Pain and Sex

[Sharp-edge]

So I was wondering..there is a porn culture about the bottom being in pain during sex (monster dicks, BBC, aggressive tops, BDSM etc). Does it reflect the truth? I mean everyone is different but isn't there a norm? I mean if some of you is mostly bottom does he consider ok to feel some pain or will he stop the top?

[pervinmt]

It depends on the bottom and the situation. There's times where I don't want pain, just good old fucking. Then there's times when pain is part of the scene. It varies.

[BootmanLA]

There are also many different kinds of pain. There's the pain of being stretched out (for those who aren't already gaping open) by a thick cock. It can hurt, but you adjust to it, usually, and the subsequent pleasure makes it worthwhile. There's the pain of a long cock poking into the back of your throat, or a thick one stretching your jaw; for some men, those are pains absolutely worth experiencing because they're intrinsically tied to oral sex.

There's the pain of being spanked or whipped. There's the pain of pinching nipples and slapping faces. There's slapping and twisting balls. And a whole lot more. Those are different kinds of pain, not directly tied to the "sex" act (ie oral or anal penetration) but which some men find sexually gratifying, either to administer or to receive (or, less commonly, to alternate between the two).

Some men never experience the first kind because they're too scared a cock in their ass is going to hurt. Some men seek out ever-increasing levels of pain and rough play, pushing the limits of what they can handle.

What matters isn't what other men want and enjoy; it's what YOU want and enjoy. If you don't like pain, then don't have sex that's painful. If you do, then decide what aspects are OK, and negotiate that with your partner(s).

[Sharp-edge]

I'm thinking these as a top, mostly about anal sex. Not hitiing, punching, slapping or anything just the penetration. I don't wanna be an asshole and make the other guy hurt but I'd love to fuck the hell out of my bottom (but I dont want him to be in pain so I pull back)

I do love to throat fuck however, make his face red and make him drool.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I'm always into some pain when it comes to sex, be it from a hard fucking, being choked by hand or by a brutal face fucking... it does add an element of spice to the encounter. But I respect the guy fucking me, maybe he is into it, maybe not. Vanilla sex is still much better than no sex at all.

I've had guys that talk about it up front, and that's great, it helps to put his mind to ease if he is feeling hesitant about what he thinks he can and cannot do. But my personal favorite is when during sex he starts to spontaneously act upon his urges and test my boundaries. That's when it gets interesting. We are feeding off each other at that point, driving each other deeper into lust. Not knowing where we will end up is the type of sex I dream about.

[BlindRawFucker1]

I guess I would be definitely considered vanilla boring, either topping or bottoming.

 

I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to be hurt.

[tallslenderguy]

Not painful for me.

 i'm not a (physical) masochist, not into pain.  i've prolly had a few thousand cocks, but and count on one hand the number of times i ever felt pain, and that was just initially when a Man had a huge cock and just shoved in.  my hole has be conditioned and developed to be a receptive organ, and for a few years now, it's been a lot better at being receptive than retentive. No incontinence, but i do have to clench like i am milking a cock to keep stuff where it belongs. 

i had one Man who wanted to be a FB. He was not long, but His cock is probably still the biggest i diameter i have ever taken?  The first time He fucked me, i got used to it, but took some time and was not really painful, but distracting till i opened enough for Him. The second time He contacted me, i demurred, but regretted doing so, i need/want a Man too much to turn Him down when He wants me.  The next time He contacted me, i opened a bit with a plug before He got there, i learned how to open just enough to make it easier for Him to get in and give Him the freedom to just push in.  This guy was seriously big, He'd pretty much fuck the cum out of me every time... wasn't an orgasm, probably all from the prostate, but copious amounts to where it looked like i had cum. i loved Him, He had wonderful energy. He really needed to fuck, and the more He bred me, the more i needed Him to fuck me. 

Sorry, big tangent lol. Good memory.  i'd guess most total bottoms with some miles on them stopped feeling pain at some point? idk, i had been putting things in my hole since 7, so by the time i took my first cock, i was ready. my hole had already been molded to receive.  i would guess that's pretty normal among total bottoms?  Pain has never really been part of regular breeding for me. 

[tallslenderguy]

2 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

I'm thinking these as a top, mostly about anal sex. Not hitiing, punching, slapping or anything just the penetration. I don't wanna be an asshole and make the other guy hurt but I'd love to fuck the hell out of my bottom (but I dont want him to be in pain so I pull back)

I do love to throat fuck however, make his face red and make him drool.

To me, a "hard fuck" doesn't hurt... at all. The energy of a hard, pounding fuck is awesome, sort of animalistic? idk, but i LOVE it, not pain at all. i love a deep grinding fuck too though, different kind of energy and just as awesome.

i've gotten to a place in life where i notice the energy a Man gives off.  The FB i described above with the huge girth had that pounding kind of approach and energy, but i felt no intent from Him to cause pain, which is probably why i wanted Him again and again ad infinitum.  His energy opened me psychologically and i figured out how to accommodate Him physically.  i loved and wanted His particular kind of pleasure and orgasm... in me. It was a part of Him that He put inside of me, and i am grateful.  To me that is so different from guys who want to hurt someone. i don't get that, to me, that is the opposite of connecting.  A hard fuck, even what some term "rough" fuck, doesn't come across to me that way if the Man is just hugely needing to breed/seed me. That is so different than someone trying to hurt me. And honestly, there is a sort of psychological masochism that is a part of me, but that's another topic.

[funpozbottom]

8 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

So I was wondering..there is a porn culture about the bottom being in pain during sex (monster dicks, BBC, aggressive tops, BDSM etc). Does it reflect the truth? I mean everyone is different but isn't there a norm? I mean if some of you is mostly bottom does he consider ok to feel some pain or will he stop the top?

"Porn Culture."  That says it all right there. In porn, they want to give the impression that the top is filling the bottom completely and the bottom can barely contain it. Contrast that to the reality that (most) bottoms in porn are prepped and lubed and fully capable of taking the top they are paired with.

The reality is that (most) bottoms that I've known don't want to feel pain while being fucked. For me, feeling pain usually means I need more lube, I'm not open and relaxed yet, or the cock is poking at a weird angle and I need a different position. All of those things have very easy fixes.  There is a certain amount of discomfort I'll tolerate, but I don't want sex to be painful... at least not in the way you're talking about.

Edited September 6, 2022 by funpozbottom

[PozBearWI]

18 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

I'm thinking these as a top, mostly about anal sex. Not hitiing, punching, slapping or anything just the penetration. I don't wanna be an asshole and make the other guy hurt but I'd love to fuck the hell out of my bottom (but I dont want him to be in pain so I pull back)

I do love to throat fuck however, make his face red and make him drool.

Oh how I wish you were in Wisconsin....

[hntnhole]

18 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

I'd love to fuck the hell out of my bottom (but I dont want him to be in pain so I pull back)

One fairly disguisable tool you can use is to monitor the bottom's involuntary body reactions.  Watch the pupils of the eyes for dilation.  Keep track of his pulse.  Some sweat on his brow is delicious, of course - but it it become profuse, it can be a stress-indicator too.  Prepping the Hole with your tongue can turn your bottom into a screaming pig, almost crying for your Cock.  Verbal filthy talk can help too. 

Props to you though, for caring about the bottom's experience.  Each of us is only half of the Breeding and the better it is for each guy, the more satisfaction each guy will get out of the scene. Even if it's an orgy scene, it's still an act of two men mating for those magic moments.