Obsessed with cheating?

[smithb48]

I'm about to get married (to another male), but I can't shake the pleasure I get from fantasizing about cheating on him. In my fantasies, I'm taking poz loads and still fucking him without his knowing whether I've converted or not. So far, it is just a fantasy, but I'm afraid I will eventually give into it. Does anyone else cheat regularly or fantasize about it? I'm a good person and not out to hurt the man I love. It is just a fantasy.

[JXC]

Maybe you should just talk to your Husband about, be honest and maybe he might be understanding about it, but if your worried about possibly hurting him (physically and/or emotionally) than it might not be the best idea to act on this fantasy.

[smithb48]

Thank you very much. I just get carried away reading stories similar to my fantasy. We do talk dirty about things we would likely never do, and it has been great foreplay. He actually does like seeing me sucking off numerous strangers in sex clubs, but I have never been fucked in a club.

[TigerMilner]

You definitely need to open up to him and share this. Til death do us part can be a really long fucking time. And you will cheat on him. It's in men's nature. When I was a young pretty twink I wanted to settle down with Mr. Right and live the hetero dream only with a man. Then I learned that it is not realistic. Very few couples are 100% monogamous. I mean truthfully monogamous. Lots of couples claim monogamy, but most are like you. One at least sneaks out and has his private fantasy. Let's face it, it is a thrill. And lets also face that sex with one man only forever gets very boring. We need that charge of the newness, fresh meat, the hunt. It's in our nature. Add in the thrill of possibly of getting caught and the accompanying adrenaline rush and you have something more intoxicating than the sex itself.

I believe any committed relationship between two men should include acknowledging these traits of human nature. You and he need to accept this in each other and accept the fact that seeking outside sexual releases does not diminish your relationship or the love and commitment you have for each other. If anything, it affirms it. I've met many couples who do accept this and acknowledge each others needs in this way and they seem to have more fun and less resentments against each other and the relationship. This is what I hope for.

I've had three relationships (committed, live-together type) that all ended badly. I hope for one with a man who will enjoy the fact that I am open with my sexuality and will get off on seeing me act these things out. He can be a part of it or just want to hear about it when I get home. Or read about it on my blog. He might even become my camera man.

If you are serious about marrying him, talk to him. Otherwise, you are dooming it from the beginning. And if he reacts badly and walks away, you just saved yourself, and him, a great deal of heartache, worry and pain. If he is the one for you, he will get on board. Your openess and honesty should show him how much you want to make this work for the long term. Good luck.

I have to add I am a bit excited for you. You have in front of you the opportunity to get every thing you ever dreamed of. And way more.

[drscorpio]

I worried about giving into my fantasies about taking loads from other men. I had a talk with my husband; we had been monogamous for 6 years at that time. He and I decided to open our relationship. We tried a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"policy, but we soon realized that we actually wanted to hear about each other's sexual adventures. Within 2 years, we were going to bathhouses together where he would put me in the sling and recruit guys to breed me.

It would be a shame for you to carry guilt and shame about your fantasies, if it turns out he shares them.

[cumslut23]

I have cheated in every relationship I have been in and I agree. Raise it with your partner. Start with suggesting a threesome and see what he says

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I am blessed with the relationship tiger dreams of. Early on we agreed to be open. Some encounters aren't discussed, but are not hidden (really no fun describing play that was ho-hum). Others we share together, and yet others we talk about (the hot fun ones). At sex parties we often take time to watch the other have fun.

This was after each of us had been in purportedly monogamous ones with partners who played on the side, but took offense if we did. My worst was a lover who had full on lovers in multiple cities. He was stupid to have me as his IT guy to fix things that went awry...

Bottom line, we are guys. We were never designed to have sex with only one person. The healthy long term relationships seem to understand that.

[smithb48]

Wow! I'm blown away by the thoughtful replies to my post. You guys are awesome to take the time to give me your honest input. I will talk with him. We've had three-ways and have been open at sex clubs, but he did ask me if he would be enough for me when we get married. He is open to playing together, so he may be open to a somewhat open relationship. Thank you all for your replies!

[Pozbtm4breeding]

I agree with the others, it is best to talk to him and have an open dialogue about sex and your relationship. I am in a 20 yr relationship that started monogamous and has evolved into a pretty open one now. Our approach is a "don't ask don't tell" unless it is really hot and we want to share. I believe you will find that the rules change over the years and it important to begin the relationship with the ability to openly discuss each other's sexual needs. I wish I would have had this advice at the beginning of my relationship.

[stevenwatt]

I am a chronic cheater too. My neg partner is really straight laced and does NOT approve of "open" relationships. He's caught me cheating at least 5 times...but he still forgives me and I try after being caught to be "good"....for about 3-4 months theni'm back to my old ways....

[gaysk8er86]

I started off cheating with on my girl. I used to feel weird. But then I started reading more and realized I love being a sissy. So now I do it often, but have a few reg guys. Hardly any randoms. She still has no idea but I cheat on her one a week.

[Seed Seeker]

Ditto for me! Been together for a few years and I've always cheated. We have 3somes but that's it. Working on opening him up more. Part of the fantasy for me is doing some things behind his back while working to make him piggier.

[WDS82]

I'm sort of obsessed with cheating from a different angle.

I know my bf is cheating on me, I even know who one person is - I suspect there maybe more.... He says he's monogamous; whereas I am poly (well in theory).

With the people I don't know about an imagine he might be playing with I find intriguing and my imagination runs wild. With the one person I know for definite I am less happy, but that's for reasons not about him cheating...

[smithb48]

So, WDS82, you are intrigued by other people he cheats with? Does that mean you are somewhat turned on by it?

[WDS82]

Some of the possibilities I think of do turn me on yes

Some worry me lots... Such as him taking lots of poz loads - cos he only bb's - in fact the one i know of worries me on that front too - but that isn't main thing i'm having issues with.

tbh - i really get excited by idea of seeing his cock penetrate an arse or a cock to penetrate him... I have imagined a good friend of mine fucking him too cos he's a good size and far bigger than anything he's taken (by about 3" length) and friend is excellent fucker....

Also had one dream of coming home to find him being fucked hard by someone and i just slip my cock in too

Yes I have some odd fantasies