Every been scared or freaked out by what happens to you?

[Sub-Cocksucker]

I'm not sure how to even express this really but,
my main question is have you ever been scared or freaked out by an experience you had or a situation you have been put in?

a little background on my current situation.
I have been servicing an older very dominant man for several months now. It didn't take long before he was having a few of his buddies over to also use me.
I love being called names and degraded and used so for the most part I have enjoyed being used by them on a regular basis.
however the last couple months things have changed. He has always been very into sharing me with other men.
but the last couple months he has turned me into it a cum dump.
to the point where he has arranged several large parties where I was the only bottom. The last party had over 20 men throughout the night.
this is the part I have a hard time expressing. I can't express how much it both scares me and turns me on at the same time.
one thing I need to make clear is I am not a bug chaser. I have no desire to ever be HIV positive.
I have been a total submissive bottom for years and it's not like I haven't been put in very dangerous situations many times before,
but this just seems different and way more intense.
it's been a very big mind fuck for me. The situation scares me I feel like I'm in over my head I feel like it's all too much.
but at the same time a big part of me really likes that this man is making me do this. That he is throwing me down this rabbit hole.
I have always had a dangerous fetish of dominant men making me do things I am not totally comfortable with.
I have started taking prep so that this situation is at least somewhat safe. I figured it's about the only thing I can do.
because I know myself well enough to know I will not walk away from this situation.
I have always been submissive and always like being used by dominant men that put me in my place.
being a totaled cum dump taking so much random cock and cum has very much put me in my place. And seems to have put me in a permanent sub-headspace.
anyway I guess this was just a way for me to get this off my chest.
I am curious if anyone else has been in this situation or is currently.
I would love to have a fellow sub to talk about this stuff on an ongoing basis.
I'm also open to speaking with dominant men that have put a sub through these types of situations.
 

[scarnick]

My thought is for you to talk to your Dom and tell him your feelings and doubts.  Maybe he can help you adjust or feel safer in these situations.  I think a good Dom needs to take care of his sub in all ways.

[ErosWired]

Let’s take a moment to look at what you’re telling us. You say that you feel scared, freaked out, that the situation you’re in is ‘too much’, and that you feel that what’s going on is to some degree dangerous. You characterize what is happening as something that is being done to you, a condition placed upon you - you say the Dominant is ‘making you’ do things and ‘throwing you’ down a rabbit hole. Yet you make it clear that you’re turned on by what is happening, and you think of it as a ‘permanent sub-space’ that you know you’re not going to walk away from.

Let’s be clear here - the Dom isn’t making you do anything that you aren’t consenting to do. None of this is nonconsensual, and any sense of you being forced is something you’re conjuring up in your own mind as a part of the sexual role that you are playing as a submissive. No Dominant can force you into subspace - that’s a state you enter on your own. So dispense with the idea that your situation is dangerous because it’s out of your control. It’s not. You can say no at any point.

That means the Dominant and his friends aren’t the ones making you uneasy. You’re making yourself uneasy because you’re internally conflicted - part of you wants to do these things, and does them, and you know perfectly well isn’t going to stop, even though another part of you isn’t on the same page, sees the potential dangers, and isn’t comfortable with it.

The way you talk about being put in your place suggests you may wrestle with matters of self-image that predispose you to submission even if in a particular instance the submission might feel unwise; that, too, can be a source of inner conflict, but again the cause is internal, not imposed from outside.

I would suggest that you reframe your question, for yourself, as ‘Do I get scared or freaked out by what I let happen to me, and if so, why do I let it happen?’

[Sub-Cocksucker]

Thanks for the replies,
I suppose the way I worded things could have been better, I realize they are not FORCING me to do these things.

Most things in life that are fun can have a certain level of risk to them, and we decide for ourselves how much of a risk we are willing to take for that fun.
This just seem to take it to another level. 
The scared part is mainly about how much control I let them have, and how much I am willing to submit to it all.
 

[Biker18914]

there are time when i wondered where is have gone but i LOVE what i have be come, a slut who need cum!

 

i want to be a cum dump

[Kimberley]

One time i had a blindfolded cumdump date with a guy but i didn't knew that he had not closed the door after he was inside, when he was fucking me in the ass i heard the door got open and heard footsteps, i was shocking who is that.. but it remains sillent and then i felt the first guy was changing position and i felt another dick into me. then i felt relieved because i knew it was set up by those 2. they fucked me both on turns.

 

another time a man was fucking me and suddenly he grabbed my neck and began to choke me while he was fucking me and told me that i was a whore for every guy, i didn't like it that he chocked me so i said to take his hands off, luckily he did but it was a scared moment for sure

[Teeslad70]

There have been times when I have felt disgusted with myself and vowed to end putting myself in situations.

But it only takes a few months before I'm craving it so much that I'm back on my knees.

[TallAussieBtm]

Only once. In a sex-on-premises venue attached to a sex shop. In a tiny cubicle (phone booth size with a glory hole to the nextdoor booth). Totally dark. Being fucked by this strong hot wiry middle aged guy. Started asking all sorts of questions about did I like fucking young guys. Told me he was a recently released ex-prisoner. Had a son. Did I fantasize about fucking having sex with his son. I was pinned down on my back with my arse up as he was fucking me, totally immobilised, held down in the dark and heat. As his talk got more and more personal about his family I was really scared about how he might react no matter how I responded. Would he be offended if I implied fucking his son would be hot? Or if I indicated I didn't want his son? Would he hit me? Kill me? I literally couldn't move in the confined space to escape if I'd wanted to. I just wanted him to cum and be finished. It took a while but massaging his nuts helped get him over the edge. Then he zipped up and left. Scariest moment of my life, I reckon!

[Pozguyinchi]

I think most of us bottom whores can understand what you are saying. We have all been put into situations where we thought….. how did I let myself get to this place. My last situation was with two very burnt out looking poz guys in Hawaii. They had been partying all night and both had to use trimax to stay hard. They both bred me and I got an uneasy feeling and decided to bolt. I have learned that you need to go with your gut. If it doesn’t feel right change your situation. Most bottoms are pleasers by nature so they put the top first. It’s ok to put your feelings first. There will be other tops and he will find another bottom. Life will move on. 

[partying.hard]

You are your best sexual advocate.

When the thrill of risk is overcome be anxiety or fear, carefully extricate yourself from the environment, as quickly and safely as you can.

[BBottom28]

Sorry if I sound harsh, but when I read your posts I find it difficult to see if it’s just a fantasy of yours or if it’s just something you are ashamed you like.

if it’s a fantasy try it out or just use it as a fantasy, not every fantasy has to come true.

if it’s the other talk to someone that can help you accept yourself better.

 

[chargedodger]

Scared? yes...several time throughout my sex life.But heart pounding and a bit freaked out...they became the most memorable times.:)

[fuzzybttm]

On 7/29/2023 at 11:45 PM, ErosWired said:

Let’s take a moment to look at what you’re telling us. You say that you feel scared, freaked out, that the situation you’re in is ‘too much’, and that you feel that what’s going on is to some degree dangerous. You characterize what is happening as something that is being done to you, a condition placed upon you - you say the Dominant is ‘making you’ do things and ‘throwing you’ down a rabbit hole. Yet you make it clear that you’re turned on by what is happening, and you think of it as a ‘permanent sub-space’ that you know you’re not going to walk away from.

Let’s be clear here - the Dom isn’t making you do anything that you aren’t consenting to do. None of this is nonconsensual, and any sense of you being forced is something you’re conjuring up in your own mind as a part of the sexual role that you are playing as a submissive. No Dominant can force you into subspace - that’s a state you enter on your own. So dispense with the idea that your situation is dangerous because it’s out of your control. It’s not. You can say no at any point.

Let's be clear, active consent is consent, a lot of things that are not consent can be feigned to look like consent.  You can also, in some ways, enjoy things to which you didn't consent (i.e. a turn-on doesn't mean consent).

That said, in this instance, it appears that you seem to be into the outcome whether or not consent was given, and you wanna move your goalposts or you know your dom wants to but you're a bit freaked, that's what a conversation's for.  Sounds like you two just need to get back on the same page, the far dirtier far piggier one

[bottombehr]

On 9/17/2023 at 6:18 AM, Pozguyinchi said:

I think most of us bottom whores can understand what you are saying. We have all been put into situations where we thought….. how did I let myself get to this place. My last situation was with two very burnt out looking poz guys in Hawaii. They had been partying all night and both had to use trimax to stay hard. They both bred me and I got an uneasy feeling and decided to bolt. I have learned that you need to go with your gut. If it doesn’t feel right change your situation. Most bottoms are pleasers by nature so they put the top first. It’s ok to put your feelings first. There will be other tops and he will find another bottom. Life will move on. 

Great advice.

[norefusal]

i'm often attracted to people who are more "out of control" than i am as it creates an environment of permissiveness different than the "you better be careful" advice of most people. if we listen to our friends we'd all sit home alone at night 😜

for me the cut off point is institutional intervention: if i fear either an ambulance or the police are gonna be called, i book it. 

the usual struggle for me tho, and perhaps you are the same, is fear of myself. what does it say about me that i love playing sub in bed? am i selling myself short? dimming my own light? etc only you can answer this about yourself. 

personally, i'm always beggin my regular doms to whore me out. sounds like you're livin the dream. but is it your dream? are you scared for yourself or of yourself?