If it was up to you to set a new age of consent, what would the age be and why?

[SomewhereonNeptune]

Uh oh...here comes Neptune saying something controversial or prone to be downvoted. (Ahem)

Now this is a really good question. Years ago, I probably would have said 16. That was around the time of my first experience and the consenting age in my state. But by the same token, that also had the capacity to mess with my brain, my emotions, and my feelings, and at 16 the idea of sex versus love are still formative. 

11 hours ago, verbalBTTM said:

Once a young person, as in our case, reaches the age of maturity (18), they are better equipped to understand the consequences of their decisions. While we all develop at different rates, by 18, most have experienced enough of life to form a general understanding and are expected to take responsibility for their choices. Before this age, individuals are rightly viewed as children, as they lack the life experience to fully grasp the repercussions of their actions.

This. Plus, growing up I'd routinely watch a priest sit in his van at a park that was known for being a pedo cruising spot. And he had predilections for 13 and 14 year olds. Know any 13 year olds able to process the full impact and notions of sex? Didn't think so, though quite a few of us had those experiences and most of us survived intact.

Entering my seventh decade, rarely would I suggest 16 or younger. Unless this was something that truly came out of the thoughts and actions of the younger party doing so of free will. But even that is sketchy to me because (and this will be controversial but it needs to be said) we have kids who are not yet maturationally developed at 13 or even younger being supported through gender transition and sexual reassignment. Breasts or penis, something's being altered at an age where they are possibly not able to process the future ramifications of their decision. 

Yeah, maybe some folks have had gender dysphoria, and I have cousins and nephews who are going through it, but pulling hormone blockers or chemical castration or mastectomies at ages below 16 is...is...well, crazy. I've spoken to detransitioners who went through procedures before 18 who not only now regret it but are trying to return to their genetic state, which adds more complexities. And I'm not prudish about these things, but my heart breaks for them.

Leave it the way it is, or move it to 18 where it isn't. Let kids enjoy being kids before they do something that will put them in therapy for several years. 

Edited yesterday at 12:52 AM by SomewhereonNeptune

[Iker80]

16 here and I think that's fine. The bigger problem is age gap, because it would be legal for an adult my age with a 16 year old and there's a lot of issues with that. Some countries manage this by having age of consents, potentially higher than 16 but add rules for people being close in age, so for example the age of consent is 18 but they're not going to get involved with a 17 and 19 year old, but they would not be ok with a 17 and 37 year old.

I recently had an experience with the youngest guy I've been with, he was 20. I am just old enough to be his dad. I asked extra questions and felt more comfortable that he actually wanted to be top. He wasn't my usual type to top me, but he was super keen to get his hands on a hairy guy old enough to be his dad and I was having a hard time to say no to that kind of energy, so we met up and was a good meet.

[verbalBTTM]

11 hours ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

Uh oh...here comes Neptune saying something controversial or prone to be downvoted. (Ahem)

Now this is a really good question. Years ago, I probably would have said 16. That was around the time of my first experience and the consenting age in my state. But by the same token, that also had the capacity to mess with my brain, my emotions, and my feelings, and at 16 the idea of sex versus love are still formative. 

This. Plus, growing up I'd routinely watch a priest sit in his van at a park that was known for being a pedo cruising spot. And he had predilections for 13 and 14 year olds. Know any 13 year olds able to process the full impact and notions of sex? Didn't think so, though quite a few of us had those experiences and most of us survived intact.

Entering my seventh decade, rarely would I suggest 16 or younger. Unless this was something that truly came out of the thoughts and actions of the younger party doing so of free will. But even that is sketchy to me because (and this will be controversial but it needs to be said) we have kids who are not yet maturationally developed at 13 or even younger being supported through gender transition and sexual reassignment. Breasts or penis, something's being altered at an age where they are possibly not able to process the future ramifications of their decision. 

Yeah, maybe some folks have had gender dysphoria, and I have cousins and nephews who are going through it, but pulling hormone blockers or chemical castration or mastectomies at ages below 16 is...is...well, crazy. I've spoken to detransitioners who went through procedures before 18 who not only now regret it but are trying to return to their genetic state, which adds more complexities. And I'm not prudish about these things, but my heart breaks for them.

Leave it the way it is, or move it to 18 where it isn't. Let kids enjoy being kids before they do something that will put them in therapy for several years. 

You've really captured how age provides us with wisdom from life experiences. At one point, we didn't appreciate the reasoning behind the limitations in age of consent laws.

 

 

I suspect I'm not alone in saying that as we mature, we no longer view a younger person as our equal peer, but more as a recent recruit in the adventures of life. As a senior officer, it suddenly becomes our charge to guide and protect them, rather than capitalizing on the vulnerabilities of the situation.

[HunterCox]

13yo is good for me, I was so horny and had my cock sucked off alot by men in thier 40's

[ellentonboy]

I'l stick with 18, even that age makes me question my decision.  I am not really comfortable having sex with someone who could be my son, but I have had sex with plenty of guys in their 20s who were hot and experienced.

I still think guys 30 to 55 are optimal.  They are experienced, and they usually know what they want and how to go about doing it.  Of course, there are exceptions, but I would take an experienced 40 year old guy any day over a 20 year old who doesn't know what the hell he is doing.  That's just my view .....

[SomewhereonNeptune]

14 hours ago, verbalBTTM said:

You've really captured how age provides us with wisdom from life experiences. At one point, we didn't appreciate the reasoning behind the limitations in age of consent laws. 

I suppose that as hot as it may seem that someone young and hot is into us, I don't want to be a predator in the situation. Like am I the "dirty old [banned word]" that's into little boys (answer in that case is an obvious "yes"), but I'd always wonder what he'd see in me, or if the roles were reversed, would I see a dude my age now being an instant "ick". Not a dad/son experience but a grand-dad/grandson experience.

And your point about being a mentor is more how I'd approach it. Someone older as a protector and to provide guidance in the right setting, but the other party would need to request that so I didn't feel like it was predation.

10 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

I'll stick with 18, even that age makes me question my decision.  I am not really comfortable having sex with someone who could be my son, but I have had sex with plenty of guys in their 20s who were hot and experienced.

I still think guys 30 to 55 are optimal.  They are experienced, and they usually know what they want and how to go about doing it.  Of course, there are exceptions, but I would take an experienced 40 year old guy any day over a 20 year old who doesn't know what the hell he is doing.  That's just my view .....

The "young enough to be my son" thing isn't that big of an issue at my age. That would make the guy somewhere between say 25 and 40. But the topic made me do soul-searching a bit to where I'd need to ask the following:

• For those who actually had an "early experience", how did you feel about it? Did it form how you are today? Did you or the older person take the initiative?

I'm hoping this doesn't run afoul of the guidelines. Not asking the details of the encounters or anything titillating, but how do you look back on it now? Might be interesting to hear those who responded with say sub-16 responses for proposed consenting age.

 

[NLbear]

I was getting fucked silly when I was 17 and I knew exactly what I was doing. Then I had a preference for guys in their 20s and 30s. OK, I looked 18+ and I didn't tell my age. They probably thought I was 18+. 

[davidgifter]

Everyone should decide when they are ready for sex and not when its legal age who decide for them.

[verbalBTTM]

9 hours ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

I suppose that as hot as it may seem that someone young and hot is into us, I don't want to be a predator in the situation. Like am I the "dirty old [banned word]" that's into little boys (answer in that case is an obvious "yes"), but I'd always wonder what he'd see in me, or if the roles were reversed, would I see a dude my age now being an instant "ick". Not a dad/son experience but a grand-dad/grandson experience.

And your point about being a mentor is more how I'd approach it. Someone older as a protector and to provide guidance in the right setting, but the other party would need to request that so I didn't feel like it was predation.

The "young enough to be my son" thing isn't that big of an issue at my age. That would make the guy somewhere between say 25 and 40. But the topic made me do soul-searching a bit to where I'd need to ask the following:

• For those who actually had an "early experience", how did you feel about it? Did it form how you are today? Did you or the older person take the initiative?

I'm hoping this doesn't run afoul of the guidelines. Not asking the details of the encounters or anything titillating, but how do you look back on it now? Might be interesting to hear those who responded with say sub-16 responses for proposed consenting age.

 

Most boys, especially twinks who hook up with much older men, do it for a few reasons, and it's usually not for the leathery signs of aging on a man.

 

1. Free drugs and dick

2. They're sugar babies

3. Have a daddy fetish

4. Prefer staying at a beach house for the weekend

 

However, speaking for myself, when I first came out at the age of 22, I sought out the oldest men I could find to help me answer a burning question I had been wrestling with. I'd offer to buy them a drink and ask plainly, "How did you survive the AIDS epidemic?"

 

They all responded with, "I was in a committed relationship," or "I was a strict top." They knew I wasn't hitting on them but rather seeking their guidance. They were all too happy to offer their insights to me, as most people my age ignored them in a mean-girl way.

 

Once I had my question answered, I began hooking up here and there. Being a twink, I naturally sought out other twinks, but would dabble with some older men in their 30s and 40s. They were a little easier to deal with than my peers.

 

After a time, when I was watching my friends dying off one by one, I decided to seek out something different and found recon.com, where I looked for an older Dom for protection from HIV and the wisdom a Dom man can offer (not that I really understood all of that at the time). He was in his mid-60s and taught me a lot. Not just in sex, but mentored me through his generous patience and understanding.

 

He wasn't the stereotypical dirty old man that many twinks think of; instead, he was kind, patient, and understanding, like a perfect father is with his son. Only he had a sling, an Alpha sub boy, and a chest full of goodies to experiment with.

 

He knew I wasn't a true sub, but gave me the space to experiment with that in a way that I could allow myself to be, given my limited mental capacities at the time. He saw me struggling and wouldn't allow me to retreat; instead, we would talk about my fears and help me process them. Just shy of a silver bullet, I was able to get back on the horse for a while.

 

Now back in combat operational capacity, he saw my Dom side with the various boys we shared who craved the raw energy the BDSM lifestyle has to offer. We were a great Dom duo, which his Alpha sub was only too happy to lap up.

 

The sex alone would have been worth it, but what I actually received by taking that leap was far more than I could have even fathomed. I learned about myself and how to recognize needs in someone's eyes. I became a quicker and more accurate read of people, to almost mystical psychic powers of understanding.

 

In conclusion, there’s a phrase that I’m fond of: "May fortune favor the bold." For those who are willing to toss the dice, they’ve already looked past any physical imperfections an older man may have. Instead, their eyes are targeted on a grander prize that only older men can offer: love, appreciation, knowledge, wisdom, maturity, the safety and security wrapped around them like a warm blanket on a cold night. These things are never found in that perfect twink at the club, and they know it. Instead, they seek someone like you, sir.

 

I hope that answers your question.