I think i'm fed up of bottoms

[Guest]

On 9/25/2021 at 3:38 PM, Sharp-edge said:

My problem is that some

Let me first say, I apologize if I ever was in your presence and made you feel that way.

I apologize because I know that feeling. It's the feeling when the Top through Vrs/bttm shake my hand to introduce themselves and the next think I know is I have a grown man nursing at my dick before I can ask them if they want something to drink.

"Hold hold on. Can we at least go upstairs?"

And once upstairs I have to quickly find someplace comfortable to sit, or comfortable to stand, because the guy below looks like an Airforce Jet trying to refuel, just sucking that long refueling line.

"You have such a nice cock." -
"Thanks. There's a Guest book by the front door. Feel free to let others know."

As a bottom I'm irked because the sucking always turns into the question "Will you fuck me?"

...Wait wasn't I the bottom and you told me you were a top. Am I being Punk'd? Ashton are you here?...

Over worshiping a mans cock, to me at least, does not make a good visual that you're a top, you're more a bottom in a Top Coat.

 

[NWUSHorny]

3 hours ago, blackrobe said:

All the Washington State Twitter users I follow are butt-fucking and being butt-fucked in their content so, I'm not seeing what they are seeing and we have anecdotal data that directly rebuts the claim. That said, I think sex acts in Twitter porn content is a terrible measure of what people are *actually* doing. The best way to figure out if there's anything here is to find out what people say they want, and what they end up actually giving and getting.

My complaint is the amount of time and effort it takes in the PNW versus other places I have lived and traveled to. If you check my feed and posts here, you would see that I am fucking and getting fucked here in the PNW as well.

I'll even be fair and admit I have bred 3 different guys, and been bred 4 times by 3 different guys so far this year, all without traveling outside the Portland area. While I haven't had a chance to test the hypothesis since the pandemic started, but before that I could have easily exceeded that in other similar sized cities and had time to do other things I like doing.

[leatherpunk16]

When I first got to Washington, I was getting a LOT of ass. In the first three months, I had sex with at least seven guys. That's kind of a big number for me. But when the calendar changed to 2021, it all stopped. I didn't get lucky again until mid-April, and last year's numbers were low. Despite my best efforts, it just didn't happen. I found that a lot of guys who could have been partners did not meet my standards. 

If he's a drug user or just gross or a hassle, my interest drops to a nil. Also, trying to be a porn star and stick to other guys who are also performers narrows the list of possibilities considerably. 

Do I need to lower my standards? Because when I do, I have a bad time. I don't even find decent guys to date, and when I do, that's the only time I ever see them. So maybe I'm connection-driven, and sex is secondary. But for MY part, I have not found willing sex partners in the PNW. Not many. Unless I lower my standards or be a whore at the bathhouse (which I never go to). 

[ErosWired]

19 hours ago, StickyWetHole said:

Let me first say, I apologize if I ever was in your presence and made you feel that way.

I apologize because I know that feeling. It's the feeling when the Top through Vrs/bttm shake my hand to introduce themselves and the next think I know is I have a grown man nursing at my dick before I can ask them if they want something to drink.

"Hold hold on. Can we at least go upstairs?"

And once upstairs I have to quickly find someplace comfortable to sit, or comfortable to stand, because the guy below looks like an Airforce Jet trying to refuel, just sucking that long refueling line.

"You have such a nice cock." -
"Thanks. There's a Guest book by the front door. Feel free to let others know."

As a bottom I'm irked because the sucking always turns into the question "Will you fuck me?"

...Wait wasn't I the bottom and you told me you were a top. Am I being Punk'd? Ashton are you here?...

Over worshiping a mans cock, to me at least, does not make a good visual that you're a top, you're more a bottom in a Top Coat.

 

Well… to be fair, if you’re going to go around openly displaying that obviously very nice cock, there’s a limit to how surprised you can be if you draw cock-hounds. It’s like leaving an overripe banana on the counter and then saying, “I can’t figure out why I can’t get rid of all these fruit flies.” Candidly, if I were ti see that in the flesh, my initial response would be “Yes, please,” not “I wonder if he Tops?”

When I’m at full mast, I’m 7”. It’s a nuisance. Plus, when you add in my ampallang cockhead piercing, they will not leave it alone. So when I’m in service mode I often try to minimize the distraction by wearing a cock cage, a jock, or just keeping my bathhouse towel strategically positioned. (Not that that stops them - I was once reclining in s steamroom with my towel over my cock, eyes closed, and the next thing I knew some guy came over and without a word just lifted up the towel for an inspection. (!)

[tallslenderguy]

On 9/26/2021 at 9:17 AM, Sharp-edge said:

You gotta crave all of me or we can't have sex.

Great topic, thanks for putting it out there Sharp-edge.

i have been a lifelong cum dump, if You have a need to breed, i have a reciprocal need to be bred. i'd say 90% of my sex life with men has been anonymous seed and go. But it's never been my ideal.  my attempts to have a ltr relationship have never been reciprocated, and that is not for lack of trying.

 i compromise with hook up sex, but it's never been my ideal, i'm ridiculously romantic, which may be what scares guys away, idk. i have to hold back because it seems i seem to do nothing but scare guys away when i try to get to know them. i have not found many guys who want an in depth emotional/psychological connection, or who want to put in the work to have one, so i just shut up and bend over. Which is better than nothing. No, honestly, it can be awesome to receive a mans desire and pleasure, but i am so aware that it could be even more, so it frustrates me. 

It's not just a bottom phenomena, i look for compatibility in relationship because i think that is what sustains a relationship. Read my profiles on dating sites, and i go into great detail about this. IOW, i think if the "craving" is mutual, the relationship is symbiotic and sustainable vs quid pro quo, which i think is not. 

Something i put in all my profiles on ltr type sites is i think a Mans "cock" goes way beyond the organ between His legs, that it is His nature and an intrinsic part of His whole being... and that's true about me too as a bottom.

i'd rather go without sex if the Top i am with doesn't want me as much as i want them, the challenge i have is not many guys want to explore depth in relationship, and i think we miss out because of that. 

[badubydo]

There are some tops that fuck me where it’s a pump and dump. I come in strip, they are hard. We fuck, they come I go. 
 

sometimes I get on my knees and worship their cock for a bit. 
 

Once I know a top more, we can delve into longer sessions if he likes. One guy will stand behind me and kiss my neck, feel up my body. Then we move to the bed in which case he fingers me (he’s thick, I’m tight) and kisses all around my ass. It drives me fucking wild. 
 

for me it just depends on the guy, and the connection we have. 

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Something i put in all my profiles on ltr type sites is i think a Mans "cock" goes way beyond the organ between His legs, that it is His nature and an intrinsic part of His whole being... and that's true about me too as a bottom.

Interestingly, when I was much more involved in the scene as a bondage submissive, the encounters I had were rarely short, in-and-done affairs, and many times I ended up not being fucked at all, because that wasn’t the Dominant’s principal driving interest.

In those sorts of encounters, even if it’s only one time, both men end up spending a significant amount of the time learning about each other. In many cases that’s the Dom’s delight, finding out enough about the sub to be able to get inside his head and exercise control. For submissives, there’s a desire to understand the mind that Dominates, so as to better respond and savor that response. Were it not for the reciprocity, the scene could not develop and the power exchange could not occur.

Yet these encounters are not relationship or dating-type intimacy (though they may take place within such context); neither do they have the quality of an anonymous hookup, even though it could be an anonymous, one-time scene.

An interesting middle area, perhaps.

[hntnhole]

44 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

In many cases that’s the Dom’s delight, finding out enough about the sub to be able to get inside his head and exercise control.

Thanks for the reply.  I think that - for once - you may have missed one possible quotient of the scene.  Yes, in many cases, the delight of exercising mental as well as physical control is the singular goal. However, it is also the case that the Dom may very well want to "get inside the head" of the sub, so as to enable the Dom to deliver the best possible experience.  Some of that is taken care of via the negotiation of course, but when there's some level of attraction in addition to the merely sexual one, it would hardly be out of character for the Dom to want the sub to enjoy an especially magnificent experience.  True, some Doms are walking, talking, predatory Cocks.  But not all.

The "exchange", by definition, cannot be only one-sided, and be complete.

[LetsPOZBreed]

On 1/4/2022 at 10:06 PM, ErosWired said:

So when I’m in service mode I often try to minimize the distraction by wearing a cock cage, a jock, or just keeping my bathhouse towel strategically positioned. (Not that that stops them - I was once reclining in s steamroom with my towel over my cock, eyes closed, and the next thing I knew some guy came over and without a word just lifted up the towel for an inspection. (!)

I've had this happen too.  When I would go to the cruise spots/sauna/sex clubs, I would always wear a pair of ass-less underwear.  Fits tighter than a jockstrap, so it makes  it more difficult for those wanting to reach in and try and pull my cock out.  There'd be enough fiddling around on their part that my arm would go straight for their hand and pull it away.  I'm not even massively hung, (instead, I'm pretty average size), and when in bottom-mode I'm rarely even hard at all - just don't see what would be calling out to someone saying "I should pull his cock out".  

 

[ErosWired]

50 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Thanks for the reply.  I think that - for once - you may have missed one possible quotient of the scene.  Yes, in many cases, the delight of exercising mental as well as physical control is the singular goal. However, it is also the case that the Dom may very well want to "get inside the head" of the sub, so as to enable the Dom to deliver the best possible experience.

I don’t at all doubt that that is often the case; my personal experience, however, has largely been that of being in the hands of Dominants who wished to enable me to receive the best possible (read: most thorough and extensive) experience of humiliation, debasement, degradation and torture. I don’t say that to characterize them all as villains - they haven’t been - but there is a reason they were looking for a submissive man like me willing to permit them to indulge in their predilections: They have an appetite to satiate.

Without any doubt, each of them wished for me to have an unforgettable experience at his hands. Most of them succeeded. “Unforgettable” doesn’t necessarily mean “pleasant”. Still, I continued to make myself available to such men. The nature of the interaction, while hardly gentle or benign, offered some quality of reward for me at some deep level that I still yet cannot fully describe. And it still does.

[chaserslut]

If I'm hooking up through an app or cruising I want quick dirty sex, I'm not there for a romantic meal and a conversation.

I wouldn't even know where to go looking for those things where I live, but thankfully it's not for me anyway.

[BBBxCumDumpster]

I find this  post baffling. Are we to believe that this quality you complain about is exclusive to bottoms? As we say in NYC, FOH.

Bottoms, how many times have you been asked to be ass up and face down? How many times have you been reduced to some cartoonish body part? 

If anything, this is a part of the bareback culture, and like barebacking itself,  it has its time and place. You wanna get to know me and for me to know you?  Let's go on a date.  If you want a hot piece of ass from a bitch in heat, call me.  I might be in the mood.

[backdoorjimmy]

On 9/25/2021 at 3:38 PM, Sharp-edge said:

So, I'm mostly top. I have taken some dick but i'm mostly into fucking. My problem is that some btms are insatiable and only think of my dick (which is good, i admit it). But come on, i'm into men, not intestines. I'm turned on by a nice guy, not from his parts seperately. I need time to admire the guy that i will fuck. I need to hug him kiss him, lick his body and after some time (when i'm fully hard) to fuck him. I hate this rush. Come on let's fuck now. What? you're on ur job? can't you just leave everything and come to my place and then come back? can i be naked and when u come inside just fuck me? I dont like all these. I dont like it to be hollow. I need time.

When I unpack your post, it seems like you're saying you want passionate sex, not just a pump and dump. Is that right?

I enjoy men for everything they bring to the bedroom and beyond. I love running my fingers through the fur on his chest and belly. I love feeling his hot breath in my ear or on my neck. I love the skin to skin contact with a man while we're kissing or while he's inside me.

But I think the coin has two sides here - as someone else mentioned, there are a lot of tops who are there to bust a nut, then dip out. In fact, there are a lot of tops who won't even let a bottom kiss them. And even though I put it in my grindr and scruff profiles that I want to kiss, a lot of guys will hit me up anyway, knowing they'll never let me get close to their mouth with mine.

So honestly, the best thing to do is to end the hookup if they aren't meeting all your needs. I've done it before - I recently had a guy tell me he would withdraw consent after I tried to move in for a kiss. So I got dressed and left. It's awkward, but your preferences are yours, and you have the right to have them respected.

[JamesL100]

39 minutes ago, backdoorjimmy said:

So honestly, the best thing to do is to end the hookup if they aren't meeting all your needs. [..] but your preferences are yours, and you have the right to have them respected.

Surely flexibility is needed and if some/most of your needs are being met then enjoy the sex?
Yes there are the matter of red lines and compatibility when deciding if you want to start/proceed/end the session.
I've hardly ever had ALL my needs met from one guy!

[backdoorjimmy]

24 minutes ago, JamesL100 said:

Surely flexibility is needed and if some/most of your needs are being met then enjoy the sex?
Yes there are the matter of red lines and compatibility when deciding if you want to start/proceed/end the session.
I've hardly ever had ALL my needs met from one guy!

Great point, and I agree with you. I worded my post poorly - what I should have said was, if your must haves aren't available, the best thing to do is end the hookup.