Dating and Being a Pig?

[fskn]

I made a resolution that when I fuck in 2013, I will only fuck bare. I'm starting to communicate my preference for topping bare in online profiles instead of just sounding things out once I meet a guy. It's paying off in that I am meeting more guys and having great encounters.

The problem is that I also want to date, and maybe find a new partner. People in the dating pool seem to respond negatively to the idea of a non-monogamous relationship, let alone to the mention of barebacking. I don't agree that the only valid relationship involves I white picket fence. I want to commit to the kind of guy who comes home with another guy's load in his ass and tells me about it as I add my own, and who encourages me in my extra-curricular pursuits.

Any advice from people about being a slut and having a relationship at the same time? I know it's possible to open up a relationship after the fact (usually with tears, jealousy and conflict, it seems). I want something that starts out emotionally solid and sexually open.

Thanks, and I hope that this isn't a dumb question.

[DepravedIndifference]

Love and share your dream. I'd add a poz agenda to mine. Two (or more) pig sluts living and breeding happily ever after. A perfectly transgressive relationship.

[fuckboy20]

Your dream isn't that uncommon. Not everyone is destined for or wants a white picket fence life. And not everyone wants to be monogamous to another. I've known men who have a partner or boyfriend and get fucked on the side and bring loads how to their partner and they get filled more at home.

..I like the idea as well. As much fun as it is taking random loads and loads from buds I would be more then willing to date a horny dominant top who pushes my limits and who I get alone with well and I'm able to give them much more then just hook ups. But at the same time it's even hotter if they want me to go out and get loads from other tops and bring the loads home or bring the tops home. But you still have more of a connection or bond with the one you are dating. There was a guy a while back who talked about doing that but I think it was more of a fantasy for him.

I think that's the real difference. Some people aren't programmed this way and the idea is foreign to them. Or some just like it as a fantasy but might not actually go through with the reality. What alot of men don't understand too is just because you are dating someone means you are chained to them. It means you are exploring things with them and deciding for yourself if you want to keep dating them, take it further, or take a step back or just be buds.

But you aren't alone with this

There actually is a top who I would like to get to know more and maybe even date. After moving and settling in gets better I'd like to see where things go. It's always good if someone you like be it top or bottom wants to do more with you then just sex, a session, and getting naked. Good to have friends

[bigdick4you]

Love and share your dream. I'd add a poz agenda to mine. Two (or more) pig sluts living and breeding happily ever after. A perfectly transgressive relationship.

I'm afraid it can be more complicated than that.... I'm in open relationship myself but sometimes jealousy plays up.... Got to know my bf as a very sexual active guy doing gangbangs and all.... But after few months he just got tired of it.... We still have sex with others but we don't really tell each other about it.... One thing we do have....and that's we r always honest to each other .... Just find right balance that works for u and it will be alright.... I think it's very possible to be a slut and also committed to ur bf.... I know I am.... And there r plenty of guys out there who r same....

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Adding to this thread, would you really want to connect with a guy who is NOT of similar mindset to you? True, it might take longer to meet mr right and mr compatible (the way you want to be compatible). But ultimately you'll be starting on a framework of shared pleasure rather than hook up with a guy who expects sheathed monogamy while you desire bare openess.

[DepravedIndifference]

I'm afraid it can be more complicated than that...

Am under no illusions as to how complicated it can be. Transgression is by definition complicated. And the more transceiver an act is of societal norms, including gay or queer norms, well, the more complicated it is.

[NiceHard1]

You guys are awesome. I love and agree with all of the comments here... That it IS possible, and not to fool ourselves, as it IS difficult too. I think having great communication is key, and talking about when someone is not feeling great about it. (I had one of those experiences recently with a boy I've been with only on a semi regular basis.... And I'll post that story separately on my blog.)

I also see that there are lots of us here who are looking for the same thing: to find the right balance of a bond with one or more men, along with the freedom to be our sexual selves.

I really think that you're in the right place to look for that on breeding zone. Places like manhunt or gay.com will have guys who want the relationship without the piggy sex, and BBRT will get you the piggy sex but not the relationship. Here you can have more dialogue to find people who may be interested in the best of both.

So if it isn't evident, I'm indeed open to that. Not desperately seeking a relationship, but indeed looking to build the right situation with the right guys when it happens. So if you're looking, let's chat, and go for a date that would involve both piggy sex and spending time to get to know each other a bit.

One of my favorite quotes from Armisted Maupin... being gay has taught me tolerance, compassion, and humility; it has shown me the limitless possibilities of living.

Edited January 21, 2013 by NiceHard1

[not_sure_bb]

I honestly dont think anyone can be 100% honest and faithful to their significant other. especially if you are leaning on the pig side. Thats just my personal opinion.

[HungLatinDom]

You need to be very patient.

My last relationship before my current one(s) lasted 3 months only, and I was single for close to 5 years, just fucking men, never establishing a relationship until I found the right pig. It can be hard, but definitely I believe that it's better being alone, but having lots of friends and sexual partners rather than being in a stiff relationship that drives your friends away and limits your choice of partners.

[einathens]

you have to be honest and clear, first with yourself and then with your mate, and finally with the guys you play around with, either seperately or together.

i know it can be done. i'm doing it. is it easy? not always. is it worth it? yes.

the shorthand answer i give guys who ask about my relationship is 'he has my head & my heart. the rest of me is available for fun.'

[gangbangtheblackboy]

interesting thread.

i do what i want since i'm single... gangbangs, et cetera...

...but when it comes to relationships i am more conservative and traditional.

once i find the right guy, i will definitely settle down and remain true to him.

monogamy is just as sexy as sluttiness is, in my opinion.

[bbzh]

My bf tried to play the monogamy card on me at first and I was like baby that is just not gonna work. I want my cake and I wanna eat it too. And I am not going to lie to you and fuck around behind your back. I am a hoe. Capital H-O-E. I work hard, am a good guy and will have your back as long as I can have more than just one dick.

We understand the difference between fucking and loving. I don't love the guys I fuck. I used to get caught up but my fuckbuddies know that it is only about fucking. Don't call. No sleeping over and no cuddling.

My bf and I can do piggy shit together now and send the guy on out the door with no worries. But you gotta communicate and set boundaries and understand who you really are and what's really important to you. Who my bf fucks or I fuck is not important unless it interferes with our relationship.

I would not have been able to handle such a relationship in my early 20s but with time I've come to understand how I tick. I'm not knocking monogamy but its not for me. I don't want to miss out on or sacrifice years of good sex trying to adhere to some standard someone else has set. I'm willing to compromise but nobody's controlling me.

[masc4raw]

My bf tried to play the monogamy card on me at first and I was like baby that is just not gonna work. I want my cake and I wanna eat it too. And I am not going to lie to you and fuck around behind your back. I am a hoe. Capital H-O-E. I work hard, am a good guy and will have your back as long as I can have more than just one dick.

We understand the difference between fucking and loving. I don't love the guys I fuck. I used to get caught up but my fuckbuddies know that it is only about fucking. Don't call. No sleeping over and no cuddling.

My bf and I can do piggy shit together now and send the guy on out the door with no worries. But you gotta communicate and set boundaries and understand who you really are and what's really important to you. Who my bf fucks or I fuck is not important unless it interferes with our relationship.

I would not have been able to handle such a relationship in my early 20s but with time I've come to understand how I tick. I'm not knocking monogamy but its not for me. I don't want to miss out on or sacrifice years of good sex trying to adhere to some standard someone else has set. I'm willing to compromise but nobody's controlling me.

I agree with you bud. In my relationship it was the other way around. I wanted the monogamy and he claimed that he wanted also. I had seen what infidelity had done to my parent's marriage. My mom was the culprit, not my dad. So I wanted to be monogamous. Then my partner met another twink that he liked. He went as far as asking my permission. I told him I had no control over what he did, but that he should realize that each has an outcome. Well he did the twink. At that moment I told him that for as long as we were together, monogamy was not going to be an option. We have been together for 27 years, I don't think I have been faithful to him for one single year after that incident.

Do I wish we had monogamy, I do. I really do. But then as we grew older, our sexual habits changed. I became the pig, he remained very much a vanilla man. I am talking missionary and nothing else. Well, that got boring. So in a way I am "glad" that it did not work out from the get go. But at the same time, with gay marriage going around, I know I would never be able to marry him. Marriage to me is something that I still hold sacred and I cannot see myself married and playing the field, I may be a pig with my pig bros, but even I had some level of standards and morals.

[whiteslutbttm]

I have a hard time finding relationships. Tops that like a slutty bb bottom don't seem to want a relationship (plenty of tops want one as a fuck buddy, but nothing beyond that), most tops wanting a relationship expect total monogamy, and the few tops that are into open relationships freak out at the thought of their partner being the town cum-dump. The only tops I've met who were open to a relationship with a cum slut bottom, were daddies looking for a Master/Slave relationship (awesome if you're into that, but it's not for me).

Yes, sometimes I like to go kneel in front of a glory hole at the local ABS and see how much sperm I can swallow in one afternoon. Sometimes I like getting bred by a random stranger I just met (online, at the ABS, in a public bathroom, whatever; take his cum, don't bother learning his name). I'm a slut. I like being a slut. But that doesn't mean I don't want a loving, genuine relationship, a partner, a husband. It really frustrates me that so many gays have bought into the notion that a relationship between two men should follow the same pattern/rules as a relationship between a man and a woman (especially when more and more straight couples are swinging/whoring around).

[bearbandit]

I honestly dont think anyone can be 100% honest and faithful to their significant other. especially if you are leaning on the pig side. Thats just my personal opinion.

Define honesty and faithfulness. My partner, years ago, would give me a lift to my boyfriend's place if the weather was too rough for the bike. One night he even came back because I'd forgetten my pillbox. He wasn't particularly interested in my boyfriend, so on those nights, he missed the longing stare as he left. If he had someone over, I'd bring them breakfast in bed (if I approved of the boyfriend, otherwise just a cup of tea - I knew who was good enough for my man!). The point is that even if one of us did get emotionally involved with someone else, we each knew it was the other that we'd be coming home to.

Married, playing safe? How much does Mrs Not_Sure_bb know?