Have you ever been raped?

[ErosWired]

I just came across this, the most comprehensive study if male-on-male rape I’ve ever seen. It’s from 2004, but still fascinating:

A Study of Male Rape Survivors

[think before following links] https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/17182826.pdf

Edited March 12, 2021 by ErosWired

[Cumpigmelb]

I was 21 almost 22 years old, it was 1986,  I am an Australian I was traveling the  USA I had had sex across the USA from San Fran to Washington. I arrived in New York City it was late just getting dark, I was walking through Central Park and three black guys cornered me and took me to a secluded place they raped me the first one had a long thin cock my ass took his cock easily as I was an experienced bottom. The second guys cock was much thicker but with the massive load the first guy had shot in me I took him balls deep while on my knees I saw the next guys cock it was like a baseball bat. I was worried now. The other two picked me up and guided me onto his cock I had no control it felt like he was splitting me in two he didn’t last long he shot his load in me called me a fucking Whore 

told me I had been fucked by a real man. They then stole my money. Took my bags I had nothing but my dirty clothes they had left in the dirt. 

I put them on and went to the police station they said there was nothing they could do. They let me use the phone to contact family to get money sent and documents to get a new passport. 

This would take days. 

They gave me the details of a homeless shelter. I went the first night, I explained what had happened to me I heard others talking about me,  I noticed a lot of semi naked men wandering the halls as it was hot. 
I found the showers and put on the T-shirt and shorts they gave me  

I found the room there was a guy asleep on the top bunk the door was open already so I left the door open as it was a hot night so I stripped off and laid naked on my bed. 

The mattress was smelly and I noticed a man on the top bunk was standing over me, he closed the door he never said a word as he slid his cock in my ass, a few thrusts and after thirty seconds he grunted and yelled as he bred me. 

He made so much noise it attracted others. They formed a queue outside my door and one by one they fucked me over n over. 

The next morning my hole was open and leaking cum n blood on the mattress. 

I went to the showers. Some of the comments were insulting, slut whore were ones I remember. 

I went back to my room and the line started to form again. 

I let them use me as they wanted, I had no strength to resist I lost track of the amount of men who used me, 

I passed out  

 

I woke up and I was hungry So I got up and went to the kitchen to get some food. 

I went for a walk to the police station to see if there was any news. 

Someone had found my backpack with my passport and some clothes. 

I was so happy. 

I went back to the shelter. 

It was another warm afternoon, I laid on my mattress the smell of cum on the mattress was strong. 

I heard footsteps outside my room and the door opens in cane a black man tall and skinny I saw a huge cock down his right leg he dropped his shorts and said suck it. 

I did as I was told. 

I noticed how wasted and skinny he was I thought it was because he was homeless. 

He started to finger my hole. It was tender and sore from yesterday he told me to bend over he spat on my hole and his cock which was now fully erect and thick 10 inch cock was at my hole he drove it in I yelped he covered my hand and started to rape my hole. 

I was just a hole to him. Others had gathered and were watching from the hallway. He finished and in cam the next guy. It became a blur some guy gave me some pills to make it better. I passed out I woke up on my back legs tied back, a fist in my ass. Cum over my face a sore mouth I could taste cum. Later that night I took two huge black cocks at the same time. 

I was there for 5 nights. 

By the fifth night I didn’t want to ever leave. 

The word got out. Over the 5 nights I estimate I took over 100 loads from an unknown amount of homeless men. 

When I got home I went to the Dr the tested me I had clymidia. But negative to other STD’s and HIV. 
he told me I was lucky. 
I agreed. 

[Cumpigmelb]

Oh and although the initial rape from the three men in Central Park was unwanted. 
it’s never had any negative effect on me. 
If you want to know more about how old I was when I started having sex then you can contact me on here or telegram. 

[irishlongpig]

More than once 

Was on a boarding school for boys and it started with two older guys at night 

the same older guys took me later to an unused outbuilding and there were three others and two guys who should take care of us at nighttime Together it was a sex party there and every year the oldest came up there with newbies to use and abuse You had to keep your mouth because if you talk about it your life was over on the school and you would loose all of your privileges' 

One of those guys was into sm also and loved to use and abuse the teens there I was a hot teen then and he used me loads of times and at the end i liked it I became his private SM bondage toy boy

 

Edited March 13, 2021 by irishlongpig

[kinkysuBB]

I had my drink spiked at a bar once. I threw a lot of it up on the floor and got kicked out (I suspect it was G). I don’t remember anything for a while then. Next thing I woke up a couple of times in various parts of the local sauna, different guys fucking me raw each time. One of them whispered “Do you want AIDS?” in my ear, before I blacked out again. I was on my back in missionary taking his cock, but I’ve no idea what he even looked like, the memory is so blurred.  This was before I was on PrEP. I went on PEP afterwards and I didn’t get AIDS, HIV or anything else.

I’ve often wondered could what happened to me that night be considered rape? It certainly wasn’t consensual sex, because I didn’t know what I was doing. Then again, I managed to walk to a sauna, pay in, get undressed, and go cruising. I presume I was clearly out of it on drugs, but guys go there like that all the time. Fucking me while I was unconscious is rape, I guess.

I’ve no idea how many men fucked me while I was unconscious that night. I do know when I finally woke up in a sling and stayed awake, I willingly took loads more cock and got bred a bunch of times. The whole thing is a hot as fuck memory for me and was very self affirming for me as a slut. I don’t feel in any way violated. It feels right and natural that this happened. Obviously other people will have had far more traumatic experiences and I’m not condoning rape. But if this was rape (and it probably was), yes, I’m glad I was raped that night.

I actually posted a topic here asking about being fucked unconscious on drugs before. I’d totally forgotten it had happened to me already.

[Phallarchist]

5 hours ago, subBottomKink said:

Fucking me while I was unconscious is rape, I guess.

Yes, that's definitely the dominant legal standard.

6 hours ago, subBottomKink said:

I’m glad I was raped that night.

There's no contradiction. You have a right to enjoy being violated and otherwise choose how you react.

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, Phallarchist said:

There's no contradiction. You have a right to enjoy being violated and otherwise choose how you react.

While I would not have put it quite this way, this an important distinction for any victim of sexual violence - you do not have to allow the event, or anyone else’s perceptions concerning the event, to define anything about you. The rapist may have exercised a type of power over you in that moment, but that man never had the power to redefine you, never will, and never could. How you react to something done to your body is entirely your choice. That’s not to say that it’s easy to set aside what was done - If I think about my own experience, I still feel a particular sense of deep violation - but the path to recovery lies in this ability to personally choose.

[ErosWired]

There’s an experience that I don’t talk about much, mainly because it’s so fringe-y and out there that most people think it’s made up or otherwise can’t take it seriously. I don’t really blame them, because it concerns hypnosis, a practice that most people understand very poorly or only in terms of urban myth. The only thing I can say is that hypnosis is a very real practice, and a skilled hypnotist can entrance subjects with particularly good aptitude into very deep states in which visual and auditory realities can be generated both from the suggestion of the hypnotist and the inner mind of the subject. There is no such thing as “mind control”, but in such states, a hypnotist is in a very powerful position over a very vulnerable man, and there is always the potential for an unethical hypnotist to do something egregious.

 I won’t belabor this with a long preamble except to say that the few times I have given myself to hypnotists for trance, I have been told I was ideal material as a subject. This meant, inevitably I suppose, that I would be an ideal victim for H, as I will call the hypnotist in question. H had well-developed skills and tranced me almost immediately, gradually but quickly taking my mind deeper and deeper into an area of trance in which he strengthened his control by suggestion. During one session, he was able to make me perceive that my wrists and ankles were firmly clamped to a table, then proceeded to bring me to a violent orgasm, hands-free, simply by telling me what I was feeling. That sounds like a fantasy; it isn’t. It happened. But that wasn’t the violation.

In another session, he pulled my mind deeper, deeper, deeper, past every layer of thinking and feeling he could, asking me what I could sense around me at each level. At last, I dropped down into a place that had a very peculiar feeling, and the only thing visible to me was an orb of light.

”What do you see now?” H asked.

 I told him, “I think I can see my soul.”

He paused for a few seconds, then said, “Then I’m going to fuck your soul.”

He made me perceive, quite vividly, his large, veined, very rigid cock and made me watch it rape my soul. I couldn’t move or make a sound, only float frozen there while he ejaculated into the previously pristine orb.

This all took place in my mind, at his suggestion. It shook me; I have possibly never felt so sickened or debased. This was not an act of sexual gratification by H, but an act of pure, refined domination and control. He had wanted to see how deeply, how intimately he could freely violate me, and he found the mother lode.

That was some years ago. To this day, if I allow myself to reflect on it, I still feel my soul contaminated with the essence of his cock, and I feel re-violated. It frustrates me that he basically gets to re-violate me at that level simply because I don’t forget it. I imagine that knowledge would give him pleasure, and I begrudge him that.

To make this even harder to believe, he did this to be by phone. I never met him physically, was probably never within 100 miles of him. So one might well debate: Was this a rape?

 It sure as hell felt like rape. It still does, every time, and has close similarities to what I experienced during my in-person physical sexual assault. But imagine complaining to a judge in a courtroom that a hypnotist raped your soul.

(By the way, please don’t any of you motherfuckers remark how this sounds “hot” to you or how you’d love it if a hypnotist did it to you because no, you wouldn’t, and you’ll just end up sounding like a dick.)

[Close2MyBro]

On 1/24/2021 at 7:54 AM, Blatinobttm said:

I wonder if being sexually assaulted makes some individuals more promiscuous. I personally am all conflicted about the whole thing. When it was happening I felt absolutely violated and not in a hot way. After it was done immediately was turned on and wanted more violent/aggressive sexual encounters and have been drawn to that. Isn’t that fucked up?

I have a friend who was raped and he said the same thing. He was hoping to run into the guy again and he still gets turned on every time he thinks about it.

[bisexualguy1978]

21 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

I have a friend who was raped and he said the same thing. He was hoping to run into the guy again and he still gets turned on every time he thinks about it.

Weird how that works right, I have the same. For me, it was a terrible experience altogether. I especially block out the time I had to spend in the hospital after my second rape. But despite all that I do get horny thinking about the experience/the event itself (so from the point it started till the point I got in physical harm). It’s not the aggressive/dominant part per se that I get aroused from (only a little). For me, it’s for a big part the unknown/anonymous side of it. In some weird way, I also want it to happen again (except for the getting harmed part).

Like I said before, I think these experiences had a big part in me being a horny bisexual slut, and I enjoy being one. But deep down I wished it never happened, making it a truly mixed feeling.

[tallslenderguy]

Wow, some amazing stories and discussion in this thread, i am floored and saddened by many of them. Thank you to all the genuine participants, i am grateful for your openness, vulnerability.  For me, that is the essence of 'sex' for me, the bond, connection that can happen when two guys are being real and exposed. 

i have never been raped. As a teen, a guy looking to be in his 30's picked me up in his car with some intent. It was a really strange experience. i was 15 and well aware of my attraction to guys, but i considered my desires and feelings wrong, so i was ambivalent at best, and mostly homophobic.  He made up a story about wanting to know where the hospital was, that his wife was there. i started to give directions and he asked if i had the time to show him. i was a totally naive kid. His car was pretty beaten up, holes in the seats, a real beater. As we were headed towards the hospital, he pulled into an abandoned parking lot saying he wanted to smoke a joint before going. i was a religious kid, so my mind was on doing him a kindness, but i had been around a lot of drugs at that point because my older sister and her friends got stoned a lot, and i was sort of their mascot. So, while i didn't get stoned myself, i didn't think much about it.  When he had parked, he told me that the joint was under my seat, so i went to retrieve it and he said, "no, i need for you to watch out for anyone, I'll get it."  He was pretty elaborate and i was a completely naive idiot. His head was practically between my legs as he was 'looking for the joint' under the passenger seat i was sitting in. He told me it was "stuck" and put his hand on the seat between my legs and started pushing on the seat, ostensibly to shake it loose. He kept telling me not to look down at what he was doing, but to keep a look out, and his hand pushing against the seat between my legs started rubbing against my penis too, and i started getting hard. Suddenly, it dawned on me what he was doing and i turned red and was afraid, but i played along because i didn't want him to know i knew, i went into what for me was survival mode and told him i needed to go now, that i had somewhere i had to be.  He tried to convince me, but i was gently persistent that i had to go. So he drove me back to where he had picked me up off the street i'd been walking on. He had to get out of the car to let me out because he'd apparently removed the interior handle to open the car door on the passenger side.  After he let me out and drove off, me still pretending all was normal,  the fear and simultaneous relief set in and i started shaking like a leaf, realizing i'd dodged a bullet.  Yet, later, i masturbated remembering and replaying what had happened. 

i can trace my sub nature back as far as 7 years old. Retrospectively, i understand that before i learned how to hide who and how i was, i attracted what were probably dom boys who also didn't know who and how they were at that age, all the way into early teenage, and especially in an era where "gay" was still considered sick and deviant by the general population, never mind Dom/sub. i think a lot of dom kids expressed through being bullies, not knowing how else to act?  And i was the constant victim of bullies till i was about 14 or 15. i moved from L.A. at 12 to a tiny resort town where the school only had about 12 boys my age. Every one, except one, bullied me daily, it was awful. i ended up having a crush on the one that didn't bully me.

But i learned to hide my sub nature and by 14 had moved back to L.A. and was mostly left alone.  i became very religious, mostly because i was ashamed about my attraction to guys and thought 'god' would help me change.  

As an adult, i started practicing martial arts and did so for about 25 years, and i know now that was compensatory on my part.  When i started having sex with guys at 27 years old, i was almost always bottom.  After being with >1000 guys, i can count on two hands the number of guys i have topped, and that was long ago.  

It wasn't until i divorced and accepted myself about 15 years ago that i started to understand my sub nature and put the pieces together. That's where a lot of my understanding of why and how i was bullied came in. i realize now, that before i learned how to hide my nature, it was like i had a target painted on my back and of course, the guys i attracted were naturally dom, but immature and as unaware and ignorant of their own nature as i was of mine.  

As an adult, having to work through all the bullying and the scars it left was hard enough. i cannot imagine having to process through rape, especially having a sub nature.  To this day, i still do not respond to bullies. They have the effect of shutting my sub nature down, sending it into hiding. The few who have presumptuously tried to force me physically stopped really fast when i reacted as a martial artist. One guy went from being on top of me to being under me before either of us realized. It was instinct for me, but i could see the shock and fear in his eyes. 

my point is, i am still sub. i have been from as young as i can remember. But my sub nature only opens or responds to a certain type of Dom, and that is definitely not one who feels entitled. Submission is something i give, not something one takes from me, and the dance where that happens is complex and intricate. The physical part of it is there, but pales in comparison to the psychological side of it... for both me and my Dom. 

i think of force, rape, as often being distortions of Dom/sub nature. 

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

because he'd apparently removed the interior handle to open the car door on the passenger side.

There’s nothing suspicious about that at all. 🤨

[tallslenderguy]

17 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

There’s nothing suspicious about that at all. 🤨

Lol, right?  It took awhile, but once it dawned on me, it was in my face. 

[wonderfulwoof]

On 1/24/2021 at 6:38 PM, Phallarchist said:

By "affirmative consent" standards, it's definitely rape. By predominant legal standards, it's arguably rape. But it sounds like some version of a good day for a faggot. Do you actually consider it rape and does it trouble you?

it was hot being used where we could Be  n watched .. I-wanted more. Walled thee  blocks home cum running dowm my leg n slept w  wharf was in my ass

[ronnie4u]

I was with older guys -  having fun - drinking - smoking - getting high - seeing other older guys getting fucked - all the attention - I was leaning and having fun !

One time became several times I was the center of attention - having fun sucking while be fucked - wanting it so badly .

If I was having a GOOD time - is it still Rape ?