Jump to content
boywonder

Why do men bareback? A healthy discussion and debate.

Recommended Posts

Thanks for posting, it's definitely an interesting read. I feel I can relate to some of the reasons put forward. I became HIV+ about 8 years ago, at the time I was devastated as I wasn't seeking out bareback sex, I kind of just got carried away. I guess we all do it for different reasons but now I never use condoms I think my main reason is that it feels better and I guess I believe it to be risk free as I am poz (but I know it's not). It's interesting to see another perspective on it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for posting, it's definitely an interesting read. I feel I can relate to some of the reasons put forward. I became HIV+ about 8 years ago, at the time I was devastated as I wasn't seeking out bareback sex, I kind of just got carried away. I guess we all do it for different reasons but now I never use condoms I think my main reason is that it feels better and I guess I believe it to be risk free as I am poz (but I know it's not). It's interesting to see another perspective on it.

I definitely thought it was interesting as well. Very intellectually stimulating, and insightful.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I found this very fascinating. I can certainly see myself described in there, and it is refreshing to see my reasoning acknowledged rather than demonised. I also see many of the different people we all encounter here too. Of course as he acknowledges even psychologists have to wrestle with their natural desire to intervene and judge, and he successfully avoids that.

Everyone here is different so different parts will resonate but understanding potential motivations for others is a particularly valuable thing that helps increase ones own confidence and increases our sense of community.

There is a lot in the article, both background and his interpretation and experience. I will pick out some parts that particularly resonated with me.

On risk taking, I agree when he says it can be a desire to "connect sexually and socially with other gay men and feel uninhibited and free" as those who have read some of my other posts will recall.

On rationality he says "for certain individuals, under certain circumstances, risky sexual behaviour may indeed be rational, in the sense that the perceived physical, emotional, and psychological benefits of sex outweigh the threat of acquiring HIV". That's certainly how I see it.

On sensation(-seeking), yes it feels much better skin-on-skin but also I identified with the part that "men who know and accept the risks and are willing to factor them into the equation as one important cost to an otherwise important, pleasurable and valued behavior pattern". I suspect most will be working on their own cost/benefit equations. To each his own, each equally valid to the individual even if massed society doesn't agree.

In the section examining semen exchange (my word play), describing semen as "a gift [of love] and symbolic joining of two souls" was poetic yet rang true as a deeply erotic and connecting event we chase whatever it is we are seeking.

Fascinating, and I think true, that he says: all the media attention has normalised the barebacking term and led to community discussion leading to the perception that it is widespread and therefore encouraging pressure to conform. Never ban anything. It makes it more attractive.

The description of the underlying question we have to grapple with as being "what risk-taking we consider acceptable, healthy and even laudable, and what risk-taking do we consider unhealthy and unacceptable" is an interesting one. I assume he was referring to the psychology and healthcare profession, but it's possibly a good question for ourselves. When anyone says "what we consider acceptable" it always frightens me as in who are the "we" who are imposing views on "them" [us]. It depends on viewpoint and vested interest as ever and will always be so I guess.

As to the meanings of barebacking section - I am sure we can all find an element of our own reasons there but I was interested in the idea of it being seen as "a repudiation of the felt prohibition by the greater society". There's an element of that with me I think.

I have often thought that some behaviours are anchored in the internalised homophobia we absorb as youngsters but was fascinated if not a little alarmed by the Crossley quote in the paper regarding the power of barebacking as a transgressive act - "It is exhilarating, it is the forbidden thing, it is like a drug, it is what you are not supposed to do, it is getting away with murder".

In the 'risk-taking and the unconscious' section, I liked the ending quote "... we may lose perspective on how decisions of risk-taking are made. Risk of HIV infection is serious. But the risk of loss of pleasure and intimacy is also serious". Another resonance with me there.

The conclusion paragraph is promising. Michael Shernoff's call to separate the known facts from the moral judgements is refreshing as is him using quotes around the term "right" - since right is itself subjective opinion.

It is worth a good read if you have the time and interest. If only everyone shared that level of understanding and good sense.

Thank you for sharing it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I bareback because condoms not only are a complete turn off, but they sting and burn my manhole as well.......Want to ruin potentially great porn? Just make the actors wear condoms....the Raging Stallion flick "To The Last Man" is a perfect example

Edited by cmmolthr
Link to post
Share on other sites
Boy wonder - I have the book - its really interesting and I think he's right on about it. If you'd like to read it at the same time, maybe we could have a book discussion - or if anyone else wants to as well.

I would love to read the book. It seems very thought-provoking. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

hate rubbers...makes it hard to get inside a guy, too thick here..rubber makes it painful for em. and lack of sensation, and not bieng able to plant a load where it belongs. And when i tried to play safe..btms id rip it off my cock...LOL...so i gave in

Link to post
Share on other sites

We we are born into this world all alone! Oops I forgot about mom! Not really just trying to amplify my point. We emerge from inside the body of another human being, that incubating is togetherness to the nth degree. I think some of us who are secretly mommy's boys because we cant stand oneness or being isolated and the fact that I take a raw cock in me is like the only way I truly can bond with that person and erase my loneliness even if it is for a short time. This maybe amplified by people like me who fall in love easy with other people and use raw ultimate sex as a bond. So in retrospect we may be recreating our birth bonds and maybe stretch it a little more so the raw dick is the reenactment is of dad cumming into our bond. Oh yeah it feels great physically too when you are sensitive inside like me and feel every spasm of cum blast inside!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Similar Content

    • By POZSado
      Human clinical trials approved in the DC area on a possible cure for HIV.
      Interesting to see the advancement of the research made in the treatment of HIV.  While this might not be the final solution to curing HIV, it's definitely a large step forward.
      Read the article here:
      Potential HIV cure approved for a human clinical trial, LGBTQ Nation
    • By rapazsolitario
      Since I was a child I lived in the same neighborhood, with the same neighbors. I played on the street with the usual people, until we grew up and moved away. All the houses in the neighborhood had a child my age, except that of the neighbor on the right, who lived alone.
      Everyone said he was gay, so no one came close to him. But I always thought they were envious, because he had the biggest house in the region, with a pool and everything. My parents always treated him well, invited him to my birthday parties and he gave me great gifts, so I was always courteous to him too.
      When I was fourteen, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and it was Pablo, the neighbor, who took care of me while my father was in the hospital with her. In the two years that followed until the death of my mother, we created a bond almost like father and son.
      At that time, I already knew that he was really gay, I had met some of his boyfriends, and he was the first person to whom I told that I was also gay.
      What I didn't told him was that I had a secret crush on him, after all, a skinny teenager like me would never have a chance with a mature, 36-year-old man, wealthy and well resolved like him.
      I had already spent countless afternoons in the pool at Pablo's house, and when he went swimming with me, I would look at his strong, hairy body, with that big volume in his trunks and all the tattoos he had on his body. He told me to wear swim trunks, but I always wore shorts, so he wouldn't notice my erection.
      My father was very depressed after my mother's death and started drinking, so whenever I could, I would run away to Pablo’s. He had even given me a copy of his key, so I could come in and watch TV or use the computer when he was gone working.
      One day, as usual, I went to his house during his working hours, thinking it would be empty. I was starting to settle in the living room when I heard a groaning noise coming from his room.
      I went there in silence and came across a scene that left my jaw dropping. Pablo was fucking another man with all the pressure.
      The guy was under him, in a chicken position, while Pablo fucked him mercilessly. His hairy, juicy ass was in front of me, as were his huge balls. The guy moaned and screamed like he was in paradise.
      For a moment, I thought the man under him had seen me, because he whispered something in Pablo's ear after looking at the door. But I was well hidden in the shades and they just kept fucking, without looking in my direction.
      I was looking at that scene for some time, my dick exploding in my underwear, when I heard Pablo saying:
      “Do you want my cum?”
      ”Yes, I really want it”, the other man shouted in ecstasy.
      “And what kind of cum is it?”, asked Pablo.
      “It's poz cum.”
      "Say what you want then," ordered my neighbor.
      “I want you to poz me, to fill me with HIV.”
      Hearing that was strange. First, because I didn't know that my neighbor had HIV. Second, the other guy was getting fucked without a condom on purpose, literally begging to be infected.
      A few seconds after that, I heard Pablo howling, and I knew he was coming inside the passive's ass, injecting him with his virus-contaminated semen.
      I turned away in silence, left his house and ran to mine. My cock was still hard and drooling in my underwear, so I ran to the bathroom and touched myself remembering the scene I had just witnessed.
      I came as I never had in my life, I had to restrain myself from screaming otherwise I would get my dad's attention.
      I didn't fully understand why the guy wanted to be infected with a virus that had no cure, but I realized how that would feel in sex. Because it was bigger than just sex, they were creating a bond that would last until the end of their lives, something totally irreversible.
      I never mentioned any of that to anyone, obviously, because people would find it strange and try to get me away from Pablo. I continued to act normally with him, but in a way our relationship was no longer the same, because I knew his secret.
      The more the time passed, the more I understood the fetish that man had to be pozzed by my neighbor. It was literally putting your life in the hands of the other, and I didn't know a better person than my neighbor to have that kind of trust.
      I started researching the subject on the internet and discovered that there was a whole community with this type of fetish. The more videos I watched, the more I became horny about it. I even lost track of how many handjobs I gave myself imagining my neighbor doing that to me.
      It was in these researches that I discovered that a tattoo that he had just above the swimsuit mark meant that he was positive and that he was proud of it. One day, when we were sitting by the pool, I got some courage and said:
      “I really like your tattoos, when I turn 18, I want to get some done.”
      "Tattooing is something that when you do the first one, you get addicted," he said.
      “Would you be upset if I had one just like yours?”, I asked.
      “Which one?” he wanted to know.
      "The one over the swim trunks," I said innocently. “I think it's very beautiful.”
      He smiled a little condescendingly, as if I had no idea what I was talking about and said:
      “That one has a very special meaning for me, someday I’ll explain it to you.”
      I didn't ask anything because I already knew what it meant, and he closed the matter too. But I realized that from that day on he started looking at me differently, as if he were evaluating me. At that time, I was starting to gain some muscle, because I was going to the gym and my body was starting to develop as well. There was hair growing in corners that I never imagined I could have it, and I left everything to be natural, just as I had seen that Pablo was.
      I thought he could be evaluating me in that matter, seeing the changes in my body, but he never said anything. Time passed and our relationship remained the same as always. It was childish of me to still hope to be with a man twenty years older than me, who thought about me as if I was his son more than anything.
    • By CharlieNZ
      Hi all, 
      Looking to be used as a cumdump. I want guys to gangbang me and share me with their friends. No loads refused, I’ll take every drop of cum regardless of status. Looking for interested guys in Wellington who can host. 
    • By viking8x6
      Definitely a bathhouse visit. Probably Pittsburgh or Philadelphia. Possibly DC, or even Denver if I'm heading to visit my parents (whom I haven't seen in many months, of course). If y'all BZ people frequent those cities, HMU if you're interested in coordinating!
      Possibly also a sex road trip, which is something I've often thought about but never done. In particular from here (just west of DC) to Chicago and/or Boston, and points in between. Hopefully LOTS AND LOTS of points in between.
    • By michaeladam
      Hey all! I'm new to this amazing forum so let me introduce myself first.
      My name is Michael and i'm a 22 yo European bottom. I love to expose my self to Dom Tops and totally into being bred and fucked rough.
      Unfortunately I, from time to time, suffer from Anxiety and mostly Hypochondria. It's something that can get extremely present, this feeling of having a terminal disease.
      When i'm in that state of mind, nobody. not a a friend nor a doctor can convince me that i'm fine. I've had the most unrealistic thoughts throughout the years. 
      - Long cancer - Tickle cancer - Prostate cancer - A L S - Becoming blind - HIV - an STD that's not discovered and registered yet - Heart Failure - and a lot of other different , Disease related thoughts.
      Cancer and HIV are the most common fears in my life.
      The only thing that helps best is meditate, mindfulness. I'm doing this for years now. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. It depends. And I can highly recommend it to people who suffer from sleeping-problems, anxiety, depression or any other form of mental health issue.

      Now being Hypochondriac and a Cum dump doesn't really go hand in hand. It's a bit ironic right? 
      Well fuck me!

      I'm now considering PrEP because I don't want my sex life to suffer because I constantly fear for HIV. I don't want to be pozzed. But I fucking love a man to shoot the loads he want in my pink smooth boy dump hole. 
      I'm very happy with this forum. It's extremely informative to me so far. And i'm just curious if there are many guys here that can relate to what I'm saying here. And how to cope with this.
      When i'm horny or plan on a sex date I don't fear anything. Off course I know that there will probably be a panic attack 3 days after being BB'ed but at that moment I don't care. So I enjoy and let my hole get seeded. But it's a nightmare to go through this roller coaster of fear all the time.

      I'm sure i'm not alone with this. Curious if people can relate to my story here.

      ❤️
       
       
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.