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Is being poz as exciting once you get it?


Guest Humanurinal

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I'm more sexually liberated since becoming poz.  Tended to go more into my kink and fetish side, and I actually don't regret that part of it.

Healthwise?  It made me change things about my day-to-day life and get rid of unhealthy habits.  So, that's a positive.

It does have it's detractions, though

Keeping up with the daily meds.  I don't really have trouble doing this, but it's part of the deal.  Plus there's all the bloodwork you have to do every 3 to 6 months (depending on where you live) if you're undetectable - more frequent if you're detectable.

Also, I notice that even hooking up online can be a bit of a challenge to some degree.  Depends on the site, I guess, but being a bareback bottom means that I get offers to get "chemmed up", "slammed", or invited to sesisons with drug use...I gave all that up after converting, so no thanks.  Also, the guys on some sites that freely state their status as "don't care" or "don't know"...I'm not really interested in jeopardising my health just for them to get a quick nut.

And before I get the comment...YES, I get that STI's are a risk of barebacking; I fully accept this risk.  I ascribe to the practice of risk reduction, though.  There's a big difference between taking that risk versus walking into a situation where it's all but a certainty.  If a guy KNOWINGLY has a treatable STI, I'm not interested in taking his cock or load.  

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9 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

I don't mean to contradict, but let's look at this differently. 

You're medicated, ya? You don't live with HIV - it lives with YOU. You are the one who suppresses it and keeps it under control, and it doesn't control you. I think this would be a more positive mindset (pun intended). 

Hmmm.... Didn't think I had a negative outlook. My various conditions are well-controlled through medication and/or lifestyle changes, so I don't regularly even think about them. Yes, my conditions and I co-exist - they don't control me. But the thread asked about poz being exciting. For me, it's neither exciting nor boring. It just is. I wouldn't be surprised though if others fell definitively on one side or the other though.

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12 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

You're medicated, ya? You don't live with HIV - it lives with YOU. You are the one who suppresses it and keeps it under control, and it doesn't control you. I think this would be a more positive mindset (pun intended). 

Nope. Sorry. You can’t spin this into a positive. We may be able to keep the Enemy Virus under control, but don’t ever get confused into thinking we’ve got the upper hand. Even when it’s under control, HIV is still harming us every minute of every day. Once you get HIV, your body becomes a war zone. Inflammation is constant, affecting systems throughout the body, even when viral loads are undetectable, because the damn virus is still foxholed in its reservoirs, waiting to jump out as soon as there’s any opportunity.

Let’s be clear about what “under control” and “suppressed” means here. It doesn’t mean “cured”. It doesn’t mean “gone”. It doesn’t mean “no big deal”. It’s still a big fucking deal. “Under control” means the virus is no longer able to reproduce to the point that it’s overwhelming the immune system as long as the treatment is maintained. But if the treatment stops, the virus is once again free to go right back to killing its host, and that’s exactly what it’s going to do.

We’re the ones who have to maintain the constant vigilance, take the pills without fail, change our lifestyles to accommodate our bodies’ new reality in living with this invader. We are absolutely living with it. We may take control of our lives and try to live the most positive life we can under the circumstances, but it’s always going to be under the circumstances. And until there’s a cure those circumstances are something we have to cope with. The circumstances don’t cope with us.

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59 minutes ago, Robertbottomslut said:

I don’t want to deny myself any more. I am choosing to go down this path and when I find the right guide I will also go down the PNP path. I honestly want nothing else but to be a wasted cumdump taking in anything that comes my way. Carelessly. 

Bookmark this page so you can find it easily on the inevitable day when you sit asking yourself “What the fuck was I thinking?”

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5 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Bookmark this page so you can find it easily on the inevitable day when you sit asking yourself “What the fuck was I thinking?”

That presumes, on that day, that there's enough of his mind left to know he once ranted on here about how much he was looking forward to turning his life to shit. I suspect there won't be.

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  • 8 months later...
On 12/18/2018 at 2:37 AM, Guest Cle216fkr said:

The fantasy is very different from the reality. Medical bills alone are life changing. 

This really depends on where you live. In my part of the world, being poz means (among other benefits)  getting 100% free healthcare services and meds for the rest of your life plus a state welfare check which is equivalent to a basic, low salary, on top of your job salary, if you work as well.  So basically the "gift" becomes a monetary gift too. Also, now (2023) HIV does not even affect life expectancy. Recently a poz man managed to live 100 years before he died...  And I am saying all that, being negative myself. 

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4 minutes ago, ObedientChaser said:

This really depends on where you live. In my part of the world, being poz means (among other benefits)  getting 100% free healthcare services and meds for the rest of your life plus a state welfare check which is equivalent to a basic, low salary, on top of your job salary, if you work as well.  So basically the "gift" becomes a monetary gift too. Also, now (2023) HIV does not even affect life expectancy. Recently a poz man managed to live 100 years before he died...  And I am saying all that, being negative myself. 

Curious about your source for the poz guy living to be 100 years old. I'm not saying it's impossible, but... 

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14 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Curious about your source for the poz guy living to be 100 years old. I'm not saying it's impossible, but... 

The Lisbon Patient: Man living with HIV turns 100 | CTV News

Oldest known person with HIV dies at 100 | CTV News

 

Portuguese man with HIV celebrates his 100th birthday (nypost.com)

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Neither exciting or anything else. It’s all a bit nothing to me. I take my meds in the morning (I don’t pay for them here in the UK) and forget about it until the next morning. If there was a cure tomorrow would I take it? Yes, of course. But I don’t beat myself up because there isn’t one. What I can say is that it has changed me in one positive (no pun intended) way. I’ve concentrated on eating well and working out regularly. The result is I’m now far fitter than I’ve ever been in my life. Would I have done that before? Probably not. I know that isn’t the case for everyone and there are some harrowing home truths on this thread. But I’ve been fortunate not to have endured any of the bad experiences that have been outlined. For me, it is what it is, nothing more and nothing less.

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On 1/4/2023 at 1:46 PM, ObedientChaser said:

This really depends on where you live. In my part of the world, being poz means (among other benefits)  getting 100% free healthcare services and meds for the rest of your life plus a state welfare check which is equivalent to a basic, low salary, on top of your job salary, if you work as well.  So basically the "gift" becomes a monetary gift too. Also, now (2023) HIV does not even affect life expectancy. Recently a poz man managed to live 100 years before he died...  And I am saying all that, being negative myself. 

I’m interested to know what planet you live on in which this is true. I certainly don’t get a welfare check or government support of any kind. My meds aren’t free either. I may not pay anything to the drugstore when I pick them up, but that’s because I pay out the ass for my insurance, and even then I’d be in deep shit if it weren’t for the manufacturer’s copay assistance program. Plus, the extra visits to doctors for comorbid conditions eats through my deductible in a hurry. HIV is not a path to an income. It’s a road to suffering.

And, HIV doesn’t affect life expectancy? Bullshit. Read some actual studies. Even in the age of ART, HIV has the effect of shortening lifespan and accelerating aging, particularly in patients of older age diagnosed at an advanced stage. The reason the Lisbon patient’s survival to 100 is in the news is that it’s an anomaly. It bears pointing out that he was diagnosed at 84 - he wasn’t diagnosed in his 20s and lived with HIV for 80 years. HIV causes constant inflammation that wears on the body’s systems in a way that doesn’t happen to people who are negative, and is a reason that years get shaved off our lives. Besides, the number of people who live to be 100 at all is minute. There’s no country in the world with an average life expectancy of 100. A patient like myself can expect 7-9 years lost, assuming I manage to stay otherwise healthy.

Plus, you make no mention of all the places you can no longer travel and things you’re no longer allowed to do once you’re poz. I suppose you omitted these because they’re not ‘benefits’. The only ‘benefit’ to being positive is that you no longer have to fear getting infected with it - but you eventually swap that fear with regret somewhere down the line, if not sooner, then later.

HIV is the Enemy, and it never, ever, for one instant, isn’t trying to kill you. Never forget that.

 

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1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

I’m interested to know what planet you live on in which this is true. I certainly don’t get a welfare check or government support of any kind. My meds aren’t free either. I may not pay anything to the drugstore when I pick them up, but that’s because I pay out the ass for my insurance, and even then I’d be in deep shit if it weren’t for the manufacturer’s copay assistance program. Plus, the extra visits to doctors for comorbid conditions eats through my deductible in a hurry. HIV is not a path to an income. It’s a road to suffering.

The poster to whom you're responding has a profile indicating he lives in Greece. I can't verify what he's saying, but it's quite possible that in some other countries, particularly ones in Europe, there is in fact not only taxpayer-funded health care but living stipends (aka "welfare") paid by the government.

That is not to dispute your general point that HIV is still something people should be avoiding if possible. But we Americans tend to forget, at times, that not every place on this planet treats health care as a profit-based system designed to enrich insurance companies (and some providers), or that not every place on this planet treats assisting citizens financially as a sign of moral failure on the part of the recipient.

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3 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

The poster to whom you're responding has a profile indicating he lives in Greece. I can't verify what he's saying, but it's quite possible that in some other countries, particularly ones in Europe, there is in fact not only taxpayer-funded health care but living stipends (aka "welfare") paid by the government.

That is not to dispute your general point that HIV is still something people should be avoiding if possible. But we Americans tend to forget, at times, that not every place on this planet treats health care as a profit-based system designed to enrich insurance companies (and some providers), or that not every place on this planet treats assisting citizens financially as a sign of moral failure on the part of the recipient.

You’re right on both points as regards America’s regrettable stance on both healthcare and public assistance here in the Land of the Almighty Dollar. Perhaps there are places in the world that treat HIV patients as the poster describes.

He is, however, quite mistaken in his assertion about life expectancy - although the figures have improved over time and continued advances in care and treatment may eventually bring the number closer to expectancy for the non-infected. I, certainly, have no expectation to live as long as I might have done.

What troubles me most about the post is that it’s in effect advocating in favor of contracting HIV, on the sexual health board, and that he’s saying all this tripe as a person who’s negative and has no personal experience of the reality of living with the disease.

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4 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

The poster to whom you're responding has a profile indicating he lives in Greece. I can't verify what he's saying, but it's quite possible that in some other countries, particularly ones in Europe, there is in fact not only taxpayer-funded health care but living stipends (aka "welfare") paid by the government.

That is not to dispute your general point that HIV is still something people should be avoiding if possible. But we Americans tend to forget, at times, that not every place on this planet treats health care as a profit-based system designed to enrich insurance companies (and some providers), or that not every place on this planet treats assisting citizens financially as a sign of moral failure on the part of the recipient.

You are correct to point this out. God knows, the NHS here in the UK is far from perfect. Every year it seems to be going through “the worst crisis in its history”. It is top heavy with managers who have no clinical experience and it pays pointless “inclusion and diversity” managers four times what it pays its nurses. So I don’t view it through rose tinted spectacles. Plus it isn’t “free” inasmuch workers pay national insurance.  (As I’ve now paid my maximum required National Insurance contribution - I doubled up payments when I was younger - I will now only ever draw from the system, no longer contribute). But, despite its faults and occasional creakiness, the NHS is still pretty bloody marvellous. Let me give you a personal example.

Yesterday, I had my regular six month checkup with my HIV consultant. There were actually two this time as one was training. When I walked through the door, my meds for the next six months were parcelled up for me. I had all the usual tests. Blood pressure was taken. Weight. Cholesterol. They checked all my vaccinations were up to date. We had a chat and a laugh about overindulging at Christmas because I’d put on a couple of pounds since my last visit. Then they asked if I’d like a urine check for protein. I duly obliged and got an all clear result within minutes. I packed my meds, made my next appointment for June and was on my way. For this, I was not expected to pay one penny. It was less than an hour out of my day and a not unpleasant one.

I don’t wish to downplay the negatives others have outlined here. But it’s worth remembering that experiences may vary. 

 

Edited by RawPlug
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