What the act of bottoming represents

[Onmyback4me]

On 10/11/2018 at 11:53 AM, KptNLine said:

This is an awesome question, thanks for starting this discussion anonverse!

First, let me say that I have bottomed both when I've been with Men casually and with my husband. Being fucked feels physically good, it's true, yet the sensations of pleasure (at least for me) are so much more intense when I'm with my husband then when I've been with someone else. For me at least, there is a component of that emotional connection that enhances the pleasure of being fucked.

Fucking a guy or allowing a guy to fuck you is the most intimate experience you can have with another male (in my opinion). For a Top, the intimacy is self explanatory - putting your cock in someone else is pretty damn intimate. For a bottom, the intimacy goes beyond the sex act itself, and there are layers of intimacy within the act of bottoming.

Let me explain: In that moment, you are allowing a Man inside of you and giving the most personal part of yourself to another Man. Now think back to a time when you used condoms (many of us have at one point or another), and then think of the first time a Man penetrated you raw. Now think of the first time (for many of us, the same time as when we first went raw) when a Man inseminated you. All of these different actions enhance the intimacy of the act - there is literally no way to get closer to a Man then to receive his cum inside you. 

One thing I do want to address is the idea of being a "submissive bitch" that "only cares about pleasing the Top." I think there are probably very diverse viewpoints on this, and no one view is the right one. So I am just sharing what I think and what my experiences have been.

I do agree in feeling that the act of bottoming is an inherently submissive act. For me, being penetrated by a Man or even thinking about being penetrated enhances my desire to submit to a Man's desires. In that sense, I do want to please the Top by allowing him to penetrate me. 

But I have to be honest, almost every time I get fucked, I feel amazing. The feeling of a Man's cock sliding in and out of me, hitting my prostate with each thrust - words can't describe the pleasure I feel. I don't particularly identify with the idea that a bottom is solely there to provide pleasure for the Top because the truth is that bottoming feels good, whether or not we choose to acknowledge it.

What I mean by that is that there are times that my husband wants to make love and have slow, romantic sex. There are other times when he just needs to get off and I become his "cumdump" or his "faggot." My pleasure might be acknowledged or he might actively try to fuck me to an orgasm in the first scenario, in the second, my pleasure becomes inconsequential. And yet, regardless, being fucked feels good. Not just physically good, but also psychologically; submitting to another Man's need is a powerful high for me, whether that need is to make love to me or simply get off.

To me, that's what makes me feel submissive - it's that I'm giving anything up by being the bottom or that I'm simply trying to endure a painful fuck for the sake of a Man's pleasure. It's the fact that how I experience sex isn't up to me - a Man decides whether I'm going to be his lover or his faggot. That's what bottoming represents for me - a loss of power and control over the experience of the sex act itself.

This describes how I feel exactly!

[BlindRawFucker1]

Reading most of these responses makes me think that I'm a true freak on here.

 

No one "owns" me, and I have no desire to "own" anyone when I do top.

 

Being fucked feels great.  It is the top's responsibility to make me feel good.  It is my responsibility to make the top feelgood.

 

In no way do I feel it is a one way street, when fucking.  If he is hurting me, he "WILL" stop.  And, I don't want to hurt someone for my pleasure.  I consider him to be nothing less than a selfish prick if he doesn't care about my wel being.

 

I am a human, not a worthless animal for someone else's pleasure.

 

If no one agrees with me, so be it.

[ThroatFag]

I submit my hole to the top. He can pound away and not consider my comfort at all. I endure the pain to service his cock. Through the pain n the hotness of it, I am totally controlled by the man and his dick. He lets me experience his masculinity this way. That's what being a faggot is. 

[Guest]

oh my. i would love to be a totally submissive bottom for you. i love feeling a man cumm deep inside me. i love hearing him grown and grunt when im looking into his eyes when his sperm explodes into me. 

[ThroatFag]

There's nothing more immasculinating then being bend over and pounded by a big dick. Being fucked hurts. When I submit my ass to a Superior I also submit to him my pathetic shred manhood. I am a male, but I am no longer a man. In this moment I'm owned by the Real Man standing above me. 

 

[Guest BritBottom]

On 5/15/2019 at 4:43 PM, BlindRawFucker1 said:

Reading most of these responses makes me think that I'm a true freak on here.

 

No one "owns" me, and I have no desire to "own" anyone when I do top.

 

Being fucked feels great.  It is the top's responsibility to make me feel good.  It is my responsibility to make the top feelgood.

 

In no way do I feel it is a one way street, when fucking.  If he is hurting me, he "WILL" stop.  And, I don't want to hurt someone for my pleasure.  I consider him to be nothing less than a selfish prick if he doesn't care about my wel being.

 

I am a human, not a worthless animal for someone else's pleasure.

 

If no one agrees with me, so be it.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said 

To summarize my view as expressed in other posts:

I am a man who is attracted to and loves other men. As a bottom I submit to men because servicing their needs gives me pleasure and satisfaction. I don’t regard myself a less of a ‘real’ man because I like a cock up my ass or because another man spunks his seed in me – he gets off, so do I.

When I’m being fucked my whole focus is on being a man proudly submitting to another man - giving pleasure, satisfaction, enhancing his masculinity and in so doing my own and it should feedback so it’s better for both of us.

I’m not anyone’s property and I know my worth. I choose to submit to men who want sex with a man not a toy or an object to be used or humiliated or a substitute female, if a top can’t handle that, to me, he isn’t truly a man I’d want to be with.

You are no freak, you just have a healthy respect for yourself and expect the same from other.

[westendboy]

On 10/1/2018 at 4:38 PM, Anonversecuck said:

While many bottoms love the feel of a cock deep inside of them, some bottoms do not necessarily enjoy it, but still endure the uncomfortable feeling of being fucked because they want to serve top men. 

When I watch man on man or think about bottoming, I can't help but think what being fucked represents is far hotter than the act of being fucked itself. 

 

Let me explain. There's nothing more personal you can give to another man than to allow him to penetrate you bare and take his seed. This is as good as it gets. It's submissive by nature. For that moment in time, I'm truly a bitch that only cares about pleasing the top. Instead of my normal hetero macho self, I'm actually being a submissive bitch to another man and the thought of it drives me insane. 

 

Anyone else feel the same? 

My first few cocks were pretty big for a beginner (7-8", thick) mostly by accident so I didn't even realize it didn't have to hurt that much. I bled afterward but I was determined to be a good bottom and I wanted it so bad I powered through and kept coming back for more. I don't even think it got to the point a few minutes in where my muscle was relaxed enough for it to feel good. That came maybe after the 8th or 10th time when after a minute of pain it would transform to a pleasurable feeling of fullness and being owned by another dude's thick dick. I don't remember exactly when, maybe after a year of being a slut (eventually as a size queen by choice rather than by chance once I'd gotten used to big boys) it didn't even hurt at the beginning because my muscle was so flexible (not loose necessarily since I tightened up right afterwards, but capable of a good stretch). Sometimes I miss that moment when you take a slightly bigger dick or rougher fuck and it hurts unexpectedly but then you both feel it when your hole relaxes completely and your hole stops fighting. But mostly I love being able to take pretty much anything with lube and poppers. Maybe it's a bit of genetic luck but I do think it can be achieved through practice.

 

However, for me deep throat is the truly submissive act that mentally is SO HOT but physically is always a bit uncomfortable even when you've gotten the hang of it. Anal sex resembles breeding/procreation but basically training yourself to let an oversize penis cut off your supply of oxygen for no evolutionary reason but dominance is just pure powertrip. which is why i always keep working on those deepthroat skills since a gag reflex has a habit of appearing just when you thought yours had gone extinct.

[hungry_hole]

I'm very aware that there is a huge difference in my "erotic mood" between how I feel before and after I cum. And I know this is not only me, but it is also true to the majority of guys. I remember cruising for sex late at night in a popular park, full of horny guys and only once they unloaded they would become aware of how late it was "Oh, shit, it's 3:30am and I have a 7am appointment!". The mood changes, for everyone.

I remember only two multiple cummers, a black guy with a nice uncut cock, who every time he bred my hole he would stay inside and in a couple of minutes he was hard again, and ended up giving me another load. The other guy was at a park, I swallowed his load and I expected him to just leave. But he stayed and fed me another load.

In the 70's I had a good friend who was gay and a bit older than me. In those days the "identity" of top or bottom didn't exist and instead there guys who liked getting fucked, and my friend was one of them. I was then young and naive but he told me all about saunas and sex clubs, and about how much he enjoyed getting fucked. I was curious because I couldn't imagine that sticking a cock in my ass would be better than an orgasm.

My friend told me that early in his sexual life he realized that he enjoyed being horny so much that at the saunas he would only get fucked and try never to cum. Before that I couldn't understand what was the fun of being a bottom, but then I realized that apart from the excitement of being horny for long periods of time, I could also feel an excitement that I would call an "emotional orgasm" every time a guy would come inside. When I go to the sauna every time I get bred, while the guy makes sexy noises as he unloads inside, it feels to me so powerful that I call it an "emotional orgasm". But unlike a physical orgasm, I now feel hornier and want more.

[hntnhole]

I think that most bottoms sense a bit of calling to "service" in themselves.  That service-oriented mindset can find expression in all kinds of ways (social, community, etc), and for we barebackers the outlet for that calling extends to one of their most fundamental instincts - to service Cock. 

That is essentially a completely valid expression of their make-up, their innate sense of need to serve the greater good.  Bottoms (and especially cumdumps) are basically service-providers, in the highest definition of "service".  Those deep sighs of pleasure we hear are expressions of fulfilling their purpose, and satisfaction in completing the cycle of bonding we're all drawn to.  

However fleeting, that moment of completion is of tremendous value for bottoms.   Not just the physical/sexual pleasure of taking loads, but the emotional fulfillment that comes right along with the Sperm pumped up their guts.  I don't think they'd do it if there weren't a sense of following their truth as well as the sexual thrill.  

[Piggyybttmm]

On 10/1/2018 at 4:38 PM, Anonversecuck said:

While many bottoms love the feel of a cock deep inside of them, some bottoms do not necessarily enjoy it, but still endure the uncomfortable feeling of being fucked because they want to serve top men. 

 

When I watch man on man or think about bottoming, I can't help but think what being fucked represents is far hotter than the act of being fucked itself. 

 

Let me explain. There's nothing more personal you can give to another man than to allow him to penetrate you bare and take his seed. This is as good as it gets. It's submissive by nature. For that moment in time, I'm truly a bitch that only cares about pleasing the top. Instead of my normal hetero macho self, I'm actually being a submissive bitch to another man and the thought of it drives me insane. 

 

Anyone else feel the same? 

I completely agree. While it also feels amazing, this is exactly why I bottom. I'm submissive in general and there's nothing more submissive than giving up yourself for another man's pleasure. Knowing I'm Receiving another man's DNA and allowing his essence inside me to grow and carry on, like another plant he's pollinated, turns me on and gets me off far more than the act of getting fucked it's self. It's why I continue to do it

[tallslenderguy]

This is a great discussion, i'm glad it got reawakened. 

A few thoughts before i have to go to work. 

i do not relate to the notion that a Top gets pleasure and a bottom gives pleasure.  i've read myriad profiles of guys who self describe as loving to "please," and invariably that's another way of saying they are bottom.  i derive pleasure in so many ways when a Man fucks me or i suck Him,, both physical and psychological.   my best sex as a bottom has been with Men Who are conscious of Their position, power and ability to please/give pleasure as well as receive it. To me, the best sex involves connection of mutual desire and need from opposite sides. It's symbiotic.  

i do understand the objection about "ownership."    i use the term often enough, but i think it can have different meaning to different guys.  Partly i think the challenge with the term is it's repurposed.  We all grow up in and live in culture that has been heteronormative, so we end up using that vocabulary and heteronormative terms to try and describe who and how we are. i think "ownership" is one of those terms.  It is for me. in a sense, it's mutual too, when two people give their self to each other.  The difference for me is as a bottom i am a receptacle of sorts and perceive myself as having a 'place' inside of me that is made for a Top to occupy, fill, "own."  It's complex.  gotta go to work. 

[fillforfun]

When I open myself to another man so he can fuck me, I usually enjoy feeling him stretching my hole, pushing himself deeply inside me, pounding me… but what I love most is the moment he cums inside me, feeling his dick twitching, and hopefully a little wetness from his load (or a lot of it!). To me, his cum represents life and he’s depositing that inside me. I know I’m not going to get pregnant with his child, but something in my mind feels like it still needs to try. And it doesn’t care about the logic of it all, that part of my mind wants as much seed as possible, from as many men as possible. I don’t have to know them, hell I don’t even have to see them, I just want that feeling of their seed flooding my body over and over.

Some guys call me a slut, others a whore. I don’t care what their label is, as long as they enjoy themselves enough that they want to cum again… and maybe share with their friends (or strangers who happen to be there). And if they want to film it so I can watch them breed me over and over, even better.

Side note: any tops here have hyperspermia? 😉

[westendboy]

On 7/10/2023 at 12:53 AM, westendboy said:

 

i only touched on one aspect of the question: the physical initiation into a more intense kind of bottoming than average. psychologically i have embraced the desire i’ve always had to be at the opposite end of the spectrum from a versatile flipfuck between men who see each other as equals. for me it took some time to own that role without shame or hesitation about expressing what i want even though it narrows the pool of men significantly. i respect that for the majority of guys a total bottom with a smooth body and small, decorative penis is not their first pick, but those who like it like it a lot, especially when it goes hand in hand with an almost limitless need to please. for me it’s almost a contract - if i want to be with a highly desirable male with superior breeding equipment and skills, my end of the bargain is outcompeting the mass of bottoms and women to keep him coming back by giving him the kind of fuck only a needy man could give another man. no strings, no compromises, no labels, no talking. when we rut i’m communicating that i recognize he is part of a sexual elite and that i’m powerless to deny him whatever he wants to do. when i bottom it reinforces that all the arbitrary rules about sex and social status are meaningless: money, politics, age and background are distractions from raw lust. i’m rejecting the hetero imperative to be spread my seed and carry on tradition as well as proper gay respectability - instead i’m letting men my fathers age dominate me for sport, maybe for hours, outdoors or on film. it’s about becoming a different kind of man no longer designed for procreative, penetrative sexuality and instantly recognizable as available and non threatening to the top’s identity as a man, regardless of whether he may live other parts of his life as a conventional father or husband.