Bottoms outnumbering tops

[atlfukbud]

When I logon to BBRT things have picked up significantly -- I can usually get 3 loads a night minimum, but not until after midnight to 3 am (ATL) -- the interesting change is lots of men are asking for loaded and loose holes. Several have said flat out that they will not put their dick in a hole with less than 3 loads in it - - WOW!

[LetsPOZBreed]

It's a time-old issue.  The apps and websites only put it front-and-centre.  It's not like we walk around our respective cities with our position preferences plastered on our bodies (well, not all of us, anyway....).  If we were purely dependent on finding mates in public, then we'd resort to just asking - only to find the statistics about the same as our online experiences.

Interestingly, if you do a search by position on the apps or websites, you'll find that there are more guys who list themselves as "versatile" than any other position...but then when you try and chat them up, all they want to talk about is getting fucked.  

As to WHY this may be the case?  That's a loaded question (no puns intended).  There's countless older threads that address this topic.

[Menbendovr]

I always thought that an exclusive Top never existed or at least the concept of such a person should not exist because I think any "exclusive" Top would switch to be versatile once he got fucked.  I think guys who are exclusive tops never got past the pain of their first penetration and let it build a barrier to ever being fucked again.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that there would be no Tops only out there if the all got fucked and got past the first time that can be awkward or painful.  The pleasure of getting fucked is just so beautiful that you want it all the time.  Then you got to return the favor to another man as you know how good it feels and you want to please him like that from time to time.  We should ideally be in an all versatile gay community.

[ErosWired]

15 minutes ago, Menbendovr said:

I always thought that an exclusive Top never existed or at least the concept of such a person should not exist because I think any "exclusive" Top would switch to be versatile once he got fucked.  I think guys who are exclusive tops never got past the pain of their first penetration and let it build a barrier to ever being fucked again. 

Your notion assumes that all men approach sex with other men with the same mindset - to enjoy a certain kind of physical pleasure and to have a positive desire that the other person has an equitable experience. This is not, however, always the case.

Tops have many reasons for Topping. Some may, as you say, have tried bottoming and disliked it. That doesn’t mean they got it wrong and would realize their error if they did it the right way - it might just not be their thing. Receptive intercourse does not, frankly, square with some men’s parameters for their own masculinity, and nothing is going to change that. Other Tops do it for the aggressive pleasure of power and control - it is an outlet for an aspect of their personality - a source of psychological satisfaction quite aside from the physical pleasure it provides.

Likewise, there are bottoms who simply are not suited for flipping. I am one if them. I have tried. I lack the instinct and drive required to remain penetrative. I don’t suffer from ED - I just don’t have any Top in me. My cock must not be wired for it, because ass doesn’t feel as good to me as it apparently does to the Tops whose eyes roll back in their heads while they’re fucking mine.

I’ve always understood that there were more bottoms, and that I would have competition for available cock. I don’t worry about it. I just throw myself out there and be my genuine self, average and a little clueless, and take what comes. I get fucked plenty. If I can help two other guys hook up, I do that, because everyone should get to fuck and everyone needs a wingman now and then. (I think it would be fun to be a concierge at a brothel - but that’s basically a job at a bathhouse, isn’t it? Note to self.)

[NWUSHorny]

2 hours ago, atlfukbud said:

When I logon to BBRT things have picked up significantly -- I can usually get 3 loads a night minimum, but not until after midnight to 3 am (ATL) -- the interesting change is lots of men are asking for loaded and loose holes. Several have said flat out that they will not put their dick in a hole with less than 3 loads in it - - WOW!

That was happening at the bathhouse I go to before the pandemic, I really think it was mostly just an excuse.  Even when I obviously had a couple load in me most of them either couldn't get hard or found another excuse.  The same happens with bottoms, usual after I've spent an hour or more getting them ready, they find an excuse to not get fucked.

[hungry_hole]

It is true that there is a lot of competition for bottoms with so many around at the sauna or the Apps. But I think that the chances for hooking up depends also on the bottom himself.

Most slutty take-all loads bottoms are older, I guess because younger guys sometimes don't have the guts until later in life. But young in-shape guys, or masculine-looking bottoms, definitely have more chances of getting fucked than a 60 yr old. I've even heard of total bottoms who would fuck and breed a nice young hole.

I started bottoming bareback in my 20's and I don't remember having problems finding cock. One of the places I used to cruise for sex was the YMCA in NYC, where it was action 24 hours. But I was young and already a slutty bottom.

[Close2MyBro]

There are a lot more bottoms than tops now than before. I blame a lot of it on meth. A lot of guys can't get it hard or can't keep it hard, or they just don't want to do the "work" involved in topping. I'm old enough to remember years ago when it was almost impossible to find a black or latin bottom, and now it seems you can't find a black or latin top.

[chipygmalion80]

12 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

I blame a lot of it on meth.

No, I blame it on being a picky bottom.

Here's what I typically see demanded online:

"8+ or go away"

"BBC only"

"Must be fit/musc"

"Nobody over 35"

et cetera.

Well damn guys, you've excluded a huge piece of the Top population!

Maybe try this for a tag line:

"Total slut btm.  Bring your hard dick."

😛

[alwaysready]

most places, it is a buyer's market for tops

 

[bbzh]

Could it be possible that the apps themselves are playing a role here? I know some of them limit how many guys you can see if you don't pay for a monthly subscription. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that non-paying (bottoms) are not seeing what paying bottoms are seeing. Is this a possibility? If not, I'll see myself out for asking such a dumb question. 😂  

[Brittain02]

I think it's important to separate bottoms vs those that fantasize about being a bottom. A lot more of the latter and not as many as the former.

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, Brittain02 said:

I think it's important to separate bottoms vs those that fantasize about being a bottom. A lot more of the latter and not as many as the former.

I think in turn, that depends on how you define those terms. Are you saying certain "bottoms" aren't really bottoms because.... why? Because they don't take loads from strangers, because they don't accept anyone who wants to fuck them regardless of <fill in the blank>, because they limit themselves in some other fashion?

That doesn't make them non-bottoms or "those that fantasize about being a bottom".

I may be completely misreading what you're getting at here, but it sounds to me like you are discounting a lot of bottoms as "not really" bottoms, for some reason.

[ErosWired]

14 hours ago, Brittain02 said:

I think it's important to separate bottoms vs those that fantasize about being a bottom. A lot more of the latter and not as many as the former.

I think there’s some truth in this. The more time passes and the more I interact with men in the prospect of looking for actual physical encounters where real sex takes place, the more I become convinced that a sizable percentage of men aren’t actually players in the sexual arena. In spite of what many say, I think many shrink away from taking the final step toward an encounter when it finally comes to it - the common expressions of “wish that was me” are often, I suspect, the words of men who could have, but didn’t.

It’s not all that surprising - It usually takes a certain kind of courage to make oneself so vulnerable to another man and allow him to connect so intimately. Not everybody is brave enough to do it, or they’re repressed in some way that “if it weren’t for that” they would be sexually active, but as it is they just fantasize, fap, and brag about entirely fictional adventures they wish they had the balls to actually experience.

So yes, the roll call of bottoms is large - but the roll call of practicing bottoms is a significantly smaller subset of that. In any case, we certainly can’t credit the anecdotal claims on this site as representing an accurate picture of what men do. If, for example, one were to ask how many men have taken a ten-inch cock in the last week, one would almost certainly get a collective answer that is mathematically impossible given the actual statistical rarity of such schlongs - there simply aren’t enough supersized cocks on the planet to supply fuck at the rate men claim here. Likewise, I suspect that a proportion of the competition for cock that many bottoms claim to present exists only in their minds.

[Littlebill77]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

I think there’s some truth in this. The more time passes and the more I interact with men in the prospect of looking for actual physical encounters where real sex takes place, the more I become convinced that a sizable percentage of men aren’t actually players in the sexual arena. In spite of what many say, I think many shrink away from taking the final step toward an encounter when it finally comes to it - the common expressions of “wish that was me” are often, I suspect, the words of men who could have, but didn’t.

It’s not all that surprising - It usually takes a certain kind of courage to make oneself so vulnerable to another man and allow him to connect so intimately. Not everybody is brave enough to do it, or they’re repressed in some way that “if it weren’t for that” they would be sexually active, but as it is they just fantasize, fap, and brag about entirely fictional adventures they wish they had the balls to actually experience.

So yes, the roll call of bottoms is large - but the roll call of practicing bottoms is a significantly smaller subset of that. In any case, we certainly can’t credit the anecdotal claims on this site as representing an accurate picture of what men do. If, for example, one were to ask how many men have taken a ten-inch cock in the last week, one would almost certainly get a collective answer that is mathematically impossible given the actual statistical rarity of such schlongs - there simply aren’t enough supersized cocks on the planet to supply fuck at the rate men claim here. Likewise, I suspect that a proportion of the competition for cock that many bottoms claim to present exists only in their minds.

Really interesting.

 

I expect COVID isolation and so forth has caused such a drought for socialising that this is triggering weirdness 

certainly found a recent sauna experience was dreadful whereas a stint in a popular spot in the great outdoors was a blast.  I wonder if it is a recent phenomenon that - fingers crossed - we can all resume ASAP with the fucking….

 

I hope so

[NWUSHorny]

6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I think there’s some truth in this. The more time passes and the more I interact with men in the prospect of looking for actual physical encounters where real sex takes place, the more I become convinced that a sizable percentage of men aren’t actually players in the sexual arena. In spite of what many say, I think many shrink away from taking the final step toward an encounter when it finally comes to it - the common expressions of “wish that was me” are often, I suspect, the words of men who could have, but didn’t.

It’s not all that surprising - It usually takes a certain kind of courage to make oneself so vulnerable to another man and allow him to connect so intimately. Not everybody is brave enough to do it, or they’re repressed in some way that “if it weren’t for that” they would be sexually active, but as it is they just fantasize, fap, and brag about entirely fictional adventures they wish they had the balls to actually experience.

So yes, the roll call of bottoms is large - but the roll call of practicing bottoms is a significantly smaller subset of that. In any case, we certainly can’t credit the anecdotal claims on this site as representing an accurate picture of what men do. If, for example, one were to ask how many men have taken a ten-inch cock in the last week, one would almost certainly get a collective answer that is mathematically impossible given the actual statistical rarity of such schlongs - there simply aren’t enough supersized cocks on the planet to supply fuck at the rate men claim here. Likewise, I suspect that a proportion of the competition for cock that many bottoms claim to present exists only in their minds.

I can agree with most of this, the number of practicing sluts (both top and bottom) is much lower than represented on the apps or anywhere else.  My anecdotal evidence that there are a lot more bottoms than tops, comes from 30+ years of being a fully versatile practicing slut.  My top to bottom ratio over time has to be at least 4:1,  ironically my post pandemic ratio is 3:4.  I was actually griping about a lack of practicing bottoms here last week.  I'm always griping about a lack of actual fucking, but have to acknowledge the number of people I've had penetrative sex with in the short 3 weeks of my post-pandemic sex life exceeds what many people will have in there lifetime.

As someone who travels and has lived multiple places, I can assure you that some places are better or worse than others and that it has almost no correlation to whether it is a densely or sparsely populated area.

My recommendation would be to learn where you can find close to the amount of sex to meet your desires and either move there or visit them often. Personally I'm hoping to visit at least one of mine in the next month.