PhoenixGeoff

Decided to make it possible to have more than one answer since there are a lot of fun places out there. If there's a certain event that should not be missed (e.g. IML/Bear Pride, Southern Decadence, etc.) make sure you mention that too. And, of course, special attractions, like great bathhouses or sex clubs, bars with sleazy backrooms or private parties that admit out-of-towners, should be included too! Looking more for hearing from guys with experience in these places, not just reputations, although any city with good "word of mouth" is probably a fun place to hang out. It's best if you live there (or recently did) or have visited in the last couple years.

I don't get to travel as much as I'd like to, especially for "sex tourism" (i.e. travelling just to get laid, not really to see the sights, visit friends or family, or just relax on the beach or wherever) I'm pretty much limiting the poll to just the US, since I usually road trip to wherever I'm heading (and yes, I know I could easily visit Canada, but despite the fun I've had in Toronto and Vancouver in years past, I'm being arbitrary here). Just because your favorite spot isn't on the poll doesn't mean you can't talk about it. I'd love to hear about fun locations that I've never heard of before. My poll entries are pretty much arbitrary and are based on my own experiences or what I've heard over the years.

On the topic of criminalization of HIV, it's interesting to note that the Obama administration has called for state legislatures to repeal laws singling out people with HIV. This includes a wide range of behaviors (depending on your state): Prostitution with HIV (even if your status is disclosed) Non-disclosure of HIV status Assault involving bodily fluids, like spit (often limited to law enforcement as the victim) I'll also note that many state health departments will track people who contract a wide variety of sexually transmitted diseases in the interests of public health, something they don't tend to do with far more deadly diseases like the flu. Yup, showing up to work with the flu is a lot more likely to kill someone than barebacking in a bathhouse when you have HIV (let alone other STDs that are almost entirely treatable with proper medical care), once you factor in transmissability and mortality rates.

Ahh...a question that can actually tax some of my esoteric knowledge of the ancient and medieval world! My understanding is that modern castration is basically done for medical purposes or for aesthetic (or sexual) ones. In the past, it was mostly done as a means of keeping control over slaves (real ones, i.e. property; slaves and freedmen in powerful households often could accumulate a pretty big degree of personal power themselves; castration ensured that there was no means of them creating dynasties of their own), performing specialized functions that required contact with women they were not supposed to touch (e.g. in the Ottoman Seraglio in the Topkapı Palace) or, more recently, to preserve a good singing voice (castrati were popular both in church and secular music ( 's a good approximation of the latter from a pretty woofy American countertenor, though I imagine he'd probably need a ball gag in the sack).From what I've read, castration (especially if done after puberty) does not kill off your sexual desire. There are records of highly placed eunuchs, like the Byzantine general Narses, who still appreciated the company of women (what he may have actually done with them is a matter of conjecture). However, I doubt you'd keep the same level of sexual intensity going after castration due to the declining level of testosterone (that's why castrating sex offenders is actually a decent means of preventing recidivism). How attractive is it? Well, based on Rule 34, I'd say there are at least some guys out there who'd like it. I doubt it's a terribly large number (although given how few guys seem to be willing to go through with castration, there could be lots of frustrated men looking just for a guy like that). It may also be partly reversible, at least to some degree. I know more than one guy who receives regular testosterone injections; low testosterone seems to be a fairly common problem with middle-aged or older guys with HIV. I believe it's also used with FTM transsexuals. No doubt it could also be used to restore testosterone lost due to castration too. In that case, you'd probably still get the masculine traits (facial & body hair, musculature, deeper voice, sex drive, etc.) you have today.

I'd personally just suggest that a lot of that is simply lack of practice. The more you get fucked, the easier (and more pleasurable and more addicting) it becomes. You simply get better at it. Now, of course, different guys start out in different places...some guys love it right from the very beginning. Others need to work a bit. But I personally think that the biggest hurdle to overcome is entirely in your mind (not a matter of your body's physical attributes). Getting fucked can be a difficult thing to really want at all levels of your consciousness. That's really similar to my own experience as a bottom. While I do get an enormous amount of physical pleasure out of sex, I really think the biggest turn-on behind taking a load is entirely in my own head...I love the idea that the guy's load is in some way becoming a part of me.

I'd find it hard to improve on a sling...I've had so much fun with them over the years

While it's true that detectable viral load may make HIV harder to transmit, it still can be done (I've done it myself), especially if he or his partner happen to have another STD at the time. It also sounds like, while he does rubber up often, there are times he doesn't. And he's willing to bareback someone he thinks is neg (and presumably isn't chasing). RawTOP's right: for the sake of his own sense of well being, he needs to learn how to discuss his status openly, at least with the guys he fucks bareback (and personally, I think he should when he rubbers up too...I've had guys turn me down even before we get to discussing the condom, when presumably we're talking about safer sex...I wouldn't want to take that choice away from anyone). There are also potential legal ramifications, even if his partner does not seroconvert, even if he uses a condom, if he doesn't disclose (this varies widely from state to state; check with your local AIDS organization for the laws in your area). And yes, you are an excellent person to talk to him about this, since he knows your poz already and has a good idea of your feelings for him. Honestly, I find that "coming out poz" is very similar to coming out of the closet in the first place, except that the second time around it gets a bit easier. He's may be dreading the reaction he gets from guys who find out he's HIV+, just like he used to dread telling people he was gay. My experience has generally been that the fear of coming out is far, far worse than how people actually react. He'll like himself better if he's up front with his partners. I think he'll also find that the quality of the sex with the guys who are already poz or who don't really care more than makes up for the guys who'll turn him down based on his status.

Damnit damnit damnit...we never met in person but did chat on another site a few times. His profile alone was enough to make me want to visit Portland. Really sad news!

I pretty much still do everything that I did right from the beginning. I think mostly I see a change in emphasis over the years. For instance, oral sex used to be a ton of fun all on its own. Now, I pretty much see it as a prelude to fucking (or whatever else we're getting into). Sex that's nothing but oral is kind of a disappointment to me these days just because I know about all of the other possibilities. Mostly my attitude has changed in terms of stuff that I wouldn't get into before that I now can enjoy. Dildoes are a good example. I refused to use them as a top or a bottom (as a bottom especially because of one or two really bad experiences with tops who did not know how to use them on someone else). I'm still not all that fond of them (they are, after all, made of latex), but I can get into them nowadays with the right guy(s) and situation.

Seth_BBP agree completely. I love hairy faces, chests, asses and definitely hair pubes.

I think I mentioned in another thread that I'm uncut and had a bit of a hard time with that as a kid because I wanted to be like all of the other boys (yes, I guess I was checking out other guys even at that early age!) That embarrassment at being different went away after a while, and I've really come to enjoy being different from most guys here in North America. It's probably my second-most complimented physical feature, which is flattering. So I'm pretty happy with what I've got these days, and definitely enjoy sharing it with guys who'll appreciate it. That's not to say that there aren't problems with having a foreskin, at least with some guys. If seen some cocks where the skin is too tight and it's difficult to play with...even looks uncomfortable when the guy gets a hardon. But the main problem is one of cleanliness. I think some circumcised guys are kind of turned on by the idea of smegma in the abstract, but the reality is that it's not terribly attractive stuff (it's mostly dead skin cells and oils that have rubbed off the head and the foreskin and accumulated there...I tend to get it when I go without showering for a while but still jack off routinely...all the time while doing extended field training in the Army for instance). It looks and smells nasty, especially if it's been allowed to remain there for a week or more. Some guys who particularly get into filthy fetishes may really be into it, but for the most part my experience with giving guys a chance to try mine has been that it's a fantasy best left in the abstract. Certainly, when I'm with another uncut guy, it's a major turnoff if he's not been washing under the foreskin. Call me crazy, but when I'm sucking cock or getting fucked, I'd much rather have a circumcised cock to play with. Maybe that's because it's what I know best on other men. It's also probably because it's not such a novelty for me, since I get to play with my own all the time. But that's just my preference...I wouldn't call it a fetish...and I certainly would never turn down another uncut guy. Variety is the spice of life! I've not gotten into docking very much, although some guys have tried. While my skin is quite loose and slides easily over my head (it's very easy for me to JO without any lube at all) it's not as long as some I've seen and won't completely cover my own cockhead when I'm totally hard, let alone someone else's. Usually this ends up with the other guy (who doesn't understand just how sensitive the foreskin is) trying too hard and pulling on my skin until it hurts. It's never been a terribly pleasant experience. I'm agnostic about whether it should be permitted or not. I know there are a lot of circumcised guys out there who really wish they weren't. And I do think that it's the kind of thing that ought to be left up to the individual. On the other hand, I understand the longstanding religious and cultural thinking behind the practice. (Did you know that laws against circumcision were used by Christians to marginalize Jews in the later Roman Empire?) And I do really enjoy playing with cut cocks, so perhaps I'm being a bit selfish in that regard too.

It's really interesting reading how many bottoms here don't seem to get hard and have all their pleasure centered around their ass, not their cock. I really enjoy a good hard pounding myself, but I've always assumed that the best barometer of a guy's pleasure level is how hard his cock is, whether he's a top or a bottom. I wonder if one of the things going unsaid here is that from what I've seen, a lot of the really intense barebacking power bottoms out there also use t, which turns the sex drive and craving to get fucked up to 11 and annihilates any inhibitions but also kills most guys' erections. That's certainly been my experience whenever I got fucked up. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off my cock, but it wouldn't do me any good When I do top, unless I'm really tearing him up and hurting him, or hitting somewhere inside him at just the wrong angle, I almost always get the bottom hard too. In fact, trying to put my cock in a guy before he gets hard can be difficult...if he's not turned on his hole is probably also too tight. On the other hand, the guys I fuck who don't get hard often look and act like they're high. I also gotta say that I do like it when a bottom blows his load while my cock's buried in his ass. Even if he's really opened up well and been fucked for a while, most guys will clamp down pretty hard on your cock, which can be fun. I had one bf who would always squeeze me out of his ass as he came, even if I was buried to the hilt and braced for impact. He'd squeeze every last drop of cum out of me that way...that boy had obviously found the ass muscle machine at the gym! I'd be interested to hear from bottoms who don't use any drugs and still don't get hard. Was it always like that? Do you still get hard under some circumstances, just not while getting plowed, or is your cock not a sexual organ to you at all (no JO, no cumming, nothing)?

I lost my job earlier this month, but I'm getting unemployment so I'm actually not in too much of a hurry to find something new. It's been a while since I've had an extended period of time off and I've never been on unemployment in my life before so I figure I'm entitled. And yes, I now do have quite a bit more time to fuck around. So that's definitely cool. As for mood affecting sexual activity, one thing that I have noticed is that, while my profiles say I'm versatile, I usually going through phases ranging from total top to true versatile (rarely) to total bottom. Yesterday was all about collecting loads in my ass and I didn't top anyone at all (although I did have a few guys working on sucking it for a bit). The week and weekend before, I was all about topping. Out of about ten days, I only had one cock fucking me, and that was just briefly (and no load). I've never thought to see if these cycles were really tied to anything. I may try and pay closer attention.

Nope, I like it just the way it is. If it were any bigger or thicker, then more bottoms wouldn't be able to take my cum. If it were any shorter or thinner, then it would be more ordinary. If it were cut, then I'd lose out on having a pretty unique cock feature here in the US. Not too many white American men have uncut cocks. If it were gone, then I wouldn't be able to top. Then how am I supposed to spread around my seed? BTW, when I'm sucking cock, I love it if the guy's a grower. It's pretty fucking cool to feel that dick swelling up in your mouth as you work on it.

Well I've been topping quite a bit lately so my hole's been itching for some cum. And I scratched it! Hit the bath and got five loads pumped in my ass there. There were a few others who fucked me for a bit but didn't cum. I was still hungry, so I decided to hit a video store that's right next to a truck stop. My loud bareback gay porn drew this very hot bisexual bear of a trucker with a fucking sweet thick cock. After sucking his cock for a bit (and making it known that I'd love to get his load in my hole) he invited me back to his rig where he gave me a real hard roughfucking and my last load of the day.

Congrats on quitting the T...that ain't an easy thing to do. I wonder though if we should include deciding to bareback while spun in this category...when I've been fucked up, I've chosen to do a few things that I wouldn't necessarily want to do while sober. I started barebacking before I discovered T, so it didn't really lead me to do anything new in that department, but I can see how some guys might only bareback when they were fucked up and regret it after they came back down. As for the bf, is there any particular reason he won't bareback with you? And would he be willing to consider opening the relationship a bit so you could meet your sexual needs?

Love to...maybe get one of my cock in your ass too!

It is for me, but I've seen guys who were real sluts cut back on their fucking around under the right circumstances. They're probably still barebacking, just not with as many different guys.

Last night I indulged in a bit of sleazy fun. Hit my favorite local bar to hang out with a friend who's a bit of a cumdumpster (his words; he's working on taking at least a load a day for 2010 and is well ahead of schedule). The bar's been cracking down a bit on sex on the premises but it's in an industrial part of town. We cut across the parking lot and found a dark narrow "alley" (maybe only 3-4 feet wide) between a building and a chain link fence with a shed blocking view from the fence side, full of trash, old tires, stuff like that. We could hear the music and voices from the bar still. I dropped my shorts and he went down on me...between the cock sucking, the setting and what he'd been telling me about all the loads he's been taking, I got hard pretty damn fast. Bent him over against the fence and worked my cock in his ass and fucked him til I blew my load. He's a good pig so got right back down and sucked my cock clean. Just the kind of spontaneous nasty sex I like...I'm definitely remembering the location next time I want a quick fuck from some guy I meet in the bar!

Last night I indulged in a bit of sleazy fun. Hit my favorite local bar to hang out with a friend who's a bit of a cumdumpster (his words; he's working on taking at least a load a day for 2010 and is well ahead of schedule). The bar's been cracking down a bit on sex on the premises but it's in an industrial part of town. We cut across the parking lot and found a dark narrow "alley" (maybe only 3-4 feet wide) between a building and a chain link fence with a shed blocking view from the fence side, full of trash, old tires, stuff like that. We could hear the music and voices from the bar still. I dropped my shorts and he went down on me...between the cock sucking, the setting and what he'd been telling me about all the loads he's been taking, I got hard pretty damn fast. Bent him over against the fence and worked my cock in his ass and fucked him til I blew my load. He's a good pig so got right back down and sucked my cock clean. Just the kind of spontaneous nasty sex I like...I'm definitely remembering the location next time I want a quick fuck from some guy I meet in the bar!

It's kind of interesting to see how few guys are into someone about their own age. I know that with straight married couples, most of my friends there are about in the same ballpark. Ditto for many of the lesbians I know. Strange how that's different with us.

I love the trefoil on your lower back...I don't think it's too far from your ass crack...where it is you can probably see it clearly. You look good with a cock in your mouth!

This is absolutely true. Lots of very dominant tops really get off on making a top guy bottom for them. It can, with some guys, end up being very physical, rough and demanding (and a hell of a lot of fun). This is also true... there's a sexual niche out there for everyone. For what it's worth, I'd MUCH rather fuck a hot 36 yo bearish guy than a 23 yo twink. I've personally had a similar kind of problem throughout much of my life. I'm a tall guy with a pretty large build and a decent sized cock, and especially back in my Army days, when I was in pretty good shape, I seemed to be a magnet for bottoms. Still am to some extent, which I think comes from my age and build. That's great when I want to top but not so good when I'm in a bottom mood. Sometimes you just end up having to be pretty direct with the guys approaching you. I wouldn't worry too much about guys you "fucked and forgot." Everyone's sexual tastes evolve as they age and discover new stuff and old prejudices fall away. And why should anyone care if you're a top or a bottom or versatile or whatever? My general experience has been that the best tops get fucked as well (and vice versa). There's something about knowing how things are supposed to feel for your partner that really leads to some good sex. Sometimes we overthink sex and forget that it's supposed to be fun. Just go out there are do what comes naturally. As for learning how to get fucked, my suggestion would be to find a guy with a lot of experience and a lot of patience, preferably as both a top and a bottom. Training your ass to open up just takes time and practice. The good news is that practice is a lot of fun Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk more.

Fuck, that's a hot setting...I'd love to get involved (either as a top or bottom or both). I have family living in Manhattan...maybe next time I'm in town I'll get in touch.