The Body Thinks They Know Why We Bareback

[rawTOP]

There was an article on TheBody.com the other day that tried to explain why gay men bareback...

http://www.thebody.com/content/art56400.html

The writer says some of the explanations are:

• "Sex without a condom just feels better."
  
• "Gay men bareback out of a need for transgression, from a desire to flout societal norms and rules. Historically, gay men were seen as sexual outlaws, and part of our identity revolved around our outsider status, a status that even conferred a certain 'cool.' Today, with gay marriage making its halting march to legality and gay couples adopting children, being gay may seem kind of ordinary, and some men may need to find ways to hang on to our old outlaw status."
  
• "Gay men bareback out of a sense of fatalism or exhaustion. Perhaps they feel it's more or less inevitable they'll eventually become infected, so they might as well just get it over with."
  

But he says he doesn't really think any of those are the real reason. He thinks...

... barebacking is an attempt to escape from the awful sense of isolation that we all experience as human beings. That isolation is perhaps an inevitable consequence of our separate existence as individuals. But it's particularly acute for us gay men, who have grown up in a society hostile to our identity. Having spent so much of our lives on the outside, alienated from members of the majority (straight) culture, we gay men have an intense need to feel truly connected to others like ourselves.

To me, the urge that I think motivates barebacking is perfectly understandable. It is, after all, just a deeply felt desire for the most profound form of intimacy, a desire that goes beyond merely wanting to be close to someone else and crosses over into a need for union -- for the "blissful merger" that Irvin Yalom describes.

Yeah, right... I mean there's a difference between guys who bareback (say in a committed relationship) and "barebackers". What he's saying might be true for the lovey dovey romantic types, but I wouldn't say it's true of the bareback community. As the poll in the other thread clearly shows - barebackers aren't looking for intimate/connected sex - we like our sex pretty much anonymous. So all his rhetoric about intimacy is pretty much pure bullshit.

That said, I think he might be right about how some guys get into barebacking. I know I started with a boyfriend and there was a great connection blowing my loads up his hole (and his willingness to let me do it pretty early in our relationship - in 1995, before protease inhibitors, when barebacking was still incredibly risky).

But the connection thing doesn't explain why we continue to bareback. Barebacking really is pretty addictive and once you feel the rush of blowing a load up a guy's ass in a dark room in a bathhouse (or taking that load not knowing who in the hell it was who just came in your ass)... That's not about intimacy at all... That's the primitive instinct to BREED...

So why do you think barebackers bareback? Who's full of shit - me or the guy who wrote the article on The Body?

[Belfast-Bottom]

I think there are a lot of unconscious/semiconscious urges around dominance, violence, and submission in the human brain SIR. We evolved from reptiles. The sexual instincts are deep, basic and primitive. Civilization is a thin veneer. I think most men have a strong urge to plant their seed in a warm wet hole. Penetration is a kind of conquest. Planting your seed in a warm wet hole is like planting your flag on newly conquered territory. You have made and left your mark. The knowledge that accepting your cum can have permanent consequences for the cumdump ( possible HIV and STI infection ) adds to the power kick. The fact that a bottom wants you so desperately they will risk their life for you, strokes the ego. A lot of biologists think that most human males are hardwired for promiscuity. It makes evolutionary sense to "plant a seed in every pot". Monogamy is the result of cultural conditioning.

[Belfast-Bottom]

Hetero males have been able to radically change a woman's status with one fuck ( by making her pregnant ) for thousands of years. Now gay males can radically change someone's status by fucking too. I think that appeals to the sadistic streak in some Tops. Use of terms such as "breed", "knock up", and "seed", in gay barebacking circles, clearly hark back to making someone pregnant. Psychologists have long been aware that males are excited by risk. That's the reason why there are so many boy racers, bikers, mountaineers and dangerous sports enthusiasts ( the great majority of them male ). Think about Russian Roulette. Some barebackers claim to organize "roulette" parties ( with NEG bottoms ) where some of the Tops are poz and some neg. The neg bottoms don't know which Tops are poz and that is the kick for them.

[yunghungtop]

I think barebackers bareback for a lot of different reasons.

The whole risk thing isn't what does it for me. I'm not a fucking moron, I am clearly aware of the risks, but I don't have the fetish for that - for me, that part is just irrelevant. No disrespect to guys who get off on that, all I'm saying is that it's not me.

I bareback because 1) it feels better, 2) I like fucking a cumsloppy hole, 3) shooting my load in a bottom's ass is the ultimate act of domination. I'm using that ass for my pleasure and shooting my load deep in it to mark my territory.

[nastybottom]

I bareback because 1) it feels better, 2) I like fucking a cumsloppy hole, 3) shooting my load in a bottom's ass is the ultimate act of domination. I'm using that ass for my pleasure and shooting my load deep in it to mark my territory.

Good answer, especially #3. I love being used for a top's pleasure. Giving him my bare hole and letting him shoot his cum inside me is the best way to do that. It does feel better as well, and there's also the thrill of doing something that's taboo.

[Grunt]

I think barebackers bareback for a lot of different reasons.

The whole risk thing isn't what does it for me. I'm not a fucking moron, I am clearly aware of the risks, but I don't have the fetish for that - for me, that part is just irrelevant. No disrespect to guys who get off on that, all I'm saying is that it's not me.

I bareback because 1) it feels better, 2) I like fucking a cumsloppy hole, 3) shooting my load in a bottom's ass is the ultimate act of domination. I'm using that ass for my pleasure and shooting my load deep in it to mark my territory.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

[Guest Boxir55]

For me it's the domination thing, feeling his body under mine and my cock bare in his hole and him having to accept my wad whenever I decide to dump it in him

[Guest slobbvers]

The writer at the Body is full of shit. Im always leery when someone offers a rationalisation for whatever poeple do. I think that its vanity on the writer's part. Saying in essence 'Aren't I special? I came up with this article because I have such a keen insight into how poeple behave." When than likely their editor tells them to write X amount of words by five o'clock.

[kinkydawg]

I love the submissive aspect of giving my hole to any man who wants to fuck their load into it. A raw cock also just feels great.

[RawPozLust]

I don't try to intellectualize a physical act that is so instinctive. I have always fucked bareback because rubbers are an artificial device and because satisfying sex means shooting my sperm into another body or taking another man's sperm in mine. It's primal and natural.

[yourcummyass]

For me it's the risk of infection that's the turn on. The one and only time I've knowingly had a poz cock up my ass raw was incredibly hot as was the only time I've taken an anon load.

[JoshLandaleXXX]

I think he's right to a degree, for say 1% of the people who bareback.. but as you say rawTOP - he doesnt explain it for the bareback community.

I think we bareback cos it feels better, and its taboo... we're all sexual risk takers. We were the ones who pushed the sexual limits as we were getting to grips with out sexuality. We are the ones who will take those risks, and live with the consequences... whatever they may be.

We like to spunk in arses, we like to have guys load us up anonymously in dark rooms - its not about closeness or intimacy.. its about filthy hot raw sex... no strings, with as many guys as possible.

Or thats my reasons anway.

I'm a slut... simple as.

[HardhatBB]

i bareback

a> feels 1000% better

b> marking my territory with my DNA

c> most btms want it raw anyways, cuz insertion is 100 times easier.

and yes,,,i get off on the "Taboo" of raw bareback fucking. fuck the Safesex nazis!

[ronetbus]

I think intimacy is a bigger factor than some guys posting seem to think. Anonimity does not preclude intimacy- the intimacy of the immediate act. I agree with the idea that the taboo aspect is huge as well. As for the dominace thing, I do love to be dominated. But there is a certain sense of victory in being the vehicle for a man's load and collecting it inside me.

[bjbottom]

I suppose on some subconscious level nothing is more intimate than fucking a load into someone's ass even if it is two anonymous strangers who never exchange a word with one another. I get off knowing my ass just milked a load out of a top's cock and that man's load is now part of me.