After A Sexual Assault

[cheatingjock]

So I recently had a very bad experience that I'm not really ready to go into too much detail about yet but suffice to say hookup that went bad and forcefully used against my will resulting in a hospital stay.

 

Since this I haven't had sex (nearly two weeks now). However, am extremely horny but also have panic attacks if I try to do anything. I've had depression and anxiety issues before, and have also had previous past experiences with rape when I was much younger (too young to really compare to now).

 

Question is if anyone has had these experiences themselves? As far as both being horny as fuck but also afraid? How long did it take you to deal with these issues?

 

I am seeing a therapist but it kind of feels like I can't tell her what I've done before this because then it's like I was asking for it based on the risks and things I was doing.

 

And I wasn't sure if this should go here or general discussion since it's not really a medical question so much as mental health question, so if it needs moved please do and I'm sorry.

Edited February 16, 2015 by cheatingjock

[drscorpio]

The fact that you are a load-taking slut does not in anyway mean you were asking to be hurt and taken advantage of. You need to try to let go of that. If your therapist seems to be blaming you at all, go get a better one. 

 

I have had tops go a little too far a few times. I employed the "get back on the horse that threw you" technique and went right back to taking cock and cum. But it sounds like what happened to you went way beyond anything I have been through. Still you have all my support. I hope things get better for you. 

[Bttm2go]

Agree with drscorpio. Also you need to be as open as you can with your therapist to have good results. If you feel you cannot do that with your current therapist, then find another one. You may also want to try going to a bathhouse to take care of your "needs". At least there would be some guys to help you if the hook up got out of hand. i hope you can find a way to move on.

[cheatingjock]

i don't think she's judging me so much as i am. and i think i'm uncomfortble telling her cuz she seems like a nice lady...like that she wouldn't understand. 

[baggerr]

The cool thing about sex is other than wanting to there is no rule that says you have to have sex  Everyone deals with things at different speeds and you're going to be sketchy when you get back to it like anything else. The harder you fall off the horse the harder it is to get back on, just dont get on a wild bucking rodeo horse. Find a mellow old horse thats happy to just walk to the trail

As far as the gal goes, she should understand as someone that is vulnerable to a sexual assault. Dont let the pressure of someone else push you when you dont want to. 

 

Dont know your situation of course but I take precautions when going to meet someone. I almost never meet more than 1 person when its someone I dont know, I always ask if they have roommates or live alone. I dont get tied up, ever, dot usually meet at a hotel and when I arrive I almost always use the restroom so I can check out more than the front room just to make sure(I NEVER trust anyone I dont know) and if I say no or stop thats what it fucking means and if I have to say it twice we have a problem.  I'm 2nd degree black belt and not lacking in size or strength so I can handle what I need to but I HATE to to have any confrontation and avoid being physical at all costs because people end up in the hospital, but I had to use the skills once on a meetup a while back. Short version I got out uninjured but they did not. If I were just a regular Joe I would not have been able to defend myself and it would not have been a god outcome for me. Thankfully, it was a bad outcome for them:) I'm thankful I learned those skills as they have saved y life twice. Was going to share what happened but you guys probably dont care lol

Learning some basic self defense is probably a good idea for guys that randomly meetup with a stranger because it doesnt matter how tough you think you are, most men re not capable of handling more than 1 guy and/or a guy with a gun or knife or some sort 

[wow4761]

This will likely sound odd, but I started enjoying sex much more after being raped.

Prior, I would have sex but feel no physical pleasure. Now? The physical pleasure from sex is sometimes too much xD.

Oh, and I found that I became even more of a slut since.

Edited February 18, 2015 by wow4761

[Bottomhole]

Hey, when I got my HIV diagnosis I had similar reservations about sex and was a couple of months before I even considered it. I'm still taking things slow, but I can only imagine the trauma you endured. I'd strongly recommend talking about it with someone before it festers and develops into a bad spell of depression. If you need a pair of online ears, you can pm me. I was very open with the first two people I slept with since. It takes a certain amount of trust, one occasion that went bad and I got hurt, and another that went great and I've made a new friend who understands me more than most. I don't regret discussing with either person. If you have someone in mind you want to play with it might be worth discussing your mindset before hand. But definitely talking about it is a step in the right direction. 

 

Hope it turns around for you and you can start enjoying sex again. Remember there's no rush.

[cumslut23]

Buddy! We are all feeling with you. I agree with many others here. This "the bottom is here to serve the top", "it is my duty to take the cock" and so on, can be hot if it is mutual.

 

A clear no, means no. Full stop! End of story!

 

I very very strongly recommend that you are open with your therapist. If you can't, explain to her why you can't be open with her, and she might be able to recommend someone else for you. Their job and sole interest is to get you better. If that means seeing someone else, they will gladly assist. But also, trust me, at least from what you have been sharing with us in the last couple of months, I really doubt that you are the worst she has ever seen. There is a whole other world out there!!

 

So, focus on getting better and try and share with your therapist as much as possible. The more you share, the quicker you will get better!