Obsessed with cheating?

[goninballsdeep]

This is a great discussion, smithb48.  Like many here, I feel openness and honesty with your partner is the best way to go with these fantasies, too.  

A couple of other thoughts I'm having:  I totally agree about the possibility of having a relationship that is open sexually.  It takes some work to learn not to base our ideals as gay men on ideals set by a heterosexual society.  Openness can be very healthy when it's coming from a place of good and loving intent.  Something to talk and explore with him.  And lastly, I want to congratulate you on the upcoming marriage.  When I realized we were the same age, I started to think of all history we have witnessed as gay men in our lifetimes.  We have come so far since we were in high school during the start of the HIV/AIDS epidemic.  I remember the anxiety and fear that was around.  And the hate that developed out of that fear.  And although we still have more work to be done, the fact that you will be able to marry the man you love is inspiring and heartwarming.  

As we limit the effects of bullying, how nice to think that teens coming out now can love more freely and be themselves.  

 

Good luck with the talks, and have a great wedding!

[cam1972]

You definitely need to open up to him and share this. Til death do us part can be a really long fucking time. And you will cheat on him. It's in men's nature. When I was a young pretty twink I wanted to settle down with Mr. Right and live the hetero dream only with a man. Then I learned that it is not realistic. Very few couples are 100% monogamous. I mean truthfully monogamous. Lots of couples claim monogamy, but most are like you. One at least sneaks out and has his private fantasy. Let's face it, it is a thrill. And lets also face that sex with one man only forever gets very boring. We need that charge of the newness, fresh meat, the hunt. It's in our nature. Add in the thrill of possibly of getting caught and the accompanying adrenaline rush and you have something more intoxicating than the sex itself.

 

 

This paints a very bleak picture for the romantic like me.... It's not realistic to believe that I can have a monogamous relationship with someone I love? I know I've been cheated on... But I still need to believe that there are still guys out there who believe in honesty, integrity and commitment.. If you want an open relationship, then by all means, go for it. But don't go behind your partner's back and fuck someone else. If you want to do that, then why marry? Marriage is about trust, honesty, commitment and love. I say this very kindly, yet passionately.... Don't marry him if you KNOW that you are going to end up cheating. It'll bite both of you in the ass sooner or later.. Probably sooner than you expect.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

So, WDS82, you are intrigued by other people he cheats with? Does that mean you are somewhat turned on by it?

How did conversation with bf go?