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Posted

I am neg, and I have fantasies about being strangle fucked. But there is a big issue... Pre history. I was born and brought up in Central Asian country, where majority of population is Muslims. Being gay or bi is a real risk for life and career. Everythin started when I was a teen. 14-15. I found a straight porn, where guy strangle fucked a blonde. The moans and screams of a girl turned me on. I wanted to be her. In her place feel, what she felt. So I started masturbating. Vanilla first, wasn enough, authoritarian wasn't enough, bdsm wasn't enough, and I came through with strangle, it was so turned on. So fucking hot I lost my mind. I have read so many stories. And then there was a gay snuff sex. So there issue is I really want to be used, but I am afraid that I lose control, it turns me on. But scares too. I don't want to die. But want to be used, strangled and beated. I am gonna travel to US This summer. I really want to meet smone. But scared to meet

Posted (edited)

@ACURBOT95 - Your concern is not meritless. Choking sex is a type of paraphilia, an atypical sexual desire usually involving extreme or dangerous activies. In BDSM circles, any practice in which a submissive’s air supply is limited is referred to as breath control, and it is always inherently dangerous. You need oxygen in order to live. Even if a loss of oxygen doesn’t kill you, prolonged deprivation can cause brain damage, and no orgasm is ever worth that risk.

No responsible Top or Dom should ever asphyxiate a bottom or sub to the point of unconsciousness. (No, you callous sons of bitches, there’s no excuse for it.) The risk of harm is too great. Never, ever allow someone to place a plastic bag over your head. You should never agree to allow another man to go that far with you, and before you begin you should establish a safe signal (a ‘safe word’ won’t work for obvious reasons) for you to use in the event that the scene goes beyond your limit. Once you pass that signal, the Top must stop immediately. If he doesn’t, go for his eyes first.

Although atypical, your sexual interest in being choked is not that uncommon, so don’t feel that you’re somehow unusual for it. Many guys share that paraphilia, both from the giving and receiving end, and you’ll find that expressed here and there on these boards. Do not feel badly about yourself for having these desires, though if they cause you distress, you may wish to consider speaking to a therapist to work out the underlying issues. Otherwise, if you plan to act on your desires, exercise caution, restraint and moderation, do so only with agreed-upon safeguards in place, and do so only with a partner with whom you have established a level of trust.

Your life could depend on it.

Edited by ErosWired
  • Like 1
Posted
1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

@ACURBOT95 - Your concern is not meritless. Choking sex is a type of paraphilia, an atypical sexual desire usually involving extreme or dangerous activies. In BDSM circles, any practice in which a submissive’s air supply is limited is referred to as breath control, and it is always inherently dangerous. You need oxygen in order to live. Even if a loss of oxygen doesn’t kill you, prolonged deprivation can cause brain damage, and no orgasm is ever worth that risk.

No responsible Top or Dom should ever asphyxiate a bottom or sub to the point of unconsciousness. (No, you callous sons of bitches, there’s no excuse for it.) The risk of harm is too great. Never, ever allow someone to place a plastic bag over your head. You should never agree to allow another man to go that far with you, and before you begin you should establish a safe signal (a ‘safe word’ won’t work for obvious reasons) for you to use in the event that the scene goes beyond your limit. Once you pass that signal, the Top must stop immediately. If he doesn’t, go for his eyes first.

Although atypical, your sexual interest in being choked is not that uncommon, so don’t feel that you’re somehow unusual for it. Many guys share that paraphilia, both from the giving and receiving end, and you’ll find that expressed here and there on these boards. Do not feel badly about yourself for having these desires, though if they cause you distress, you may wish to consider speaking to a therapist to work out the underlying issues. Otherwise, if you plan to act on your desires, exercise caution, restraint and moderation, do so only with agreed-upon safeguards in place, and do so only with a partner with whom you have established a level of trust.

Your life could depend on it.

Thanks for Reply, it made me cool from heat and perversions. Beat some sense to my head. Really appreciate it. 

Posted

breath control and subbing and all sorts of stuff are common all over the world. 

here is a classic write up of risks [think before following links] http://www.sasmtx.info/breath.html by jay wisean

tbh I am not sure how alarmist it is. a lot of people do choking. like people who are otherwise vanilla straight etc.. i feel like the only time you hear about deaths is when it's autoerotic (solo). but you'd have to ask the coroner for numbers i guess.

I love face/throat/breath/mouth stuff.  hands around the neck, fingers in the mouth, hand over the mouth. and throat fucked so deep and long.  

Posted
On 2/23/2021 at 8:06 AM, ACURBOT95 said:

I am neg, and I have fantasies about being strangle fucked. But there is a big issue... Pre history. I was born and brought up in Central Asian country, where majority of population is Muslims. Being gay or bi is a real risk for life and career. Everythin started when I was a teen. 14-15. I found a straight porn, where guy strangle fucked a blonde. The moans and screams of a girl turned me on. I wanted to be her. In her place feel, what she felt. So I started masturbating. Vanilla first, wasn enough, authoritarian wasn't enough, bdsm wasn't enough, and I came through with strangle, it was so turned on. So fucking hot I lost my mind. I have read so many stories. And then there was a gay snuff sex. So there issue is I really want to be used, but I am afraid that I lose control, it turns me on. But scares too. I don't want to die. But want to be used, strangled and beated. I am gonna travel to US This summer. I really want to meet smone. But scared to meet

I admit i feel the same way! I have never been stranggled but i see the things men do to women in porn and i want to experience the same and feel the things she does and be treated like she is treated. it excites me to want to experience those same things and situations, yet i too am afraid of consequences, but so wanted, my sex experiences always drive me deeper and deeper into a more dark sexual pleasures as i started with rape, forced sex and now im so want to experience bondage and everything else from being tied, fucked hanging by my feet and stranggled and all this wild sex feelings that i have seen done to women i too want to experience it as well.

Posted
11 hours ago, Yes said:

tbh I am not sure how alarmist it is. a lot of people do choking. like people who are otherwise vanilla straight etc.

To elaborate slightly, yes, breath control covers a wide range of practices and not all of them are as potentially lethal as others. In the case of the OP, however, he indicated  that 1. He was looking for an experience more intense than vanilla or BDSM, 2. He was looking for a situation in which he would not be in control of what was done to him, and 3. He specifically used the word ‘strangle’, which strongly implies physical constriction of the airway.

There is a great deal of difference between a Top who places his hand over your mouth when he fucks you, or even one who throat-fucks you to the point that you feel you can’t breathe, and a Top who fucks you while using the full strength of his hands around your neck to strangle you to the point of unconsciousness. Or using his full arm strength to clamp you in a chokehold around your neck until you pass out while he’s rutting. Or applying his body weight to keep your face buried airless in a pillow. Any of these is an act of irresponsible aggression that carries a pronounced risk. There are predators out there, and the OP writes as though he is contemplating seeking out a potentially dangerous type of this experience. I think caution is warranted, particularly for the uninitiated.

Cautionary tale: I live in a small rural town. Not many people are gay here, and you sure as hell don’t walk down the street with a “We’re Queer And We’re Here” tee-shirt on, but if you keep it to yourself people can look the other way. But if something happens, they will never, ever forget it. There was a druggist, gay, nice guy, well liked, well known. One day he took a trip out of town. Hs body was found a few days later in a hotel room in a city, stuffed inside a suitcase. The town will always remember him as the gay who got in trouble in the city and ended up dead in a suitcase. Sounds like an urban legend, but absolutely true. I don’t know that he was strangled... but he met a predator of some kind.

It really doesn’t matter if ‘a lot of people do it’ - more people doing it doesn’t make it a smart thing to do (having more cops kneeling on suspects’ necks until they suffocate would not somehow make the practice justifiable). It just means more people aren’t thinking it through.

Without a doubt, when mild/moderate choking is performed, many people experience an erotic charge from both the power exchange and from the adrenaline rush. But a To has to know when to let up, a bottom has to know when to signal distress, and both have to have a means of understanding how to communicate non-verbally in that kind of scene.

 

Posted (edited)

I think you have to consider what happens if it goes wrong. Will the other person know what to do? Can you trust them to do it?

Going back a few years (the details are a little hazy) there was a really hot guy known as "Chip" who used to do a strip act around the London bars with a bit of a BDSM flavour.  I met him a couple of times and he was a really lovely guy.  He vanished one day and later I learned he had travelled to the USA to hook up with someone he met with online for a BDSM session that involved breath control. It transpired that during the session something went wrong and he stopped breathing. The guy he was with wasn't paying close attentions and didn't notice for some time... and then panicked when he realised. The panic meant he didn't administer CPR or call emergency services, and the situation became unrecoverable. He ran off leaving chip's body behind. Two days later he took his own life, at which point the investigation revealed what had happened. 

So it does happen. 

I always make sure everyone stays sober and knows what to do if the scene goes wrong, and I have to be confident they'll follow through. Some rando guy from the internet invited to a hotel room I think there is a good chance he'll make a run for it, if it goes wrong. Especially if there are drugs involved. You're trusting someone with your life here - so make sure you know them! 

Edited by AirmaxAndy
  • Like 1

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