anymore, as sliding one's finger up or down at the right does the job, but a scroll indicator is still needed, to help users judge their reading progress.

After STD treatment, I abstain from sex for seven days, as recommended by the US Centers for Disease Control. I do not have to wait for diagnosis. San Francisco City Clinic performs microscopy on urine samples while patients wait. Tentative diagnosis allows for immediate dispensing of antibiotics for chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. (Of course, samples are also sent to a laboratory for specific testing.) No conventional medical facility in the US would bother to take out a microscope for this purpose. Samples would be sent to a laboratory, patients would be sent home, and infected patients would have to return for treatment. The conventional approach is stupid, because many patients never return. The inconvenience of having to return for treatment is in and of itself a deterrent to testing! The CDC's STD treatment guidelines mention "patients who have erratic healthcare-seeking behavior". To minimize waiting, find a medical facility that truly understands the work and the clientele. At minimum, ask to leave with a prescription that you will fill only in case of a positive test result, and be sure that the facility makes test results available conveniently, via a confidential Web site. As an aside, giving you medication for your known sexual partner(s) is also part of the CDC guidelines.

There is essentially no risk, as long as your HIV-positive partner really does maintain an undetectable viral load. (This means regular medical visits, scrupulous adherence to his drug regimen, and open communication between the two of you.) Preliminary results from the PARTNER study showed not a single HIV transmission from condomless sex between partners in sero-discordant relationships, provided that the HIV-positive partner maintained an undetectable viral load. http://mobile.aidsmap.com/No-one-with-an-undetectable-viral-load-gay-or-heterosexual-transmits-HIV-in-first-two-years-of-PARTNER-study/page/2832748

Not a single discernible side effect here, in over a year of daily use of Truvada for PrEP.

Pre-loaded is the way to go. Cum is so much better than lube! During a threesome I usually ask the other top to go first so that I can enjoy the feel of his warm, silky cum in the bottom's ass.

Not only do I respect it, but I also admire it, it turns me on, and I actually seek out "slutty" bottoms to date! Here's why. Sex is a major goal for most relationships, and yet we're conditioned to seek innocent, pure, asexual mates. Straight men, for example, are told to want virgins, and yet they get frustrated when those virgins are unenthusiastic about sucking cock. Now that gay marriage is sweeping the US and western Europe, the same social pressures are beginning to operate on gay men. Forty years ago it was apparently typical to go to bathhouses and cruising spots. Relationships started on the basis of demonstrated sexual compatibility. It was also fine, within gay social circles, not to be in a relationship. Now, because marriage is possible, straight people accept and relate to gay men in traditional-pattern marriages, and we Cinderella-obsessed fags revere our friends who are married (even if we know that Husband A is chronically lonely or that Husband B keeps a secret Grindr profile). If I want good, frequent, and varied sex to be part of my relationship, I need to choose a man who has a demonstrated history of having good, frequent and varied sex, and I need to choose a form of relationship where that good, frequent, and varied sex can continue -- with me and with other men. Sluts are people who have proven that they like sex. For me, you are marriage material!

As others have suggested, if oral sex were an effective way of transmitting HIV, almost all gay men would be Poz by now. That was also the official line at a University of California, San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies / San Francisco Department of Public Health talk given years ago, in which researchers presented order-of-magnitude HIV transmission risk estimates for different sex acts/positions. Still, there are a few known cases. If HIV is your only concern and no other lines of defense are available (an oral top with an undetectable viral load, or PrEP for yourself), it pays to mind the health of your gums, to wait a while after brushing and flossing, and to abstain from sucking if you have any sores in your mouth or on your lips. It's also important to be tested regularly for STDs other than HIV, because they can increase the risk of HIV transmission. The Stop AIDS Project used to say, "Swallow or spit, just don't let it sit." We were told that there was a slight advantage to spitting. Very frankly, as an anal top who also loves to suck, I always swallow, because it's my job. When I'm in the mood to get sucked, if a guy says he doesn't swallow, I will hide signs of impending orgasm and silently get the first spurt in his mouth, sometimes hold his head and give him the whole load (if he's been sending mixed signals) -- or sometimes just find a proper cocksucker.

To add to, "Warning: Barebacking is addictive," here's a parody warning that I saw posted yesterday at a local watering hole: "Drinking beer, wine or distilled spirits can cause pregnancy."

I would consider remarrying if I met a bottom guy who liked to come home with strangers' loads. Though I would want to take a little taste, I would try to leave most inside. Cum is the best lube, after all! At the end of the night, I'd enjoy tasting mine and the other top's when my partner kissed me after cleaning up all the frothy cum from my dick with his tongue.

I think watching bareback porn does make men want to try barebacking, if they don't already do it. As for a warning label, I think it would be silly. It's hard to imagine a series of labels that would have the same impact as the ones that the US Surgeon General slaps on cigarette cartons. How about this? "Warming: Barebacking is addictive."

Titus, you describe your transition from safe sex to barebacking so erotically! To me condoms are erotic when they are filled with an unknown man's cum, but not, of course, if I am wearing one while fucking. As a top I find that most of the bottoms I meet will let me penetrate them bare, no matter what their stated position on safe sex. Sometimes it takes a little negotiation. A technique I use is to have a condom in view, for reassurance. "I can stop any time and put it on. Just tell me when." Of course, as I say those words, I am doing everything I can to please and distract the bottom. Occasionally, a guy will ask me to pull out before I cum. I'll pull out after the first spurt, secure in the knowledge that my precum and part of my load is inside him. He'll be reassured by seeing that I'm cumming outside.

Looking at it from a different angle, calculating risk reduction in the medical studies very much depends on frequency of sex, positin (top/bottom), and partner HIV status. For example, if a participant had no risky sex during a study, PrEP didn't prevent him from becoming infected. On the other hand, if a participant who reported bottoming for numerous Poz or unknown-status guys remained HIV-negative, PrEP (plus anti-retrovirals used by some of the known-Poz tops) had a strong protective effect. That is why the original iPrEx study quoted two risk reduction percentages for participants who adhered: 92% unadjusted 95% adjusted for sexual risk behavior My theory is that shame leads us to under-report risky sexual behavior. If this is true, then the 95% figure was an underestimate. In any case, the point is moot now because, as noted earlier in this thread, the more recent iPrEx OLE study found 100% risk reduction with good adherence. iPrEX OLE used very sophisticated techniques to check adherence, which, as you say, is the critical variable. Understanding the efficacy of Truvada for PrEP is simple: no medication works if you don't take it!

My biggest bareback fantasy would be to stealth and poz a guy who was in an outwardly perfect gay marriage, intended to be monogamous. I'd be friends with both guys, except that the other guy wouldn't know that his husband and I were fucking. He would be the top at home, but would bottom for me. Once he became infected, he'd finally have to tell his husband. I am always curious to discover people's hidden, repressed desires. I like to help people express those desires, so that the desires can be experienced and enjoyed. Playing with guys who "cheat" (to say that there is such a thing as "cheating" strikes me as infantile, because we don't own our boyfriends, they don't own us, and we are all attracted to multiple men) is a huge turn-on. Convincing them to bareback is even better. No, it's not a fantasy I could or would ever act on, because it would be unethical to poz someone without consent, and because I'm neg.

I'm going to take a contrarian position and say that bareback sex has always been the norm. Even at the height of the HIV epidemic, some of a person's sexual contact was still bare -- perhaps with a boyfriend, a trusted fuckbuddy, or an irresistibly hot trick. It's just that very few of us admitted it. Condom use must have increased due to outreach campaigns. I imagine that it is now declining. As far as HIV is concerned (but not all other STDs, of course), the science is coming down firmly on the side of TasP (Treatment as Prevention) and PrEP. The biggest reason to use condoms -- fear of getting HIV -- is disappearing. Bareback sex is the new norm, and was the old, if unspoken, norm.

I can't believe that the efficacy of PrEP is still under debate, or that anyone would consult a non-medical reference like Slate.com. Google "iPrEx OLE", from about two weeks ago! End of story.

I like bottoms who submit. One time at Steamworks Berkeley, I was in a cubicle in the maze and my bottom guy was bending over to get fucked, all within two minutes of our first (and only) words and first kiss, in the hot tub. He didn't ask about condoms, HIV, or my name (though we did end up exchanging numbers). He made it clear that he was there to get fucked. Similarly, at Folsom Gulch, a guy who seemed shy at first exposed his ass and turned around to face the wall as soon as we entered the booth. Had he not done that, I might have coaxed him for a few minutes, but then I would have left in search of one of the other bottoms walking around that night. Again, there were no questions before he took my bare dicj. I also like bottoms who are willing to get fucked in view of others. "Want to go back to my room?" is as much of a turn-off as "Do you have a condom?" If I wanted to fuck in private, I would have stayed home! The bottoms who get the most loads seem to find spots with just the right balance of visibility and privacy.

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and became aware years ago of the top-notch HIV prevention and HIV treatment services available in San Francisco proper. I also like to read medical studies and understand the science behind diseases and drugs. Sadly, just across the Bay from San Francisco, neither private doctors nor the fragmented public health "system" (consisting of clinics for the indigent and contracts with Planned Parenthood, mostly for middle-class straight teen couples afraid of pregnancy) have sufficient experience or current knowledge in the field of HIV. This side of the Bay, I watched a friend who had seroconverted wait many months to start ARV therapy. Research has clearly demonstrated the benefits of early treatment. As often as I could without damaging our friendship, I begged and pleaded with him to visit San Francisco City Clinic. A year later, his private East Bay doctor finally put him on meds. Similarly, I watched a 23-year-old friend seroconvert this spring, after I'd told him last summer about PrEP. He would have had to go to San Francisco to get it conveniently. (Even Kaiser Permanente, which operates a well-organized PrEP program in its San Francisco medical office, employs suburban doctors who don't know about PrEP and can't be bothered to look it up on the internal computer system, make a phone call, or condescend to a Google search. Such was my ex's experience at Kaiser Oakland last summer.) Though I'm not responsible for what happened to either friend, I feel responsible. Could I have exerted more influence, given that I knew, medically-speaking, what to do and where to go? Lack of knowledge, coupled with an accident of geography, has damaged my friends' health. I've decided to be more vocal with people I care about, from now on. You are doing the right thing by bringing up HIV treatment with your friend. Be persistent. It's a sad to contemplate, but his getting frustrated with your advice might end the friendship, which might in turn serve as a wake-up call, bringing him one step closer to seeing a doctor.

If you like your PCP for routine medical care, don't be shy, ask her again! It could be as simple as bringing a copy of the FDA's Truvada for PrEP prescribing guidelines (easy to get on the Web). You could even bring references to the iPrEx and iPrEx OLE studies (again available on the Web). If she's a good doctor, her ego can't be so big that she'd be closed to new information. On the other hand, steer clear of her for any medical care if she really isn't able to negotiate the online journal database at your nearest medical library, let alone perform a Google search.

Just for curisity's sake, can you let us know whether by "super-sensitive" your doctor means: 1. A 4th-generation HIV antibody test (a traditional-type test that nevertheless detects antibodies earlier than past versions did), 2. A qualitative PCR HIV RNA viral load test (which detects copies of the HIV virus in the blood, but yields a yes/no answer instead of a number, the number's being useful for tracking the health of an HIV-positive patient), or 3. A pooled qualitative HIV viral load test (where your sample is divided into two parts, one part is set aside and the other part is mixed with other patients' samples, the pool is tested as in Option 2, and individual samples are only tested if the pool was positive; this is slightly less sensitive than a non-pooled design)? Abstinence is futile with option 2, which detects HIV in a matter of days. In any case, if you're having sex with known, communicative, health-aware partners -- including positive men who are undetectable -- ask yourself whether you'd really be incurring much risk if you continued fucking during those two weeks. I wasn't asked to abstain before starting PrEP. My intake testing involved Option 3, in advance, and then a rapid HIV antibody test and questions about symptoms of acute infection, on the day I received my first Truvada prescription. Had I been asked to abstain, I know what choice I would have made.

The Gilead programs (there are three: full payment for patients without prescription coverage; routine out-of-pocket reimbursement up to $200 per month; and reimbursement over $200 per month, by application) apply only to US patients not participating in governmemt health plans such as VA, Medicare or Medicaid/Medi-Cal. In Canada, PrEP remains an off-label use of Truvada. If you have supplementary health insurance, it is possible that your insurer will cover the cost. (For Americans: Canada's provincial health insurance plans cover medical services but have never covered outpatient prescription drugs. Separate programs do cover drugs for seniors and low-income earners. In the same way that most Americans rely on employer-sponsored insurance for all medical care, Canadians rely on it for prescriptions.)

I'm undecided on rimming. I do it when I'm highly attracted to the guy I'm fucking, and when I see that it brings him pleasure. Sadly, I have a short tongue so I'm not very good at it. Although I've never believed that sex can or should be a sterile, antiseptic activity, I do worry about the risk of digestive parasites, which is real. I've had two GI surgeries, so I know what it's like when your GI tract shuts down for any reason. As for getting rimmed, I either enjoy it mildly or find that it tickles. Inevitably, I reach a point where I'd prefer that he use his mouth to suck my dick or to kiss me.

With respect to this comment and to a similar comment from another poster, a person's choice to use PrEP benefits others. It is a choice that is both self-regarding and other-regarding. In an epidemiological context, an action that reduces disease transmission and accelerates disease detection benefits the entire susceptible population. High vaccination rates, for example, reduce exposure even for people who refuse to be vaccinated. (And conversely, each refusal increases risk for others.) PrEP is effective at preventing HIV transmission, and there's no need to go back over the study evidence here or to split hairs about effectiveness rates in the upper nineties. What no one mentions in the public debate is the FDA prescribing guidelines. The FDA tells doctors to order quarterly HIV and STD tests when prescribing PrEP. Some health providers, like Kaiser -- one of the USA's largest -- require monthly tests. More people getting more tests means that HIV and other STDs will be caught sooner, treated, and not transmitted further. Remember that we are talking about diseases whose early symptoms are ambiguous and often not evident at all. It is very easy to sway individuals against trying PrEP, and it would be easy to sway public opinion against insurance coverage, further research, continued FDA approval, or continued CDC or WHO recommendation. Remember that the USA still forbids use of federal government money for abortion, still forbids use of foreign aid money for contraception, twice delayed the availability of the morning after pill, etc., etc. Efforts to spread fear and doubt about PrEP, masked as voicing "opinions", are unethical. We can't stop them, but we need to respond with medical science each time. Another poster mentioned that the idea of taking medication for prevention was foreign to him. Some of the most popular drugs, such as cholesterol, blood pressure and insulin regulators, are prescribed to prevent diseases such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and adult diabetes (and also to lessen the symptoms, if a person has been diagnosed). I don't understand how taking an FDA-approved (i.e., clinically proven safe and effective) drug is different from doing any other kind of preventive action, such as exercising or dieting.

Nice pics and profile! A few thoughts... If you teach in other than a coastal state, hide your face pic. Teachers lose their jobs when unintended visitors stumble upon their adult profiles. It still happens today, and even in states where there are legal protections. You might prevail in court, but an individual would need money, time, and incredible emotional resolve to start and sustain a wrongful dismissal case. Also, even though a court can order an employee reinstated, it cannot order a reputation repaired. Better to make your body pics public and be able to re-lock your face pic at will. Eliminate "Ask Me" responses, except for HIV status, where fostering uncertainty can give an advantage over revealing that you are Neg. If you lean at all toward top or bottom, change your position and your loads given/loads taken responses accordingly. People don't know what to do with versatile guys. You can always make a guy feel special by telling him, "I don't usually get fucked, but I'd let you fuck me." Resist the urge to check too many preference boxes. All men like oral, fucking, and 1-on-1 in some measure, so those preferences don't single you out. Do mention body types or other characteristics of the kinds of guys you like. People who believe that you would like them, feel more comfortable responding. For example, as a bear, I look for guys who have checked "Bears" or mentioned in their written profiles that they are open to meeting men who are not thin and hairless. Create a standing travel record (perhaps for a year at a time) if you live in one city but work in another. Good luck! Let us know which of the many suggestions in this thread you decide to follow, and whether you start receiving more responses.