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I had the most intense sexual experience of my life last weekend. It was also the most frightening. I’m still trying to process me feelings about what happened.

After many conversations with my boyfriend JM about the leather scene, we agreed to go together to a leather bar here in the Bay area. It’s well known as a place where men go to hook up on site, in various backrooms and the basement. Lots of sex – reputedly bareback sex.

JM and I have an agreement that we would only engage in unprotected sex with each other. But I haven’t been able to overcome my fascination with letting a top I just met take me raw. We decided together that I should explore my desires more fully.

Well, to cut to the chase, I found myself in a basement room with nothing but a cum-stained mattress, a bare lightbulb, and lots of mirrors, accompanied by JM and a muscular, alpha male with a goatee and close-cropped gray hair who said his name was Jake.  I was wearing my harness, my black work boots, and my pride jewelry (but not my girlie wristwatch -- that's just for when I'm making love with JM). Jake wore studded leather arm bands and cuffs, a cock ring, and chaps. He had tatoos all over his arms and torso. We had agreed on a safe word, “heterosexual,” but I was determined not to use it. By prior understanding, JM left as things heated up between Jake and me, but was going to return to check on me.

A lot of what happened in that room is now a blur. It was just too overwhelming to remember it. Jake slapped my ass hard, and I thanked him and called him sir. He smoked a cigar and when he kissed me he tasted of tobacco and stale beer. God, it was so hot! I've never been so submissive with anyone. He forced his cock deep in my throat until I gagged and didn’t let go of my head. I had trouble breathing. But Jake was only focused on his own pleasure.

Then we were on the mattress. I was face down on my belly, and he mounted me. He was fully inside of me. Uncovered. A man I had just met. I was terrified, but I didn’t want him to stop. I was thrilled and turned on to be used the way Jake was taking me. The safe word was on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t utter it, couldn’t stop him. “You need to be seeded, faggot,” he grunted in my ear. “That’s what pussy boys like you live for.” I knew he was right. I felt powerless.

But then I had an attack of caution. As his thrusts grew faster and his heavy balls slapped against my ass, I muttered “heterosexual.” I said it again, louder and more forcefully. But he didn’t hesitate or pull out. He just growled in my ear, “Too late for that, cunt.” Then he jerked my head around to thrust his tongue in my mouth and I felt him tense up and explode inside me. He gripped my shoulders and kept thrusting until he had fully emptied himself in me. Then he stood up and walked out.

I lay there for a long time, breathing hard. I felt his cum oozing from my ass. Tears stung my eyes and I started to sob. Then I looked up and saw JM staring down at me. He had a smirk on his face and his large cock stood erect. “My turn, slut,” he said coldly. And he had his way with me. At some point when he was fucking me, I had an amazing orgasm.

When we left together, JM wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me close. I was trembling and told him how scared I was. He reassured me that I would be fine but added that I should get myself tested regularly.

I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I hope I have the power to resist the impulse to go back to the bar. I am scared of my feelings, scared of putting myself at risk. But my desire hasn’t been satisfied – If anything it’s more acute than before. I don’t know what I’ll do.

(To be continued....)

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My wonderful boyfriend JM surprised me today. He knows I’ve been thinking constantly about my encounter with Jake. I’ve been distant and distracted all week. We’ve discussed my complicated reaction and whether I would want to do it again. Well, JM managed to get Jake’s phone number and email, and offered to arrange another session whenever I’m ready.

I don’t know about this. Yes, it was the most amazing sexual and emotional experience I’ve ever had. Would it lose something by repetition? Can you ever recapture the heat? Maybe I should just savor the experience and relive parts of it in my mind.

Something else: now that I know we can find Jake, do I want to know whether he’s HIV positive? That was my fear, but also part of the turn-on. I plunged into the unknown, embracing the risk as the price Jake demanded. I wanted so desperately for him to breed me, to give me his seed. My man lust overwhelmed any sense of caution.

At first I thought that if learned Jake was poz, I couldn’t hook up with him again. Just too far over the edge for the prudent side of me. Now, though, I'm getting aroused at the thought of taking it to that next level, holding nothing back. If I learn he’s negative, I think a big part of the excitement would be gone. It’s NOT KNOWING that made it so hot. I felt fear but it only aroused me more. When I weakened too late and uttered the safe word, I really wanted him NOT to stop, even though I was genuinely terrified at that point. 

***

So my next tryst with Jake has been arranged. Without telling me, JM sent Jake a photo of me in my sissy boi outfit – clingy black camisole top, black thong, pride jewelry with my girlie wrist watch, and high-heeled black women’s booties. Jake wrote back that I’m not man enough to wear leather. He ordered me to write him a note accepting his conditions for a rendezvous. I emailed him the following last night:

“Dear Sir:

1. This Saturday JM will drop me at the warehouse entrance at [location] and leave me there.

2. I will not move from that location until you collect me, no matter how long or what the weather.

3. When you arrive, you will collar me and I will obey your commands

4. There will be no safe word.

5. There will be no condoms.

6. You will not abuse me physically in a way that leaves a mark or scar.

Your devoted and willing fuck toy, Andy”

***

Tonight's the night for my hook-up with Jake. I've almost chickened out about four times -- which is as many times as I've jerked off today thinking about it, LOL. JM has told me to stop playing with myself.

Jake sent more instructions. First, I am to shave my body smooth, because only real men have body hair, not sissy faggots like me. I've done this, and it feels cool.

Second, I am to bring a photograph of my ex-wife with me. JM told Jake I was married until a couple of months ago. I'm not sure why Jake wants the photograph, but I suspect it's to humiliate me.

Jake plans to videotape our session, with a copy for JM. I really hope it doesn't end up on the internet. It could ruin my career.

This is a crazy thing to do. I am a middle-aged male, not some kid who lives recklessly. Maybe I just never got this out of my system. But the whole thing is such a turn-on I can't back out.

***

And so it came to pass that I found myself standing outside the warehouse as instructed Saturday night at 11:00, wearing my black camisole, thong, and high-heeled booties, sporting my pride jewelry and pretty woman’s wristwatch, and holding the framed picture of my ex-wife. My body was smooth; my beard and hair cropped very short.

The street was empty. It was a bit chilly, so I was shivering. I hoped desperately Jake would show soon.

After about ten minutes, a car with tinted windows passed me. I had a glimmer of hope. It slowed down and then turned around and came back. The driver, a middle-aged white guy with a beard, lowered the window. “How much?”

“Excuse me?” I said.

“How much do you want to give me a blow job? And maybe to let me fuck you?”

It suddenly hit me that he thought I was a male prostitute. After all, who else would be out there, dressed as I was? I smiled and told him I already had a date for the evening.

“You’re cute,” He said. “I’ll pay you double what he’s giving you. Let’s make it $500.”

I said no thanks and he drove off. I figured if Jake didn’t show, I might have to take some guy up on an offer of paid sex, just to get out of the cold. The idea gave me an even bigger hard-on, which poked out of my tiny panties.

I checked my watch. I had been there for 45 minutes.

Then I heard a loud motorcycle roar. The rider was dressed in leather. It was Jake. He looked me over from head to toe and beckoned me to follow him. He lifted a garage door, wheeled the bike inside the darkness, and I entered behind him….

***

Jake flipped on a light. He stood there inspecting me. “Is that the photo of your ex?” he asked. I nodded. “Yes, sir.” My voice sounded unusually high and effeminate.

He signaled me to hand it to him, so I did. “Sexy woman,” he said admiringly. “She deserves a real man to fuck her. Heard she’s found one.” I winced. JM had told him more than I thought.

“Hmmm. I see you and she have the same taste in wristwatches. Pretty. Very girlie. Suits you both. Two cunts needing to be dominated by strong men.” I kept my eyes down, but I felt my ears turn red at his crude words about her and me, which I knew were true.

“Turn around.” I obeyed at once. I felt a leather collar slide around my neck, and heard a click. I was now on a leash, like a dog. My cock got even harder. Jake groped my cock, then fingered my butt, pushing my thong aside.

Then he jerked my leash so I was facing him, and kissed me hard. I opened my mouth and his tongue thrust in. I tasted the alcohol on his breath, and the tobacco from his cigar. My hands ran up his arms and across his leather harness.

Jake pulled away. “Open the door and go down the hall to the first door. We go in there.” He held the leash in one hand and the photo in the other. I walked, putting one foot in front of the other so my hips would wiggle like a woman’s. I felt strange – like a female in a man’s body. I wanted him to desire me as a straight man desires a woman.

We went into the room, which was lit by a couple of bare light bulbs. A bare, stained mattress on the floor, a leather easy chair, and a small table. Mirrors lined the walls. Two video cameras – my nightmare. Jake flipped on the one pointing at the chair. He set the photo of my ex-wife on the table, in plain sight.

Jake sat down and opened his leather shorts. His amazing cock popped out, semi-hard. He lit a cigar and studied me. Then he put on mirrored sunglasses, and gestured at the photo. “I think your wife should see her ex-hubby as a sissy fag, don’t you? On your knees, pussy boi. My cock needs attention. Let her see how well you suck dick.” I felt humiliated but totally turned on – I was living one of my most powerful fantasies, having my ex watch me pleasure an alpha male.

I got on my knees and began to worship Jake’s cock like I’ve never served man before. I looked up into his sunglasses and saw my reflection – a faggot fulfilling his true calling....

***

As I sucked Jake’s cock, I was rewarded with the first drops of his pre-cum. He continued to say nasty, sexy things about me, all being recorded on the camera. He asked me my ex-wife’s name and I told him. He turned to the photo and spoke to it as though she were in the room, “Well, B---, don’t you think your husband is a natural cocksucker? Did you teach him how to do this? Maybe I’ll make a date with you to see whether you’re as good at it as he is.”

Then he yanked the leash and ordered me to stop. He stared at me and I dropped my eyes, the way an obedient sissy does.

“Get on your back, faggot.” He pointed to the mattress. As I lay down, he turned on the other camera.

Then he straddled my chest, shoved a pillow under my head, and pointed the tip of his dick at my mouth. I started to reach up to stroke him and guide his cockhead toward my lips, but he ordered me to put my hands down. 

“Time for me to fuck my first hole of the night. Open wide.”

He thrust in hard and I gagged immediately. He didn’t stop. I felt I was choking, and it was hard to breathe. I resisted the urge to try to push him off, but my hands still groped at his leather leggings.

He paused for a moment and told me to put my hands behind my head. He pinned my wrists to the bed with his powerful grip. I was trapped, helpless. He resumed hard thrusts, hitting the back of my throat, as I willed myself not to gag. I heard his voice but I can’t remember anything he said. I sensed he was getting close, if I could only endure a little longer.

A final inward thrust and Jake let out a loud moan-grunt. I felt the first spurts of his jism in my throat. I swallowed and swallowed again. He pulled out and shot the rest of his load all over me face.

“Nice job, faggot,” Jake grunted. "I’d say you took it like a man, but you’re not a man. You’re just a fag, with a mouth pussy for real men to use.”

He wiped cum from my face with his fingers and stuck them in my mouth for me to lick clean. I loved the taste and felt a thrill that I had let this amazing hunk of a man use me.

“I bet your ex-wife really enjoyed seeing you do that.”

Then he kissed me, lay down beside me, and dozed off. I turned toward him, pressed up against his strong, manly body, and waited.

[To be continued]

 

 

 

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I must’ve dozed off because the next thing I remember is Jake telling me to get on my knees. The room was now brightly lit. I realized the camera was on and I would be clearly seen.

He put my ex-wife’s picture in front of me. “Now B---’s going to watch me fuck her sissy-boi husband.” He shoved some lube into my ass, hard. It hurt, and I gave an involuntary cry of pain. I felt him scratch me up inside.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said quickly.

“Not good enough, bitch.” He smacked my ass.

“Thank you, sir.”

More smacks followed. I felt my ass grow warm. Looking at the photo, I sensed my ex watching me, and I felt my face redden, just like my ass. I loved being humiliated by a real man in front of her.

The spanking stopped. The tip of Jake’s cock brushed my butt hole, then I felt him press into me. My ass opened to receive him. The fullness was wonderful, the warmth intense. I let out a girlish whimper of pure pleasure.

“Oh, yes, you like that, don’t you? Of course you do. That’s ‘cause you’re a cunt, right? This is what you were meant for – to be seeded by a real man. Tell your wife what you want, cunt.”

I looked at the photo. “I want your seed, sir,” I murmured, embarrassed.

A sharp smack. “Louder, cunt. I want her to hear you.”

“SEED ME, SIR. MAKE ME YOUR BITCH. CUM INSIDE ME,” I shouted.

“That’s better, faggot.” Jake was now in me to the hilt, moving in and out, his hands gripping my hips. “I bet B---'s in bed with her stud boyfriend right now, fucking him and enjoying what a real man can do. Yes, you and she have a lot in common, both horny little cunts.” He had that right!

His thrusts stopped, but the tip of his cock stayed inside me. “Time for you to do the work, faggot.” I began to rock back and forth on my knees, controlling the pace. He puffed away on his cigar, ordering me to go faster, then slower. At one point, I moved from my knees into a squatting position and bounced up and down on his cock. It was exhausting and I lost all sense of time.

Then he stopped and said, “On your back, bitch.”

I lay on my back on the dirty, cum-stained mattress. I pulled up my legs and spread my ass cheeks. Jake smacked my butt hard. “Did I tell you to do that, cunt?” Jake barked. 

“I’m sorry, sir.” 

He straddled my chest again and shoved his cock into my mouth. His dick smelled and tasted like my ass. I gagged with nearly every thrust; I felt a tear roll down the side of my face. I hated myself for crying but I couldn't help it. My ex used to cry often, too; now it just seemed part of being feminine.

Jake stopped and ordered me to spread my legs. I obeyed. He fingered my boi pussy, again scratching me, and then rimmed me with his tongue. I moaned. “Oh, yeah,” he grunted. “You like that, don’t you, cunt?” I moaned again, louder. “Beg for it,” he ordered. 

“Please, sir. I need your cock inside me. Please. I need you so much.” 

He stopped licking, got on his knees, and teased me with the tip of his dick. I begged him again. He rammed his thick, veiny dick in to the hilt in one swift thrust that made me gasp. I have never felt so full. 

Now he was really fucking me, harder and harder. I heard high-pitched sounds – “Ah! Mmmm! Oh!” – drawn from my throat. It was embarrassing to sound like a girl. I covered my mouth with my hand but Jake pushed it aside. "I like to hear a bitch when she moans," he muttered. As he thrust inside me, fast and deep, his balls slapped loudly against my ass. Whack! Whack! Whack!

I opened my eyes and saw my reflection in his dark glasses. I thought, My goodness. I am such a total slut. He can make me do anything. My hands gripped his thick forearms; I noticed my pretty watch and realized that my manhood was totally gone. He had left me with nothing but my inner sissy self, female in every way but anatomically. 

Jake tossed aside his cigar, then blew a final puff of cigar smoke in my face. I loved it – it was such an expression of male power. At that moment I knew that if he wanted B---, she could never resist his advances. I thought to myself, This is what every woman really wants. I was only pretending to be a man. This is what a faggot needs

He was close now. “I’m going to mark you now, cunt. You’re going to take my positive seed.” I heard the words, somewhere in the back of my mind, but they didn't really register. Besides, I was too far into the moment to stop.

“Yes, sir! Please, sir!” 

I felt his body tense, then a final series of deep spasms and he exhaled loudly. His mouth found mine and his tongue invaded me, too. It was an intense fuck-kiss, my favorite moment when my man expresses his pleasure. It seemed to last forever.

***

Jake fell asleep on top of me, as I gently stroked his back. I felt him soften and eventually slip out of my boi cunt. Some of his cum dribbled down my crack, but I held most of it inside me. I dozed off.

The next thing I knew, Jake gruffly ordered me to turn on my belly. As I did so, I saw that he had placed my ex-wife’s photo only a foot from my face.

“You like having B--- watch you, don’t you, sissy?”

“Yes, sir! Yes I do! I want her to see me getting fucked by a real man.”

He shoved his cock into me. I was so loose it took just one good thrust., and it didn't hurt anymore. “Tell her what you are, boy,” Jake ordered.

“I’m a faggot, B---. Not a real man. I need to be fucked. Look at me, honey. I was meant to serve real men, like this.”

Jake lay on top of me, pounding my ass. He yanked my face around to kiss me, our tongues swirling. When he stopped I faced the photo of my ex again. It felt like she was staring through me. I felt my own dick harden and throb. “Sir,” I murmured, “I’m gonna cum soon.”

“Not yet,” he commanded. He paused. He grabbed the picture and laid it on the bed next to me. “Turn on your side,” he said. My hard dick was now directly over the photo.

Jake reached around and began to pump my cock. I’ve never been so hard in my life. “I bet she hates fags because of you, boy. Now get even. Shoot your load onto her pretty face.” I couldn’t resist. My jism spurted out, all over the photo, all over B---'s pretty face, her cold stare. I turned to Jake and softly said, “Thank you, sir.”

***

As I emerged from a dreamless sleep, I felt a sharp tug on the leash. Jake was standing over me. “Get up, cunt,” he ordered. He led me down the hall back to where he had parked his motorcycle. I heard the click-click of my black booties on the concrete floor. It sounded sexy. A faint light was visible through the high windows -- dawn was coming. How would this end?

Jake led me over to his bike. I thought he was going to tell me to sit behind him and ride through the streets of San Francisco in nothing more than my cami and thong. I was humiliated but also turned on by the thought of people walking their dogs and seeing me with my collar and leash.

Instead he ordered me to lean over the bike and spread my legs. I realized Jake planned to fuck me again. I felt a tingle of anticipation and started to get hard. In front of me was a full-length mirror. Jake lit a cigar. His magnificent dick, which had given me so much pleasure, stood out rock hard.

“I like a piece of ass in the morning for the road,” he grunted as he blew a cloud of smoke at me. “Then I’ll call you a ride.”

He got behind me on his knees, spread my ass cheeks, and proceeded to lick my boi cunt. I was in heaven and I moaned. Then he stood behind me and pressed my back so my belly rested on the bike seat. I felt his man meat against my asshole. It slid in easily; I was loose from all the fucking.

Jake thrust in and out, moving for his pleasure. I was nothing more than a cum dump for my top, and I loved the sense of being used. My own dick wiggled back and forth beneath me. It went on for a long time, the room getting lighter, my legs tiring, as I gasped with each deep stroke. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a man and his little, effeminate faggot – me – each of us in his proper place.

Jack increased the pace. I knew he was close. Then, with a loud grunt, he erupted inside me, bestowing on me the gift of his seed. His positive seed. It truly was gift, and it established his dominance over me forever. He pulled out, turned me around, and gave me a deep kiss. It was incredibly hot and intense.

“Now for your ride home, cunt.” He pulled out his cellphone from the pouch behind the seat. “JM gave me your ex-wife’s phone number. Should I call him or her?”

“Sir, please, not her. Don't call her,” I pleaded. But inside, secretly, I hoped he would….

BRIEF EPILOGUE

About six weeks later I got really, really sick. I tested positive. My boyfriend took care of me. He told me he loved me and proposed. It was very sweet and I said yes. But every now and then, Jake calls and orders me to meet him at the warehouse. And I do.

 

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