Do have boyfriends?

[Pozpunk]

And I’m thinking the whole monogamy idea was a religious invention. Not a humanist one. The guilt and emotional conditioning associated with doing wrong because the church’s instructions are not obeyed. Anyway sorry not trying to get political at all . 

[T-Girl-Cumdumpster]

I have had a few boyfriends who really got off on me being an "escort" and even got into pimping me out themselves, online, in bathhouses and porntheatres. I think they enjoyed it mostly for the dirtiness as they were guys who were into taking me to the baths and watching me take loads all night or taking me from apt to apt to whore my ass out. it was even a boyfriend who got me to start turning more tricks as a t-girl as guys pay more for tranny whores. but one boyfriend just liked it for how dirty it was and would take me to a porntheatre, strip me naked and rent me out to guys for 5 bucks a load in either end. he's also the boyfriend who found me an owner who promised to pimp me out full time. he told me I was actually a hooker cause I was too trashy to be an escort. but I did have a couple boyfriends who weren't into it so I had to be a little sneaky and actually got busted by one of his friends who picked my tranny ass up off the street once with his boyfriend. they were a little surprised but still took me home and fucked me. I still have no idea if they told him. lol

[BootmanLA]

12 hours ago, MuscledHorse said:

Monogamy does work for some, but in my experience that is a minority, if males were given the option, based on the number of married guys I've had sex with. Essentially it is a straight jacket the Xian church forced upon society, when It should be  choice. If sexual monogamy worked so well we should not have the divorce rates and break ups over "cheating" that we see, and we'd be missing half the country music output as well as most of Taylor Swift's catalog. 😉

That may have been how it started, and I'll freely admit it doesn't work for all (and I don't look down on anyone for whom it doesn't, including me). But dismissing it as "only" something Christianity forced on society, when you find it in many other spiritual traditions as well, is as foolish as dismissing it because it's "unnatural". As I note, we do all sorts of things that are "unnatural", including - for most of us - pooping in a small, designated area designed for easy removal of waste. 

The real question is whether it works for the individuals in the context of whatever society they may live in. There are places and times where one would be a social outcast for nonmonogamy, and there are individuals who wouldn't accept anything else in a relationship. Those circumstances and those people deserve as much respect for their way of life as we expect them to show for ours.

[MuscledHorse]

2 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

That may have been how it started, and I'll freely admit it doesn't work for all (and I don't look down on anyone for whom it doesn't, including me). But dismissing it as "only" something Christianity forced on society, when you find it in many other spiritual traditions as well, is as foolish as dismissing it because it's "unnatural". As I note, we do all sorts of things that are "unnatural", including - for most of us - pooping in a small, designated area designed for easy removal of waste. 

The real question is whether it works for the individuals in the context of whatever society they may live in. There are places and times where one would be a social outcast for nonmonogamy, and there are individuals who wouldn't accept anything else in a relationship. Those circumstances and those people deserve as much respect for their way of life as we expect them to show for ours.

Unnatural was probably not the best word choice given Kinsey's definition of it. And while I am aware that other religious traditions, mainly Judaic in origin (Xian, Muslim, Mormon), have sexual monogamy as a check box to their belief system, this is still a human invention that runs counter to the Nature of the male.  Based on and the actions of many males --gay and str8-- playing in the married/seriously dating sandbox I've had sex with says it doesn't really work as well as the religious marketing claims. And again, I also refer to the divorce rate, the better part of the country music catalog from "Your Cheatin' Heart" to "The Thunder Rolls" and most of Taylor Swift's output, all of which demonstrate sexual monogamy isn't as successful as it is marketed to be. Basing the validity of an entire relationship on the willingness not to have sex with anyone else, ever, or everything else about the relationship was totally false, creates a relationship based not in Love, but in perpetual jealousy of and fear of the Other, a proven recipe for disaster. Yes it sexual monogamy does work for some, but i'm willing to bet it's not the majority.

[BootmanLA]

21 hours ago, MuscledHorse said:

Unnatural was probably not the best word choice given Kinsey's definition of it. And while I am aware that other religious traditions, mainly Judaic in origin (Xian, Muslim, Mormon), have sexual monogamy as a check box to their belief system, this is still a human invention that runs counter to the Nature of the male.  Based on and the actions of many males --gay and str8-- playing in the married/seriously dating sandbox I've had sex with says it doesn't really work as well as the religious marketing claims. And again, I also refer to the divorce rate, the better part of the country music catalog from "Your Cheatin' Heart" to "The Thunder Rolls" and most of Taylor Swift's output, all of which demonstrate sexual monogamy isn't as successful as it is marketed to be. Basing the validity of an entire relationship on the willingness not to have sex with anyone else, ever, or everything else about the relationship was totally false, creates a relationship based not in Love, but in perpetual jealousy of and fear of the Other, a proven recipe for disaster. Yes it sexual monogamy does work for some, but i'm willing to bet it's not the majority.

Here's the thing: You acknowledge "unnatural" is not the right word, but then retreat right back to it when talking about the "Nature of the male". I'm not disputing that biologically, we probably have inherited (from our more primitive antecedent species) a predisposition to mate widely so as to spread our genes. My point is that we go against our "natural" instincts all the time, for the sake of harmony with our fellow humans. We eat in most societies with utensils, be it a fork, spoon, or chopsticks, not by grabbing food out of a pot with our bare hands. For that matter, cooking food, itself, is entirely a human adaptation against our "natures". We soften food for our young by mechanical means, not by chewing it up and spitting it out for them. We poop in toilets rather than a corner in our room or in the back yard. We do these things not just for ourselves but to make living with other people possible, too. So saying it's contrary to nature doesn't tell us anything about whether it's good or bad, given how many OTHER things contrary to nature we accept as standard.

Sexual monogamy is another one of those adaptations humans made. It's arguable WHY we adopted (in large measure; certainly there's never been 100% compliance, and variations like one man/many wives have long existed) that practice. But blaming it on Christian (or Judeo-Christian) religion isn't entirely fair. Buddha himself was a monogamist and while he did not declare it the only acceptable option, he recommended in general against multiple partners. Native American tribes had a wide variety of practices with respect to pair-bonding (since most did not have any formal marriage rites), but serial monogamy was not an uncommon thing and variations on that most often took the "poly" route as opposed to the "sleep around while also having a spouse" route. 

Finally, I'm not saying anyone should "base the validity of an entire relationship on the willingness not to have sex with anyone else, ever." I'm saying that people who prefer a more open situation should do so, without feeling the need to denigrate those who have chosen something more restrictive as suitable for themselves as "unnatural" or insisting they're basing the relationship on control and jealousy. I never suggested or even hinted that sexual monogamy works for all, or the majority. I just don't see why so many people who demand that others respect their choice NOT to be monogamous can't pay the same courtesy without the snide asshole comments about those who DO choose it.

[evilalex]

Didn't the LDS church teach polygamy until the US outlawed it? That's why the fundamentalist lds groups are mostly polygamous. A lot of the patriarchs in Judaism were certainly not monogamous. There's no such thing as "traditional marriage" found in the bible imo. I would hate trying to be monogamous. I think I want sexual freedom with emotional monogamy, if that makes sense. Some monogamous gays I know are *super* judgemental. Like damn dude, I don't judge you for being sexually boring...

 

[gwmxyz]

Of course - an escort can do anything that an accountant can do so why should it matter? Two of my longest standing and most regular FBs are - or at some point were - escorts, as it happens both trannies. I''d go out with either like a shot, other than with a wife and bf already, it might look a bit silly/greedy/indecisive. What I can't see being an issue is if they weren't much help with the tax return.  A useful skill, obviously, but not really central to the relationship. 
Call it vanity, but your reason for escorts being a good thing, is exactly my problem with it. It doesn't work if they are not into me. Thankfully, they were off duty (or decided to give something back) when they answered my, er slightly slutty CL post - so no worries on that front.    In theory that would also be the problem with the straight guy - if I thought he was really straight.  Only if spent all day filling teeth, I'd find it hard not to suspect he was a dentist .
What definitely doesn't work is for an escort or ex-escort to whom monogamy does not appeal to have a super-jealous boyfriend (to whom it does) and a slightly stupid fuckbuddy who is crap at the whole subterfuge thing. That one goes very predictably wrong.

I mean I know the suspicious always find what they are looking for - just not quite as easily as that.

[chipygmalion80]

On 6/1/2021 at 12:11 PM, Sharp-edge said:

I was curious. Is it possible for an escort to have a boyfriend?

Yes, a slutty friend of mine who has clients has also been married to his hubby for 6 years.

Don't mix biz with personal life.

[polyglutton]

I had a boyfriend who was an escort. We met one night on Scruff and had great sex.
 

I kept coming back each night and after a week he told me he was an escort. I was already into polyamory so this wasn't an issue for me (I don't do jealousy or possessiveness).

I never asked him about the sex he had with his clients, though one time he had a disturbing time with a high-paying client who turned out to be a scary tweaker. It's not easy to fear for the safety of someone dear. 
 

He was 27 (I was 35) and he was a marvel of stamina, he fucked me 2-3x a day daily for the three months we were together with a pretty long dick. I was in piggy heaven and we cuddled a lot. I loved always having his cum inside me at all times, and when he came I could feel him cum because the fit was so tight and deep. 

His escorting had nothing to do with why the relationship ended. 

[polyglutton]

On 6/7/2021 at 2:24 AM, Pozpunkcumdumpster said:

And I’m thinking the whole monogamy idea was a religious invention. Not a humanist one. The guilt and emotional conditioning associated with doing wrong because the church’s instructions are not obeyed. Anyway sorry not trying to get political at all . 

I'd argue it's a patriarchal invention (ownership and control of women). There are a fair number of religions that are open to polygamy or non-monogamy.

[PupLucca]

I have a husband and we have a few boyfriends as we are poly

[wuffstuff]

21 minutes ago, PupLucca said:

I have a husband and we have a few boyfriends as we are poly

Lucky guys

[120DaysofSodom]

On 6/1/2021 at 1:11 PM, Sharp-edge said:

I was curious. Is it possible for an escort to have a boyfriend? I mean in terms of looks, i suppose an escort should have the package, but don't we tend to be posessive even if it's just a little? I was wondering about the emotional impact that this could have on them. Using sex for money (which i think it's useful because it allows people to have sex even iff they are not attractive) doesn't make the whole sex for pleasure thing vanish? On the other hand, if they do have a bf, i suppose he would be someone [banned word] (maybe me) who would think that it's kinda twisted (but in an intriguing way) who would ask them how does it feel and what they do. Or even further to that, they would make paid videos together.. sothe whole thing is, can an escort have a bf like the other people? Without being someone's fetish? And a bonus question. Can a straight guy be an escort for guys? But i mean being professional at the same time. Not reading "i hate it but money talks" on his body.

When I was with my first partner that I was together with for 9 years, not only did we both work in porn (Kyros Christian & Dillon Samuels), but I was also an escort. We were open, we had great communication, and we understood each other completely. Actually, it was the most meaningful and wholesome relationship I ever had. Sex for pleasure I think vanishes for most couples because obviously we become bored with repetition and doing the same thing over and over again. That isnt to say you wont find pleasure in fucking each other years later, but there are other more beautiful things to look forward to with your companion in the years that pass than sex with them. Companionship is hard to find. Sex is easy to find.

[AirmaxUK]

5 hours ago, TwinkFoot said:

Companionship is hard to find. Sex is easy to find.

This is why I have always separated relationships and sex and although sex can be addictive at times, it is never prioritised over my relationship. 

 

[Chrisb]

Sex is easy to find relationships are hard to come by