About to cheat bare on my man, should I?

[detour]

I’m in a very LTR and love the guy so much. We used to play with others pre-pandemic, and I could get my cum-fix from time to time, but haven’t been bred by a stranger in over 2 years. We’re both neg and not on prep (very hard to get here, and not sure I want it even).

 

So, for the last few months I started chatting on apps secretly, and I’m about to make a foursome with three strangers, that don’t know each other, but all willing to breed me. I leak precum and my pussy opens just thinking about that, but I am still worried to do it, of getting stis or hiv to my man… It would be a big betrayal of him, but I betray myself whenever I refuse to be bred as well, I am a cumdump…

So what should I do? Is it worth the risk that some or all of them may be toxic? Not worried getting pregnant, I just don’t want to harm or hurt him…

[cman54]

Thats a tough one that you will most likely have to deal with on your own. But if you are having the urge to cheat and meet any of these guys it will not go away and it will get stronger. Most here will say go ahead and do it. I probably would do it also if in your position. Thats just life.

[MuscledHorse]

No. One of my long time friends contracted HIV in 1990's because his partner cheated on him and was positive and didn't know it. Things did not end well. At all. If you've made the commitment to be sexually monogamous and you're going to cheat, at least take proper precautions for the sake or the person you've committed to. Even though my partner and I are sexually open, we are both on PrEP and get tested regularly so we keep each other and our partners safe. And if you can't do the monogamy thing then it might be time to have that conversation with your partner. The Judeo-Christian construct that equates sexual monogamy with Love is an artificial and largely unnatural construct, but so many have been brainwashed their whole lives into buying that line, they cannot separate the emotional commitment to someone from the physical drive all males have to indulge in sex.

[fskn]

I think you should weigh your sexual needs against the potential consequences for your partner, and for your relationship.

First, it's OK to want sex with new people. It also sounds as if your partner is generally aware of, and not entirely closed to, your desire to get bred by other men, since you guys "used to play with others".

Why not ask him, in this case?

It's better if he's currently aware of the risks and is taking normal, sensible precautions for any sexually active gay man (regardless of any agreement to be monogamous): getting regular and frequent HIV and STI tests. His awareness may have declined in the two years since you guys last played with others.

For yourself, in the long term: If you have difficulty getting PrEP, it's also likely that, in the small chance that you get HIV from a one-time encounter, you'd also get substandard HIV care: slower diagnosis and slower initiation of treatment. Find the best sexual health care for gay men in your country. Have a solid HIV and STI testing regimen in place. Find out what kind of HIV test is being used — a fourth-generation antibody+P24 antigen test that can detect a new HIV infection in few weeks, or a second-generation antibody test that tells your status as of a few months ago. Insist on getting the range of STI vaccines that are the standard of care in some parts of the world (vaccines against Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and HPV). Find out how quickly HIV treatment is initiated, for people in your country who are newly infected.

I agree with parts of what @MuscledHorse and @cman54 have said. One way to put their ideas together would be to say that, if in the end you need to get fucked by other men to be satisfied sexually, you should do that, and you will, but your partner should be aware, and there's a chance that he will end the relationship.

If it comes down to that, no matter how much you "love the guy", don't stay in a relationship that prevents you from having the sex you want.

[garsento]

If you are unhappy with the configuration. Of your relationship, don't change it without asking your partner. Definitely don't do something, like having bareback sex with third parties of unknown status, that could cause him serious harm.

[Davidc]

Simple , Yes

 

[DarkroomTaker]

FFS.. not another request for permission to cheat.

 Your view, Put partner at risk? Er, yeah why not, he deserves it, its my life, my body, my choice, he has no say in anything, its allright if I infect him. ( dont get me wrong, all us barebackers take the risk, but we choose to) He hasnt chosen.

Either leave him or tell him what you want to do, let him have a choice, he may surprise you.

But from what your profile says, you are doing it allready........

 

 

In an LTR, but loving being bred secretly on the side. Into anon, cruising, toilets, piss. I too sometimes too, but really prefer being a cumhungry fagpussy for real men to use and fill with real cum.

 

 

 

Gee....😷

Edited April 13, 2022 by DarkroomTaker
Typos many

[PozBearWI]

7 hours ago, detour said:

I’m in a very LTR and love the guy so much. We used to play with others pre-pandemic, and I could get my cum-fix from time to time, but haven’t been bred by a stranger in over 2 years. We’re both neg and not on prep (very hard to get here, and not sure I want it even).

 

So, for the last few months I started chatting on apps secretly, and I’m about to make a foursome with three strangers, that don’t know each other, but all willing to breed me. I leak precum and my pussy opens just thinking about that, but I am still worried to do it, of getting stis or hiv to my man… It would be a big betrayal of him, but I betray myself whenever I refuse to be bred as well, I am a cumdump…

So what should I do? Is it worth the risk that some or all of them may be toxic? Not worried getting pregnant, I just don’t want to harm or hurt him…

I suspect you knew your answer when you asked the question.  Today would be a good time to share with him what you just shared with us.  A frank conversation about how you want your relationship to be is clearly in order.  I am curious, who did the initiating of play pre-pandemic?  Did you two have a conversation about ending outside play?  And were the reasons due to Covid-19 protection or something else?

I think a whole lot of people sort of pulled-in these past couple years.  Possibly even within an LTR.  Coming out of that time should be a basis for lots of conversations from vacationing to reopening a previously open relationship.  Relationships naturally have things we do together and things we do by ourselves.  Is there a point in keeping what we do by ourselves a secret?  I think part of the joy of relationships is that we can take pleasure in the pleasure of our mate. 

Or is the consensus here, perhaps except for me; that our significant others are in charge of dictating our sexual pleasure?

[PozBearWI]

6 hours ago, cman54 said:

Thats a tough one that you will most likely have to deal with on your own. But if you are having the urge to cheat and meet any of these guys it will not go away and it will get stronger. Most here will say go ahead and do it. I probably would do it also if in your position. Thats just life.

It's only cheating if it is outside the defined bounds the two set for their relationship.  

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, detour said:

I’m in a very LTR and love the guy so much

That - your first statement in this thread - should give you your answer. 

I agree with almost everything said by the other respondents, and am adding my 2 cents worth.  By all means, discuss the upcoming plans with the long-term partner you love so much.  Since you and he have had a (somewhat?) open relationship in the past, why not at least include him in the decision, rather than simply exclude him altogether?  If you're afraid he might become hurt or angry, and you value your "very LTR" enough, you have your answer.  Maybe be, however - even if he's no longer interested in the Lust-driven sexual behavior he once was - he would very much encourage you to go take those loads.  We don't have enough information to opine on these fine points in your "very LTR", other than in generalities.  You do.  

I would always vote for being honest first, and, depending on the reaction, make the decision you're wrestling with.  In the end though, only you can determine which is the bigger betrayal. 

[PigBoyDallas]

If you were both picking up guys to breed you raw BEFORE Covid clearly you were both cool with the risks then, so what’s changed? That you’re doing it without him. I would just be honest, say you have this opportunity and does he mind or even maybe want to join. He might enjoy watching other guys breed you. Maybe he might want to fuck some of the guys or have them fuck him too. Treat it like a reward for getting through Covid. The worst case is he says no to it and then you know where things stand with him. Try having another three way and ease back into things again. Getting posted is the risk you take barebacking if you’re not on Prep. You can certainly ask guys their status but understand that guys lie. That could have happened with the guys you hooked up with before Covid. Life is about chances.

[evilalex]

Get on prep. That's my advice. 

[Bokkierob]

My 2 cents worth. You already know the answer yourself.  You need to give up your ass to other men and to feel other big hard cocks pumping their loads up your ass. You and your man did it before so why not again. Im any case maybe your man need to pump his seed up other anon holes. Monogamy is not a natural state for men. Most men, certainly most men on a site like this devoted to breeding and spreading our seed around view fucking as a contact sport and just enjoy the physical aspect of fucking. Now go, open. your legs, spread your ass wide and start milking cocks again.

[LetsPOZBreed]

Can I express a bit of a pet peeve here?  Apologies to come across rather abrassive, but something bothers me about these types of posts.

I'm failing to grasp the rationale for asking our "permission" to cheat.  This is not the right question to be asking us.  I don't want to be responsible for encouraging this type of behaviour, and I know many of my fellow BZ bretheren feel similarly about this.

I'm not going to answer the original poster's question, but I would prefer to offer some advice:  speak to your long-term partner about this.  I know you might be scared of his reaction, but believe me when I say you're due for a much worse reaction when the secretiveness surfaces.  If you really require anyone's permission, it's going to be his - not ours.

[analluv27]

Alright it’s probably better for you to take some time off to think about what you want. Clearly you realize that cheating on him will hurt your partner. Yeah I understand the allure of sex outside of a relationship, but what if you catch an STI and pass it along to him? 

You say that Prep  is hard to come by, what about HIV medication? There's a possibility of you getting HIV, and trust me that may be a hard thing to explain (not impossible.) to your partner. 

What you have to do is weigh the cost. Do you care about him really? If not better to break up and do as you please. Cheating leads down a long road of lies and deceit and it gets tiring.

You know you and you choose what you think is best for you.