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How Open Are You With Your Doctor?


TigerMilner

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You don't have to go into details with your doctor.  I simply say that I have had bareback sex since my last visit so I want to full STD test.  He's not stupid and he doesn't lecture.  He will tell me when there are local outbreaks of something and to be aware.  I admire that and fully expect that from him.  And even though occasionally a test comes back positive for some STD, we always catch it before I notice any symptoms and we take care of it right away.  

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I really don't don't expect to go into graphic details about all my escapades nor am I looking for validation of my choices, but I am looking for a judgement free environment like I had with the doctor I just lost.  I mean when the intake nurse told me I could expect a syphillis test anually as part of their routine care I said "ANNUALLY?"  I said "I expect that every time I come in here".  She said if you are using condoms annually is sufficient.  I replied, "Exactly".  That is not a judgement free conversation in my book. 

 

I think it should be assumed by people who work in HIV clinics that we don't use condoms.  Get over that rhetoric and move on.  Treatment as prevention is so much more enlightened.  And much more realistic.

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I am totally open with my doctor, a straight woman. She knows barebacking is a calculated risk for some people. She and her colleagues -- one of whom volunteers at the STI clinic -- has never judged me or lectured me. She makes sure I get the care I need. But... things might be different in downtown Toronto than other parts of the world. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

My Doc know I am a total slut. It makes things so much easier. Although he was not amused when I showed up for an appointment with my hole loaded and leaking cum.

HAHAHAHA. Okay that is really funny.  

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I think it should be assumed by people who work in HIV clinics that we don't use condoms.  Get over that rhetoric and move on.  Treatment as prevention is so much more enlightened.  And much more realistic.

Obviously being on here I am not a huge fan of condoms, but eliminating them entirely as a method of controlling disease vectors is just not a great idea.  

 

For people like sex workers condoms are still IMO a good option.  Hell even for people that don't mind them they are a good option.  There is still many more pathogens out there besides HIV, and condoms in general provide a decent level of protection for those things.   

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I have a doctor who is young male, I kind of find it hard to open up to him about that. Prefer older/male if I'm gonna be completely open.

I've had the exact same experience.  If find younger doctors are much more judgemental, and quick to critique, than the older more seasoned docs.  

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  • 5 weeks later...

I am not entirely open with my HIV specialist. But i am open with my psychologist. In Canada, if you're HIV+, you can get a a psychologist who specializes in HIV and who coordinates with your HIV doctor. My HIV doctor only ever tells me to use condoms. But the psychologist is able to speak more feely. I also have a social worker, who is basically a major fag hag and who is totally cool with my life. But the HIV doctor is pretty text book. He doesn't like to go off script. He just tells me he would prefer I use condoms. 

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I have a local gp who I'm not out with, but I also go to a hiv gp and I am completely comfortable with her. She has got me on Prep, with all the tests etc. She understands that guys have reached a level of condom fatigue, and do fuck raw, so being on Prep is the next best thing.

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That happened to me once, too. He had to give me a physical. I didn't know in advance he was going to give me a physical. 

 

My Doc know I am a total slut. It makes things so much easier. Although he was not amused when I showed up for an appointment with my hole loaded and leaking cum.

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  • 3 months later...

I just came from my third visit with the new Doctor. He switched my meds from Complera to Stribild is the reason for me going back a third time so soon. This time he came right out and asked me "Is anyone fucking you?" I thought the nurse in the room was going to turn beat red. I said "yes". He then said, "Unprotected?" I said "Yes". He then said "Do they cum inside you?" I said "Of course". He then said, "I didn't mean to say THEY, I should have said HE". I then said "No, you were right to say THEY". He then asked me when was the last time? I told him Tuesday and that was the end of it. He is going to work out just fine.

 

I have not seen the condom nazi intake nurse again.

 

I am relieved. It turns out I'm friends with this Doctor's husband and didn't realize it til my first appointment with him. I was a little concerned that knowing that was going to be another reason not to be upfront with him, but I feel comfortable that he will not discuss me as a patient with his husband. I like him alot so far. But I still miss my old Doctor. 

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