hntnhole Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 2 hours ago, ErosWired said: So how does she feel about this “time share”? How would tsg know? It's not his business to ask about the wife, or anyone else. It's his business to offer himself to that man who needs him, and who he needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hntnhole Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 26 minutes ago, ErosWired said: it’s an unreasonable expectation on the part of a bottom/submissive to look to another man to be responsible for keeping his sexual hunger (which may be voracious) constantly sated. No, I don't think it is, at least within the parameters of a classic Dom/sub construct (Ownership) observant of the Leather Ethic. The answer to that dilemma is, the Dom sends his boy over to a trusted friend (almost certainly also a Leatherman) for use. Less-likely, but certainly possible, the Dom can send his property out to a fuckjoint to take loads. A Cock-hungry sub can invent all kinds of innocuous ways to make his Dom/Owner "aware" that his thirst is not being sated, which then becomes the Dom's issue to figure out. That kind of situation does invite revisiting the initial negotiation, which should be revisited occasionally anyway. If the Ownership relationship (that was awkward, but) is to remain strong and true, consider that both the Dom and the sub are human beings that are constantly growing intellectually, emotionally, sexually, and the original parameters (or contract, as you mention) can be revisited when appropriate. Even in the het world, marriages between opposite sex sometimes need to be refreshed. I remember as a kid, when my mom wanted her own car (we had one at the time, which my dad drove to work every day). They went into their bedroom, closed the door, and the torrent of Swedish was tremendous, and she did get her own car. Another 6-cylinder Chev, unfortunately. We're all living, growing, constantly evolving men, and the flexibility of the limits can and should be revisited occasionally. Some men call it a "time out", where the initial negotiation is suspended for the duration of the exchange. Some call it by other names. The point is, to recognize that it's entirely correct and appropriate to reexamine the foundational bedrock from time to time. If new limits are in order, that's fine. If the differences are irreconcilable, then the two men have grown in different directions, and each has grown, learned, and is a better man. The whole point of Ownership is, one man (often more experienced) enriches the other (often less so) in many amazing ways. That's the goal of Ownership in the first place - or any other loving, caring, enriching relationship, for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErosWired Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 12 minutes ago, hntnhole said: How would tsg know? It's not his business to ask about the wife, or anyone else. It's his business to offer himself to that man who needs him, and who he needs. Not his business to ask? I avoid threesomes with committed couples because I refuse to be a potential catalyst for discontent and possible failure of a relationship between two other people, especially if I’m nothing more than a piece of ass. Why? Because someone inserted himself into mine and I no longer have a family because of it. The Top who is going to fuck me in half this evening has a husband. This Top has been fucking me semi-regularly for over a year and a half and has probably bred about 20 loads into me. At the very start I made it my business to ask if his partner minded me servicing him, and whether my service to him would potentially cause a rift between them. He assured me that they play separately and it would not. I have an ethical obligation to ensure that my actions do not cause harm. I don’t ask every anonymous man who walks into my hotel or bathhouse room whether he has a relationship, but in the event that I come to know that a third party is involved, I have to be considerate if that other person in the same way that I hope someone would be considerate of me in like circumstance, and respectful of my relationships. We cannot dismiss this girlfriend’s interests simply because she’s a woman; indeed, the fact that she’s female likely predisposes her more to an emotional attachment even than our friend here, something to which he might have empathy. That this Top might be callously fucking men behind her back is also not grounds to dismiss her - the man being fucked would then be complicit in a knowing deception. Note that I didn’t suggest that our friend ask her - I only suggest that he ponder the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErosWired Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 11 minutes ago, hntnhole said: No, I don't think it is, at least within the parameters of a classic Dom/sub construct (Ownership) observant of the Leather Ethic. Perhaps I should clarify that I think it unreasonable to expect from casual arrangements based solely on a sexual component. The long-term Leather lifestyle arrangements you’re referring to are true relationships, with bonds that form at multiple levels, the sexual component being only one of them, albeit a prominent one. In less committed, more transactional Dom/sub ‘ownership’ arrangements, based solely on the sexual dynamic, my experience and observation has been that there is seldom sustained follow-through, and most of these end up being of relatively short duration as a result. The Leather ethic is not, regrettably, as widely observed as one might wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators viking8x6 Posted May 21, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 Absolutely HATE the whole idea. NOBODY owns my ass but me. Nor my dick either. Not even my fiancé. And the idea that anyone would assert such ownership without so much as a nod to dialog or negotiation is repugnant. Further to that, my impression is that many of the guys who consider themselves "alpha" tops, or who are territorial, jealous, possessive, controlling, etc., have serious self-esteem problems and I don't want them anywhere near me... but if they do decide to tangle with me, and start to play that card, NOTHING brings out my top side faster. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErosWired Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 4 hours ago, viking8x6 said: Absolutely HATE the whole idea. NOBODY owns my ass but me. Nor my dick either. Not even my fiancé. And the idea that anyone would assert such ownership without so much as a nod to dialog or negotiation is repugnant. Further to that, my impression is that many of the guys who consider themselves "alpha" tops, or who are territorial, jealous, possessive, controlling, etc., have serious self-esteem problems and I don't want them anywhere near me... but if they do decide to tangle with me, and start to play that card, NOTHING brings out my top side faster. So, basically what you’re saying is that you’re jealousy and aggressively possessive and territorial…over your own ass? 😜 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotguy02 Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 My top daddy is very territorial and greedy he doesn't let me suck anyone else but him. Let alone let any other cock near my ass . He's very specific about it. I feel obligated to obey since he's the one that took my virginity. I feel committed to him and pleasing him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KylerIsTrash Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 Territorial tops bother me too. I am an equal opportunity cumdump and want everyone to get in as often as they like. I try to make this clear by saying I only fuck at bathhouses, I’m not into 1:1, I only fuck in common spaces. Given I only fuck in bathhouses, I don’t usually have an issue but there have been times a guy will stand around in the dark room and try to gatekeep other guys from fucking me or the dude will be insistent about taking me back to his room. There’s been a couple times I’ve had to pull off the blindfold and level with the guy in a much more serious tone. It’s not how I roll and he can either fuck the way I do or find another BTM. I appreciate the other guys who have been around in these instances to step in and help keep the vibe rolling. (If this has ever been you; thank you. I owe you.). I also don’t like territorial bottoms. I’d rather sideline and watch another dude take a cock than attempt to sabotage his good time. I appreciate the tops that unload in me but I don’t resent them for pulling out and trying another hole. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallslenderguy Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 8 hours ago, KylerIsTrash said: I also don’t like territorial bottoms. I’d rather sideline and watch another dude take a cock than attempt to sabotage his good time. I appreciate the tops that unload in me but I don’t resent them for pulling out and trying another hole. ^This^ Was at a gay resort in Palm Springs the last 5 days. They have a built in sort of sex club called "The Maze" (@ All Worlds). i have mixed feelings about All Worlds, it's sort of like staying at a sex club, except "The Maze" is only opened Fri-Sun. So it's pretty dead week days, and pretty crowded on week ends. The crowds at a sex club (generally) make for a lot of variety and a lot more choices. Tops may be rutting and getting fucked often does not mean getting a load. Makes sense to me. If someone has bought an all day pass, they may wanna lengthen Their stay and sample holes. It seems most bottoms want/need seed. i do. For me, the connection is interrupted or incomplete if a Man doesn't have an orgasm with me, so especially in that kind of environment, i have to cognitively prepare myself to get fucked and not necessarily loaded. It' comes with the turf. Once i do that, i find i can appreciate from a different angle. i love Men/men. i would rather go without than have a guy who does not want me as i want him. Happened last night. Guy with a massive cock and legs spread, offering. Sunday night, no one around and my bottom cocksucker instincts kicked in and i went down on him He got on his cell phone, seemed to be texting, but obviously was not into what i was doing... so i left. Just because he was there and presenting, doesn't mean i was what he wanted, and that's fine... i only want mutual. The Maze has about 5 big beds, which is my favorite, i like to lie on my stomach and present. Often there is several guys on the bed. i watched a guy getting fucked yesterday and the Top was a sweet Fucker. At one point, as i lay there watching, we made eye contact and i gave Him a thumbs up , He smiled and winked back, obviously enjoying Himself. The bottom was also obviously enjoying himself, and i was happy for Him. While i was watching, two guys fucked him. The first fucked him for some time, but the bottom seemed maybe less experienced? idk, he seemed to be taking it, but having a challenging time of it and the Top had to sort of chase his hole at times? After He fucked him awhile, He left him and came over to me and mounted me. i was VERY horny from watching, so i was like a starving bottom and as He entered me (His Cock was big), i pressed up into Him receiving Him. He obviously liked what He felt, which just fueled my lust and i was full on hungry slut with Him. It wasn't long and He announced He was cumming, which surprised me, i wasn't expecting to get His seed, but He had a big load, and i got it and He collapsed on top of me after. Was sooooo fucking sweet. i thanked Him (a lot, i was really grateful lol), and He got up and asked me to clean His cock, which i did happily and He went on His way. This is only my second time in this kind of setting since the pandemic, and it seems to me different now, that there is a lot more rutting now than cumming? Idk, it may be me that has changed and i just notice it more. i've made a mental and emotional adjustment now. If i'm in a public kind of venue, i don't have the expectation of getting seeded... of course i want it, but i don't expect it. If my sole need at the time is to get seed, then i'm better off looking for 1:1. Either way, i think it is petty and immature to try and take or keep a Top from another bottom, it fucks up the whole vibe of a group of Men/men getting together to meet their desires and needs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NWUSHorny Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 13 hours ago, KylerIsTrash said: Given I only fuck in bathhouses, I don’t usually have an issue but there have been times a guy will stand around in the dark room and try to gatekeep other guys from fucking me or the dude will be insistent about taking me back to his room. Unfortunately this seems to be a common expectation in Portland, that if you fuck with them you won't fuck with anyone else in the same night. In almost 25 years of going to sex clubs, I've only had this happen once outside of the PNW. It definitely puts a huge damper on trying to get a good group orgy going. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NWUSHorny Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 3 hours ago, tallslenderguy said: This is only my second time in this kind of setting since the pandemic, and it seems to me different now, that there is a lot more rutting now than cumming? Idk, it may be me that has changed and i just notice it more. i've made a mental and emotional adjustment now. If i'm in a public kind of venue, i don't have the expectation of getting seeded... of course i want it, but i don't expect it. If my sole need at the time is to get seed, then i'm better off looking for 1:1. At least immediately following the pandemic there was a pronounced increase in sample rutting as well as one on one hookups, at least in Portland, but unfortunately for me it pretty much returned to normal. I absolutely love sampling multiple holes and poles during a night at the sex club especially big dog pile type orgies with lots of partner switching. I started going to sex clubs when I lived in Denver, and on the weekends I considered it a total failure if I didn't dick and/or get dicked by at least 25 different guys. In almost 9 years of living there I failed at most 10% of the time and I went almost every Friday and Saturday night. to normal. The fact that sex clubs and cruising in general doesn't work that way in every city, is the primary reason I'm sexually incompatible with the PNW. I think I've been to Palm Springs twice since the pandemic but had not noticed a difference in sample rutting there. At least at CCBC, it seems to be expected and I'm more than happy to comply with that expectation. The only time I've ever been to All Worlds was before the pandemic and on a weekday and it was much slower than a weeknight at CCBC has typically been for me. I've been trying to make it to a Cumunion party there, in the hopes that there would be a significant amount of hole and pole sampling happening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallslenderguy Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 20 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said: At least immediately following the pandemic there was a pronounced increase in sample rutting as well as one on one hookups, at least in Portland, but unfortunately for me it pretty much returned to normal. I absolutely love sampling multiple holes and poles during a night at the sex club especially big dog pile type orgies with lots of partner switching. I started going to sex clubs when I lived in Denver, and on the weekends I considered it a total failure if I didn't dick and/or get dicked by at least 25 different guys. In almost 9 years of living there I failed at most 10% of the time and I went almost every Friday and Saturday night. to normal. The fact that sex clubs and cruising in general doesn't work that way in every city, is the primary reason I'm sexually incompatible with the PNW. I think I've been to Palm Springs twice since the pandemic but had not noticed a difference in sample rutting there. At least at CCBC, it seems to be expected and I'm more than happy to comply with that expectation. The only time I've ever been to All Worlds was before the pandemic and on a weekday and it was much slower than a weeknight at CCBC has typically been for me. I've been trying to make it to a Cumunion party there, in the hopes that there would be a significant amount of hole and pole sampling happening. CCBC has been my best experience in PS, All Worlds has better facilities, the owner has obviously shelled out some money to improve the property. Butt then, my first load this trip was in a Lowe’s restroom, so obviously sex supplants classy digs with me. At CCBC I got a great combination of walk in breeding in my room (all night long), and their play area is an ongoing orgy, what’s not to love? Been about 6 years though, All worlds always has a room, CCBC is harder to get reservations… and the hosted Cumunion this weekend. Didn’t go, AW was very busy Fri-Sat, dead on weekdays. They finished “Th Maze” during the pandemic and did a decent job. I’ve only been to Hawks in Pdx (underwhelming), and I’d rate the maze as superior, both crowds and facilities, big outdoor area as well, lots more than CCBC. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hntnhole Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 (edited) 21 hours ago, ErosWired said: Perhaps I should clarify that I think it unreasonable to expect from casual arrangements based solely on a sexual component Agreed, and thanks for the that. It is entirely unreasonable to expect anything more than "play" based on nothing but the sexual component. Still, I tried to offer the guy that asked about "ownership-play" some advice. The entire meaning of Ownership carries far more depth than merely playing around with some bonds. It carries a far deeper connection than mere "play". 21 hours ago, ErosWired said: The Leather ethic is not, regrettably, as widely observed as one might wish Agreed as well, unfortunately. There may well be lots of guys here on BZ that have no idea of the subject. But, that's the way of the world, it seems. Still, there are some of us that took part, remember how enriching the real deal is, was, and are grateful for the depth it brought to our lives. I know I've lived a better life as a Leatherman, despite the fact that I seldom wear the hides anymore. The organizations, gathering places have faded, and it's just too damn hot here for it. Edited May 22, 2023 by hntnhole phrasing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norefusal Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 sex is not very woke. but that doesn't mean we need to make being unPC a lifestyle. u felt the need to tell us right away he was latino because you are sexualizing him by race. macho possessive latin guy oh no. danger. lol u also seem to hint that u both loved the dynamic when horny. why whisper hes the only cock for u unless the possessiveness was turning u on. and maybe he came quickly because he was turned on by fucking a used cummy hole. then he slut shamed u. humiliation is also a big turn on sexually ya dumb slut 😜 so which is it? are u guys enjoying some fun role playing? or is he too controling for your free spirit. only u know the answer to that. sounds like you might have to *gasp* have an adult conversation with the other adult youre adult fucking. oh no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidsbait Posted May 23, 2023 Report Share Posted May 23, 2023 lol the men who use me know I get fucked by a ton of other guys. for a lot of men the attraction of fucking a whore like me is knowing how many guys have recently dumped loads in me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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