Is it wrong for a bottom to use his top's dick for their own pleasure?

[RandyCubby]

I get fucked for butthole pleasure. Mindless, animal, butthole pleasure. I fuckin love dicks in my butthole! Anybody's dick.

First time I came from getting fucked, I was in my teens, and riding it cowgirl - still my favorite position. It felt SO good, it scared me a little.

[bbpoznow]

I may be called a greedy  bare bottom   I love a  hard cock dep in my butt hole.  I want the top to enjoy his self but  my first  is  I want his  cock and LOADS  in me first 

[Guest]

I don't think it is wrong for the bottom to get as much pleasure from a tops cock as possible, as long as he makes sure the top is in charge and gets satisfied to his desires, after all, that was how I was broken in way back when I began. It was all about the pleasure of both being satisfied when my mentor began using me and training me, but utmost that the top be fully satisfied no matter what..

[MuscledHorse]

On 6/10/2019 at 9:40 AM, rawsatyr said:

Allow me to give you a longer response. Could be like fiction for some to read but it's reality for me!    Skip this if you are in a hurry!

   I strongly advocate for 'pro-active' assertive and preferably masculine POWER-BOTTOMS! Guys who keep in shape, talk like dudes and don't whine about their 'ass-needs' but who actively, charmingly and seductively know how to press a random top's buttons. Guys who don't get clingy but just like a prowling top TAKE CHARGE and celebrate promiscuity. It turns me on when a guy presents his elongated fuck-slit, a feature which is OBVIOUS proof of his cum-dumpster champ-status!

    Gay LIBERATION didn't come to us so some self-perceived BETTER-gays and entitled jerks can trip out on UEBER-CHAUVINIST head-trips, delegating all bottoms to 'worthless holes'... sure the 'fantasy' can be played out during verbal dirty sex-talk (I guess) just like some guys do occasionally, 'going along with it' during inter-racial sex. You know, using N-word, racist language nastier than the KKK or how they do in ROOTS. But for the most part, it's TIME OUT for me then and I have to FAKE enthusiasm so as to not spoil a perfectly good hard-on and insemination...

    I myself as a former, conventional monogamist who rode the  'mostly-top-ticket', I quickly tired of lazy bottoms. And if some random buck suggested he wanted to fuck me, I would run! No I wanted to be in control, and only top without a rubber. Because WITH a rubber I lost my hard-on! But I got tired of stereotypical bottoms who just lay back like cheap blow-up dolls and at best give you the verbal, whimpering feed-back of a FEMBOT Or the annoying wailing of Latin nelly-boy Armand Rizzo, who despite OBVIOUSLY-taking huge cock again and again 'professionally' still makes a racket like an abused woman, reluctantly taking pipe from her selfish, abusive husband. And even though Armand has a big cock when he DOES top, as a 95% bottom all you see is a shriveled, clit-like ant-eater. That feminine cliche may inspire and turn on those guys obsessed with their own 'superior masculinity'. But it's a two-way street the 'choosing a aside': those who see themselves as 'entitled alphas' who want 'lesser males' to clean off their post-ciotus shitty dicks' . You know, by those who CHOSE to be 'worthless faggots' and who consigned themselves to a BITCH-SLAVE  existence 'born to be JUST A HOLE'. 

    Am I alone here when I say: When I top a dude I prefer to see his face, a fiendish smirk and a raging lollipop hard-on dripping precum from his dimpled piss-slit in anticipation of being bred!!!! One who carries himself like a dude, who talks like a dude and who smirks as he says: "Gotta run! But Thanks for nutting in my ass, bro!" 

    After my 'conversion' I have accepted new rules! Promiscuity rules, versatility is hot! All 'traditional, conventional' role play went out the window!  I pride myself of having seduced tops to bottom for me, and to have taken the cock of sexy bottoms who rarely top. When I ride a thick cock, the can-sized variety like Rocco Steele, I use spit and slip down balls-deep without flinching! At least that is my trademark MO! Hell I had my nipples pierced without flinching or making a sound! And I will ride a cock like LUCIFER (spell-check turned this into Sarah Palin)  himself or the more appropriate role models of mine, the seductive SATYRS of legends.

    I remember when I would go out and meet other TOPS (the more simple-minded kind) and we'd exchange competitive static and keep distance. Them circling the same 'prey' I would... the total BOTTOMS would be taken in for a night of breeding, rutted and seeded, tagged and slam-dunked and then discarded like chicken-bones, predictably because they rarely were very interesting or lacked an exciting personality.

    The HOT ONES always turned out to be the versatile PLAYERS who are opportunistic catchers and pitchers depending on the game, and 'popular sluts' and who scored a lot. We are all attracted to bad boys, at least in the bareback/poz sub-culture... I even coach my man of how to 'hook' new players, take loads, and occasionally breed new players! Regulars don't even count, only new conquests!

    I myself as a 'reformed, serial monogamist top' have taken the pledge to take all raw cock with the conviction and relish of a dark angel. No pulling out, no loads refused, no regrets and no shame! In some ways I feel like it's penance for having been a 'putz', compensation for having been a judgmental cunt, catching up with the scores of the bros, acceptance of being a risk-taking slut! Absorbing 'sketchy', anon and potentially DANGEROUS cock and seed; and I feel a rush FOR HOURS afterwards, the sensation of doing 'rolls' at a circuit party, knowing I'm holding on to random cum to full absorption!!! Like a true slut! ! Instead of being a traditional bore, I will hopefully put on an entertaining show ( and hopefully with witnesses watching us)  whether I top or bottom (hopefully avoiding any porn cliches)! I'm intend on GETTING A FUN REPUTATION! I want other promiscuous guys to say: "Yeah, he is one of us and he is a damn good fuck! And he plays well with others, let's invite him to the orgy!" 

   My biggest fantasy is to entice the most popular, athletic cum-dumpster at a sex-party, one who has taken loads from a whole rat-pack of fans. Entice him with the right 'bro-moves' to accept me as a challenge and suddenly TURN TABLES. Getting a boner to want to fuck me, using the dripping DNA from his fuck-hole for lube to rut and inseminate me! That would be so hot, so sleazy and over-the-top! Total promiscuity and cross-pollination! Versatile sharing of the 'legacy' of a whole tribe of poz-bros for all to witness! Total redemption for all the hang-ups!

damn dude! You just described me: hyper-promiscuous masculine, muscled, extra thik penis and huge hole that makes a slit when not in use and could live life being used most of every day and be truly happy at. I know how to pleasure a top and bring out the agressive beast in him to satisfy my gluttonous sexual needs as I satisfy his with my ass and mouth. 

[bbpoznow]

makes me wish I was a top   but as a bare bottom  I to look for  hung  tops 

[steve-tmq]

On 10 June 2019 at 2:20 AM, backdoorjimmy said:

I'm a 100% bottom and sometimes I feel like I'm using my boyfriend's dick instead of him using my hole. I love a nice long lay and sometimes I just climb on and use his cock the way I want. My favorite way to get laid is on my back with my legs on his shoulders. But sometimes I get so horny for it that I need to straddle him and ride it so that it presses harder against my spot until I orgasm.  

I keep reading all these threads about bottoms being used for their man's pleasure only, and I want to be a good bottom. I want to make sure my bf is taken care of and that he cums as much as he needs to. But sometimes I need to get my ass serviced and I can't help myself. Does this make me a selfish bottom? 

The important point is that a bottom is there ONLY to please the Top.  That said if the Top is pleased by his bottom doing this or anything thing else then thats good.   Personally I want all people playing to get something out of it.

 

[tallslenderguy]

On 6/10/2019 at 6:40 AM, rawsatyr said:

 

   I strongly advocate for 'pro-active' assertive and preferably masculine POWER-BOTTOMS! Guys who keep in shape, talk like dudes and don't whine about their 'ass-needs' but who actively, charmingly and seductively know how to press a random top's buttons. Guys who don't get clingy but just like a prowling top TAKE CHARGE and celebrate promiscuity. It turns me on when a guy presents his elongated fuck-slit, a feature which is OBVIOUS proof of his cum-dumpster champ-status!

    Gay LIBERATION didn't come to us so some self-perceived BETTER-gays and entitled jerks can trip out on UEBER-CHAUVINIST head-trips, delegating all bottoms to 'worthless holes'... sure the 'fantasy' can be played out during verbal dirty sex-talk (I guess) just like some guys do occasionally, 'going along with it' during inter-racial sex. You know, using N-word, racist language nastier than the KKK or how they do in ROOTS. But for the most part, it's TIME OUT for me then and I have to FAKE enthusiasm so as to not spoil a perfectly good hard-on and insemination...

    I myself as a former, conventional monogamist who rode the  'mostly-top-ticket', I quickly tired of lazy bottoms. And if some random buck suggested he wanted to fuck me, I would run! No I wanted to be in control, and only top without a rubber. Because WITH a rubber I lost my hard-on! But I got tired of stereotypical bottoms who just lay back like cheap blow-up dolls and at best give you the verbal, whimpering feed-back of a FEMBOT Or the annoying wailing of Latin nelly-boy Armand Rizzo, who despite OBVIOUSLY-taking huge cock again and again 'professionally' still makes a racket like an abused woman, reluctantly taking pipe from her selfish, abusive husband. And even though Armand has a big cock when he DOES top, as a 95% bottom all you see is a shriveled, clit-like ant-eater. That feminine cliche may inspire and turn on those guys obsessed with their own 'superior masculinity'. But it's a two-way street the 'choosing a aside': those who see themselves as 'entitled alphas' who want 'lesser males' to clean off their post-ciotus shitty dicks' . You know, by those who CHOSE to be 'worthless faggots' and who consigned themselves to a BITCH-SLAVE  existence 'born to be JUST A HOLE'. 

    Am I alone here when I say: When I top a dude I prefer to see his face, a fiendish smirk and a raging lollipop hard-on dripping precum from his dimpled piss-slit in anticipation of being bred!!!! One who carries himself like a dude, who talks like a dude and who smirks as he says: "Gotta run! But Thanks for nutting in my ass, bro!" 

   

i may be inferring tone you don't intend, but to me, you 'sound' like a different version of "self-perceived BETTER-gays."  That essentially, you are saying what you perceive as "pro-active assertive and preferably masculine POWER BOTTOMS" are superior to "UEBER-CHAUVINIST"'s or "lazy bottoms."  

 i find myself relating to a lot of what you say. i've come close to decking a few presumptuous guys who thought they could freely cause me pain, i shut down with bullies or have a violent response i have, to date, contained. i could go on. i like a lot of your qualities, but i don't think they are universally fundamental, just individually so.

The point i want to make is i believe "liberation" is about being true to oneself, not conforming to someone else ideas of what's good or better, right or wrong.  Some guys clearly like "whiney" or "clingy," and some guys adore "bullies" (i've seen plenty of guys who identify as "Dom" proudly refer to themselves as "bullies"). i don't relate to either. i feel like i fit into a narrow sub-sub culture of "sub," and there are plenty of guys who identify as "Dom" or "sub" who would tell me i'm not sub because i don't fit their particular definition. i questioned it myself until i started meeting "Dom" guys who were a fit and there was attraction, bonding and awesome, deep connection between us.  To me, Dom, sub, passive, pro-active, controlling, etc., etc.,  are just general descriptors, that there are infinite variations and combinations.  ,

my best connections with guys has been when i am NOT conforming, but am simply honest, open and vulnerable, which i believe is the opposite of weak  though often perceived as such and someone who is my opposite is naturally attracted. It's symbiotic.  Those connections could never have happened if i was trying to be, or not to be, something other than i am.

  

 

[backdoorjimmy]

On 6/11/2019 at 2:43 PM, ErosWired said:

There’s absolutely no denying that a bottom derives pleasure from a fuck. Even a dedicated service bottom like me has to admit that the feeling is so damn good it’s like a drug, even if you don’t climax, and even when it’s a painful fuck it (almost) always ends up being worth the pain. Anybody who says he gets no personal physical pleasure from it would be nuts, and we haven’t heard that here - why? Because if it didn’t feel so good, guys wouldn’t stick their privates in other guys’ assholes, and the other guys that wouldn’t let them.

I think the bulk of answers in this thread have trended toward the notion that it’s fine for the bottom to feel pleasure when fucking, and that communication is the best way to ensure that both men get the most out of the encounter. But my sense of the OP’s original question was more along the lines of “Is it wrong for a bottom to use a Top without concern for the Top’s pleasure?” (I ask the OP to correct me if I have misinterpreted this.)

In that context, I’m not sure the question has been thoroughly considered in the thread. My own answer - that as a service bottom my duty is to the Top’s pleasure -suffers from obvious bias and is really not even useful - the OP’s question is properly addressed to that subset of bottoms who fuck purely for pleasure and not for some commingled mix of pleasure and duty/obligation. Or so I perceive.

I still want my man to get pleasure from it, but usually I ride his dick that way after he's already cum for the first time. I spend time licking his butthole and his nuts until his dick isn't too sensitive, then I suck him until he's nice and hard for me. I want him to love being inside me, but when I'm in heat I need to be fucked good. So I have him lay on his back and I do all the work by riding him until either:

A. He cums again while he's on his back, or...

B. He decides to take control and flips me on my back so he can dominate me. 

Either way, I always have a strong anal orgasm the second time and sometimes I can have more than one before he cums again. I guess I'm just wondering if that makes me a selfish lover or a bad bottom. My bf doesn't think so, but for as long as I've been having sex I've been told that the bottom is only there to please his man. So I feel conflicted. 

[verbalBTTM]

It's really about getting off, sometimes i love it when a bottom milks my cock dry with his ass

[shinelover]

Everyone derives pleasure differently. Tops and bottoms. And the versatile. Doesn't mean one deserves pleasure more than other. Obviously if you're into some sort of role play or 'scene' and your role is to solely pleasure your top, then obviously you've agreed not to acknowledge your own pleasure for the time being. 

[tallslenderguy]

11 hours ago, backdoorjimmy said:

I still want my man to get pleasure from it,

Either way, I always have a strong anal orgasm the second time and sometimes I can have more than one before he cums again. I guess I'm just wondering if that makes me a selfish lover or a bad bottom. My bf doesn't think so, but for as long as I've been having sex I've been told that the bottom is only there to please his man. So I feel conflicted. 

i think your "conflict" is culturally derived.  You clearly state that your boyfriend doesn't think you're "a selfish lover or a bad bottom."  But there are many in gay culture who purport "that the bottom is only there to please his man."  i say "many" because even in this conversation it's obvious that this is not a universal notion in gay culture, that is really a sub-culture of the gay community that believes this way. 

To me it comes down to who makes the rules in your life? We grow up being taught, programmed, culturally conditioned. i grew up in an era and culture where being homosexual was both sick and sinful.  It took me a long time to get free of that mind fuck, but i did. And i do mean "Free."  i didn't just rebel against it because i want what i want, i really did the work to see through it and get free.  

i know my situation was not the same thing as what you describe, but it helps make the point: do you want to follow a sub cultures code or do you want to be true to your self? i see culture as a collection of like minded individuals. I.e., a bunch of individuals who all believe similar stuff get together and you have culture. Of course, it's not that easy or neat and clean because all cultures are made of individuals that bring variation into the mix (and often conflict from that). 

Personally, i'd vote for being true to self.  i think there is more conflict in going against who you are than there is in going against the notions of what others think you should be.

[rawsatyr]

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i may be inferring tone you don't intend, but to me, you 'sound' like a different version of "self-perceived BETTER-gays."  That essentially, you are saying what you perceive as "pro-active assertive and preferably masculine POWER BOTTOMS" are superior to "UEBER-CHAUVINIST"'s or "lazy bottoms."  

 i find myself relating to a lot of what you say. i've come close to decking a few presumptuous guys who thought they could freely cause me pain, i shut down with bullies or have a violent response i have, to date, contained. i could go on. i like a lot of your qualities, but i don't think they are universally fundamental, just individually so.

The point i want to make is i believe "liberation" is about being true to oneself, not conforming to someone else ideas of what's good or better, right or wrong.  Some guys clearly like "whiney" or "clingy," and some guys adore "bullies" (i've seen plenty of guys who identify as "Dom" proudly refer to themselves as "bullies"). i don't relate to either. i feel like i fit into a narrow sub-sub culture of "sub," and there are plenty of guys who identify as "Dom" or "sub" who would tell me i'm not sub because i don't fit their particular definition. i questioned it myself until i started meeting "Dom" guys who were a fit and there was attraction, bonding and awesome, deep connection between us.  To me, Dom, sub, passive, pro-active, controlling, etc., etc.,  are just general descriptors, that there are infinite variations and combinations.  ,

my best connections with guys has been when i am NOT conforming, but am simply honest, open and vulnerable, which i believe is the opposite of weak  though often perceived as such and someone who is my opposite is naturally attracted. It's symbiotic.  Those connections could never have happened if i was trying to be, or not to be, something other than i am.

  

 

Excellent feedback!

There really are a lot of possible erotic attraction  variations, some which surprisingly TURN ME ON (unexpectedly) and others that totally kill it for me. Sometimes we have to PUSH OURSELVES to take chances and explore. Anon sex, fisting and promiscuity was such a challenge for me not fully conquered. But some things turn out to be total mood killers. For example: guys in women's panties, high-heels, diapers or whatever will never 'do it for me'. "WAITER!!! CHECK please!" 

BUT, I used to hang with a hyper-masculine crowd in West Hollywood that inadvertently encouraged me to broaden my horizon. When one of them revealed himself as a 'traditional cheater' (BF-poacher) who snaked on me, I out-of-spite and thrill, hooked up with a tall, 'nelly' call-boy who my former peer would have NEVER approved of. And instead of topping him, I allowed the big, nelly top to top me! Was one of the hottest fucks. Yes it was a grudge fuck but an 'opening act' too for a more adventurous me...

You would think that on this site there is much more 'tolerance' for variety, 'perversion' and kinkiness but I found a lot of the opposite knee-jerking. For example: a guy I later talked to on the phone, who proclaims himself a promiscuous stealther with an  'untreatable  strain of HIV' (something that makes me uncomfortable but I hush) attacked me for my 'equal-rights-for-goose-and-gander-policy'. He said: "That would NEVER happen to me! IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND, he would NEVER be allowed to be with another man!" Yet he would presumably continue his own promiscuous hobbies. And guess what? By his own admissions he doesn't HAVE a BF nor ever did! So good luck with that hypocrisy!

This odd exchange follows an angry outburst by a follower I had (before THE CHANGE) on TUMBLR who was a self-professed DOM with a super-controlling mentality. When I posted images of a very hot series (of a young 'initiate') being barebacked by a whole gang of jaded older guys, he had a FIT! Of HOW WRONG THAT IS! Although the paraphrased more common feedback was 'holy shit that is so fucking hot'...

As a matter of fact, having a 'controller' and 'equal-rights-denier' go off so verbally had me admire similar images EVEN MORE. to the point where THE FORBIDDEN (by my dissenters) has become an even bigger turn-on... I think I will even post an album of 'initiates join the promiscuous bareback team - NO LOADS REFUSED!'

[tallslenderguy]

15 minutes ago, rawsatyr said:

Excellent feedback!

There really are a lot of possible erotic attraction  variations, some which surprisingly TURN ME ON (unexpectedly) and others that totally kill it for me. Sometimes we have to PUSH OURSELVES to take chances and explore. Anon sex, fisting and promiscuity was such a challenge for me not fully conquered. But some things turn out to be total mood killers. For example: guys in women's panties, high-heels, diapers or whatever will never 'do it for me'. "WAITER!!! CHECK please!" 

BUT, I used to hang with a hyper-masculine crowd in West Hollywood that inadvertently encouraged me to broaden my horizon. When one of them revealed himself as a 'traditional cheater' (BF-poacher) who snaked on me, I out-of-spite and thrill, hooked up with a tall, 'nelly' call-boy who my former peer would have NEVER approved of. And instead of topping him, I allowed the big, nelly top to top me! Was one of the hottest fucks. Yes it was a grudge fuck but an 'opening act' too for a more adventurous me...

You would think that on this site there is much more 'tolerance' for variety, 'perversion' and kinkiness but I found a lot of the opposite knee-jerking. For example: a guy I later talked to on the phone, who proclaims himself a promiscuous stealther with an  'untreatable  strain of HIV' (something that makes me uncomfortable but I hush) attacked me for my 'equal-rights-for-goose-and-gander-policy'. He said: "That would NEVER happen to me! IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND, he would NEVER be allowed to be with another man!" Yet he would presumably continue his own promiscuous hobbies. And guess what? By his own admissions he doesn't HAVE a BF nor ever did! So good luck with that hypocrisy!

This odd exchange follows an angry outburst by a follower I had (before THE CHANGE) on TUMBLR who was a self-professed DOM with a super-controlling mentality. When I posted images of a very hot series (of a young 'initiate') being barebacked by a whole gang of jaded older guys, he had a FIT! Of HOW WRONG THAT IS! Although the paraphrased more common feedback was 'holy shit that is so fucking hot'...

As a matter of fact, having a 'controller' and 'equal-rights-denier' go off so verbally had me admire similar images EVEN MORE. to the point where THE FORBIDDEN (by my dissenters) has become an even bigger turn-on... I think I will even post an album of 'initiates join the promiscuous bareback team - NO LOADS REFUSED!'

Thank you... and ditto, i think you are a very cool and insightful guy!

i grew up in a strict religious christian fundamentalist culture.  It took me way to long to process through that mind fuck, but i did thoroughly (and i believe, completely).  Since then i have learned that fundamentalism is not the sole purview of religious folk, one can be a fundamentalist anything (e.g. fundamentalist atheist, gay, muslim, etc. etc.).  i think "fundamentalism" is a mindset; a disposition of absolutism.  i've had enough proverbial cock down my throat to (usually) overcome the gag reflex when someone makes an unequivocal  comment like: "all bottoms should___________" or "all subs are______________" or "all Tops are______________" or "Dom is__________________" ad infinitum.

 i do have a hypersensitivity to fundamentalism in any form though.  i work hard at trying to stay aware of absolutism in myself.  It seems so easy and almost natural for us (humans) to impose our perceptions and notions on everyone and turn them into universal facts of life lol.  Especially the stuff that is near and dear to us. 

For me, plumbing the depths of reality has always been "... the hottest fucks"  compared to role playing or conforming to the status quo, no matter how edgy that status may be.  my idea of "mind fuck" is two guys connecting in to what is in each other, not an idea or ideal of what should be.  It's self discovery and vulnerable in BOTH parties, otherwise the connection is incomplete from. From what i have experienced, the absolute rules we make are literally self defeating and thwart the very thing we crave: connecting and bonding with another person.

[Guest RawCunt]

With all the cock I've had over the years, only once have I ever used a cock for my own pleasure.

I used to have a regular who would almost come every time I was out beat whoring.  He really loved a cum sloppy hole, and loved to fuck me after others had dumped their loads. 

On this one occasion, the beat was bare, and resorted to him only, fucking and breeding me twice.  When he was done and getting ready to leave, I begged him to fuck me again.  He insisted he couldn't, but his cock was semi hard already.  I walked to him, started kissing his neck, and lips and begging more and more.  He continued to say no.  I eventually pushed him slowly to a pole that held the gazebo up that we were under, and managed to get his hands behind his back while kissing his neck, then I used my collar to cuff his hands behind the pole, and had him trapped.  I continued to beg for his cock and he continued to say no.   Eventually I dropped to my knees, went to work and got his cock rock hard again.  With that I stood up, turned around, bent over and reached around for his cock, and directed it at my hole, then drove back in one hard push and had him balls deep in me again.

I slowly began riding him and gradually built up the tempo till I was bouncing on his cock as hard as I could.  Soon he started moaning and groaning and I rode his cock like my life depended on it, eventually milking his cock once more.  Afterwards, I released him, gave him some kissing, apologized and thanked him.   He seemed happy with had happened, and continued to fuck me the next time I was out whoring.  I think he was saving himself for another bottom later on, as to why he didn't want to again at the time.  Sorry to that bottom whoever it was, but I needed my hole fucked.

[backdoorjimmy]

On 6/13/2019 at 8:56 AM, tallslenderguy said:

i think your "conflict" is culturally derived.  You clearly state that your boyfriend doesn't think you're "a selfish lover or a bad bottom."  But there are many in gay culture who purport "that the bottom is only there to please his man."  i say "many" because even in this conversation it's obvious that this is not a universal notion in gay culture, that is really a sub-culture of the gay community that believes this way. 

To me it comes down to who makes the rules in your life? We grow up being taught, programmed, culturally conditioned. i grew up in an era and culture where being homosexual was both sick and sinful.  It took me a long time to get free of that mind fuck, but i did. And i do mean "Free."  i didn't just rebel against it because i want what i want, i really did the work to see through it and get free.  

i know my situation was not the same thing as what you describe, but it helps make the point: do you want to follow a sub cultures code or do you want to be true to your self? i see culture as a collection of like minded individuals. I.e., a bunch of individuals who all believe similar stuff get together and you have culture. Of course, it's not that easy or neat and clean because all cultures are made of individuals that bring variation into the mix (and often conflict from that). 

Personally, i'd vote for being true to self.  i think there is more conflict in going against who you are than there is in going against the notions of what others think you should be.

Thanks, you gave me a lot to think about. I know some of it is just me being hung up on what it means to be a bottom and how I'm supposed to act. I don't really fit into any box as a bottom. I'm not outwardly fem at all but everyone naturally assumes I'm the bottom in every situation. Even my mom told me that she knew I was the bottom long before I ever admitted it to her (long story there). 

I guess I've just been overthinking what my role as a bottom should be. I want to be a good bottom, but I want to keep my ass satisfied, too. When I get horny and need to get my ass serviced, I can't think about anything else. It feels like I'm going crazy from the way it trembles when I need to get laid.  Even a good ride on one of my dildos won't calm it down.