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This is the story of how I came to be who - and what - I am today.

My name is Christian, and I've always been straight. Indeed, I still am. I can appreciate when a man is handsome, well-built or whatever, but that has never done anything for me. I am attracted to women, they turn me on, and yet I know I will never end up spending my life with a female. You see, despite how my brain is wired, my body betrays me. When it comes to sex, these days it is all about cock.

First up, a bit about me. I'm 6'1", pretty well built and lean, and have always had people tell me I'm handsome. I have dirty blond hair (from my father's Swedish roots) that I keep short, and slightly olive skin from my mother's Italian heritage. I played a number of sports throughout school, but swimming has always been my favourite and I go to the pool several times a week after the gym. I have a decent sized cock, and nice tight buns that I keep in check with daily squats. All in all, I tend to get a good amount of attention, and have never had any trouble getting a girlfriend.

I had my first experience with a man during my gap year before university. Despite having no interest in men really, I was really curious about what it would be like to get fucked. That had always been there since I was old enough to know it was a thing men could do, and fingering myself had been part of my masturbation ritual from almost as soon as I started touching myself. However, it was only once I had been in San Francisco for a couple of days as part of a round-the-world backpacking adventure that I finally got the courage together to look into it properly, and wound up in a bar in the Castro. My older brother had fortunately agreed to 'lose' his driving licence before I left the UK, and as we look so much alike it served as the perfect fake ID while in the US. Of course, that meant I had to remember to call myself Jacob while I was there. Anyway, 'Jacob' got himself picked up by this fairly muscular guy in his mid-30s, and spent the night at a nearby apartment having his cherry firmly popped! Condoms were used of course, and I also had my first go at sucking cock just to see what it was like. It was OK, but being taken up the arse was an absolute revelation, so much so that I allowed the guy to do it to me three times before I left in the morning.

For the rest of my gap year and through my first couple of terms at university, I hooked up with both men and women depending on what I was feeling. Then I met Joanne, and got into my first proper relationship since my school girlfriend. The man sex stopped until we broke up towards the middle of my third year at uni, and after that ended I almost exclusively sought out cock for a while.  This established a pattern that would dominate my life for the next ten years: I would have relationships with women; they would fizzle out; I would then get fucked by guys for however long it took me to find a new girlfriend; and repeat.

When I was 25 I had my first bareback experience, largely through being too drunk to function properly.  I let a guy do me in the backroom of a gay bar that I had stumbled into after getting separated from both my friends and my phone. I was out of it, but somehow did manage to remember how liberating and exciting it felt to get used like that. After a couple more safe-sex hookups I realised something had changed in me, so I decided to take the financial hit and got myself on PrEP via online deliveries from the States. Once that was working properly, I became almost exclusively a bareback bottom during my weeks or months at a time of seeking cock, and perhaps most tellingly, I stayed on it when I met my next girlfriend (even getting myself onto the NHS trial so I could get it for free).

Things changed in 2018 when I met Sarah. She was an American ex-pat living in London, a place she'd chosen to stay after studying at UCL, and we really hit it off. I mean, like crazily hit it off. She was the first woman I moved in with, and it was shortly after that milestone that I decided to properly commit, focus on building a life with her, and try to leave my cock-hunting days behind me.  As part of that, I stopped taking PrEP. I had firmly pledged to myself to leave my wanton ways in the past, and start living the life of a 'proper' straight man. "Yeah right" I hear you say, but at the time it was what I thought I wanted, needed, and should be doing.

The pandemic was, however, the beginning of the end. Being cooped up for so long with Sarah started to highlight problems in our relationship, and I realised we were gradually drifting apart while also getting on each other's nerves with every passing day. She had made me change so much about myself that I suddenly started to resent her for it, when before I had just been in such a love haze that I happily went along with it all. It was a godsend when some of the travel restrictions eased enough for Sarah to make a trip home to see her family, and she was soon ready for a month back in the States.

I dropped her off at the airport early in the morning on a Friday, and had taken that day off from work so I could have some extra time to myself. I had lined up a night out with some friends for the evening, and so decided to take a nap when I had been back home for a while as the 4am alarm had started catching up with me. When I awoke around lunchtime I was undeniably horny, and I knew what I wanted. The flat we were renting had some attic space we could use, and given her aversion to almost every type of insect and bug, Sarah was never going to go up there. As such, I had been able to squirrel away my box of toys without her ever finding out about it, and that afternoon I dug it out for the first time in two years.

It took some work after so long, but eventually I was happily riding one of my larger dildos and finally getting the stimulation I needed. Well, sort of. As much as I was enjoying it, long-buried desires for it to be a real cock took hold. The thought of that made me cum, and yet barely half an hour later I was back on the rubber dong working myself up to another orgasm. And then again two hours later.

Perhaps it was the couple of beers I drank in the afternoon, or just a feeling of liberation now that she was gone for a month, but when I got dressed for my night out with the guys the whole ensemble was completed with an unseen treasure: a large buttplug stuffed up my rear end. I had never gone out with my friends doing anything like that at all, but that night I headed off to the pub in Kentish Town with my sphincter working overtime. It felt awesome.

Perhaps spurred on by my courage to do that, I also fished out another box of treasures that I had kept hidden from Sarah.  Inside was the 1.5 kilo silver chain and matching bracelet I had bought shortly before meeting her, which she had made it clear she did not like and that I should sell (which I told her I had).  I donned both, and balanced things out with an enormous chunky Diesel watch that Sarah had also sneered at.  I knew I'd get some comments from the guys with all this bling on display, but hey, it felt good to finally rediscover the old me a bit. Really taking the theme and running with it, I also stopped by the corner shop on my way to the tube and bought a couple of packets of Marlboro Gold and a lighter, deciding that all the nagging about my social smoking was going to be a thing of the past.

The night out was fantastic, not a full-on drinking binge like it could have been but rather a relaxed evening with the guys. I got a couple of comments about how chilled I seemed from when we had last managed to meet up, and couldn't help but agree that I was happy to have a break from Sarah. Although we didn't talk about it at length, I think my friends knew the writing was on the wall for that relationship. With the restrictions on opening hours, the night ended far too quickly and we all made our way off in search of home. Or at least, they did. The one other friend who would be getting the tube suddenly realised he needed to rush to catch a train from London Bridge so he fled towards the station while I went to the loo for a strategic piss, meaning that by the time I was out of the pub I was alone. It was then I realised how close I was to Hampstead Heath, and a decision was made.

I wasn't stinking drunk, but my inhibitions were definitely down. My arse had been enjoyably stretched out all evening by the buttplug, and I knew I needed it to get a proper seeing-to. I had already basically decided that I would not be living at our flat anymore when Sarah got back from the States, so despite the fact that I had not broken up with her, my brain when into Single Man Mode.

For me, that meant one thing: cock...

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I ambled up towards the Heath, not totally sure where I needed to aim for but knowing there would likely be someone there who could satisfy my need for a hard pounding. I hadn't planned on this so had no condoms and of course wasn't on PrEP anymore, but those thoughts barely made a dent in my determination to get fucked. I instead focused on trying to find where the action usually took place, and eventually I got lucky. In a secluded spot out of view of where others may be walking their dogs or jogging at this time of night, I found what I was looking for. A group of guys were standing around, some with their trousers down and all of them feeling or rubbing their crotches. I took a deep breath, and then approached.

"Evening" said one of the guys. I just nodded in response.

"What you here for?" asked another.

I looked around them, took another deep breath, and then made my way over to a large log nearby. I undid my trousers, pushed them down, and then bent over the log with my arse facing the men. Within seconds I felt the first hand on my backside, gently fondling my buttcheeks through the fabric of my CK briefs. The wandering fingers then encountered the base of the plug, which I felt jiggle.

"Got ourselves a live one here" said the man who was doing the touching. I didn't even glance back to see what he looked like, but instead reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my cigarettes and lighter. I plopped them on the log, fished one out and lit it.

"You want fucked boy?" the man asked.

"Yes" I replied, exhaling a cloud of smoke, trying to calm my beating heart.

"Well alright then" he said, before gripping my underpants and pulling them down. He then pressed the plug into me a couple of times, causing me to groan, before gripping its base and pulling it out. "Guess we don't need to warm you up" he said, before I heard him shuffle his own trousers and pants down.  The first touch of his cock on my ring elicited another moan of pleasure from me, before he pressed in and filled me to the hilt in one go. It felt so fucking good.

"Oh yeah, nice arse" he grunted, before starting to slide in and out of me. His pace picked up quickly, and I was soon being slammed pretty hard just how I like it. God I had missed this. The fact I was smoking a cigarette while getting fucked for the first time in my life was also doing something to me, and a state of utter bliss took over my whole being. Added on to this was a bottle of poppers that was repeatedly pushed under my nose, and then eventually left on the log for me to use as I needed.  In no time I was flying.

The first guy had some stamina, but eventually I could feel and hear that he was approaching orgasm. His thrusts became more urgent, his breathing got faster, and then he slammed into me and spewed.

"Take my fucking nut you cunt!" he shouted, as he unloaded into my satisfied hole.

"Yeah, knock him up!" I heard one of the others say.  I didn't know what that meant, and didn't get much time to consider it before my fucker pulled out and was replaced by one of the other men. His dick was thinner but longer, resulting in a fresh round of groans from me as he probed me deep. In time he too shot off, and someone else stepped up and took over. So it went on, as I descended into a complete haze as I was fucked over and over again by an increasingly large group of men. The nicotine from the cigarettes and the pungent aroma of the poppers really added to the effect.

After some time in that position, I felt something new in my rectum as a guy slid in.  Kind of painful, but also pretty exhilarating.  I figured it was probably some kind of piercing, which was confirmed to me after he shot off, pulled out and then waddled round to the other side of the log to present his dick to me.  As I said before, sucking cock was not really what I was about, but I had accepted that sometimes it was a means to an end if I wanted to get fucked. On this occasion, as a new guy who had slid into my arse got into a rhythm, I was kind of intrigued by the glinting of a big metal hoop through the end of the cock in front of my face, and therefore opened my mouth and allowed him to slip in for me to clean him off.  A meaty cock, coated in cum, with a real metallic tang that seemed to be partly coming from the piercing but also from elsewhere.  I realised it must be blood, probably mine.  These guys were really doing a number on me.

I don't know how long I was bent over leaning against that log, but by the time the group thinned out and there weren't any fresh takers for my rear end, the sky was starting to get lighter.  I ached in places as I slowly stood up straight, and when I bent back over to pull up my trousers I found they were soaked in cum and possibly some piss.  I had started to sober up a bit and realised that getting all the way back to Clapham in this state was not going to be pretty.

"You got far to travel son?" asked the guy with the Prince Albert, who I now saw to be a middle-aged tattooed bear of a man wearing a leather harness and ripped jeans.  He had stuck around all evening, with his cock either up my arse giving me several loads, or in my mouth and eventually down my throat.

"Clapham" I replied.

"Yikes" he said, "you'll get arrested getting on the tube like that."

"Yeah" I sighed, wondering if I could find a way to get cleaned up a bit in the swimming ponds further down the heath.

"Listen" he said, "me and my man here live just over there. Why don't you come back to ours and we'll get you cleaned up?"  He gestured towards another guy who was dressed similarly, who nodded at me.

"OK" I said, after a moment of looking between each of them. "That would be great."

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The two burly men and I set off across the heath, and along the way they talked to me a bit.  For some reason I just told them everything, about being a cock-loving straight guy who had kept it all repressed for too long while trying to be a good boyfriend.  They seemed pretty interested by this, and commented on how I had really "thrown the shackles off" in coming up there that night.  They shared a look with each other when I mentioned that my girlfriend was away for a month and I was just going to be taking it easy for the rest of the weekend.

When we got to their house, which I noted to be pretty large and expensive-looking, they directed me to a door that led down to a sort of basement that had been converted into a self-contained flat opening onto the garden, showing just how hilly it was here given the front door upstairs was at street level.  There was a big bathroom down there, and they had told me to just take as long as I needed to get clean while they put my clothes into the machine for a fast wash-and-dry cycle.  It had initially been a bit awkward getting down to my underpants in the hallway on the ground floor in front of both of them, but needs must.

After I showered and got myself towel-dried in the bathroom, I emerged to find the two of them waiting for me in the living area of the garden flat.

"All better?" the guy with the piercing asked.

"Yes, thanks" I said.

"Good" he replied.  "Well, the machine is going to be a while, so why don't you lie down for a bit."  He gestured towards the bedroom, which I wandered into.  It was then that I realised that perhaps all the fun wasn't over, as laid out on the bed were some leather restraints and chains.

"Er..." I started to say.

"Be a good lad and get onto the bed face down" said the pierced guy, coming into the room behind me with his partner.  "We're going to get you nice and comfortable for the day ahead."

"What?" I asked, turning to face him.

"We've got some mates who are sorry to have missed out on last night, so they're coming over soon to give you some more of what you need" he replied, as though it was nothing.  "As I said, be a good lad and get up on the bed so we can get you ready for them."

My mouth dropped open and I couldn't think of anything to say.  I was fully sobered up, my hole felt extremely well used, and yet here was a guy intending to essentially pimp me out to his friends for however long it was going to be.  Despite my shock and inability to form a coherent reply to him, my dick started springing to attention, which did not go unnoticed.

"Thought so" said his otherwise very quiet partner.  "We knew you weren't done yet."

"Put this on" said the pierced guy, handing me a black jockstrap that I hadn't noticed he was holding.

I stood there in disbelief, and then as an almost out of body experience, I dropped my towel, took the jockstrap from him and slipped it on.  I then turned, took a deep breath, and walked over to the bed.  I climbed up on top of the sheets on all fours, hung my head down, and waited.  The two of them went either side of the bed, motioned for turn to face the headboard, and had me to lie down flat.  They then proceeded to get my ankles and wrists into some thick leather restraints, which they chained to the bed frame spreading me out in an X-shape.  One of them then stuffed a couple of handkerchiefs in front of my nose and mouth, which I could immediately tell had been doused in poppers.  Finally, they started to lube and finger my hole, which I realised was actually a bit sore but also undeniably hungry.

After a little while the doorbell rang, and the pierced guy went upstairs to let in their friends while his partner continued to open me up.  After lots of heavy footsteps, a group of six or seven guys entered the room, and from what I could from my rather restricted position, all were rocking a similar style as the hosts.  There were lots of "oh my, what do we have here" type of comments when they entered, and then they all got undressed.  I guessed they were in some sort of club given the ones I could actually see had scorpions tattooed on their chests.

"Hey boy" said one of them.  "Our friends here tell us you're straight."

"Yeah" I replied, my head starting to swim from the poppers.

"And you've got yourself a girlfriend" he continued.

"Yeah" I sighed.

"But you're our whore today, aren't you" he growled.

"Yes sir" I replied.

"Good lad" he finished, before I felt the mattress being compressed by someone else climbing onto it behind me.  I had no idea if it was the unseen guy who had just been verbally putting me in my place, or another one of the group.

Either way, and without any fanfare or foreplay, the fucking began.  The first guy just climbed on top of me, slid in and began thrusting.  He lasted quite a while before shooting into me, and then another of the guests repeated the whole scene.  In fact, they all did, and this time there were a lot of pierced cocks finding their way into my hole.  As with the night before, and despite the lack of alcohol, I descended into a haze as I lay there immobilised by the restraints, my nose and mouth in a cloud of poppers, with my hole just being used repeatedly.  Yet, and this was strange to me, I somehow it felt like where I should be.

Once they'd all had a go with me in that position, the chains were unlocked and they turned me over.  My arms were pulled back and chained to the top of the bed frame again, and now each of them took a turn at fucking me while holding my legs in the air and looking down at me.  They each had more stamina this time, I guess from having shot off once already, and also seemed like they needed a bit more stimulation.  This extra drive they got from being verbal with me, which finally got me to understand what was happening.

"Yeah, take my poz cock!"
"Busting your hole open for my venom!"
"Going to infect your straight arse!"

The scorpion tattoos made sense.  The biohazard tattoos made sense.  It all made sense.  I was being pozzed.  Or perhaps re-pozzed, having clearly taken some viral loads the night before too from at least the two kind gents who had brought me back to their home.

You would have thought that a straight guy who found himself being repeatedly fucked full of poz cum would have panicked, tried to get away, tried to stop it.  But no.  As man after man had fucked me last night, and as it was all happening again this morning, I had realised that not only was I not going to be with a woman again, but I probably wasn't going to end up with a man either.  I wanted cock, an endless supply of cock, and I wanted to be used.  Maybe just getting my posing over with was sensible, given it was bound to happen some day anyway.

Once they'd all had a go with me on my back, I was unchained from the bed but kept the restraints round my wrists and ankles.  The guests all left the room, one of the hosts plonked a big glass of water down on the bedside table, and then I was left alone.  I almost immediately passed out.

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