Frustrating Group sex

[bbinbpark]

So frustrating and I don't know what to make of this.  

Yesterday while I was on my bareback adam4adam screenname I got hit up by a TopGuy that I've chatted with on and off for a couple of months.  It has never worked out to meet up, and I was trying to figure out if he was flaky or just not interested.  When I sent him my facepic, he told me he was trying to set up a group thing with one of his VersBuds, and long story short I agreed to meet them later in the evening when his friend got home.  I was expecting to get fucked by both, and when I got there, TopGuy was getting his cock sucked by VersGuy.  VersGuy was blindfolded and wearing a fetish outfit, and the scene had a lot of potential.  

It was tight quarters, the way the sofa, ottoman the guys were placed, and I crawled in to start sucking the VersGuys cock.  A couple times I tried to suck TopGuys dick, but his VersGuy wouldn't let up long enough for me to show my skills, and while I was trying to suck TopGuys cock VersGuys cock was neglected.  At one point when I came up to suck TopGuy, VersGuy grabbed my head and pushed it back into his crotch wanting me to suck him some more.  I didn't realize he was close, but he came shortly after and I swallowed his sweet load.  TopGuy seemed pissed about this and sat down on the sofa.  VersGuy was relaxing in the afterglow of shooting, and I tried to play with TopGuy, but he brushed my hand away from his cock.   I didn't know what to make of it, and I asked if he came, he said it would take him a while.  His body language was all off, clear he didn't want to play anymore, and the VersBud was lying back on the sofa, blindfolded with a satisfied smile on his face.   After a minute or so I decided to leave, because it was just awkward.

On the way home, I sent him a text and told him I felt awkward.  He texted back asking me, "what happened?"  I pointed out him pushing my hand away, and he apologizes saying he didn't mean to do it and made a mistake.  He also tells me that VerseBud loved my oral skills.  

I really don't know what to make of the whole thing, i don't know if I'm asking advice or just trying to get this off my chest, but I felt the whole situation was fucked up.  There's always the possibility during a group thing that two of the guys might not be a match, but if I invite a guy I at least make an attempt to play with them even if they aren't what I expected.  If they were really bad, I'd probably ask them to leave before the sex got going, but I can't say I've ever had to do that.

[Read1]

BBinbPark,

From my humble read of your experience, TopGuy agreed to have you over for play. TopGuy wants to have it both ways. It's like guys who are at bathhouses and use their hands to redirect you if they are there. I say -- WFT! Why are you at a gay bathhouse? We're there/here to have bb sex. Be nice about it! Be polite, not rude. 

TopGuy wasn't taking your feelings and wants/desire into consideration. VerseBud was far more considerate and grateful for your skills. I would not meet with TopGuy any more. There are are more bb guys in the proverbial cum ocean. Move on, and try to forget about this situation. There are far more HOT situations/experiences that we experience. From time to time, we get these 'WTF' times.

Chin up, and get out there for more cum and more barebacking! You'll feel a lot better!

[bihairy]

Maybe just a case of simple lack of communication. We all like to think we read each other well but I had a situation where is was sure the guy was no way interested and for sure a top. We chatted a bit, I found out he is all bottom. Wanted my cock to breed him but was shy. Maybe if you said "let me suck that hot cock" you would know for sure?  Just a thought.  

[einathens]

poor communication all around, but it sounds to me like you were a prop in their scene when you were expecting them to be props in yours.

unless it's sexclub play where nobody knows anyone else, I only agree to multipartner play if I know and have experience with at least one of the others.

[bbzh]

Maybe the top was pissed that you extinguished the sexual energy of the other guy by making him cum?

Maybe he was punishing you for not letting him dictate how the scene went?

I haven't done tons of threesomes but I don't remember any of them being truly outstanding. Usually someone gets left out. There's often feelings of having to compete.

One thing I will say is that if you want to do a threesome, it's probably better to do it someplace neutral like a bathhouse so that no one has "home court advantage" and you can escape quickly if the vibe feels off. 

I am most uncomfortable when a couple asks me to play. I know it's just sex, but I feel somehow diminished knowing that they have this bond and will discuss me after the act. I feel that reduces me to just an object - or toy that's to be played with and tossed to the side.

[barecubtop]

Hard to say, as we all have different ways of interpreting body language and such.  It's easier said than done, but I'd just try to move on and sort of put it behind you for now.  If the top guy is interested in trying to get with you again or have you over for another group thing, then so be it. If he doesn't contact you again, then that's fine too...and maybe a good thing, since (as the others mentioned above) communication seemed off. 

I often get caught up in over-analyzing after a particularly good experience myself...in fact this week I had a great time with a guy and I'm in the middle of the whole "do I play it cool, or do I ask him out, or was it just a hookup" kind of thing. It sucks.  lol

[constructionguy]

Threesomes are difficult; somebody always feels left out or unsatisfied. Even sex with a foursome already changes the dynamic considerably. I avoid threesomes

[bbinbpark]

 

2 hours ago, constructionguy said:

Threesomes are difficult; somebody always feels left out or unsatisfied. Even sex with a foursome already changes the dynamic considerably. I avoid threesomes

I rarely have issues with threesomes.  A friend of mine once said avoid even numbers in group because it ends up that guys just pair up. 

On 5/5/2017 at 10:12 AM, einathens said:

poor communication all around, but it sounds to me like you were a prop in their scene when you were expecting them to be props in yours.

unless it's sexclub play where nobody knows anyone else, I only agree to multipartner play if I know and have experience with at least one of the others.

I spent some time off here after I posted this, and the comments about being props, seriously?  I don't expect to be a prop, and I don't expect other guys I hook up with to be a prop.  That is just plain disrespectful.  You can't have a gangbang without a cumdump or squirter.  

I could agree that the communication was poor, but I was very clear that I was looking to service orally and anally.    

[Bartje]

On ‎13‎/‎05‎/‎2017 at 4:57 AM, bbinbpark said:

 

I rarely have issues with threesomes.  A friend of mine once said avoid even numbers in group because it ends up that guys just pair up. 

I spent some time off here after I posted this, and the comments about being props, seriously?  I don't expect to be a prop, and I don't expect other guys I hook up with to be a prop.  That is just plain disrespectful.  You can't have a gangbang without a cumdump or squirter.  

I could agree that the communication was poor, but I was very clear that I was looking to service orally and anally.    

I think your friend has it wrong. You have to avoid UNEVEN numbers over three, because guys just pair up and you're at risk of being left out of the play. :-)

Edited May 16, 2017 by Bartje

[tallslenderguy]

On 5/5/2017 at 8:12 AM, einathens said:

poor communication all around, but it sounds to me like you were a prop in their scene when you were expecting them to be props in yours.

unless it's sexclub play where nobody knows anyone else, I only agree to multipartner play if I know and have experience with at least one of the others.

"Poor communication..." I've found this to be a problem in all sort of online hook up situations. There seem to be so many guys out there who either don't want to communicate or don't have a clue how to do it.  So common to see the "no endless emails" line, and I get that. There are those guys out there who only want to email with no intention of getting together: flakes.  That'd be fine if they were just up front about their desires and intentions (i.e., sexy chat). Communication. 

But the other side of the coin of "endless emails" is guys like me who want to communicate in order to ensure a better experience when we get together.  For me, the more details I know about a guy, the better the sex is going to be because I know how to cater to his wants/needs. I can't do that if I don't know, and I'm a lousy mind reader. I think writing can be a great way to communicate about sex because it can take a lot of the shyness out of it for those who feel awkward talking about sex (um, that isn't me lol), but it also gets that part out of the way so when you do get together you can focus on pure sex and not have to worry as much about communication.

I'd much rather communicate before fucking than during. When having sex, I want to be in the active mode of employing the stuff we've already communicated about. 

[SpermMyCumhole]

On ‎13‎/‎05‎/‎2017 at 1:14 AM, constructionguy said:

Threesomes are difficult; somebody always feels left out or unsatisfied. Even sex with a foursome already changes the dynamic considerably. I avoid threesomes

Threesome can work - but you need 1 bottom and 2 tops, that's only the only way.

[muscmtl]

all my 3some have 2 btms and they always work,.they each get a load

[einathens]

what I was trying to say was that you had an idea of what you wanted to happen ("I was expecting to get fucked by both..."), and you had no way of knowing if that's what the other guys wanted, nor they of what you wanted.

your expectation was that they were both going to top you. did topguy expect to fuck you both? did versguy expect to be lucky pierre? sounds like none of you knew what the other two were envisioning, so it shouldn't be surprising that at least one of you was disappointed.

not clearly stating what I was trying to say? poor communication on my part.

[BttmReady]

On 5/16/2017 at 1:06 PM, tallslenderguy said:

"Poor communication..." I've found this to be a problem in all sort of online hook up situations. There seem to be so many guys out there who either don't want to communicate or don't have a clue how to do it.  So common to see the "no endless emails" line, and I get that. There are those guys out there who only want to email with no intention of getting together: flakes.  That'd be fine if they were just up front about their desires and intentions (i.e., sexy chat). Communication. 

But the other side of the coin of "endless emails" is guys like me who want to communicate in order to ensure a better experience when we get together.  For me, the more details I know about a guy, the better the sex is going to be because I know how to cater to his wants/needs. I can't do that if I don't know, and I'm a lousy mind reader. I think writing can be a great way to communicate about sex because it can take a lot of the shyness out of it for those who feel awkward talking about sex (um, that isn't me lol), but it also gets that part out of the way so when you do get together you can focus on pure sex and not have to worry as much about communication.

I'd much rather communicate before fucking than during. When having sex, I want to be in the active mode of employing the stuff we've already communicated about. 

I totally agree with you, Tallslenderguy.  Well said!

[dnvrbttm4loads]

Sounds to me like there was a dynamic between the 2 that you weren't aware of.  My last 3 way was wih a couple in my neighborhood.  I was the bottom they were using.  They both fucked me, DP'ed me, blew there loads in me.  Everyone had a good time and we met up again for a second hot session.  The third session was as hot as first two but not sure what happened at the ending.  One of the guys sprung up from the bed and announced he was taking the dog for a walk.  I haven't been asked back.  All I can conclude is there was a dynamic between the 2 that I was unaware of and one thought a line had been crossed.  I'll stick to the organic bathhouse group sex.  Less drama.