Some thoughts I need to share about sex

[Sharp-edge]

I always thought that fingering is necessary, but i really prefer licking/lub and sticking my dick inside.

About the way that I fuck, am I supposed to wait his asshole relax or I just fuck him the way I want and he will find it on the way? Is this selfish, stupid, arrogant or maybe kinky?

I really like shorter people is this a fetish?

[tallslenderguy]

7 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

I always thought that fingering is necessary, but i really prefer licking/lub and sticking my dick inside.

About the way that I fuck, am I supposed to wait his asshole relax or I just fuck him the way I want and he will find it on the way? Is this selfish, stupid, arrogant or maybe kinky?

I really like shorter people is this a fetish?

i think that, even though we tend to fit loosely and identify i groups, sex is ultimately individual. 

i don't think it's "selfish" to have a specific desire or need, that is universal reality.  i think selfishness is forcing Your desire on another without considering them and their desire/need.  

Read the threads on BZ long enough and You will find bottoms who "prefer [You] licking/lub and sticking [Your] dick inside."  You will also find those who want/need You to finger and open them first. If it's a central or important factor for You, i suggest You put info like that in Your profile when looking for sex.  

Same with shorter people.  i think there are many things we will never figure out or understand about how we are wired sexually, so to me it's about learning how to live with who and how we are in the best way we can. Sex involves a partner/s. For me, sex is about connecting with another human being. That's not true for everyone, for some, it's just about using another for their pleasure. Personally, i look for symbiosis, where there is mutual benefit vs exploitation. i fucking love the times, that almost seem magical to me, when i connect with a Man and for a time it's like we are one. i want to facilitate and nurture that dynamic, so communication is important to me and the process.

 The more specific needs/desires you have/express, the quantity goes down, but i think the 'quality' goes up. And, the "quantity' may be negligible depending on the need. E.g., i think most bottoms are gonna be fine with lick and stick and would prefer it over no sex at all. The quality may not be a great, but sometimes fast food will suffice when there's not a gourmet meal to be found. 

[ErosWired]

1. Please by all means disabuse yourself of  the idea that you must finger. I, for one, vastly prefer not to be fingered. There was a whole topic ip recently about fingering - search it out, you might find it helpful.

2. This is a harder question. Generally speaking, my approach is that the entire exercise is to satisfy the Top’s pleasures, and I do not presume to restrict his approach. Just last night two separate Tops independently brutalized my cunt with a large dildo as hard, fast and deep as they could make it go until they were practically churning my insides with it. I took it, of course, because it pleased them. The downside, however, is that afterward I probably wasn’t able to be as internally responsive to their actual fucking.

Similarly, on occasion if a Top penetrates me too hard and fast, my anus will spasm; when it happens, I usually ask the Top ti pull out for a quick count of five until the spasm passes, then I’m good to go. If he doesn’t, I may find myself tightened up for a while, and he may enjoy his fuck less.

Which is all to say you should simply weigh the benefits and deficits of accommodating the bottom, as to how they align with your goals. (This equation may be different for a committed relationship where you wish to nurture the other person.)

3. I wouldn’t say a fetish so much as a matter of personal taste, and there’s no accounting for that. Now, if your sexual attraction ran solely to midgets, that might be a different matter.

[Bokkierob]

I prefer not to finger my bottom's ass before I fuck him. If I think he can handle it I like him to suck my helmet to get it wet but keep my shaft dry for extra friction so I can thrust in to him hard and fuck him ruff. If I don't think he's up for a hard fuck or inexperienced then I'll lube my cock and slide in. Yeah I'm a 6' 3" bear and I totally get off on fucking much shorter guys.

[LetsPOZBreed]

I don't mind being fingered, but I'm checking fingernails before letting that happen.  I've had instances in the past where a rather unmanicured fingernail has made the whole thing painful, and it ruined the entire experience.

Honestly, every bottom is different when it comes to if they want you to let them relax around you or not.  Personally, if you're a newer top for me, then I want you to let me guide you inside me...once you're at a certain point, then you can take over.  As I get to know a top over more sessions, though, I let him take that control from the get-go since he has a better idea of what sets me off.

I wouldn't call shorter people a fetish, but how short are we talking, here?  I'm over 6' tall, so most people are shorter than me 😄 

[11bi11guy]

3 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

I always thought that fingering is necessary, but i really prefer licking/lub and sticking my dick inside.

About the way that I fuck, am I supposed to wait his asshole relax or I just fuck him the way I want and he will find it on the way? Is this selfish, stupid, arrogant or maybe kinky?

I really like shorter people is this a fetish?

Personally, I hate being fingered. Finger and tongue around the outside? Great. Tongue-fuck my hole? Love it. But please no fingers inside my hole.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

I always thought that fingering is necessary, but i really prefer licking/lub and sticking my dick inside

I agree that in many circumstances there is a bit of necessary "checking things out" to see how ready the bottom is.  Obviously, if he's been taking loads for hours, no need to bother with that, but if you're his first Cock of the night, consider his level of comfort too.  I know some guys just walk up to a Hole and ram it home, but - that seems a bit too much to expect without any prior discussion.  The bottom's experience counts too.  I prefer natural "lube" to commercial products, that being either my saliva or loads off previous Cocks.  If neither of those seem to be the case, at least wet your finger before the exploration.  

 

6 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Is this selfish, stupid, arrogant or maybe kinky?

Yes, possibly, probably, and no.

I don't see anything odd about being attracted to shorter men than you.  We all have our preferences, of course - and that (as stated) wouldn't qualify as a "fetish" in my book (unless your attraction would be to minors that haven't grown up yet).  My own preference is to mouth-lube a Hole, preferably pre-loaded - which I suppose would definitely qualify as a fetish.

It looks like I'm replying to tallslenderguy's response - when I was trying to respond to Sharp-edge's question.  Highlighted the wrong area, I guess.  My apologies.

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, Bokkierob said:

Yeah I'm a 6' 3" bear and I totally get off on fucking much shorter guys.

It’s good that you get off on fucking shorter guys, because at 6’3”, it would suck for you if you didn’t. Who would you fuck?

[Ieatcumholes]

Decades ago when I was a bottom, one guy disabused me from being fingered. I swear it felt like he was doing a goosestep in my hole with his two fingers. Hated it! But the sex was pretty good. As a top I don't finger cause my nails aren't always trimmed. (Plus I'd rather use my tongue to get the bottom ready.)

When I was a bottom, if the top tried to ram it all the way in at once, my hole would clench shut and he'd have a helluva time trying to get in after that. As a top I prefer to work my way in slowly, at a pace the bottom is good with. I'm all about mutual pleasure, and I get as much pleasure from giving pleasure as I do from being pleasured.

[Sharp-edge]

It's nice to hear ur thoughts. About fingering, I don't really like it. Although fisting would be nice. About height, I just prefer my lover to be shorter than me. The ideal would be someone with the proportions of Seth Green (or even himself if he would be interested in me <3). I also like people between 30 and 45. I think i've never had sex with smeone younger than that. I'm not much of a twink lover.

[NWUSHorny]

Personally I hate being fingered, and love having my hole licked. If I'm into the guy I won't have trouble letting him in with just a little spit.

How much shorter? I'm 6'2" and find that a lot of guys only top guys shorter than they are, which can be a major obstacle when I need to get fucked. Some of the best sex I get is flip fucking with another desperate tall big dicked guy.