If it was up to you to set a new age of consent, what would the age be and why?

[BootmanLA]

7 hours ago, sydbtm said:

That’s not really the sort of thing I was talking about because I don’t imagine any 10 year olds are on Grindr. But its already possible to prove coercion and non-consent between adults - there’s no reason the same couldn’t be done for a man and a boy.

All I’m saying is remove the automatic classification of rape just because one of the participants was a certain age. A 40 year old having sex with a 10 year old might be rape or grooming, but that isn’t a certainty. Some boys are curious and eager to explore sex at that age - there’s no reason they shouldn’t be allowed to if they want to, and as long as the man is slow and gentle there’s no reason it can’t be a good experience for both of them.

My point is that it's a lot easier to manipulate a younger person into "consenting" when he or she has no concrete understanding of what "consent" means.

Translating this to adults: most prosecutors won't touch a case of rape or sexual assault if there's any serious evidence that there may have been consent - in the form of emails, texts, whatever. Perhaps they should, but the truth is that a jury weighing credibility is going to consider whether the accuser "consented" to sex if there's documented evidence, like a text or an email or a video, that suggests they did.

Translating that back to kids: it's a hell of a lot easier to get someone, say, 13 or 14 to "consent" to something, especially if they were groomed to do so. That's why we have an age, below which we decide that no matter what the young person may have said, or written, to indicate consent, they're simply not mature enough to meaningfully consent.

WHAT that age is can be debated. But the idea that no age is needed because you can focus on "consent" is just stupid.

[LittleCumSewer]

I was ready for sex with men in grade 8 so anywhere from 10 to 11 seems perfect

[PowerTopper]

5 minutes ago, LittleCumSewer said:

I was ready for sex with men in grade 8 so anywhere from 10 to 11 seems 

Lol

[Guest 123]

I think it is fine where it is, I believe 16-17-18 depending on the country. I know what a horndog I was at 11-12 and experimenting with similar aged friends is fine and part of growing up. Children having sex with adults can be damaging and, having done it myself with many adult men when I was a boy, I do not believe should be sanctioned under the law. 

Edited November 7, 2020 by 123

[Tramprikkileigh]

I believe most of us started experimenting with sex with our friends at a early age. With me it was around 10.  Alot of backyard tent camping with the neighbor boys. Then with my 13 yr old male cousin when I was 11. 1st cock I ever sucked. We enjoyed playing with other, he taught me learned alot. If we hnew about lube back then,  he probably would have fucked me. At 16 a female cousin and her came to visit and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing. We enjoyed each others bodies the whole time she was there. I believe we each understand and know when we are ready for sex. It doesn't matter what the age deference as long as it not forced. I know at around 12,  I would have had sex with an adult. Each of us are wired defirrently. Because we are we shouldn't be kept from enjoying sex whom ever we chose no matter what the age. 

[BootmanLA]

14 hours ago, Tramprikkileigh said:

I believe we each understand and know when we are ready for sex. It doesn't matter what the age deference as long as it not forced. I know at around 12,  I would have had sex with an adult. Each of us are wired defirrently. Because we are we shouldn't be kept from enjoying sex whom ever we chose no matter what the age. 

The problem - as I keep pointing out, and people keep ignoring in their zest to promote kids having sex, is that it's easy to talk a curious kid into "consenting" to try and do all sorts of things. 

As for the "shouldn't be kept from enjoying...." line: that's just an apology for pedophilia. 

We've come to understand, as a society, that people under the age of 18 are not mature enough to understand consequences for capital crimes and thus cannot face capital punishment. Yet you're arguing that kids far younger are mature enough to make informed decisions about sex. That's horseshit.

[gwmxyz]

I agree with Bootman.  I spent some time today dictating my old diary from 1985 (when I was 15).  I was amazed at how childlike a lot of it is. I wouldn't have seen myself that way at the time.  I mean, I had a chequebook - and had been served in pubs. The other thing we forget is how anyone of that sort of age wants to seem older than they really are. It doesn't mean they are. I agree.  I'd say 18.  

That said, the only time I did have worries and asked a guy how old he was (in Hong Kong) he turned out to be 26. Old enough for it to be crass. Not old enough for him to be quite pleased.

[BootmanLA]

6 hours ago, gwmxyz said:

I agree with Bootman.  I spent some time today dictating my old diary from 1985 (when I was 15).  I was amazed at how childlike a lot of it is. I wouldn't have seen myself that way at the time.  I mean, I had a chequebook - and had been served in pubs. The other thing we forget is how anyone of that sort of age wants to seem older than they really are. It doesn't mean they are. I agree.  I'd say 18.  

That said, the only time I did have worries and asked a guy how old he was (in Hong Kong) he turned out to be 26. Old enough for it to be crass. Not old enough for him to be quite pleased.

For the record: I'm not saying 18 should necessarily be a solid age everywhere under all circumstances.

My own recommended approach is a multi-level concept. First, there's a floor, below which there's simply no consent available. Maybe that's 12, maybe that's 13, maybe that's 14. I'd defer to professionals (developmental psychologists, for instance).

Above that floor, until both parties reach the full age of majority, a sex partner can be no more than two years' age difference or there's no consent possible. That levels the playing field, so to speak, somewhat; it allows the sixteen-year old boy to have a fifteen-year old girlfriend, but not one who's less than fourteen. It allows a twelve-year old boy and his thirteen-year old cousin to experiment sexually without fear of a prison record but keeps a 17-year old Scout leader from being able to molest a 13-year old scout.

Below that, consent is impossible. And as always, there would be special limits for those whose developmental status precludes consent - for instance, a 16-year old girl who has the mental age of six (for whatever reason) doesn't count as 16 for those purposes. At some point, that developmentally hindered person will become an adult, and that's another bridge we'll have to cross - balancing the rights of those persons with disabilities with the state's responsibility to care for them. But those are rare enough cases that can be saved for another day.

[Guest sydbtm]

I just don’t agree with your insistence that someone can’t consent until they’re a certain age. When I was growing up I learnt about sex from an educational book my parents had - I was interested and curious right away, and soon after I started having sex with my friends, and soon after that I was looking for sex with older boys. I don’t want to say much more here because I don’t want to break any rules but I know 100% that I was eager to explore and enjoy sex, and I consented to all of it, and it would still be wrong/illegal under the changes you’re proposing.

There’s a good chance I was in a minority for people my age, I don’t know. And I agree we should have protections in place for *anybody* who is taken advantage of, or molested, or who doesn’t consent to any sexual activity. But for those who *do* consent, and are curious and eager and (for lack of a better word) horny - the law doesn’t have provisions for them and I think it should. That’s all I’m saying.

Edited November 9, 2020 by sydbtm

[Pozguyinchi]

I feel like I have told my story many times on here but I started young with my step dad. I was 10 but didn’t have full on intercourse until I was 13. It was my choice and I feel in retrospect I was the driver in our relationship. I feel that it’s everyone’s personal choice when they are ready. At 10 I knew I wanted to be with men but really didn’t know what sex was. At 13 I knew and was ready. It’s a personal choice.

[Guest PlanetJunk]

At 8 or 9 I knew I wanted to be with men. I started to experiment with boys my age.

When I was young 10 or so and had a sleepover with my cousin who is older around 16 he taught me about masturbation.

I tried sucking a few cocks  around my age when I was like 11. 

Around 13 me and friend would be fooling around constantly I really did want him to fuck me at that time but we never did.

Looking back on everything now I wish I did start off a lot sooner and younger. 

I always wished and adult, my gym teacher would have taken my v card when I learned about sex after my cousin. 

[cman54]

1 minute ago, PlanetJunk said:

At 8 or 9 I knew I wanted to be with men. I started to experiment with boys my age.

When I was young 10 or so and had a sleepover with my cousin who is older around 16 he taught me about masturbation.

I tried sucking a few cocks  around my age when I was like 11. 

Around 13 me and friend would be fooling around constantly I really did want him to fuck me at that time but we never did.

Looking back on everything now I wish I did start off a lot sooner and younger. 

I always wished and adult, my gym teacher would have taken my v card when I learned about sex after my cousin. 

Boys should be allowed to experiment at any age. And by age 12-13 I think it should be talked about and taught in gym class in school. Maybe the gym teacher and an aid do some demonstrations for the young guys. Or even the students stay after class`s  for some extra time with the coach. All with the consent of the student.

[Guest PlanetJunk]

2 hours ago, cman54 said:

Boys should be allowed to experiment at any age. And by age 12-13 I think it should be talked about and taught in gym class in school. Maybe the gym teacher and an aid do some demonstrations for the young guys. Or even the students stay after class`s  for some extra time with the coach. All with the consent of the student.

I would have consented all the time for him. He was a fresh outta college 20-something teacher. I saw him in his jock and underwear more than once. He was also my youth counselor for camp once as well. He was so kind as I was that shy kid, picked on kid. 

[Guest sydbtm]

1 hour ago, PlanetJunk said:

I was that shy kid, picked on kid. 

So was I. I wonder if that’s how I developed my interest in sex - from a desire to be loved and comforted.

[LetsPOZBreed]

Hard for me to say.  I lost my virginity at 18, but in hindsight there were possibilities prior to that.  Thinking back on it, my first real shot would have been at 14 with a slightly younger friend of mine.  That being said, I think we were both too young.  I live in the UK now (originally from the US) where the legal age is 16.  I'd say that's prob okay; I don't think it should be anything younger than that.