real life vs fantasy

[muscmtl]

I'm all about real size sex I want to have sex I don't want to dream I don't want to fantasize I don't want to wait I want to have sex real actual sex

 everyone out there is more into the fantasy then sex itself. I don't know why but my Facebook has taken off and getting loads of messages from insanely hot men want to have sex with me, men that I know are way too hot for me, and I guarantee that if they were on Scruff and within distance and I started to hit on them they wouldn't hit me back.

Spend hours and hours of cruising,exchanging pictures on pps and websites, with very little results, and the problems always the same: the guy I'm interacting with doesn't want sex he's in a fantasy while having a conversation with me. Anyone miss the eighties when you Cruised a guy and you would have sex, never pulling down your pants in the bar to confirm how long it is, how fat it is, how uncut it i,  how hard it is

[Patrick]

Things aren't like it used to be. The world in geral is  in a continuous changing theatre play.

People are different, their goals and desires are different, even the gay community is different... their are in many positive and good things but unfortunately there are a lot of negative and bad things too.

 Sometimes we to adjust to its really but we never have to forget  be who we truly are.

Man be yourself, be true and free, defend in what you believe. That way  you will make a difference and be less affected. I understand you very well in this subject and sometimes this hits very bad..

[tallslenderguy]

The net and smart phones have definitely changed the cruising dynamic.  Getting sex was different during the 80's, no doubt about it. I was living in Hampton Roads VA at the time (Virginia Beach, Norfolk...), home to the worlds largest navel base. There were lots of easy cruise places, but I remember one beach in particular where you could go pretty much any time and find anywhere from 5 to 30 guys cruising. And restroom sex was so common, there were several places you could go and get almost instant sex. There wasn't the buffer of space and electronics. 

And yes, the net does serve those looking for fantasy much better than cruising places do. I run into that a lot, guys will chat me up to the point of actually asking for my address and then disappear from the face of the earth.  On the other hand, I like the component of being able to exchange fantasy and info with someone ahead of time, for me it's like foreplay and gets me even hornier, but I do want to follow through and actually do it vs just jack off to fantasy... which I find very frustrating.

[drscorpio]

The barrier to entry for online cruising has gotten too low. It used to be work to look for sex online, so anyone doing it was really into it.  Now any idiot with a smartphone can do it.

[PhoenixGeoff]

It's funny...one of the bars here did a '70s themed blackout party (complete with an old school DJ spinning vinyl!) and precisely because it captured the vibe so well (complete with backroom), it really drove home just how much things have changed.

Perhaps I'm becoming a curmudgeon in my old age, but I'm really starting to come around to the opinion that quite a lot of the technological changes we have seen over the course of my lifetime have been for the worse.  I look now at what the Internet brings to me that is unabashedly positive.  I can only think of a few things and they are all research tools I use for work. 

Let's face it:  online hookup sites have ruined cruising.  They draw us in with the promise of easy sex.  But how often do they really deliver?  Yes, I've gotten hookups that way, but it's hit-or-miss.  And the honest truth is sometimes it really is easier to use it as masturbation material.  I'm as guilty of that as anyone else.  Meanwhile, if you can find a bar with a backroom, if you have your cock out stroking, at the very least someone is going to give you head.

Let's face it:  widespread cheap porn has ruined sex.  It's way too easy to say "Fuck it" and not go through the hassle of getting laid and just stay home and rub one out to a video.  That and it sets expectations that real life will never be able to live up to, at least not on any consistent basis.  That's the problem:  porn has gotten too good, too varied and too available.  In the past you might have a few VHS tapes that had models that probably weren't exactly your thing having lackluster sex.  Now Rule 34 is in full effect, and you can vicariously enjoy exactly the kind of sex with the kind of men you always wanted.  It's a much stronger competitor for the real thing than it used to be.  And it's only getting worse.  VR will be a disaster.  And I really hope the day never comes when really good sex bots are a thing, because they will kill real sex almost completely.

Even sites like this are a problem.  I don't really want to talk about having sex.  I want to have sex.  The sorts of conversations we have here really never came up all that much in real life prior to the internet, except perhaps in the most fleeting of ways.  Why?  Because if we were face-to-face talking about sex, our cocks were going to be out two seconds later.  And really, how many ways is it possible to have the same conversation over and over again?  "I really love getting fucked raw and taking loads!" "Really?  That's hot...so do I!"  "And I really love fucking ass bareback!"  "HOT!!!"  That's a good 95% of this site right there.  Again, it's that vicarious thrill, this time from thinking about and talking about our fantasies, rather than watching them.  Just like with porn, it's not quite as good as the real thing, but all too often good enough.

But it's so hard to stay away from all this precisely because it is good enough.  It kinda makes me wish I could get internet access that blocked out all the sex sites, the porn, the hookup sites (and all the other time sucks like Facebook and Twitter and all that).

More than that, it's killing our local communities.  How many guys don't do bars now because they can just sit online?  How many guys don't support their local leather shop who actually makes what he sells because we can order stuff mass produced in China from some website?  Every minute you are sitting here instead of getting out of the house is a minute that could have been spent getting laid, or actually having real friends, or doing something in a real, not virtual, community.

That's what the internet is:  Virtual.  Good enough.  No effort needed.  And the price we pay for "good enough" is the mindblowing awesomeness of the real thing (that yes, does take a little work).  It's a shitty trade.  We're stuck with internet mediocrity.

[muscmtl]

Was at the bathouse this Saturday, and there was at least 300 guys there. At one time, I counted (need to do something after loading an ass before getting hard again) 10 guys in their rooms, door opened, on their cellphones, the type of guys that barely looks up from their cells to see who's checking them. Every type of guy one earth was at the bathhouse so its not a question of not finding what u want. Of course, these cellbathers had quick connect adds on bbrt, advertizing they were at the bathouse looking for gigantic dick (how original)

Here is where reality and fantasy clash. There were some gigantic dicks around, but they were also a lot of hot muscle porn material bottoms, all hunting for gigantic dicks. As a top, i can tell you that once i came twice, i m done. If you successfully fucked 10 musc bottoms, 2 of which got your pozzed load, you are not going to stick around to fuck everyone else. So, if you have an ordinary body and face, as were the cellbathers, hunting for big dicks while surrounded by tons of gorgeous muscle bottoms is bad economics.

Most hilarious was that at least two of the cellbathers advertised on bbrt as cumdump looking for any loads, and yet here they were, on their cell, cruising, and cruising, and...

Edited February 13, 2017 by muscmtl

[AirmaxUK]

One of the few things I quite like about Squirt.org is that you can leave a mini review of the guy on his profile with a handful of sex emoticons to say what you got up to.  It makes it easy to see who's likely to be a real player and who's just one-handed-typing. It seems to work quite well.

Generally with online things, fairly early on I usually give out my number and say if u wanna meet, call and we can set it up rather than endless messaging. That usually is a good barrier to sort the serious from the fantasists. 

[bberik]

That's why I rarely hook up with local people from where I live. People are so boring. Cell phones. Condom nazis. Just want to chat. Better going to Berlin,  leaving my phone in my hotel room and go to e.g. the club Bull, drink one beer and head for the darkroom and play for a few hours. Suck some dick,  fuck, be fucked, no condoms,  get filled with cum. That's life. If it wasn't for my family I'd move there.

Edited February 13, 2017 by bberik

[hungry_hole]

On 2017-02-13 at 0:27 PM, muscmtl said:

Most hilarious was that at least two of the cellbathers advertised on bbrt as cumdump looking for any loads, and yet here they were, on their cell, cruising, and cruising, and...

I was in this same sauna in Montreal October 2016 and I was surprised by the number of guys in their rooms but glued to their cellphone.

[chargedodger]

We are becoming more and more a spectator society.Personal participation seems unreal to many.

[Guest Deviantlad]

We need to get back to the old way and actively participating in the action that goes on. Guyz are missing out on so much just being spectators. 

[Theo8]

I don't do on line hookups because I just don't like them.  If I want laid, I rather go cruise.  My first choice would be a bathhouse.  I go on off nights and earlier in the evening.  Way easier to get laid than going after all the bars close and it gets packed.

[fucknfeedme]

I totally agree that most folks just want to fantasize.  That is why I prefer to go to parties, bathouses or resorts which cater to fucking.  Love CCBC in PS for this reason.  There is always someone there that wants to load or get loaded.

BBRT- fucknfeedme