College Boy with Internal Tension

[Guest alwaysready]

once again a serious discussion with guys on both sides and as far as I can recall, no flaming. let's keep this up. maybe in some ways we are better than less...uh...venturesome guys.

[Guest alwaysready]

thanks, topstud.  there are sure a lot of guys amongst us who could use a good topstud in their lives.  so many bottoms, so few tops.  I guess you can get the pick o the litter, as it were.

[HardaddyMA]

but no one knows the cumulative effect of years and years on a drug-

[barecubtop]

On 8/25/2017 at 7:21 PM, FunCollegeTwink said:

I'm a senior in college at the moment.  I'm an honors student, highly respected among my peers and professors, and will be applying to top PhD programs this autumn.  I'm also a total slut.  As much as I love academics, I love getting fucked bareback just as much - maybe even more.  I love getting bred.  I love getting bred a lot, and by a lot of different guys.  Every time I feel a new guy sliding into my hole, or when I slide into someone new, I feel totally amazing. 

On 8/26/2017 at 7:30 AM, bbaremich said:

I can sympthasize with you. I am a PhD candidate in biology and I am in my late-20s. I also sometimes think about how intelligent I am (I don't mean to sound cocky) and then think about how reckless I am having totally anon, no questions asked raw sex.

Same here.  Current PhD student here, on PrEP, and totally into fucking and breeding hot asses. There are times when I also feel the tension - see my comment below.

On 8/26/2017 at 0:27 PM, bbzh said:

My very unscientific theory is that people who lead high stress, highly buttoned up lives that require them to be "intellectuals" often have sexual fetishes that they almost need to live out in order to keep their brains from exploding and seeping out.

Some have mentioned above that PrEP won't spare you the other nasties that come with barebacking. That's very true. And while most guys are quick to brag about how many loads they are taking, not enough guys on here talk about the financial cost of having to be regularly treated for STDs as well as the hassle of taking time out of your schedule to see doctors and get treated - or the burden of having to inform your regular sex partners so that you aren't passing infections back and forth to each other. 

My only other advice that I can impart based on my own experience is to think long and hard before attending group sex parties like CumUnion and Biohazard. That's like 1000 times riskier.

So study hard, work hard and play hard. Just be smart about it. 

I would tend to agree with your unscientific theory.  I'm also doing a PhD and breed bottoms as often as I can.  You're right about the other "nasties", though.  Just today I was diagnosed with syphilis.  I'm fortunate that I had the time to go get tested and treated, and that our student health insurance is really good.  But, my campus doctor also made a comment about me getting STI's while I was in the clinic today - the "smart, intelligent" part of me is wondering why the fuck I am putting myself in such risky situations and wants to make behavioral changes and find someone to connect with and date.  But I know that won't last.  As soon as the recommended 2-week treatment period is over, I'll be back out there looking for hole again. 

I've often considered going to CumUnion, but your advice is sound.  It's probably best to avoid it. 

 

[bbzh]

15 hours ago, barecubtop said:

...my campus doctor also made a comment about me getting STI's while I was in the clinic today 

...I've often considered going to CumUnion, but your advice is sound.  It's probably best to avoid it. 

 

I really wish doctors would not slut shame people. Most STIs are not a big deal. It's far worse to be out here fucking a ton of guys and never getting tested and treated! Encourage those who come in for treatment to spread the word about getting tested! Don't lecture. OK now I'm lecturing. LOL. 

Regarding CumUnion, it's worth going once if it's on your bucket list. You just have to be very observant of what's going on around you and insist on a certain level of hygiene. Whenever I saw a top washing up or wiping his dick off, I was not worried about playing with him. Bottoms should be on the lookout for the guys who are rough-fucking and ripping up other bottoms' holes and getting traces of infected blood on their dicks. That's where the Hep C risk skyrockets.  

I used to go to this one party in a sauna that was pretty much non-stop bare fucking...BUT the organizers had TONS of rolls of paper towels everywhere and people used them. I never caught ANYTHING. I'm sure guys would be willing to pay a few extra bucks for paper towels if it meant they could avoid a trip to the clinic afterwards. 

Edited September 1, 2017 by bbzh

[BrockTop1973]

Michel Foucault is a pretty famous and influential philosopher who was also a pretty famous slut. Just tell people that you're modeling your career on his. 

[FunCollegeTwink]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 3:05 PM, BrockTop1973 said:

Michel Foucault is a pretty famous and influential philosopher who was also a pretty famous slut. Just tell people that you're modeling your career on his. 

Indeed he was, and that similarity was not lost on me (although I was hesitant to suggest that, lest I seem as though I wished to present myself as comparable to Foucault). 

[FunCollegeTwink]

Also, as an update, I have started PrEP after talking with my doctor a few days ago.  I haven't had much sex since starting it, as my homework load has been considerable this past week, but I'm hoping to get a lot more action in the coming days.  I'll definitely keep you all posted about how it goes!

[TheLusciousLad]

it ALWAYS has to be someone new? you really don't think you could ever just find one guy to bareback with all the time? 

i don't mean to 'shame' you at all, but just asking.. 

[FunCollegeTwink]

15 hours ago, TheLusciousLad said:

it ALWAYS has to be someone new? you really don't think you could ever just find one guy to bareback with all the time? 

i don't mean to 'shame' you at all, but just asking.. 

No, it isn't necessary that I always find someone new.  In fact, I have had some boyfriends in the past, a few of whom I have been exclusive with.  And I certainly entertain the possibility that I would find one person to bareback with in the future. 

Part of the difficulty is that I am extremely busy in general, and as an (aspiring) academic I have found that it is difficult to concretely separate my professional life from my private life.  It has been extremely difficult for me to find people who are understanding and/or flexible enough where this would not be a major issue.  Consequently, most of my sexual encounters over the past few years have been decidedly casual.  And, while I definitely do enjoy being able to have sex with new people (as it can be quite exhilarating, no?) this should not be taken to suggest that I do not appreciate steady companionship, or longer-term commitments or relationships.  It is just that, on the whole, the nature of what I do and what I wish to do in academia makes it much more difficult for me to find people where such longer-term commitments are an option (at least here, geographically speaking).

[TheLusciousLad]

24 minutes ago, FunCollegeTwink said:

No, it isn't necessary that I always find someone new.  In fact, I have had some boyfriends in the past, a few of whom I have been exclusive with.  And I certainly entertain the possibility that I would find one person to bareback with in the future. 

Part of the difficulty is that I am extremely busy in general, and as an (aspiring) academic I have found that it is difficult to concretely separate my professional life from my private life.  It has been extremely difficult for me to find people who are understanding and/or flexible enough where this would not be a major issue.  Consequently, most of my sexual encounters over the past few years have been decidedly casual.  And, while I definitely do enjoy being able to have sex with new people (as it can be quite exhilarating, no?) this should not be taken to suggest that I do not appreciate steady companionship, or longer-term commitments or relationships.  It is just that, on the whole, the nature of what I do and what I wish to do in academia makes it much more difficult for me to find people where such longer-term commitments are an option (at least here, geographically speaking).

ohhh I understand now  

but either way, it would still be alright. You gotta do what makes you happy  I just added the frowning face in my first response because I was just kinda sad because from my perspective it seems like every guy who likes barebacking doesn't prefer to be monogamous at all  and that was always what i wanted to find. But I believe in order to have that, you would have to have a 'relationship' with a guy so he likes enough, but from what i've learned about myself, it doesn't seem like that very probable. I have Autism so my interests are VERY obscure compared to normal minded people, which is major reason. Also i'm more of a 'recluse' too, meaning i don't go out often at all.

In all honesty, at first, before your reply to my reply, I thought it was kinda funny, because with the way you described yourself, you and me seemed almost like polar opposites.

Don't get me wrong! i would LOVE to find a nice bottom man to have a lot of bareback sex with, but the thing is, i always wanted monogamy. 

And by polar opposites, i meant as in:

You described yourself as being very intelligent and educated and loving academics, I am DEFINITELY the opposite in that, mostly because of my mental disabilities (Autism, ADHD & plenty others as I explained in my youtube videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW67q6pOuyvTz89jYEIAiYJMJbqLUNafB ) 

And also, you also said that you were an honors student, highly respected among my peers and professors. DEFINITELY THE OPPOSITE OF ME AS WELL! lol although people always tell me many times that i appear to be 'intelligent'. It's actually false for me.. But i'm ok with it though  

But Also, you said you love getting your butt fucked and that it always excited you when someone new cums inside you, and it also appears that you are sexually aroused by acknowledging the risk you are taking with that. But with me, I'm kinda the opposite. I really enjoy sex too. I've only barebacked 1 man this summer, and when i found out that me and him were not going to work out, i felt 'bad' about doing it and wish that i hadn't. But i didnt catch anything. I am on PrEp and been tested. And i always wanted one person to do it with.

Also, you said you were always busy, but me, that's the opposite. I'm mostly just at home on my computer all the time, but i do go on walks every now and then and bike rides to the beach. But overall, i spend A LOT of time by myself. Not that complaining about it though.

Last, you said that you were very smart and with a bright future ahead of you ... well... let's just say that definitely doesn't apply for me at all based on the way things are looking in my life right now... :S   lol

 

Sorry i kinda hijacked your thread and kinda made it about myself for a bit  but that's just everything I thought of when I read it  ♥ 

I sincerely hope I did not insult you at all ♥ that definitely was not my intention. 

& another thing, this goes to EVERYONE, who've read this reply... I'm not 'upset' about how i am. And I don't want to change ANYTHING about myself either...

The only thing I want to change is that i would have one man who would want to be with me all the time and would want to have a lot of sex with me, and no one else.. However, many people may tell me "well in order to get that, you need to change things about yourself! you need to go out more! and get a job (i actually can't hold a job because of my disabilities) and work on yourself and build yourself up and then someone will want you!"

^i've been told that MANY times already, but I insist on not following that advice, but if I don't get it, i don't get it, and I just accept that  I've been accepting it every day  but it's cool. 

 

Sorry to seem like sad whiny man, but just throwing that all out there  

I definitely DO NOT think anyone is going to have ANYTHING good to say in response to what I just typed, so i would prefer for them to keep whatever they think to themselves please, Unless you can link to me to a site where men are looking for a recluse Top man who has a ton of time on his hands and wants him to fuck them everyday  

 

Edited September 5, 2017 by TheLusciousLad

[cumbro]

Dude, your response is totally honest and as such, very appealing and even charming. As for a bf, it will happen! Probably when you least expect it. I hope you’ll keep reading and writing. I’ll be surprised if anyone here took offense, as you predicted. Hope not, anyway.

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 8/25/2017 at 7:21 PM, FunCollegeTwink said:

I'm a senior in college at the moment.  I'm an honors student, highly respected among my peers and professors, and will be applying to top PhD programs this autumn.  I'm also a total slut.  As much as I love academics, I love getting fucked bareback just as much - maybe even more.  I love getting bred.  I love getting bred a lot, and by a lot of different guys.  Every time I feel a new guy sliding into my hole, or when I slide into someone new, I feel totally amazing. 

This, in essence, is the source of my internal tension.  I have always been told that I am very smart, and that I have a bright future ahead of me (not to sound arrogant, hopefully), and I legitimately believe that I could do quite well in my field (philosophy).  However, the degree to which I am slutty (which is quite high) leads me to engage in risky sexual practices on a regular basis.  And, quite in fact, the risk in and of itself does not bother me; quite the contrary, I rather enjoy it.  It is adventurous, energizing, and invigorating.  On the one hand, my life is spent in the abstract, dealing with the nature of thought, and issues of philosophy which are (seemingly) divorced from the carryings on of the every day.  On the other, I engage in behavior that is reckless at times, living in the moment and experiencing everything through sex.  Sex which is risky, dangerous to my health - and by extension, possibly, my future - and yet I cannot go without it.  I am not on prep, and I often do not even ask about status - for the most part I do not care. 

Despite how thoroughly I enjoy both of these aspects of my life, there seems to be a tension between them.  My academic life is where I feel most free, and it is what I wish to spend my life doing.  My sexual life, however, remains indispensable.  The sex may very well adversely affect my academic life, and yet I could not do my academics without my sexual life. 

I suppose I just wanted to post this, and see what you all think.  Most of my peers would probably be appalled by my sexual choices, and tell me that I'm throwing away my life for the sake of "mere" bodily pleasure.  While I am not insensitive to this (and quite frankly, I would agree with them to some extent), it is not enough for me to stop, despite the tension that I feel.  I feel like an academic, and I also feel like I am a total slut and whore.  Have any of you ever experience anything like this?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

I totally relate to this.

[alwaysready]

very well written, not surprisingly. are you sure you want to start grad school right after you finish your undergrad? or maybe take a leave and spend your time traveling around and slutting?  just a thought.