Dominance - Questions for Bottoms and Tops

[BreedingTop71]

I am a total top. Have not met a hole i didn't enjoy and i fuck like i hated the bottom. They always beg for seconds. And thirds.... lol

[lextitebttm]

My thoughts on your post. First is the guy you were talking to could be my twin in that it sounds like we both go for the same kind of man. I am most attracted to exactly what he described -bigger, hairier, take control and tell me what to do type of guys. I know with me it goes way back to being the skinny, quiet, nerdy boy growing up and wishing I weren’t. That being said, I still enjoy sex with all kinds of guys but that particular combination is more likely to push my buttons right from the word go and I have used the exact quote he did to describe many a “great top”.  Most guys have a type (for lack of a better word) of guy they place above all others which can also be different than the type of fucking they prefer as well. Don’t confuse the two. There could be a twink with the exact same dick doing the exact same thing to me in the exact way as the bigger guy but I’m still going to be more excited by the latter. That’s where my mind comes into it. But that’s all mostly irrelevant anyway because to add to the mix I’m above all a mostly submissive guy that’s all about pleasing the top. So what gets me most excited is what gets you (the top) excited. So if you really get off on connecting/making love/we’re both equals kind of fucking than I am going to get off on it too.

The only problem I find with that is the occasional guy that I call the “pleasing top”. The top that for some ungodly reason can’t seem to grasp the concept that for the vast majority of strictly bottoms, we get pleasure from what you are doing to our ass which is why we like to bottom. I sometimes have an orgasm without touching myself just from being fucked which is all well and good but I very rarely like to cum while getting fucked. If the top is concerned with trying to “get me off” then he is probably not someone I’m going to want to get together with very often because that’s just not what I’m into. There are actually a couple of guys that I don’t get together with very often just for that reason. Everything else is fine but they are too focused on pleasing me for me to be able to be able to get pleasure in pleasing them.  (There’s  a doctoral dissertation waiting to be written on figuring out the logic on that one!) 

The second thought I had is that you said you were secretly hoping to get with the original guy and that you got an impression from the other guys and are assuming that’s why they haven’t gotten back with you. Having said all I did about pleasing, I can tell you that I, for one, prefer a top to let me know that he wants to fuck me. Too much conversation without that being stated usually leads me to think that he’s not interested in me for that. That’s another difference between the bathhouse etiquette of fucking vs the online routine. At a bathhouse it’s pretty easy to pick up on what someone’s interested or not interested in but online is completely different. If you’re waiting on them to pursue you then you might be missing out because of that. 

[Guest FinalDL2021]

when I am with a man, rather than with a women, I like taking the passive role, or being the bitch. I don't like mean tops, but I like a man that lets me know, he is in charge.

[Ozpig]

I just love to be used, dominated, fucked hard and just used as a total piece of fuckmeat for tops to use however tjhey want. 

[Cumfilledbottomboi]

I said something on the first page but I want to add that I do like to be used and controlled. In bed. Outside of bed, I’m usually always in control. But when in a relationship, I do let my top man lock my cock up just for him.

[BreedingTop71]

If you are with a self-defined submissive bottom (or better, someone who embraces the term faggot), just use him. That’s what he wants, his emotional/sexual needs revolve around pleasing a top. If you try to please him, you will bore him or antagonize him. Do not do it. This is the type of guy I always go for and the kind that makes my dick hard

If you find someone who self defines as just a bottom or versatile it’s a whole different ball of wax. I am not attracted to this type AT ALL. I am revolted by a dick that isn’t mine, so it could never work for me. This is probably what you want

also sounds like you are interested in an emotional connection. Most of these guys are not, which may be causing the dissonance 

Edited August 27, 2018 by BreedingTop71

[BreedingTop71]

13 hours ago, Cumfilledbottomboi said:

I said something on the first page but I want to add that I do like to be used and controlled. In bed. Outside of bed, I’m usually always in control. But when in a relationship, I do let my top man lock my cock up just for him.

I like to extend control to all aspects of life. 

[Cumfilledbottomboi]

11 hours ago, BreedingTop71 said:

I like to extend control to all aspects of life. 

Do say more. I like to control aspects of my life. Not really sure I could submit everything, including personal freedom. 

[BreedingTop71]

1 hour ago, Cumfilledbottomboi said:

Do say more. I like to control aspects of my life. Not really sure I could submit everything, including personal freedom. 

Not sure what else I could say. If I am in a relationship with a submissive, I would expect him to ask for permission before going out with friends. Family and work related stuff do not need permission, only notification, like minor expenditures. Large purchases would require permission from me as well. 

Been in situations where the submissive requests permission to go to the toilet. Every. Time. I like it. I don’t need it. But I like it

Some freedoms are allowed, provided they revolve around me and making me happy and pleasing me. 

[btm2bbred]

On ‎8‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 11:37 AM, PozTemptation said:

when I am with a man, rather than with a women, I like taking the passive role, or being the bitch. I don't like mean tops, but I like a man that lets me know, he is in charge.

I like take charge Top guys.    Real dominant men don't have to be mean or abusive.    They get their prize (my willing hole) by being confident and assertive in taking what belongs to them.

[BreedingTop71]

22 hours ago, btm2bbred said:

I like take charge Top guys.    Real dominant men don't have to be mean or abusive.    They get their prize (my willing hole) by being confident and assertive in taking what belongs to them.

I agree. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone so I don’t have to be an ass. I am just ME. I like to be pleasures and my bottom knows that it is all about ME. 

[bjbottom]

I am a married cum-dump bottom.   I have a husband to make love to me.   I like to be dominated, used, and fucked hard when I hook up.    I enjoy a top calling me degrading names, telling me something like, "faggot open your mouth" having him spit into it, and telling me "swallow it bitch."    However, I may also be a bit different as I am an active participant when bottoming.    I throw my ass back to meet his thrusting for maximum penetration.   I will beg him to to fuck me harder, I will suggest different positions if needed, I will state that smacking or reddening my ass may teach me my place, if my nipples are being ignored I will start twisting and pulling on them as my nipples and hole seem to be connected and it enhances his pleasure.    If time does not permit a longer session, I am generally fine with being told to bend over the couch, table, or bed fucked hard and deep and being told to get the fuck out until my worthless hole is needed again.

[bbcunthole]

On 3/1/2018 at 1:11 PM, BreedingTop71 said:

I am a total top. Have not met a hole i didn't enjoy and i fuck like i hated the bottom. They always beg for seconds. And thirds.... lol

hate fucking is the best for sadistic top men . i deserve nothing but abuse n u deserve everything and so much excitement as you inflict pain hatered 

[Ozpig]

On ‎2‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 10:09 AM, Upstateguy518 said:

Most guys want that deep, hard fucking, Especially if they are actively looking for guys to use their hole. If you're a top, Fuck like a man. The bottom isn't gonna break if you wanna get a bit rough with things. If anything he's gonna thank you and beg for more lol.

Exactly. As a total bottom cumdump I love men being dominant and treating me rough. I have a married regular who gets off on dominating men, fucking them hard, slapping me around and he is the roughest fuck. I get so horned up every time he texts to see if I am free. I just love it.

[tallslenderguy]

20 hours ago, Ozpig said:

Exactly. As a total bottom cumdump I love men being dominant and treating me rough. I have a married regular who gets off on dominating men, fucking them hard, slapping me around and he is the roughest fuck. I get so horned up every time he texts to see if I am free. I just love it.

Re-reading through the replies to this thread and wanted to add more to the idea of "mind fuck."

i can be pretty damned sub, but the extent of my submissive disposition is often a reflection of the Top i am with.  i often avoid using the word "sub" as a self descriptor because so many guys seem to equate "Dom" with attributes like "mean, hate, rough, etc.."

 i'm pretty analytical and cerebral, attributes some identifying as Dom dislike. i've seen  Doms, for instance, who are specifically looking for an "empty headed play thing."  To me,  being penetrated vs the one penetrating, is automatically "sub" at a basic level. So, for me a Dom is one who knows how to penetrated and breed me at a mental and emotional level too. "Rough" or "forceful"  (not to be confused with passionate), doesn't translate as "Dom" to me at an emotional or mental level, it actually has the reverse effect.  For me (and i know this is personal, so it's not a universal judgment), a guy that relies on force or bullying is compensating for something he feels he lacks. What he doesn't realize or connect with is i don't think or feel  he lacks anything if He is a Top. I.e., if he thinks/feels he has to force his way in, he is missing that he already 'owns' me. 

i don't think the OP is being to polite, or that He needs to be rough to Top or Dom.  If the guys He is referring to truly have the sub ingredient that so many bottoms have, He doesn't have to wait for them to want Him, He needs to assume they want Him and proceed accordingly.  I.e., instead of waiting for them to contact you and ask to be bred, know that they always want to be bred and contact them and tell them you want/need to breed. It's not a question, it's a statement.  If they demur, they are either not that sub ( i think there are degrees of sub and Dom)  or they may have another issue that they are afraid to voice to you or afraid you wouldn't like, like an std or they are not cleaned out.  They are rare, but a few Dom guys i have been with let me know that they don't care what my 'condition' is, that if they want to breed, they want it no matter what.  i sort of equate that to straights who will breed a woman even if she has her period, but that's another topic.  If He want's it clean, then if He really wants to push a sub button, He should simply say: "clean out, I want to breed you" vs dancing around the topic, or worse, assuming that bottoms are just always automatically prepped (we have to eat to stay alive lol). If we are out cruising, we're likely prepared. If a Top is spontaneously contacting us, they should not pretend or assume the issue doesn't exist. 

To me, rape is the ultimate "rough."  There's a lot of bottoms who have rape fantasies. i'm bottom and have a decided sub side, and i have no desire to be raped.  to me rape is not a show of strength, but a lack of confidence. A Top doesn't have to take something He already has.  A Top or Dom that understands that i am bottom sub, never has to resort to taking it because He already knows i want/need Him.  If He want's me 'ready,' He just needs to say: "get ready, I want/need to breed you." (btw, i don't think there is anything 'weak' or not Top/Dom about Him expressing His desire or need to breed). It's not a question, it's a statement of fact.