Body Diversity on the Scene

[AirmaxUK]

15 hours ago, RawPlug said:

I don’t know where to start with this. I’ve never judged any guy by his looks, age, size, race or religion. To me, that’s absurd and limiting. I’m not that superficial. I can only suggest about those kind of comments that it says more about them than it does about you or anyone else. 

It’s easy to say you should just rise above it and ignore the detractors. Not so easy to do it. But rest assured, Andy, there are plenty who do find you attractive.  So it’s their loss. 

Thanks, @RawPlug it's always nice to be appreciated. My purpose here, however, is not seeking any kind of attention for myself, but really to highlight how events promoters and scene/fetish shops really push a narrow image of our culture.

It's clear from the responses so far that it's not a unique experience. 

The question is: what can we do to change things? 

[hntnhole]

20 hours ago, RawPlug said:

Andy, there are plenty who do find you attractive

Any guy that doesn't must be subsisting on a diet of communion wafers ....

[AirmaxUK]

19 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Any guy that doesn't must be subsisting on a diet of communion wafers ....

Shouldn't that be Cumunion Wafers?

[ErosWired]

All I can say is that the people running these fetish gear shops are morons. Not because of the comments or the attitude, which are beyond inexcusable, but because their business sense is appalling. All they’re doing by not stocking merchandise for real-life-sized people is throwing away potential profit. To suggest to a potential customer that you’d rather he spend his money at a gym than provide  products that fit him is idiotic.

I imagine they fail to realize that their refusal to equip regular people in gear isn’t forcing everyone to slim down to their bespoke sizes - on the contrary, the BDSM world is replete with skilled craftspeople and artisans who turn out custom gear, and taught themselves how to do it exactly because they couldn’t get what they wanted elsewhere. The only gear I have that I don’t craft for myself is metalwork.

There are populations of men in the fetish scene for whom that man on the Recon cover represents an ideal, both as an example to aspire to, and a very highly desirable goal for service. A failure to recognize this on the part of a company that sells, say, leather kilts, is a sign that the company has an inadequate understanding of both its market and its customer base.

[onlyraw]

All of this will catch up with them in time…. Example, Victoria’s Secret, that  store used to be huge, but they started taking heat for their unrealistic models, then they tried to pivot and started to use “real sized” models- but it was too late 

[tallslenderguy]

This is a fascinating topic to me. There's arguments on both sides when it comes to attraction, i.e., that it's a biologically ingrained response vs culturally conditioned.  

It's definitely culturally manipulated, eh?  To me, that's the primary crux, or influence, when it comes to the stigma that becomes associated with body appearance. 

As an aside, we are beginning to understand that the main cause of "obesity" is not the affected person, but the food industry.  

"Tobacco conglomerates that used colors, flavors and marketing techniques to entice children as future smokers transferred these same strategies to sweetened beverages when they bought food and drinks companies starting in 1963, according to a study by researchers at UC San Francisco.

The study, which draws from a cache of previously secret documents from the tobacco industry that is part of the UCSF Industry Documents Library tracked the acquisition and subsequent marketing campaigns of sweetened drink brands by two leading tobacco companies: R.J. Reynolds and Philip Morris. It found that as tobacco was facing increased scrutiny from health authorities, its executives transferred the same products and tactics to peddle soft drinks. The study publishes March 14, 2019, in the BMJ."

[think before following links] https://tobacco.ucsf.edu/cigarette-giants-bought-food-companies-used-cartoon-characters-colors-flavors-boost-sales-sweetened-beverages

[NWUSHorny]

9 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Shouldn't that be Cumunion Wafers?

I find those in my boxer shorts the morning after a good night at the fuck club. Living where I live, they would starve to death.

On the other hand, I see guys of all sizes, shapes and ages modeling their fetish gear at the sex venues and events here, so they must be able to get it somewhere. Now, if we could just get them into actually fucking while they model their gear, we would have it made.

[viking8x6]

On 4/16/2023 at 5:12 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

The second point I wanted to highlight is how the scene and feitsh stores play into this culture - again with images and advertising, but also with exclusion by only offering their products in small sizes and skinny cuts. And they're a bit like SuperDRY in the UK - an XXL there is like an L everywhere else. If you ask for larger sizes in these stores you get reactions from the staff like:

"The only thing we have in the store that will fit you is some socks. Maybe." (Gear Berlin)

"We have a made to measure tailoring service..." (Blackstyle)

"Perhaps you should spend your money on a gym membership first" (One of the leather shops)  

"The bakery is next door"  (Frontstyle)

 

 

On 4/16/2023 at 6:15 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

This is pretty mild. In a wider context I've been on the receiving end of many comments like this on the scene over the years. 

I remember the guy on the reception to the Sauna in Waterloo told me "You'd be better off staying home with a packet of crisps. You won't get any fun in here."

The barman at Slut Club in Hamburg who took me in hand to the dark room only to ask "What is is like to not be able to see your dick except in a mirror?"

These get put down at the time as bitchy barbs, you try to ignore them and move on, but they they're not that harmless because they stay with you.  

I am gobsmacked (and I'm American) by the appalling degree of rudeness these people put on display. And your last line definitely speaks truth.

I've got pretty much ordinary love handles for someone my age (over 50), but am not in the bear category (more like wolf). However, I am very fond of the guys who are in the bear category - the model in the ad you posted is case in point: my reaction is "YUM!" So I find it tragic that my favorite playmates are being driven away from the venues I frequent...

On my darker days, I'm thoroughly convinced that western civilization has outlived its usefulness.

[PitPiggy]

As a bear chaser of ill renown since the day I hatched, I guarantee you that the "competition" that exists for adonis-type guys exists for big guys as well. Fat and chubby guys ARE desired, and are NOT just a fetish. 

I find a variety of large body-types irresistible, and I want to see more of them in marketing. Maybe it's just the bubble I've created for myself since the pandemic (Not maybe, it very likely is), but I was under the impression that gay guys have opened up more and more towards finding a wider range of body-types attractive. 

All that said, those shops should be taught a lesson. Sex and fetish play are not exclusive to conventionally attractive bodies, and our world already deals a way-too expensive hand to those that aren't that.

[hntnhole]

10 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Shouldn't that be Cumunion Wafers?

LOL ..... where was my mind ???   Of COURSE you're 100% correct !!!