Is stealthing morally okay?

[WellyDomNZ]

I don't think it is morally wrong - if you have any gifts it is your duty to share them and if the bottom doesn't realise this then you need to stealth him.

[hornycumslut91]

honestly, I was stealthed. Whether it was on accident or not, it doesn't matter. Anyone who has been stealthed and found out they were pozzed would be devastated by it. If you want to get pozzed, or poz someone who wants it, fine it's your choice. Just don't make other people suffer.

[Pozlover1]

Of course it’s wrong to do that. Even anonymous sex is supposed to be an act of love. 

I don’t see how to make it illegal without radically increasing Government’s involvement in our sex lives.

but Karma’s a bitch and it’s as certain as gravity. 

[bberik]

In general I don't think it's right. If two people have agreed on condom, both parts should accept that.

For myself, I get turned on by getting stealthed. Most likely it won't happen to me, because I walk away if someone insists on using condom.

[Rickmaxwell]

It's most definately wrong, I absolutely love being a bottom slut for rough dom daddy(s)  but I'm always addiment about them wearing condoms, unfortunately the nature of the men I let fuck me are the type of men who will decide my wishes are worthless and more often than not they end up taking off the condom or the occasional "it broke" 

[hungry_hole]

On 1/13/2019 at 10:55 PM, Rickmaxwell said:

It's most definately wrong, I absolutely love being a bottom slut for rough dom daddy(s)  but I'm always addiment about them wearing condoms, unfortunately the nature of the men I let fuck me are the type of men who will decide my wishes are worthless and more often than not they end up taking off the condom or the occasional "it broke" 

I you expect that anonymous daddies will always respect your will you are being naive.

This may not be what you want to hear but you can protect yourself from being stealth by simply avoiding being bred by anonymous cocks. When the action is anonymous you are no more than an anonymous hole that a top wants to breed and fulfill his fetish without any concern for you. That's the nature of anonymous action.

 

 

[coastalbender]

On 1/17/2019 at 12:33 PM, hungry_hole said:

This may not be what you want to hear but you can protect yourself from being stealth by simply avoiding being bred by anonymous cocks. When the action is anonymous you are no more than an anonymous hole that a top wants to breed and fulfill his fetish without any concern for you. That's the nature of anonymous action.

 

 

 

So much yes! Anonymous fucking is implied consent to get pozzed, whether openly or with stealth. Anonymous bottoming == bug chasing, no exceptions.

[tallslenderguy]

Interesting to see where this conversation has gone in two years.

i never was a chaser or had the desire to be pozzed.  i found out i was poz when i was getting tested to go on PreP.  i'm pretty sure i know the guy who pozzed me and he lied about being poz.  It doesn't matter to me. i don't 'blame' him, i invited him to my house to fuck me on many occasions.  i never wanted to be pozzed, but i always wanted all of the guy fucking me. Condoms offend me pschologically more than physically, but that's me.  i don't want to transfer my psychological make up onto anyone else or presume they are like me.  my psychology does not dictate social morality. 

Two years later, i still think it is morally wrong to try and seed someone against their knowledge or desire.  To me, the most immoral thing a person can do is vilolate another persons volition.  'Alpha' or not, unless You were raised by and live in a pack of canines, social norms are not going to recognize Your desire to do whatever You please. There are definitely sub cultures that will though, and as long as You move in those circles, yYou're probably ok.  The thing that differentiates us (people) from animals or objects, is the ability to reason.  i know. There are those who wish to be "slaves," some who wish to be seen as "objects."  They key is, it is their wish.  Treating those as such is not a violation of their will, it's affirmation of their desire. 

This is where this stuff all gets tricky by my estimation.  The Guys i know who identify as "Alpha" (gay) Males really don't fuck just any guy, they fuck the ones presenting as bottoms.  The consent to penetrate is there.  Where it gets tricky for me is how many, both tops and bottoms, are conflicted about BB sex.  How many on both sides purposely BB despite their profile saying "safe only," for instance.  

Still, if i guy tells me condom only, i will do everything i can to convince him otherwise, but i wouldn't deem it okay to violate his will and 'stealth' him, and cannot imagine ever doing that as a top.  As a bottom though, i have had a few who sheathed through a GH at an ABS and have sucked them just so i could bite a hole in the condom. i've done that, but still think it's wrong. 

my personal wiring as a bottom is such that i end up loving a guy who does certain things with me without asking permission. i've had several Tops piss in me without asking and the effect is i love them for it.  But that is different, because it is not a violation of my will, it is an understanding of it without them having to ask. One of the things i love about D/s dynamic is the implied consent incumbent in such a relationship. Going full circle, i think that is really what stealthers are looking for, a relationship where they can act without having to ask permission. 

 

[find91]

On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 12:33 PM, hungry_hole said:

I you expect that anonymous daddies will always respect your will you are being naive.

This may not be what you want to hear but you can protect yourself from being stealth by simply avoiding being bred by anonymous cocks. When the action is anonymous you are no more than an anonymous hole that a top wants to breed and fulfill his fetish without any concern for you. That's the nature of anonymous action.

 

 

Wrong a lot of people get stealth by people they hookup with or even chat with on grinder it's not just by anonymous cocks or hookups. I do agree if it's anonymous and you're going bare the chances of getting poz dick is high. most poz tops will fuck you assuming your poz.

[orionboy1]

I personally think stealthing a negative guy is really deviant and not in a good way.

Cant believe this question is even needing to be asked? Of course its morally wrong! 

That is a terrible way to treat another human being, much less another fellow gay, we are family aren't we? 

[find91]

I know this is probably un unpopular opinion but frankly stealthing is no different then rape. To be clear it is morally wrong. I see nothing wrong with chasers they have given their consent to get pozzed. But to try and poz someone with out their knowing is cruel and malicious. You want to rape someone own the fact that you are a predatory rapist don't blame the bottom that they wanted it especially if the explicitly said they want you to wear condoms.

For bottoms that aren't on PReP and go bareback that's a more complicated thing you are definitely taking a high risk and they are a lot of poz top that will fuck you not out of some perverse sense of infecting you but because most will assume you are either poz or on PreP

I would like to make it clear that my issue has nothing to do with conversion but with consent.

[tallslenderguy]

4 minutes ago, find91 said:

Wrong a lot of people get stealth by people they hookup with or even chat with on grinder it's not just by anonymous cocks or hookups. I do agree if it's anonymous and you're going bare the chances of getting poz dick is high. most poz tops will fuck you assuming your poz.

my understanding of "stealthing" is that it (simply?) means removing a condom without the partners knowledge/consent? (i googled it to confirm lol). i think that meaning has been extended my many as an intent from poz tops to poz their bottom.  i'd call that "stealth pozzing" vs just stealthing?  i've applied the same logic to pissing, and have been what i call "stealth pissed" by some tops who didn't ask, just did it. 

i originally agreed with find91, but this made me reconsider.  In part, i still agree that avoiding anonymous cock probably affords a measure of protection. To me, grindr and hookup still constitute "anonymous," but that's just my interpretation.  i've had long term FB's that i still think of as anonymous because our only relationship is hookup sex. The truth is, there are guys who get pozzed by long term partners in so called 'monogamous' relationships.  The notion of "protection" is a matter of degree, never really an absolute. Even condom sex is more accurately "safer sex," not absolutely "safe sex."  In 2019, the safest sex (by evidence) is with someone on meds, either PreP or HIV suppressed if poz.  Things have changed. 

[find91]

18 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

Interesting to see where this conversation has gone in two years.

i never was a chaser or had the desire to be pozzed.  i found out i was poz when i was getting tested to go on PreP.  i'm pretty sure i know the guy who pozzed me and he lied about being poz.  It doesn't matter to me. i don't 'blame' him, i invited him to my house to fuck me on many occasions.  i never wanted to be pozzed, but i always wanted all of the guy fucking me. Condoms offend me pschologically more than physically, but that's me.  i don't want to transfer my psychological make up onto anyone else or presume they are like me.  my psychology does not dictate social morality. 

Two years later, i still think it is morally wrong to try and seed someone against their knowledge or desire.  To me, the most immoral thing a person can do is vilolate another persons volition.  'Alpha' or not, unless You were raised by and live in a pack of canines, social norms are not going to recognize Your desire to do whatever You please. There are definitely sub cultures that will though, and as long as You move in those circles, yYou're probably ok.  The thing that differentiates us (people) from animals or objects, is the ability to reason.  i know. There are those who wish to be "slaves," some who wish to be seen as "objects."  They key is, it is their wish.  Treating those as such is not a violation of their will, it's affirmation of their desire. 

This is where this stuff all gets tricky by my estimation.  The Guys i know who identify as "Alpha" (gay) Males really don't fuck just any guy, they fuck the ones presenting as bottoms.  The consent to penetrate is there.  Where it gets tricky for me is how many, both tops and bottoms, are conflicted about BB sex.  How many on both sides purposely BB despite their profile saying "safe only," for instance.  

Still, if i guy tells me condom only, i will do everything i can to convince him otherwise, but i wouldn't deem it okay to violate his will and 'stealth' him, and cannot imagine ever doing that as a top.  As a bottom though, i have had a few who sheathed through a GH at an ABS and have sucked them just so i could bite a hole in the condom. i've done that, but still think it's wrong. 

my personal wiring as a bottom is such that i end up loving a guy who does certain things with me without asking permission. i've had several Tops piss in me without asking and the effect is i love them for it.  But that is different, because it is not a violation of my will, it is an understanding of it without them having to ask. One of the things i love about D/s dynamic is the implied consent incumbent in such a relationship. Going full circle, i think that is really what stealthers are looking for, a relationship where they can act without having to ask permission. 

 

Nicely put man and I admire you're candor, but I disagree with you're notion of stealthers "looking for, a relationship where they can act without having to ask permission" From what I've seen and heard. It's simply about control, power and degradation. If you truly wanted a relationship you will be upfront about your status. Why hide that you're positive? Yes it may scare prospective subs away but it will be a test to weed out the true and deserving. You only hide because you know it give you an advantage over another. It's no different than why people tag buildings or why animals you use urine to mark their territory, it's  a stealthers way of putting a mark on a person. Marking and knowing that they have defiled a person. That form of power is very intoxicating especially when the bottom does not know. They have fundamentally turned them into a fool.

[Sunovabesh]

17 minutes ago, find91 said:

I know this is probably un unpopular opinion but frankly stealthing is no different then rape. To be clear it is morally wrong. I see nothing wrong with chasers they have given their consent to get pozzed. But to try and poz someone with out their knowing is cruel and malicious. You want to rape someone own the fact that you are a predatory rapist don't blame the bottom that they wanted it especially if the explicitly said they want you to wear condoms.

For bottoms that aren't on PReP and go bareback that's a more complicated thing you are definitely taking a high risk and they are a lot of poz top that will fuck you not out of some perverse sense of infecting you but because most will assume you are either poz or on PreP

I would like to make it clear that my issue has nothing to do with conversion but with consent.

Agreed. If a bottom is begging, and they're acknowledging the issues at hand, therefore it is consensual, therefore it is okay. However, if you plan to do so without consent, I simply cannot overstate how wrong that is.

[tallslenderguy]

16 minutes ago, find91 said:

I know this is probably un unpopular opinion but frankly stealthing is no different then rape... to try and poz someone with out their knowing is cruel and malicious. 

i agree. i really cannot see a difference either.